Chapter 14
Chapter Fourteen
Hazel
I’d worked at the clinic for over a year now, made friends both on the Ridge and the Ranch, enjoyed the company of Littles, submissives, and classmates, but it felt as if I was seeing everything through new eyes for some reason.
Or pulled the blinds off yours old ones perhaps?
That might explain it. Regardless, I also felt lighter and I knew that wasn’t because I was losing weight.
Not with the ever vigilant Dr. Berringer around, not to mention Mira who, being pregnant, could use the fact she was eating for two while all I could do was begin to think that perhaps adding an exercise routine to my day might not be such a bad thing after all.
“Are you sure you aren’t going to finish that?”
I rolled my eyes and passed the cookie to Mira. “I swear I don’t know where you put it.”
“In my belly, of course,” Mira said, taking a huge bite of the platter disguised as a chocolate-chip cookie. “I swear this place is my favorite spot in the entire world.”
I laughed and took a sip of my latte. “I think you said the exact same thing last week when we ate at Leroy’s Diner. And two weeks ago when we met at the coffee shop in town. And that first lunch at your house, and…”
Mira laughed. “Fine, I have lots of favorite places. Is that a crime?”
“Nope, that just makes it always fun knowing how excited you get over just about anything that’s set down before you,” I teased, easily dodging her swat.
I looked around at the display cases full of every delicious baked good and exquisite chocolates made by Angel and his wife Heaven Leigh.
“Though, I have to agree. This definitely makes my top three. Though I will say that I’m pretty sure just sitting here and inhaling feels like I’ve gained five pounds. ”
Mira’s laugh rang out, causing a few customers to look our way and smile as she licked chocolate off her fingertips.
“Girl, if anyone knows anything about gaining weight, it’s me.
I swear, if I didn’t know Nigel was a great doctor, I’d question his judgment that there isn’t a family of five currently taking up residence in here.
” She rubbed her hand over her distended belly.
I smiled at the sight which seemed to not only be instinctual to mothers-to-be but was one that was becoming really a common sight on the Ridge. “Well, if it helps, I saw the ultrasound, there really is just one baby. Maybe you should be looking at that giant of a man you married.”
She barked a laugh. “Says the girl whose man could play center for the Grizzlies.”
As I smiled, she bent forward, well as much as a pregnant woman could bend and lowered her voice. “Which reminds me, have you found it a bit difficult to, um, let’s just say ‘arrange’ oneself to fit with a second self who is over a foot taller than the first said self?”
This time it was my laugh that drew attention and when someone quipped, “I’ll have whatever those two are having,” the entire place broke out into laughter.
When I regained my composure, I shook my head. “You know, for a submissive who is supposedly helping me find mine again, you sure are rather… shall we say a bit ‘prudish’ about terminology.”
Mira waved her hand as if to brush away the very thought. “Fine, so to be more subby if you want, how often do you find your nose buried in Nigel’s belly button when he’s got you pinned beneath him doing the lovely?”
I stared at her for a full five beats before bursting out laughing again.
“The ‘lovely’? Oh my god, are you sure you aren’t British?
” At the visual her question had blooming in my head, I shook mine.
“And for your information, it’s not his navel, more like his nipples which I find quite delicious to nibble on during all that lovely shagging. ”
“Don’t let me interrupt. I just wanted to stop by and say thanks.”
The words had us both wiping our eyes on napkins and looking up to find Heaven Leigh standing there with a huge smile on her face.
“For what?” Mira asked.
“For providing such enjoyment that customers felt the need to double their orders. Oh, and Angel said these are on him.” She held out a bag and Mira actually grabbed it as if it were a lifeline and she was drowning at sea.
“Wow, you almost lost a finger,” I said to Heaven Leigh who just giggled.
“Isn’t it fun to watch though?”
“It is,” I said and when she handed me the second bag, I wisely just slid it across the table to my friend.
As we walked out of Angel’s Heavenly Bakery and Chocolate Shoppe, Mira already had dipped a hand into the first bag and was nibbling on a truffle.
But that didn’t stop her from becoming far more serious as we began the walk back to the clinic.
“So, where are you on the scale of ready to share all the details of ‘that night’ with Nigel?”
I didn’t answer for several steps. Not because I resented the question.
Hell, I’d learned fast that Mira didn’t particularly care about resentment.
She’d explained that she’d spent far too long not talking about the things that truly mattered to waste any more time resenting questions when they came from people who loved her.
She pretty much felt the same way about asking those questions herself when she loved someone who seemed determined to think it best to leave her in the dark.
“Closer,” I admitted finally. “I think I’m almost convinced that it won’t make him think I… well, you know…”
“No, I don’t know,” she said, not giving me an inch.
