46
SHIVANI
As I stand in front of the mirror, adjusting my dress for the umpteenth time, I can’t help but feel a mix of excitement and nervousness swirling inside me.
Simbu rubs his head against my leg as if trying to calm his nerves.
I look at the small bundle of fur and almost get another cuteness attack urge, but I refrain from doing so.
I named him Simba, but everyone calls him Simbu lovingly, and the name grew on him.
Now he only responds to that. I only use Simba if I have to scold him for something, like when he knocks down things, because he loves doing that.
Today is the day I’ve been dreaming about for years.
My book—my labor of love—is finally complete after all the tears, sleepless nights, and, of course, imposter syndrome to the point where I wanted to erase everything.
I’m meeting with publishers to finalize it. It doesn’t feel real yet. But it is.
"You look absolutely gorgeous," Rudra comments, coming up behind me and wrapping his arms around my waist. He plants a kiss on my neck, sending a shiver down my spine.
"Thank you," I murmur, looking at our reflection in the mirror. My eyes flick to his—steady, warm, filled with pride—and I feel a lump form in my throat. "But I’m so nervous. What if they don’t like it?"
"You’re going to be amazing," he assures me, his voice calm and comforting. "Don’t stress. Face your fears, and show them what you’ve got. You can do it, baby."
"You want me to come with you?" He asks, kissing my neck again. I sigh, tilting my head to give him more access, his lips like a balm on my skin.
"No," I rasp, trying to stay focused even as his touch makes that difficult. I can feel his breath against my neck, the pressure of his chest pressed against my back. It’s comforting. Familiar. "I have to do this on my own," I say softly.
"That’s my girl." He kisses my cheek, his words sinking into me, steadying me. A flutter of nerves and pride rises in my chest. I smile at him, suddenly feeling a little less anxious.
"I’ve come so far, haven’t I?" I whisper, almost to myself.
He looks at me, eyes softening. "You have. And I’m so proud of you."
I turn around, facing him. "Thank you," I murmur, wrapping my arms around him, burying my face into his chest. His scent, the steady beat of his heart—it’s so peaceful. "I don’t think I would’ve gotten this far without you," I whisper, overwhelmed by the sudden things.
"Nope," he says, lips brushing my temple. "You’re strong. You would’ve figured something out." He doesn’t understand. He doesn’t know just how much I needed him, how much I needed this family to break free. To even understand the true meaning of freedom.
"Do you think I’ll be able to take it if they reject my book?" I ask, dreading even the possibility. My biggest fear right now, it feels like it’s crawling up my spine.
He takes my hand in his, squeezing it gently.
"You’ve poured your heart and soul into this book.
That passion and dedication will shine through.
Believe in yourself, sweetheart." Then he adds, "And at least you’re trying, darling. I’m so proud of you for that.
" I smile at him. His words settle over me like a warm blanket, quieting some of the chaos inside my mind.
I take a deep breath, absorbing Rudra’s warmth and support like it’s oxygen. His presence is my anchor in the sea of my swirling emotions.
"Alright," I say, pulling back, giving him a determined smile. "Time to go."
Rudra watches me with affection in his eyes as I grab my bag and head to the living room.
My family is already there, their faces lighting up as soon as they see me.
"Shivani, come here, beta," Dadaji calls, eyes twinkling with pride.
I walk over, and he places his hand on my head in blessing. "All the best."
I try not to laugh nervously. If they ever find out about the content of the book, they’re going to be so embarrassed realizing this is what they gave their blessings for. I feel heat creep up my neck.
Maa pulls me into a tight hug and feeds me dahi-chini for good luck, the same way she always does with Rudra before he goes for something important. Papa pats my back with a smile.
"You’re going to nail it. Don’t take tension, okay?"
I nod, offering a soft smile in return.
Chachi steps forward, smiling warmly. "Here, keep this with you. It’s my good luck charm." She presses a small blue gemstone into my palm, and I accept it gratefully. My eyes sting unexpectedly. I can’t believe they’ve all gathered here to wish me luck. I’m so lucky to have in-laws like this.
"Now don’t cry," Papa says. "If you cry, your maa will also cry, and then it’ll take me hours to calm her down!" I laugh softly, blinking away the tears that were threatening to spill.
Aarav runs up to me, practically vibrating with excitement. "You’ll blow their minds, okay? Just take deep breaths and remember all the tips I gave you!"
I nod, and he gives me a confident thumbs-up.
Aditi is right behind him. "All the best, bhabhi!" she says, pulling me into a hug. "I’m going to be your first reader."
