Chapter 2
Chapter Two
Hazel
I really didn’t need any of my current courses to know there had to be something seriously wrong with me. All I had to do was sense his gaze on me and I could feel my face flushing and every cell in my body tingling. How could I want him so badly and yet fear that desire just as much?
It’s not the desire you fear, it’s—
“Are you with us?”
Huh?
“Haze…”
The whisper sounded like a shout and had me practically falling out of my chair as I whipped around.
“Whoa,” Vince said, his hands up, palms out. “Sorry, Hazel, I didn’t mean to scare you, I was just letting you know she’s speaking to you.” He tilted his head toward the front of the room.”
I felt the blood that had drained from my face returning in a rush and was sure everyone in the room was now aware that I’d not been paying attention. The look on Vince’s face made me feel about an inch tall. “Sorry I overreacted. You just startled me.”
“You sure you’re okay?”
That was one thing about my classmates. No matter what weird thing was said or when an unexpected reaction happened, there wasn’t a single person in this room who’d judge.
“Yes, thanks.”
“No problem… well, at least not with me,” he said, his eyes shifting from mine to look over my shoulder.
Right, I wasn’t there, I was in class. A class where it was now even more obvious my inattention had been noticed and so not in a good way.
Taking a deep breath, I turned back to face the music, or rather the woman standing in front of the room.
“I’m sorry, Professor Berringer, um, did you say something? ” Good grief, could I sound any lamer?
Of course she’d “said something”. I was attending her lecture at Rawhide University. Duh.
Professors were pretty much the same in all universities unless, of course, the campus was smack dab in the middle of a Ranch known not only for its kink, but pretty much famous for its beliefs on discipline.
And believe me, those beliefs went far beyond sitting through some boring lecture about one’s lack of attention.
If it wasn’t for the fact that this particular professor was not only a Little outside of the university, but currently a pregnant Little, and hence a patient at the clinic, I was pretty sure my attention would be focused on the condition of my ass and my ability to sit comfortably, rather than my sorry excuse of a love life.
“I was asking if you’re with us or were we so boring you tuned out completely?”
Wow! Who is that asking and what had they done with the sweet woman who normally taught biology?
Thank God I had enough sense not to actually say that out loud.
“No, ma’am. I mean, no you’re not boring me, I-I’m just…
” Just making an even bigger fool out of myself.
Forcing myself to take a deep breath, I straightened in my seat and actually met her gaze.
“I apologize and promise not to zone out again.”
She took her time to respond, her gaze boring into mine as if trying to determine how sincerely she could take that promise.
Finally, she gave the slightest nod. “I hope you don’t because I hate to think of you falling further behind.
Everything we are covering will be on the final before the holiday break. ”
“I swear I’ll pay attention to every word you say!”
A slight twitch of her lips told me perhaps I’d said that a tad bit too enthusiastically. “See that you do.” She turned back to the board and then back to me. “Oh, and please, stop at my desk on your way out.”
It took every ounce of strength in me to remain upright when I really wanted to slowly slip to the floor in a puddle of sorrowful goo. “Yes, Ma’am.”
Though I kept my promise and focused on the remainder of the lesson, if asked what had been covered, I’d have been completely incapable of answering.
With the bell, my classmates began to gather up their items while I ever so slowly pulled my bag from the floor to my lap in order to put my books inside.
“Don’t worry, I’ll share my notes,” Vince assured me with a smile. “And if you need to talk, you know, after… I’ll be in the café and will not only give you an ear, I’ll buy you a coffee and a cookie.”
“Thanks, Vince.” He was a nice guy and I was sure his offer was heartfelt, but there were some things better left in the dark.
Besides, I needed to remember that I was a grown woman and not a middle school kid being sent to the principal’s office.
I finished packing up my stuff and as the last student filed out, I slipped out of my chair and approached the desk at the front of the room.
“I really am sorry, Brooke,” I said, wanting her to know I was sincere.
“I believe you, Hazel. You’re not one to drift off so I’m a little concerned that today isn’t the first time. While you’ve not missed a class, you’ve been rather absent lately. What’s going on? Is there something I can help you with?”