“That’s the problem, Hazel. No one knows.
Oh, they can think they do. We can all imagine what happened to someone, can juxtapose our feelings and even our demons on someone else’s experiences, but not a single one of us can know until you tell the story.
And, though I know how much easier it is to simply sweep it under the bed or hope it just goes away, it won’t.
Whatever it was not only happened but has affected you for years.
You’ll carry a part of it with you for the rest of your life.
The only question you need answer is how much and how long are you going to carry it alone? ”
I sighed as we continued to walk, or rather I walked and she did that fascinating wobble that women adopted when carrying weight that threw them a bit off balance. “Gimme one,” I demanded, gesturing with my fingers. “If I’m going to deal with shit, I’m going to need something sweet in exchange.”
She held out the white bag and I stuck my hand inside and withdrew a chocolate. “Any clue what flavor this is?” I asked, holding it up.
“Nope, and does it matter? It’s going to be delicious.”
True.
I bit into the candy and almost swooned. “That man’s name may be Angel but he makes one hell of a devilishly good chocolate.”
“That doesn’t mean I’m giving you back your bag,” Mira said, twisting a bit to the side as if I was actually going to grab it from her other hand.
I needed the laugh that little move caused as much as I needed the dark chocolate presently melting on my tongue. Once it was gone, we’d almost reached the clinic where she’d left her car. “Remember how I told you we were taking baby steps?”
She nodded. “I do.”
“Well, tonight will be more like we’re playing leap frog. We’re going to the Dungeon for the first time.”
Her eyebrows lifted. “How does that make you feel?”
“Scared,” I admitted and then added, “and a bit worried that I won’t even make it through the doors, much less have the guts to tell Nigel anything more.”
Mira nodded. “That’s perfectly okay and totally expected. And you’ve not only picked a safe word, but know you can use it at any moment and Nigel will not only respect it, he won’t feel anything but respect for you knowing what you need, correct?”
I smiled. “Yes, Dr. Lake,” I said and then laughed. “Never mind. God help me if I have to deal with yet another doctor in my life. Between Nigel, Dr. Nelson and your Wes, I’m pretty full up in that capacity.”
“That’s fine as I’d much rather be your friend,” Mira said with another soft smile.
“Well, that’s good because I’m afraid you’re stuck with me,” I said honestly. “I may have a limit on doctors, but as for friends, whether they come as Littles or Bigs, I’ll never have enough of those.”
She opened her arms and I gave her a hug, laughing when her belly got in the way.
“I know!” she lamented, rubbing her hand over it again. “But soon enough we can hug in a proper way.”
“Screw proper, I’m good with whatever,” I assured her.
“And that is why you’ll be able to take that step tonight. There’s no proper way to do it, you just have to have the strength to take it. Just remember, you’re never alone. We’re always here for you.”
And I knew she was, that so many people were. As she drove away, I thanked the universe yet again for not only bringing her into my life, but for having the couple deciding to build their home on the Ridge. With a beep of her horn, I gave a final wave and went back to work.
“Enjoy your lunch?” Nigel asked as I hung my coat up on the hook on the wall behind the desk.
“Very much.”
His eyebrow went up and it took me a moment and then I laughed. “Oh, about that chocolate I promised to bring you?”
“Yes?”
“Um, what if I said Mira ate them all? You know how pregnant women are.”
“I’d say that’s a round earned,” he said, stepping closer and lifting his hand.
Not to swat me, but to wipe his fingertip across the corner of my mouth. Pulling it away, he grinned. “For someone who was so determined to hide her DNA, I’d say she needs to remember to wipe her mouth.”
“Oh,” I said a moment before his hand slipped behind my head and his fingers closed around the nape of my neck.
“Oh indeed.” He let me watch as he licked the evidence off his fingertip and then bent to kiss me.
Turned out it didn’t matter how much taller he was, we fit together just fine.
“Keep that up and that baby boom is never going to stop,” Quincy said as he passed us on the way to his office.
I giggled and Nigel pulled back with a grin.
“Laugh now, Zellie, but tonight, your arse is mine.”
A couple of weeks ago, that statement might have made me freeze, but now it simply made my nipples harden and my panties dampen. “Yes, Master,” I said, loving the way the title made his eyes go a deep brown that made me want to sink into the warmth they promised. “Oh, and, um. Dr. Berringer?”
“Yes, Miss Waltman?” he said, leaning forward again.
“You have patients waiting.”
“Oh!”
“Oh, indeed,” I returned, stepping back and grabbing the chart for yet another pregnant woman who stood smiling ear to ear as she signed in.