Chapter Sixteen
ZARIA
We pull up at Recoil’s office building and hop out of Nate’s car, all packed after a great night’s sleep and ready to head off on the press junket.
It’s a glorious day—the sun is shining brightly in the clear morning sky—and as I take in the sounds of the city surrounding me, Nate pulls out our luggage from the car.
“I’m impressed. I would’ve thought, for a diva, you’d pack a little, I dunno… heavier?”
“Not a real diva, remember?” I smirk, the playfulness in my tone matching the glint in his eyes.
“Ah, yes, of course.” He steps in and presses his lips to my forehead as another car pulls up behind Nate’s. Tillie and Ryan step out, and I wave before Ryan pulls their luggage from the trunk. It’s about the same amount we have, and Tillie walks over as Ryan fusses about.
“Hey, Zaria, glad you’re coming along,” Tillie says, pulling me into a hug.
I tense up slightly as I’m still not sure if she’s totally serious, but I quickly wrap my arms around her and embrace her back when I realize she’s not going to let go until I do.
“Thanks, Tillie. I’m hoping it’ll be fun. Glad I’ll have you with me,” I say honestly.
She smiles and pushes her glasses back up her nose from where they’d fallen slightly. “We’re gonna have so much fun, you wait and see.”
“That’s if Lunar doesn’t smother me with a pillow in my sleep.”
Tillie winks at me. “Not her style. If she’s gonna off someone, she’ll make sure to let you know she’s doing it.
I’d imagine lots of slapping, hands around the throat, maybe some hits to the ribs with a baseball bat.
You know, something obvious. Lunar doesn’t do subtle, so if she’s gonna kill you, you’ll at least see it coming. ”
“Wow! Comforting,” I reply, and Nate chuckles while shaking his head.
“Tillie, that’s not helping,” he says.
“It’s not? Damn! I was trying to be funny. Ryan, you’re not teaching me right. I’m not funny yet,” she calls out, and I burst out laughing. Her eyes open wide like she’s proud of herself. “Ha! You laughed. Mission accomplished. Tillie, one. Depressed Zaria, zero!”
Nate high-fives Tillie, and she nods proudly as Ryan walks over and smiles. “What’d I miss?”
“I made a funny, babe.”
“God, it’s about time. And I missed it? Oh well, I’m sure you’ll make me laugh on this tour for sure.”
“Challenge accepted.”
“You two are strange,” I say with a laugh, glancing between them as they both nod, clearly reveling in their little world of inside jokes.
“Yeah, we’re in our own little bubble of awesomeness,” Ryan says, pulling Tillie to him and kissing her head.
It’s sweet and tender and tells me everything I need to know about them as a couple.
Nate reaches out, grabbing my hand as another car pulls up. Danger steps out and opens the trunk while Lunar slides out, fussing about her hair.
I tense up immediately.
This tour is going to be awkward if we don’t get along, so I’m going to make an effort.
“Hey, guys,” Ryan calls out.
“Hey, fucker,” Lunar replies with a smirk, like she always calls him that.
Danger pulls bag after bag out of the trunk.
“Oh, if it isn’t the diva,” Lunar says, looking at me as I look at all of her luggage and can’t help but let out a stifled laugh.
“Excuse me? Have you looked at yourself?” I point to her bags without thinking, and I immediately regret it when she glares at me.
Nate squeezes my hand, and I sink back into myself.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Lunar scoffs.
“No… nothing. Sorry. Forget I said anything,” I say, remembering to play nice.
Tillie huffs as Lunar flicks her hair over her shoulders. “Lunar, do you really need all this shit? It’s a small tour bus,” Tillie asks, not so gently.
Lunar looks back at the six large bags and exhales, her body slumping slightly. “What did you guys bring?”
“One bag each,” Nate says.
She slumps even further and winces. “Oh… shit, fuck! Now I’m the diva, aren’t I?”
Everyone besides me smiles as she pouts, looking at Danger, who’s chuckling. “Told ya, babe.”
“But two bags are my foundation shit.”
“You have two bags just for makeup?”
She gives me an actual smile. “No, my charity work.”
“Oh…” I glance up at Nate, and he smiles down at me.
“Okay, I’ll take three bags, half the load. Is that okay, Tillie?”
Tillie laughs and nods.
“There’s gotta be a joke in there about half a load, right, Tillie?” Ryan asks.
Tillie slaps his chest and rolls her eyes as Lunar steps up to her bags to cull them.
I turn to Nate, and he smiles at me. “Is it just me, or did we kind of have a little bit of a halfway decent conversation then?”
