Chapter 16 #2
The words, the orders came flooding back. I hesitated, but a gentle press against my hand reminded me I wasn’t in that club. I wasn’t alone. So I spoke the orders as they’d been said that night.
“Open your mouth,” Sir commanded, his voice sharp, his tone undeniably one of someone who expected instant obedience.
Once I opened my mouth, I felt him pushing something past my lips and then my teeth until I felt as if he were attempting to feed me a softball.
“Relax, it’s not like you’ve never had something in your mouth before. Open wider and stop trying to push it out with your tongue.”
I could feel a blush adding its heat to my body but stopped fighting and let him seat the ball-gag.
The click of a buckle told me he’d locked it in place with a strap that went around my head.
Rendered speechless, I couldn’t even tell him the strap was caught in strands of my hair, pulling it painfully.
I remember I almost fell, my balance off due to not being able to see as he turned me around and then lifted my arms and spread them.
I knew what he wanted and tried to find the support of the wooden beams that made up the upper section of the St. Andrew’s Cross he’d chosen as our playground for the scene.
Once he secured my ankles, I discovered he’d lied about letting me remain covered.
He cut my bra straps and pulled it off and I guess just tossed it aside. I-I never saw it again.
Part of me wished to flee but it was far too late.
I’d ignored the urge just as I had the part of my mind that had started to warn me that this wasn’t right.
I’d pushed both aside because I thought I knew better.
Told myself I needed this. Why, I wasn’t completely positive, just that I did.
I’d craved someone to take control for so long.
I’d dreamt of surrendering control to another and allowing someone stronger, someone more schooled, someone who knew exactly what a submissive needed when she couldn’t voice those needs herself.
I’d watched this man go through a couple of scenes with other women. I’d watched those women obey without question and knew that any doubts I had were simply carry overs from my prudish upbringing. So when he started, I… I just took it… until-until I-I couldn’t anymore.
I was aware of the wetness of my cheeks as well as the weight of a hand on my arm. It belonged to Cedro and when his eyes silently asked the question, I nodded and allowed myself to be drawn back against Nigel’s chest as both arms wrapped around me.
“For those of you who don’t know, before I came to the Ranch, I spent a few years in the high-end private security sector and maintained contact with a few clients.
I began to hear about a club in Butte that had some very questionable dealings.
Rumors included it being a front for criminal activity and abuse of unsuspecting clientele.
I’d gone to the club to check out the validity of those stories.
It took all of about ten seconds meeting with the owner to know the place needed to be shut down.
I was leaving when I happened to look across the floor on my way out the door. ”
His fingers squeezed my arm gently. “That’s when I saw her.
I was all the way across the room and I could tell she was in trouble.
Not a single fucking soul standing there watching seemed to care that she wasn’t enjoying what was happening, she was struggling to stay alive.
The asshole had made sure she couldn’t utter a safe word.
Hell, I doubt he’d ever even considered one necessary.
Not when he was the man in charge. He’d also made damn sure she couldn’t drop a ball or cloth as he’d given her nothing to hold and her wrists were bound to that cross as were her feet.
As for her panties, he didn’t cut them off with a knife.
Instead, he used the strap. They were in tatters, hanging on to a waistband that was a mere stroke away from splitting apart. ”
He took a breath and I lifted my eyes from where I’d dropped them in shame. The man’s history told of the things he must have seen, the experiences he must have had during his service, and yet I swore he was as shaken as I’d been. I moved my hand to place it over his.
“It’s okay, you don’t—”
“Oh, but I do,” he said instantly, turning his hand over to entwine his fingers with mine. “I have to let you know that you didn’t give up, Hazel. You didn’t surrender. You fought with every fucking thing you had available. I’m so proud of you it makes me shake.”
I was shocked. Never had I expected to hear those words. Not when I could only imagine how I must have looked, the stupidity of allowing myself to be put in that position obvious to everyone in that room.
