Chapter 13
Keaton
When I woke up, Rowan was already sitting on the edge of the bed, shoving stuff into his gym bag. Morning light pushed through the gap in the curtains, and for a second, I just watched him. His shoulders were tense beneath his shirt, his focus fixed on what he’d already packed.
“I can feel you staring,” he said, zipping his duffel.
“You should be used to it by now.”
He turned to me, a playful smirk on his lips. “Considering I wasn’t sure we’d ever make it to this point, I won’t take it for granted.”
Neither of us was really the sappy type, but every once in a while, he said something that slipped past my defenses. And since my emotions were already all over the place, that one got to me.
I pushed myself upright and kissed his neck. “What time is Josh picking you up?”
“He’ll be here at eight-thirty.”
I glanced at the clock and saw he had only five minutes before he had to leave. “You should eat first.”
“I already did.”
My brow furrowed. “When?”
“When you were impossible to wake up despite me trying multiple times.”
“I blame you and what you did to me last night.”
“You’re welcome.” He winked.
“You’re entirely too proud of yourself.” I walked over to my suitcase and pulled on a pair of boxers. “So, are you ready for this morning?”
He nodded. “I think so, even if it’s a little intimidating knowing Dante Rivas is going to be working with me.”
“Just remember, Grant wouldn’t have invited you here if he didn’t think you could hang with the big guys.”
“Thanks.” Rowan stood and lifted his bag onto his shoulder. “You sure you’re good staying here?”
“I’m a grown man. I can entertain myself while you’re gone.”
His gaze searched my face like he was trying to decide whether to believe me. I hated that no matter how supportive I tried to be, he could tell I was struggling with the decisions we were going to have to make soon.
“I mean it. Go train, impress the Florida people, and try not to fall for Dante Rivas,” I teased.
Rowan barked out a laugh. “Jealous?”
“Of Dante? Absolutely. There’s a reason his videos get a ton of views, and it’s not all about his MMA skills.”
“He’s not my type.”
“Good answer.” I grinned.
He reached out and squeezed my hand. “I’ll text you when I’m on my way back.”
“Try not to let Rivas kill you.”
“No promises.”
He leaned down and kissed me quickly.
“But if I manage to survive, I was thinking we could hit up one of the beaches and then grab some food after.”
“Sounds good to me.” I kissed him once more.
The second he was gone, the hotel room felt way too quiet. I turned on the TV mostly for background noise and tried not to think too hard about the future. Tried being the keyword.
By ten-thirty, I’d already scrolled through The Loop and my other social media accounts because I was bored out of my mind.
My phone buzzed in my hand, and I saw a message from my man:
Still alive. Barely
Did Rivas work you over good?
He tried but I managed to catch him with a sweep and knocked him on his ass once
I’m sure that impressed everyone
The typing bubble appeared, disappeared, then appeared again.
Coach Isaac is calling us back to the mats
I stared at the message for another second before pulling up Mason’s contact info. He knew what we were doing in Florida, and I figured he could lift me out of my funk.
The call rang twice before he answered it. “If you’re calling to ask whether I fed your fish while you’re away, the answer’s no because you don’t own any fish.”
I chuckled. “Good morning to you too.”
“It’s barely eight here. This is criminal.”
“You’re awake.”
“Unfortunately.”
“You getting ready to head to Titan?” I wondered.
“Duh. Why do you sound so weird?”
Damn, he could even pick up on shit over the phone.
I leaned back against the hotel pillows, looking toward the ceiling. “Rowan’s at Atlantic Combat.”
“I thought you guys were going to check out the place yesterday?”
“We did. They invited him back to work out with Dante Rivas.”
Mason let out a low whistle. “Holy shit. The Dante Rivas?”
“Yeah.”
Silence settled briefly between us before Mason asked, “So what’s wrong?”
“If Atlantic Combat sucked, this would be easy.”
“But it doesn’t suck.”
“Nope. The gym is hella cool.”
“And you think he’s going to move?”
I closed my eyes. “Yep.”
