Chapter 33 #2
“How can I not?” she asked softly. “And no, I don’t have a savior’s complex or anything like that. I don’t think I can change you or save you or fix you. I just want to be here for you, to love you because you deserve to be loved, Easton, and I very much want to be the person to do it.”
He broke down again, hiding his face behind his hands, hunching over as though everything in his core ached.
Everything inside her broke for the man in her arms, the need to avenge the child he was, the man he became, all because of the way others treated him.
Whatever she would do, could do...an idea started to form.
She wasn’t sure if it was even possible, but the idea rolled around her mind even more. Holding him, she let him cry.
"How's he doing?" Carter's voice came from the doorway behind her, speaking softly. "You need a hand?"
Knowing Easton had said Carter and he had been working on something, she nodded and put out her hand, so he came to the two of them. She didn’t speak, her arm around Easton’s middle, holding him tight.
"How are you doing there, brother?" Carter asked gently.
"Not great," Easton admitted. "I don't know how to process any of this."
"None of us do," Carter said. "I know I'm not the only one feeling like my whole life has been a lie.
Or feeling this overwhelming rage for my parents.
For all the families they've destroyed with this bullshit.
All we can do is make them pay and then we have a lifetime together to try and put the pieces back together. "
“And we will,” Petra said to them both. “I promise.”
"I'm sorry." Easton pulled away from them completely and tried to dry his face. "I'm ruining the weekend. We should go back to the others."
"No rush," Carter said softly. "Take your time."
"You guys go on ahead." He was closed off now, turning away. "I'll be fine. I'll come through in a few minutes."
She sighed. “Okay...” She let Carter pull her to her feet, giving him his dignity. “But if you need...” she left it hanging. “The only way any of us can help is if you let us. I love you.” She smiled at him and felt Carter squeeze her hand.
"I know. I love you, too. I just don't want to go back in there looking like a half-cooked tomato." He glanced back at them. "I'm fine. I just need to calm down."
She smiled back at him. It was a victory in her eyes. “I expect a cuddle when you come back,” she offered and they walked out and down the hall, Carter holding her hand still.
"Don't ask for more than he can give," Carter said quietly, pausing her in the hallway.
"He was okay to be touched just now because his distress overrode his fear, but making 'expectations' of him when he's still trying to get out of his own head might be counterproductive.
You have to wait for him to come to you. "
“I know. And I also know that Easton needs direction from me. He told me if I want something, to tell him. I would never punish him for anything... We have an understanding, him and I. And I would never ever expect something he wasn’t willing to give.”
"Then consider your words," Carter said to her.
"You just told him you expect a cuddle. Not that you want one, or you'd like one.
That you expect one. Words have power. This is a long road to recovery for him, and it needs to be handled with care.
Expectations are..." He sighed, looking tired.
"You know, that's not my story to tell. But Stephan had many expectations of Easton and none of them were pretty.
You should encourage him to open up to you about it. "
“Understood.” She nodded.
"Good. Then let's get back to the party." He smiled and kissed her forehead.
Entering the living room, she saw Leo and Jack had pulled out desserts and were eating from the pies themselves, spraying forkfuls with whipped cream. “Look at the two of you.” She giggled. “Aren’t we supposed to be researching?”
"No," Finn said firmly. "This is supposed to be a holiday weekend. Enough of the books and the theories. We should be stuffing ourselves silly and relaxing. Things will get serious soon enough. There's time to figure out the history lessons afterwards."
"Amen to that," Leo said, stuffing another piece of pie in his face with a broad grin.
“You want some pie, baby?” Jack asked, brandishing a fork full of pie at her. Sitting, she let him feed her. “Open,” he said and she did, and he sprayed cream into her mouth. She squealed and then laughed.
“That was a lot!”
“I think you have taken a bit more than that in your mouth,” Emerson commented from his seat at the couch.
"Damn right, she has," Leo smirked.
“Jerks.” Shaking her head, she grabbed her wine glass, Rix filling it back up. “Well, dinner is done, desserts are being demolished...”
“There are two more pies in the kitchen,” Jack offered helpfully around a forkful of pie.
“So what else to do?” she asked with a grin.
“What would you normally do?” Emerson asked.
She shrugged. “With my girls? Drink a bunch of wine. Play some stupid game like Truth or Dare or Never Have I Ever or cards...”
"Please tell me we have a copy of Cards Against Humanity," Leo said, perking up. "I'm going to make you laugh so hard you'll never recover."