Cedro squeezed my fingers and looked around the group. “She couldn’t speak, she couldn’t drop anything, but by god, she fought. She couldn’t claw, but she could move her fingers. She used them to flash nine fingers, followed by one finger of each hand.”
“Nine-one-one,” Sadie said softly, her voice wavering.
“Yes, over and over and over again. She was sagging in the restraints, her wrists taking her weight, but she never stopped flashing her fingers. I tore across the room screaming Red. I swear to god, I said it at least five times before anyone even turned. It was like they were all zombies in some fucking trance. I grabbed the strap and threw it halfway across the room before I dropped the asshole to the floor. I wanted to beat the living shit out of him but realized that her fingers had gone still. So I forgot him and cut her down. By then someone had the sense to say they’d call 911, and I wanted to clock him too because, fuck it, she’d been trying to get someone to do that for god only knows how long!
Anyway, I knew we didn’t have time to waste. I carried her out of the club and took her to the hospital where Wes took over.”
His part over, he turned to Wes who picked up the narrative.
“I couldn’t get any information from her but was actually relieved she was unconscious as she was torn up pretty badly.
Her wrists were abraded from the restraints and swollen from taking her weight.
Her lips were bruised from the gag and it took some effort to work the ball from her mouth.
Even the roof of her mouth had lacerations from the seams on the ball he’d used.
I can tell you, I saw red knowing he’d not even taken the time to make sure he used the right type of ball.
We took care of the blood and the open wounds, got fluids running into her and gave her sedatives to keep her still for the night. ”
He looked at me with a mixture of pride and sadness in his eyes. “That didn’t keep her silent though. She moaned and called out in her sleep all night. Did you know that, Hazel?”
I shook my head, not knowing any of this, never truly wanting the details of how I’d looked, what they’d seen, what they must have thought.
Wes cleared his throat and blinked his eyes. “Fuck, I should have told you, then, but listen to me now, Hazel. You did safeword, you kept repeating ‘red,’ over and over again all night long.”
When I felt my face heating, he shook his head, his eyes going hard.
“Don’t you dare. You don’t have a fucking thing to be ashamed of.
Every single team member who worked with me that night made it a point to tell you that you were safe, that they were proud of you.
People stayed way past their shifts simply so you’d never be alone in that room.
You asked Ced if his class would teach you how to fight.
I’m telling you that you might not have been able to kick, bite, claw and scratch that night, but Hazel, you fought like a hellcat. ”
Shocked, I had no clue what to do, what to say, but it appeared my mind and body both did. I sat up straighter and instead of a flush, I felt my lips curling. “I fought.”
“Yes, babygirl, you did,” Nigel said from behind me.
And when I burst into tears, not only were they ones of relief and not pain, I wasn’t the only one sobbing in our group.
What had started out as a tortured exposure of my darkest moments had turned into a sob fest where my friends took turns hugging me one by one and celebrating with me as the demons I’d lived with for years, were finally slayed.
It was several minutes before everyone had settled again. I felt so much lighter and yet a tug of guilt refused to release its hold. I should have known that the present company picked up on it. Derek sat forward.
“It won’t end until it’s all spoken, Hazel.”
I nodded and gave a little shrug. “It’s not anything really–”
“Your eyes say otherwise. Let it go. You’re safe here.”
“I-I just feel guilty, not because I was so na?ve, but because I never did anything about it. Yes, I know Master Cedro and Master Wes both said I fought and knowing that will help me heal, but I never did anything about trying to make sure he couldn’t hurt another woman who thought she knew what she was getting into but was as clueless as I was. ”
Derek smiled and flicked a gaze at Cedro. “I believe you should take this.”
Ced nodded. “Your abuser? Turns out you weren’t the only one. He was actually out on bail for previous charges having to do with robbery and assault. When we went to the police and reported your abuse, his bail was revoked and he was returned to jail to await trial.”
“How? I mean, I never even saw the police.”