“Fuck.”
“Exactly.”
I heard him move around what I assumed was the kitchen, based on the sound of pots and pans jostling around.
“You know what the worst part is?” I asked.
“What?”
“I already know how this story goes. Guys leave gyms all the time. They chase better opportunities, everybody pretends to be supportive, and then they never see each other again.”
“But you guys are dating. You don’t really think that’s going to happen, do you?”
I shrugged, even though he couldn’t see me. “I think we’re both pretending it’ll be easy to navigate.”
I loved Rowan, and I knew he loved me. But would love be enough if we ended up living on opposite sides of the country?
“You haven’t even been together that long this time,” Mason pointed out.
“Trust me, I know.”
“But it’s serious, right?”
“It is.”
“More serious than before?”
“Yes,” I admitted. “Because this time we actually know what losing each other feels like.”
The line went quiet for a second, then Mason sighed. “That’s rough.”
“Insightful.”
“Fuck you.”
A small grin pulled at my lips as I looked up at the ceiling.
“You want my opinion?” he asked.
“Not particularly.”
“Then why did you call me?”
I rubbed a hand over my face. “Fine. Go ahead.”
“I think you’re getting ahead of yourself.”
“How?”
“You’re already anticipating problems that don’t exist yet.”
I frowned.
Mason continued before I could argue. “Look, long-distance sounds awful to me personally because I’m needy and hot, and if I eventually find someone, I’m going to want their attention at all times, but people make it work.”
“That might be the most narcissistic piece of advice anyone’s ever given me.”
“You’re welcome.”
A laugh slipped out, then faded again. I knew he was trying to help. “I just don’t know what to do,” I finally admitted.
“You know, for someone who talks as much shit as you do, you’re really bad at being confident about what actually matters.”
“That’s supposed to be advice?”
“No. Just an observation.”
“Thanks. Super helpful.”
“You called me before coffee. This is the level of emotional support you get.”
“I don’t want to be the guy who makes him feel bad about taking the opportunity,” I said.
“Then don’t.”
I pushed up on the bed to sit. “I’m trying.”
“I know you are.”
“But I hate that trying doesn’t change how I feel.”
“Feelings are inconvenient as fuck. One star. Would not recommend.”
That got another smile out of me, but the ache stayed.
The truth was, I could be supportive of Rowan and terrified at the same time.
I could want him to get everything he deserved and still hate that those opportunities might take him across the country.
I could trust him and still be scared that distance would expose all the cracks we hadn’t figured out how to fix yet.
Another notification came through on my phone, and I pulled it from my ear to see who it was from.
Rowan
On my way back
“Rowan’s headed back to the hotel, so I should get dressed. We’re supposed to go out.”
Mason snorted. “You talking to me naked, Stafford?”
“I’m wearing shorts. Don’t make things awkward.”
“Too late. It’s part of my charm.”
We said our goodbyes and then hung up, and ten minutes later, Rowan walked in.
“Hey, baby,” he greeted, then came over to give me a kiss.
“Hey. How’d it go?”
“Good.” He dragged a hand through his sweaty hair. “Really good, actually.”
“I’m glad it went well.” That was mostly the truth.
“I got you a gift.” He pulled something from his bag and handed it over. It was a black Atlantic Combat hoodie.
I stared at it. “Absolutely not.”
He grinned. “What? They gave it to me for free.”
“I can’t wear this.” I held it up between us. “I’m loyal to my gym.”
The smile slipped from his face, and I immediately wished I could take the joke back. Titan wasn’t just a gym anymore. It was a place with memories he’d rather forget, and sooner or later, we were going to need to reconcile that since I’d still be training there.
“Forget I said that. Do you have a plan for where you want to go?”
He nodded. “Josh said Clearwater Beach is about thirty minutes away and offered to drive us there.”
“Sounds good to me.”
“He also recommended a crab place for dinner.”
“Even better,” I replied.
An hour later, we stood barefoot on warm white sand as the Gulf stretched out in front of us. Clearwater Beach looked almost fake, with blue water, a bright sky, and tourists everywhere.