"Too bad. I’ve already read her book," Rudra chimes in, coming downstairs. Aditi sticks out her tongue at him, and I giggle, overwhelmed with gratitude for this family I now call mine.
"Come on, Shivani. I’ll drop you," Rudra calls, offering his hand, and I take it.
In the car, I try to focus on the cityscape passing by, but my thoughts are all over the place. My stomach is in knots. I chew on my bottom lip, unable to stop the questions in my head.
I feel Rudra’s hand rest on my thigh, his thumb drawing slow, reassuring circles. It’s comforting—but the anxiety won’t fade. "I’m not really good with conversations. What if I go blank?" I ask, staring straight ahead.
He squeezes my thigh gently. "It’s okay to be nervous.
But don’t underestimate yourself. You’re smart.
You’ve prepared for this. Just take it one step at a time.
And remember, you don’t need a script. They want to hear about your book—not a perfect speech.
" I nod, even though the knot in my chest refuses to loosen.
The car halts in front of the building. My heart pounds. I stare at the glass doors, feeling my legs go weak.
Rudra takes off my seatbelt and holds my hand. "I love you," I say, needing him to know that—right now, more than ever. He kisses my temple and pecks my lips. I smile nervously and give him a thumbs-up.
He chuckles softly. I step out, nerves buzzing under my skin.
As I walk to the entrance, I glance back.
Rudra’s still sitting in the car, watching me.
He waves. He’s so cute. Not that he’d like hearing that.
Okay, Shivani. You can do this. They’re just humans.
They won’t eat you. The receptionist leads me to a conference room.
I take a deep breath and walk in, greeted by a group of editors who smile as I enter.
"Shivani, welcome! Please, have a seat," one of them greets me warmly. The tension in my shoulders eases, but it comes back again. I inhale deeply before moving to my designated seat.
"Thank you," I say, taking the seat offered and handing over my manuscript. My hands tremble slightly.
"We’ve already read the summary you emailed, along with the first five chapters we requested." They exchange glances. I can’t read their expressions, and my heart thunders so hard, I’m half convinced they can hear it too. "Overall, Shivani, we’re really impressed with your work."
Everything around me goes still. My brain blanks for a second. In a good way, I guess, because they’re… impressed? With my work?
"Thank you," I breathe, a smile breaking across my face. "That means so much to me."
"We’d like you to meet with our boss to finalize the plan for your book launch and talk about the next steps."
My stomach flips. The boss? This is getting too real, too fast. I nod mutely as they guide me to another office. But as the door opens, I freeze.
Sitting behind the desk is Rudra, looking completely at ease.
"Rudraksh?" My voice is barely a whisper. "What are you doing here?"
He stands up, rounding the desk. "Hi, baby, I wanted to surprise you. I just bought the company." My heart sinks. All my happiness vanishes into thin air.
"You bought the company?" I stare at him. "Are you mad? Why would you buy a publishing house? You’re not even interested in books!" My voice trembles. "Did you… did you do it for me?" Disappointment crashes over me like a wave.
"Rudra," I whisper, tears stinging my eyes, "I wanted to do this on my own. I wanted to prove my worth without your help." His gaze softens. He reaches for my hand, but I pull back.
"Why?" My voice cracks. "Why did you feel the need to interfere? I wanted to prove myself. My worth. Not as your wife—but as a writer."
"Hey, shh, shh," he says gently, pulling me into a hug, but I resist. "Shivani, listen to me. The editors didn’t know you were my wife. They loved your book. They did their jobs honestly." I blink up at him, confused.
"This company technically isn’t mine yet," he explains, scratching the back of his head. "I’m still in talks with the board. I just… when I saw how nervous and anxious you were, I couldn’t sit back and watch you struggle."
He gives me a sheepish smile.
"So…" I sniff. "You’re saying I did it on my own? They actually liked my book?" He nods, wiping my cheeks.
A smile breaks across my face. Relief, pride, disbelief—everything hits me at once. I squeal and jump into his arms, laughing through the tears. He laughs too, holding me tightly.
"Thank you for believing in me when even I didn’t," I say, breathing him in.
"Always, baby." He presses his lips to mine, and I melt.
"You’re mad, you know," I say, trying to sound serious, breathless from both the kiss and the whirlwind of emotions. "You didn’t have to buy an entire company just because I was anxious."
"Hey, I was just trying to be romantic!" He exclaims, mock defending himself.
"You’re unbelievable," I whisper, resting my forehead against his.
"And you’re unstoppable," he replies, his voice full of admiration.
And at this moment, I might believe him. I am really proud of myself.