34
Florence
"What's going on with you tonight?" I ask Marin as she sets a salad in front of me. She's been oddly quiet since I came home.
"Your shadow," she says. "Is she dealing with her grandfather's estate tonight?" She sets a fork next to my plate.
"She's not my shadow," I argue. Josie's been over a lot lately, but it's not all the time. "Don't deflect. What's going on with you?" I repeat.
She straightens, folding her hands behind her back. "Have you considered that I might be concerned with how quickly she's planted herself in your life?"
"Planted herself?" I put the fork down. "You make it sound like she's rooted herself here."
"She's certainly attached herself firmly enough."
I frown. "Sit down, Marin." When she hesitates, I soften my tone. "Please? We need to talk about this."
She sinks into the chair across from me. "I apologize if I overstepped." There's a ghost of a ma'am following the flat apology.
"You did, but that's not—" I take a deep breath. "You've been against Josie since the beginning. I want to understand why."
"I'm paid to look out for your interests."
"No," I say firmly, shaking my head. "You're paid to manage my household and my schedule. You look out for my interests because we're friends." I study her for a long moment. "So as my friend, tell me what's bothering you about her."
Her shoulders drop. "You don't see how she looks at you, Florence."
"What do you mean?
"Like she's afraid of wanting you." Marin's voice is barely above a whisper. "The same way Katie looked at you in the beginning."
"Josie is nothing like Katie."
"No?" Marin looks at me angrily. "A successful woman in her own right, drawn to you—but afraid of your intensity? Someone who makes you smile without trying, who gets you to lower your guard?" She shakes her head. "Someone who'll eventually decide your dedication to your job is too much?"
"That's not fair."
"What's not fair is watching you fall for someone who's still in love with someone else." She stands up abruptly, moving to clear the dishes I've barely touched. "At least Katie was only in love with your money."
I catch her wrist. "Stop, Marin. Set the dishes down and stop. Talk to me."
She puts the plates down, but she doesn't sit. "I watched what happened after Katie left, Florence. Do you remember that night?"
"Of course I remember," I snap. I'd found out Katie was cheating on me with some artist who had time for her needs. Even during our rocky times, I never thought she'd cheat on me. I spent the night in my office, burying myself in work.
"No," Marin says softly. "You remember the work part. You don't remember me finding you at three in the morning. Still in yesterday's clothes, staring blankly at nothing."
I blink.
I don't remember that. At all.
"You didn't cry. You didn't rage. You just retreated. Further and further into yourself until the Florence I knew almost disappeared." Wrapping her arms around herself, she swallows. "I helped you rebuild, watched you close yourself off from anyone who might hurt you like that again. But now…"
"Now what?"
"Now I see you falling harder for Josie than you ever did for Katie. It terrifies me." Her voice cracks. "Because this time when she breaks your heart, I don't know if you'll come back."
"Marin." I stand up, reaching for her. She steps back.
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said anything." She turns toward the kitchen. "I'll get your dinner."
"No. You can't drop something like that on me and walk away. Look at me," I say, my voice softening.
She reluctantly meets my eyes.
"First of all, you're right. I am falling for her. Probably already have." Hopelessly. Saying it out loud makes my chest tighten. "But Josie's not Katie. She doesn't want my money or my position. She keeps refusing both." Stubborn woman.
"She wants your heart," Marin argues. "That's more dangerous."
"Maybe." I take a deep breath. "But you're wrong about her breaking it," I say firmly, trying to convince myself as much as her. "Josie is the most honest person I know. Even when it hurts." I sigh. "Even when the truth might cost her everything, she chooses honesty."
"She's honest about still being in love with her best friend."
"Yes, she is. Just like she's honest about her growing feelings for me." I smile, remembering her comment during our conversation last night.
Marin's eyes widen. "I didn't know that."
"No, because you decided to protect me instead of getting to know her." I squeeze her shoulder gently. "I appreciate that you want to guard my heart, Marin. But you need to trust that I know what I'm doing."
"Do you?" She raises an eyebrow.
"Not entirely," I admit. "But I know that whatever happens with her, it'll be real. No games." I meet her eyes. "And I want my friend's support while I figure it out."
She studies me for a long moment before nodding. "I'll try."
"Thank you." I pull her into a quick hug before stepping back. "Now, about the way you're been treating her…"
"I'll apologize." She manages a small smile. "Even though she probably won't trust it."
"She will." I sit back down. "Josie's good at reading people. It's part of why I—" I catch myself.
"Part of why you're falling in love with her?" she asks gently, raising an eyebrow.
"Shut up and get my dinner."
She squeezes my shoulder. "For what it's worth, I hope I'm wrong about her. You deserve someone who sees you the way she does."
I reach up and cover her hand with mine. "Thank you."
As she disappears into the kitchen, I pull out my phone to text her. Do you want to come over when you're done with the estate stuff? I miss you.
There. After the last few days of uncertainty with everything about her grandfather's estate, my mixed feelings and unsettled emotions settle.
Josie's response is almost immediate. Give me an hour. I miss you, too.
I stare at those four words. Marin's not wrong. This thing with Josie—it terrifies me. But for the first time since Katie, I think the risk might be worth it.