Rowan walked beside me along the shoreline, carrying our shoes in one hand as waves rolled over our feet every few seconds.
Families moved around us with umbrellas and coolers, seagulls screamed overhead, and kids ran toward the water, shrieking every time the waves chased them back up the sand.
Farther down the beach, a couple posed for pictures with the blue swells behind them.
The relaxed beach vibes made everything between Rowan and me feel even more strained. We weren’t there for a vacation. We were walking on a beach pretending it was a regular afternoon while the future of our relationship waited on a decision neither of us was ready for him to make.
Eventually, Rowan bumped his shoulder lightly into mine. “You gonna ask?”
“I figured you’d tell me when you wanted to.”
“I got my ass kicked today.”
That forced a laugh out of me. “By Dante?”
“And everybody else.”
I glanced at him. He looked calmer than he had that morning.
“Everyone knows what they’re doing,” he added.
“Well, that’s good. It would suck if they were shit.”
“Yeah, it would.” He chuckled.
We kept walking, and a wave crashed against our legs, soaking the hem of my shorts.
“I worked with Dante for almost an hour,” he said after a moment. “Coach Isaac was right. They chain everything together differently there.”
“You liked it.” It wasn’t a question.
“Yeah.”
I stared out toward the water. Rowan loved figuring things out.
He loved structure, systems, and anything that pushed him harder than he thought he could go.
Atlantic wasn’t just offering him training.
It was offering him exactly what he needed, and I couldn’t even be mad about it because I saw it too.
“You’re doing that thing again.” He stopped walking, forcing me to stop as well. The water rushed over our feet, then pulled back, dragging sand from beneath my toes.
“What thing?”
“Trying to look okay.”
“I am okay.”
“No, you’re being supportive.”
“Can’t those be the same thing?”
“Sure,” he agreed. “Are they for you?”
I looked away toward the horizon, where the water met the sky. “I don’t know.”
Rowan grabbed my hand. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
“That’s the problem. You’re not doing anything wrong.” I hated the guilt that crossed his face. Hated that I’d put it there even as I was doing everything I could not to. “This is a good opportunity, and it’s exactly what you should be pursuing.”
“Do you really mean that?”
“Yes. I mean it.”
He stayed quiet beside me for a second before finally asking, “Even if it changes everything?”
The question hurt because the answer was yes. It would change everything, and there was no point pretending otherwise now. “Yeah, even then.”
Rowan glanced out toward the water, his grip tightening slightly around our joined hands. Families moved around us as the breeze carried the scent of salt and sunscreen through the air.
“I made a decision,” he said at last.
There it was, simple and direct. My heart sank, even though I’d known it was coming. I forced myself to keep my expression steady. “Okay.”
“I’m signing with Grant and moving to Florida.”
It was what I’d been expecting, but hearing him say it out loud made it real. The ocean suddenly sounded louder, or maybe everything inside my head went quiet for a second. I looked down at the water rolling around our ankles and breathed out through my nose. “When?”
“Soon,” he replied. “Grant wants to get the contracts figured out, but that shouldn’t take long. We’re looking at a couple of weeks.”
I nodded. A couple of weeks wasn’t long at all.
Rowan stepped a little closer beside me. “Say something.”
I turned fully toward him. “I’m proud of you.”
“Keaton—”
“No.” I shook my head before he could apologize for something he didn’t need to. “Don’t do that.”
“I know this is hard for both of us.”
“It is.” I smiled despite myself. “Turns out, falling in love with another fighter comes with some logistical issues.”
He laughed a little at that. God, I loved that sound.
“I’m still scared,” I admitted after a second. “I think we both are. But that doesn’t change the fact that this is huge for you.”
He stared at me for a long moment before reaching up and sliding his hand around the back of my neck. “I love you.”
I leaned forward and kissed him in the middle of the beach, trying my best to believe things were going to work out just fine while I couldn’t stop thinking about how easy it would be to lose him again.