Chapter 32
‘Ahem.’ He clears his throat.
The lights are still blocking my field of vision. I take a step forward so that I can see. Hugh is standing up in the middle of the auditorium. I didn’t know it was possible to forget how handsome someone is until I see him. I can tell he’s unsure about what he’s doing – he’s not standing up as straight as usual, and his jaw is so pronounced it seems like he’s clenching it.
The audience is looking to me expectantly. I open my mouth to speak but suddenly my throat is dry. I practically lunge for the water bottle on the table.
‘I would like to clear something up,’ Hugh says, turning to address the audience behind him. He has an easy way with crowds, I can tell already. ‘I can second that the wrasse was spotted, and I’ve filed a petition for an exception so that my sighting and the photograph can count as proof of existence. I accompanied Andi on her dives and also saw the butterfly wrasse. Just wanted to make sure that was known.’ With that, he sinks back into his seat.
I can barely finish the rest of the presentation, I’m so distracted. I fumble out the closing words and quickly click through the acknowledgement slides, desperate to get backstage, away from the lights, desperate to talk to Hugh.
Part of presenting at conferences involves being around afterwards for questions, so I force myself to exit stage right and linger to see if the participants have anything to discuss. My gaze is locked on a blond head about thirty feet away from me, a couple of rows up, when a young woman appears at my side. She introduces herself as someone working for a Boston institution and asks about a specific pollution statistic. I answer her briefly, giving her Millie’s email in case she has any questions, and send her on her way. I look back up to see if I can spot the blond ahead again, but it’s gone.
My phone vibrates in my pocket. A text from Millie:
No f*cking way. HE WAS THERE? HE INTERRUPTED MY (your) PRESENTATION? Are you so happy? TELL ME EVERYTHING. Are you guys talking? AHHHHH
Told you that he can really steal a show. Now do you see why he’s my nemesis?
I smile at my phone, glad she isn’t mad. I type a message back:
Sorry I ad-libbed some of the talk track.
A hand taps me on the shoulder. ‘Got a minute?’
Instinctively, I know it’s Hugh. My insides melt as I turn around. ‘Hi,’ I breathe.
‘Hey.’
We look at each other in awkward silence. I take in every part of Hugh’s face. His eyelashes, his thick eyebrows, the curl of hair just above his right ear. I can barely look him in the eyes, they’re too strong and too magnetic. Already I feel like he’s pulling me under. My knees start to wobble.
‘So,’ Hugh says, with the start of a smile playing at his lips. ‘This is you now, huh?’
‘I’m pretty sure you’ve always known me as this. But yes, this is me now.’ I do a half curtsey and immediately feel mortified that I half-curtseyed. Thankfully, Hugh is smiling and doesn’t seem to notice.
‘Did you know I was here?’ he asks when he looks up.
I shake my head.
‘So, you were just gonna tell the whole room regardless?’
‘It was the right thing to do.’ I shrug.
Hugh laughs. I missed the sound of his laugh.
‘I’m sorry about asking you to sign the dive log,’ I say.
‘I’m sorry I made you have to do that ,’ he says at the same time, gesturing at the stage.
‘It’s OK,’ I reply.
‘My personal feelings got in the way,’ he adds, talking over me again.
We both start to laugh.
‘Personal feelings, huh?’
‘I wasn’t planning to come,’ he says. ‘It’s not like I had anything to present on anymore.’ He chuckles awkwardly. ‘And I didn’t think you’d want to see me after how we said goodbye.’
‘But I sent you a letter.’
‘What letter?’
‘The letter,’ I repeat, feeling impossibly stupid and incredibly frustrated. ‘It explained everything. Why I lied, what was happening with Millie . . . You never got my letter?’
Hugh shakes his head. ‘No . . . but when my boss insisted I come with her to help with her presentation I figured it wouldn’t be right to miss yours.’
I grin. ‘I have to admit – I heard you emailed Derek, and I was hoping it had something to do with the conference.’
‘Ah, yes, Derek.’
We both laugh.
‘The truth is . . .’ Hugh breaks off midsentence. He leans closer to me, his eyes lingering over my face, my lips. I feel like we are the only two people in the world. I grab his hand with mine, intertwining our fingers. For the first time in four months, it finally feels like I can breathe again.
‘Yes?’
‘Andi, I never stopped thinking about you. I missed you. I was hoping that I could find something of Derek’s to help, to make up for how we said goodbye. That maybe I could reach out to you again . . .’
‘Hugh,’ I breathe. ‘If anything, it’s me that should be thanking you. After all, you did help me go from talking about cereal to this .’ Although when I wave my hands around the cleared-out auditorium it doesn’t feel much more impressive than my cubicle.
Hugh laughs. ‘Hopefully, you’re getting to do more than attend conferences. So what do we do now?’
‘Well . . .’ I pause, glancing at my schedule. The rest of my day is full of presentations that I wanted to attend but don’t need to, and suddenly I’m not feeling inclined to stay inside.
‘We can attend the talk on ITLOS regulations, or we can go grab food at a cute spot near the park?’
Hugh’s eyes sparkle and I can tell he’s trying not to laugh. ‘ITLOS. Definitely.’
I swat at his arm.
‘Food sounds perfect.’
‘That was easy,’ I say, picking up my bag and swinging it over my shoulder. ‘Remind me why Millie says you’re terrible to work with?’ I’m whisper-laughing now. Hugh is drawing me closer, our torsos touching, his other hand wrapped around my low back.
‘How is Millie?’ he asks.
‘She’s good. She sends her regards.’
He laughs. ‘I take it she saw my interruption.’
Our faces are drawing closer together. I feel like I can’t breathe.
‘She did.’
Hugh leans forward and touches his forehead gently to mine. ‘When do you leave?’ he breathes.
‘Two days,’ I say. I’m smiling so wide I feel like my face will split in half. Our noses brush.
‘Then we better make the most of it.’ He kisses me, first lightly, our lips barely grazing each other, then deeper, hungrily, so intensely I can feel it all the way into my toes.
‘I really am sorry,’ I say when we finally break for air. ‘I’m sorry I wasn’t honest and then I asked you to lie for me too. I’m sorry it took me so long to realise who I’m supposed to be.’
‘Andi,’ Hugh says, our foreheads meeting once again. ‘You have been you the whole time I’ve known you, and I’ve loved every second.’