Chapter Twelve #4
She frowns with a sigh. “You do have people skills. You have to let them in. Let them see Ria, the woman, not Zaria, the actress. Let them see the Ria I know and love. You showed Ria to me… to Nate. Why not them?”
I shrug. “I don’t know, I wish I had now. With some people, it’s easier to let my guard down. Others have me on edge straight away.”
“You’ve gotten where you needed to be in your public life by being Zaria. To get further, and have an ‘actual’ life…” she uses air quotes, “… I think you need to be Ria. You need to change your outlook and bring down those barriers that make you untouchable.”
Taking in a deep breath, I nod. “Maybe you’re right.”
“Quiet, please,” the director interrupts our chat.
We turn to look down at the stage and watch the four boys set up. Danger is front and center with a vintage microphone, Ryan to his right, and Matt to his left. Nate’s at the back on the drum kit, twirling his sticks in his fingers.
Smiling, I shake my head.
That look right there—Nate behind a giant kit, wearing a tight as fuck tank, ripped jeans, and twirling his drumsticks—is probably the single sexiest thing I think I have ever seen.
“Action,” the director calls out.
The lights dim, illuminating the green screen behind them as they play to the music that flows through the studio speakers. They’re playing along with the soundtrack, but Danger is miming as the heavy beats from Nate’s drums reverberate through the studio.
It sets me alight.
Seeing the guys performing, although not completely live, there’s something special about watching them all together that makes me sit up taller and take a hell of a lot of notice.
My eyes focus on Nate—the tension in his arms while his muscles contract and expand as he hits the snare drum makes me swallow hard.
A fire crackles and burns through my core as I watch him move with effortless ease around his kit.
I never knew someone could make playing the drums look so easy, but Nate makes it seem like it’s as simple as breathing—like he’s one with the metal and mylar.
My breathing becomes shallow as he continues the slow, torturous rhythm.
He’s playing what sounds like complex maneuvers on the kit, but you wouldn’t know it by watching him.
The beats flow from his hands straight onto the skin with no effort or thought placed behind it.
It’s a part of him—the music, the energy—everything moves through him, giving me the positive vibe that he was born to do this.
Nate’s a true artist in every sense of the word.
He’s talented in so many areas, and I wish people could see his potential like I do.
The man is gifted, and I sit here in utter awe of him right now, my panties soaking through watching him in action.
His movements, the way his muscles ripple and jerk with each beat, and the way his face contorts with the heavier beats are all strangely erotic.
It reminds me of the faces he makes when he’s inside me, and that thought makes me throb even harder.
I tense my thighs together to dull the ache between them, and Mindy chuckles beside me.
“Gu…uurl, you’ve got it bad,” she whispers.
I turn to face her. “What?”
She smiles, looking from me to Nate. “You are big-time panting over him.”
I roll my eyes and bump my shoulder into hers as she curls up her button nose at me and winks.
“Don’t worry, I’m totes jelly that you’re banging him. Hey, do you think you can set me up with his twin?” she teases.
I attempt to hold in my laughter as I turn back to watch the guys finish their first take for the day.
Watching them move as a group is incredible.
They work so well together, and I can tell this song is going to do wonders for their careers.
The guys run through their scene three times before wrapping up, and the director is satisfied with everything he needs from the band.
He announces that tomorrow will be devoted to filming Danger and me.
I can’t help but hope Nate will be in a good mood—maybe enough to lift my spirits a bit.
Right now, the hurt from my run-in with Tillie and Lunar still lingers, casting a shadow over my mood.
Seeing the guys perform lifted me a little, but the girls’ words keep echoing, reminding me how far I still am from fitting in here.
The guys head offstage, and I hold back, waiting for Lunar and Tillie to slip out of sight before making my move. Once the coast is clear, Mindy and I step out, scanning the area looking for Nate. I need to make sure he’s okay—especially with Lunar’s frustration simmering so close to the surface.
I make my way to the band’s dressing room, and as I step inside, I find the whole crew there—the band, the girls, and their manager.
The room buzzes with easy laughter and conversation until they notice me.
One by one, their voices fade, and the air turns charged, their expressions clearly portraying what they think of me.