“Not sure I’d class it as a conversation, but it was better than it has been.”
I lean up on my toes and kiss him as another car pulls up. Matt steps out, whistling at us as I let out a soft laugh against Nate’s lips, pulling back slightly.
“If you get us confused on tour, Zaria… I won’t hold it against you if I can hold you against me,” Matt calls out.
Nate rolls his eyes and flips his brother the bird.
“Plus, I’m better looking,” Matt adds.
I can’t help but laugh while Nate groans.
“That’s my line, douche,” Nate calls back to his brother.
“Yeah, but it’s not true when you say it.”
I laugh again, and Nate pokes me in the ribs, making me jump on the spot.
“Hey, you, don’t side with the evil twin.”
I grin. “Never, only you.”
He smiles, leaning down to kiss me gently, and my fingers thread through his hair.
Just then, exaggerated slobbering noises sound beside us. We break apart to find Ryan passionately ‘French kissing’ his own hand with dramatic flair. I can’t help it—I burst out laughing as he catches my eye and smirks, clearly pleased with his flamboyant performance.
“That’s what you guys look like… kissing fiends, slobbering maniacs, horn dogs… it’s gross. Get a fucking room.” He smiles so wide it’s contagious.
“You and Tillie are much worse,” Nate defends.
“Oh, I know. It’s such a turn-on, isn’t it?” He slaps Nate’s head and runs off in the opposite direction. He’s full of energy, and compared to how he used to look when Recoil was first on the scene, he’s toned up well and looking great. Plus, he’s super cute.
I have to admit, the whole band is hot, but Nate captivated me right from the start. It was his eyes and the deep, somber tone to them, the longing, the need to find somewhere to belong.
I know that look.
I see it in the mirror every day.
It’s why I was drawn to him.
I see myself in him.
We’ve both had troubled upbringings that have led us to a star-studded life. But just because we’re famous doesn’t mean we’re fulfilled. Nate has his art, which he needs to pursue, and he will do so with my help.
And me? Teaching Nate has given me a sense of purpose I didn’t know I was missing.
It reminds me of when my dad taught me how to read and write—those are some of my best memories.
Giving that same gift to someone else has always been a dream of mine.
But I guess I have to play my life out as it goes, even if I have no idea where it’s headed anymore.
A sudden blaring of a horn rattles me from my thoughts.
Oliver is waving from a bus being driven onto the lot.
On the side of the bus is a picture of Danger and me up against the window from the set.
It’s lovely and the band’s logo is next to us.
Then a picture of all the guys is next to that.
It’s a real tour bus, and this is all pretty fucking exciting and so different than what I’ve been used to.
The doors open, and Oliver steps off with the biggest of grins. “Ladies and gentlemen, your carriage awaits.”
We load our luggage and have a look around.
Up front, there’s a section with seats and tables arranged more like a lounge than a typical bus.
It actually reminds me of the jets I’m used to—more like a boardroom than anything.
Past a dividing section, there are bathrooms. Toward the back are the sleeping quarters, with six beds stacked in bunks, three on each side.
They’re a bit smaller than queen-sized beds, and while there isn’t much headroom between each bunk, it sure beats sleeping in a chair.
“Dibs on the top bunk,” Ryan calls out, and Tillie groans.
“Ryan, think of me in this, will you? I don’t wanna climb up the top all the time.”
“Middle bunk?” Ryan counters.
“Fine! middle bunk.” She huffs out a groan.
Ryan grins and claims the middle bunk on the left.
We grab the bottom bunk below them and Matt the top.
Oliver takes the middle right, while Lunar and Danger take the bottom, leaving the top for the driver or whoever needs it when we’re at stops.
Another bus following has our security detail on board, and they will follow us everywhere we go.
After we settle in, we head off for the first stop on our two-to-three-month tour.
***
We arrive in Tucson, Arizona, for a radio interview.
It’s going to be the first interview with Danger and me together, and I’m sure we’ll have to play up our friendship more than it really is.
But that’s okay. Maybe I’ll get to know him a little better on this tour, and by the end, we won’t have to fake our friendship quite so much.
The bus pulls up at the WARI Studio, and a small crowd waits by the studio door. I figure they’re all here for Recoil, and it’s kind of nice to not be the center of attention for once. Even though I know some fans will be here to see me, the majority are here for the boys.
“Okay, can I have your attention, please?” Oliver calls out.
“We’re going to head in and do this interview.
Then, from here, we’re heading back on the road to Dallas.
So you guys can get some rest after this because it’s a bit of a drive.
” He points to the door. “Okay, let’s go.
” He claps his hands, and we all get up and head out.