“I didn’t bring any,” Emerson offered. “Do any of us own that?”
She shook her head. “I didn’t bring any, either. We could watch a movie?” She wasn’t sure they were really the kinda guys to play Truth or Dare with, and certainly not Never Have I Ever..
"I'm not sure..." Leo made a face. "How are we all supposed to snuggle with you at the same time? There's only one of you and seven of us."
“Then I guess it’s Truth or Dare,” Rix said with a smirk.
"You sure you're ready to go down that particular rabbit hole, cupcake?" Finn said with a grin.
She arched a brow. “I wasn’t the one that suggested it.”
“Um, you did mention it.”
“But I didn’t suggest it,” she insisted. “And anyway, you do realize that a game of Truth or Dare is not going to hold up to what we normally do, right?”
“Sounds like a challenge.” Rix smirked.
"Personally, I'm all up for chasing you all around the garden while you're naked, but it's maybe a bit cold," Leo sighed.
"We kind of suck at group activities," Carter laughed. "What about Charades? That doesn't require any equipment, and we could do it in teams."
"How is it that Finn's the leader, but you're the daddy?" Easton laughed, coming into the room.
“No one is chasing her anywhere but me,” Rix growled, desire flashing in his eyes.
Shivering slightly, she settled on the chair and a half alone, pulling her legs up to settle under her. She looked at Carter. “So should I call you Daddy? That going to be a thing now?”
"You can call me whatever you want, Princess," Carter said, heat in his eyes.
"And I'll chase whoever I want," Leo snarled right back at Rix. "Try and fucking stop me."
"Easy, boys," Finn said calmly. "Put your dicks away. This is a party, remember?"
Easton groaned. "You had to go and mention dicks, didn't you? Now Leo is going to—"
"Dick measuring contest!" Leo crowed, getting to his feet and reaching for his belt.
"How many times has he tried this now?" Carter asked Finn conversationally.
"Too many," Finn sighed back. "Sit down, Leo. There's pie on the table. No one wants dicks in the pie."
"Fine. Whatever," Leo sat down grumpily.
“Yeah, it’s not that kinda party,” she agreed with a giggle. “If it was I would have figured it would be a dick in the mashed potatoes.”
“Do not give him ideas,” Emerson groaned.
“Leo baby...your hog need some attention?” she purred in a tease.
"When does it not need attention?" Leo answered. "If I could have you bouncing on it all day every day, I'd—"
"Get pretty raw and land both of you in the ER with cystitis or some shit like that," Carter interrupted. "And you wouldn't want to do that to our girl now, would you?"
"No...Daddy." Leo smirked and the others burst out laughing.
“You are both terrible.” Shaking her head, she winked at Easton. “So we sitting here just insulting Leo all night?”
“You know,” Emerson said with a sly smile, “I think Petra should answer the age old question. I mean, since Leo isn’t going to stop with the measuring...” He looked to her. “Who is the biggest?”
“I know dudes don’t wanna hear this but size isn’t everything...and it’s not the size, it’s how you use it.” Taking a sip of her wine, she smiled into the rim.
"That's a shit answer," Leo snorted. "But I'll let you get away with it because I know you're just trying to protect everyone else's feelings."
“No, I’m actually not trying to protect anyone. You guys are volatile and wild and slightly crazy but not one of you has any kinda issue with what you are packing.” She sipped again. “Each of you are quite proud of it...some more than others...”
“Yes, we are all of those things...and competitive.” Emerson pointed to the rest of them.
“Fine. So ask me specific questions. I’ll answer.” This could be fun.
"If you had to describe each of us in one word, what would it be?" Carter asked.
“Person or cock?” she offered. “Cuz those are different answers I think. Well, for the most part.”
"This is me," Carter chuckled. "I'm not interested in anyone's dick but my own."
She hummed. “True. Okay...” She pointed at him. “Thoughtful.” She winked and pointed to Jack, “Fun,” Leo, “wild,” Emerson, “romantic,” Finn, “naughty,” Rix, “dangerous,” to which he gave her a savage grin, and to Easton, “complicated.”
"Seems fair," Carter shrugged. "What did you see the future looking like when we get back?" Easton asked her curiously.
“Us together, whatever that looks like,” she answered without thought. “I’m not interested in being without any of you, and a life without you now is not an option. Any of you. You all tick boxes for me, and I hope I do for you as well.”
Jack nodded. “Goddamn right you do.”