I swallow, forcing a smile that I hope looks genuine. “Hi, guys.”
“Hey,” Nate replies warmly, his smile genuine, though the others stare at me like I’ve intruded where I don’t belong.
I clear my throat, determined to stay upbeat. “So, today went well.”
“Yeah, the guys did great,” Lunar snaps, her tone cutting through the air.
I flinch, my expression twisting in response to Lunar’s sharp tone. Nate shoots her a glare, and she falters, her frown deepening as she realizes the impact of her words.
Swallowing the lump in my throat, I give a stiff nod.
Lunar’s hostile vibe hits me like a wall, and it’s all the confirmation I need. I turn and walk briskly out of the room, my head held high despite the damn sting.
I know now, without a doubt, that I’m not wanted here.
“Ria, wait,” Nate calls after me, his voice echoing down the hall. I chew on my bottom lip, fists clenching and unclenching as I hurry away, my pulse racing with every step.
“Ria!” Nate calls again before he finally catches up. “Hey… slow down.”
“She hates me, Nate,” I snap, the frustration bubbling over.
Nate sighs. “Maybe if you were more Ria and less Zaria, she’d warm to you.”
“I tried! I really tried to connect with her, but she hates me. They all hate me.” I pause, swallowing the tightness in my throat. “How can I be with you when everyone around you can’t stand to be near me?”
Nate reaches out, grabs my hand, halts my pace, and forces me to look at him. “Whoa… whoa… hey now. Why are you talking like this?”
“I told you, they hate me!” I spit out the words bitter on my tongue.
His expression softens, a flash of hurt in his eyes. “So that’s it? Are you ready to throw us away before we’ve even begun? Without even trying? Do I mean that little to you?”
Tears well in my eyes, and I sag my shoulders. “Shit! No. I don’t know what I’m doing, Nate. People usually fall all over me. But not them. I don’t know how to make friends. Hell, I don’t have many.”
“Lunar’s just taking it out on you because of Danger, so don’t take it personally. She’s a jealous one, and the others have only seen you at your worst. You gotta loosen up if you want them to like you.”
“You liked me as Zaria.”
“I saw right through you, but they don’t have their eyes open yet.” He blows out a puff of air and continues, “Ria, please, try to be civil to them. For me. Especially to Lunar and Tillie? Just keep trying.”
My bottom lip quivers. “Nate, I’m sorry.”
He pulls me to him, wrapping himself around me, encompassing my body in his safe warmth. “Hey, don’t be. This is hard on all of us. Just maybe try to be a little, I dunno, less…”
I can see he’s searching for a nice word, so I finish for him, “Diva?”
He chuckles and nods. “Yeah, if possible. And no more talk of calling us off, okay? I’ve only just got you. I don’t want to lose you.”
I look up at him with a smile. “You’re sweet, you know that?”
“I try. How about we go back to your place, have some dinner, and crash out.”
“Sounds great. Hopefully, tomorrow, I can start mending bridges. I sure am going to try for you, but more so for me.”
“I’d give Lunar some time. Maybe start with Tillie. You’ve been riding her pretty damn hard.”
“I feel bad. I hate being that person now. I used to love the power trip that came with being a diva, but now, knowing people are scared of you or think of you as some prima donna, well, it’s just sad.
I really think, now I’ve had time to reflect on it, that my stepdad’s way of doing things is completely and utterly flawed.
Wouldn’t I get my way from being nice to people, too? ”
Nate sighs. “Yeah, baby, you will. But I get what your stepdad was trying to do. Let’s face it, you don’t get as far if you’re too nice. However, I think your stepdad may have taken your training a little too far.”
“Urgh… fuck my life.”
Nate chuckles, leaning in, and gently pecks my lips. “You’re a stunner with a sexy-as-fuck drummer boyfriend. I’d say you’re doing okay.”
“He is sexy-as-fuck, isn’t he?”
Nate smiles as I run my fingers up and down the back of his neck. “Okay, miss… home, food, then bed. Maybe some kink if we’re not too tired.”
Laughing, I lean in, kissing him, and he kisses me back with one hell of a lot of passion.