I could feel tears welling but forced them down.
Not only was this woman a friend of mine and one of the kindest souls I’d ever met, she was the sister-in-law of the very person that I feared I was about to lose.
No way was I going to heave my pitiful problems off on her.
Friend or not, she had far more important things to deal with, like preparing for a baby to enter her life.
“Thank you for the offer, but I’m fine. I really have no excuse. And I promise, you’re not the least bit boring. In fact, this is one of my favorite subjects.”
She smiled, her head tilting slightly to the side. “I’m glad to hear that seeing as you’re studying for your nursing degree. It would be rather a shame if the sciences didn’t excite you at least a teeny bit, don’t you think?”
I was finally able to give a real smile and felt the tears evaporating before they fell. “Definitely, and my future patients might not trust me if I didn’t know the difference between a gene and a pair of Wranglers.”
For some reason that had her eyebrows lifting. Not in that oh you’re in so much trouble way Dominants were quite famous for, but in a way that said did I actually hear you say that, which made me feel a trifle bit stupid. “I mean, how human cells deal with DNA and—”
She laughed and shook her head. “I know what you mean. But I do want you to know that I’m here if you want to talk about anything and that includes subjects beyond biology.
And to remind you that while I’m your teacher inside these walls, outside of them I’m your friend, so if you’d like to debate a bit over how exploring chemistry is far more fun outside of the lab then in a hood, I’m all yours. ”
I knew she was trying to convey something without actually saying it but I had no intention of taking her up on her offer, no matter how sincere I thought she was.
“Thanks, I’ll keep that in mind, and again, I really am sorry.”
“So am I,” she said giving a little sigh. I was halfway to the door when she called, “Oh, wait, you’ll need this.”
Turning back, I groaned. “Seriously?”
Brooke’s head bobbed and she gave her hand a little wave as if to emphasize her intentions.
Or perhaps to draw my focus on what she was holding.
It was a card and not one with a colorful front with fancy script wishing me good luck or congratulating me on some achievement.
I wouldn’t find a silly birthday greeting either.
Nope, this card’s content always covered one subject and just one subject only.
And seeing as I didn’t have a Dominant or a Daddy of my own, I knew exactly where that innocent 3 x 5 card was going to lead me.
There might not be a principal at Rawhide University, but that didn’t mean students had nothing to dread.
Not with the generosity of the one and only Master Derek Hawkins.
Nope, he’d flung his arms wide to include every single inch of the Ranch his three times great-grandfather and uncle had founded.
He’d made it absolutely clear that his view on behavior, or rather misbehavior, didn’t just extend to the Littles and submissives on the resort grounds, but included every soul attending his university.
“Thanks a lot. And here I thought we were friends,” I grumped as I retraced my steps and took the card as if it were a red-hot poker rather than a cold piece of cardstock.
“You’re welcome and we are. I mean, I wouldn’t have taken a stolen pregnancy test from someone who isn’t a good friend.”
The reminder made me smile at the memory of the shock on her face when I’d pulled the tests out of a paper bag at the tea party. “Sampled, not stolen,” I countered.
“Potato, patahto.”
How a woman not much older than myself could be both sweet and scary was beyond me.
I had half a mind to remind her I was the one who made sure that the gown she put on when at the clinic was not only freshly laundered but was warmed up so it would be nice and toasty against her skin which I’m sure her baby most certainly appreciated even if she didn’t.
Get a grip, girl. It’s not like you haven’t ever been paddled before.
True enough, but still, that didn’t mean I had to get all giggly and googly-eyed over it did it?
I mean, maybe if the person on the other end of that paddle was a certain doctor that might happen, but since I’d avoided any chance of going over thighs that were hard as rocks from all that running he did, I knew I wouldn’t find Nigel waiting for me.
“Cheer up, Hazel. Look at it this way, maybe a few smacks with a paddle will get you out of your head and bring you back to us. I hope you know that you are surrounded by people who not only care for you, but most likely have gone through whatever it is that has you so sad. I’m just one of your friends and we all truly wish you the very best things life has to offer. ”