16. Trevor
Chapter 16
Trevor
T he sharp scent of antiseptic mingles with the aroma of burnt coffee as I shuffle through the cafeteria line, my surgeon's scrubs still damp with sweat from this morning's grueling but successful operation. I grab a wilted sandwich and collapse into a plastic chair, the buzz of conversation around the cafeteria washing over me.
"You look like hell, Jacobs," a passing nurse quips.
I manage a wry smile. "Thanks for the compliment, Martinez. I feel even worse than I look."
As I take a half-hearted bite of my terrible sandwich, my mind drifts back to the OR. Vivian's face swims into focus - her pissed off eyes narrowed in concentration as she fumbled with the equipment, disrupting my rhythm and almost killing the patient. Again.
"Damn it," I mutter, running a hand through my hair.
What am I going to do about her? This can't go on. Patients' lives are at stake. I take a swig of lukewarm coffee, grimacing at the bitter taste. What I wouldn’t give for the Bean & Bagel to open with some decent coffee. Only a few more months, I hear, until it’s open again.
"Rough morning?"
I glance up to see Dr. Chen settling into the chair across from me, her kind eyes curious.
"You could say that," I sigh. "Remember that traveling nurse I mentioned?"
Dr. Chen nods, leaning in. "The ex-girlfriend?"
"That's the one. She managed to get herself assigned to my OR again today, getting in the way, dropping the entire tray of sterile instruments. I don't know how much longer I can tolerate this. Her. I had to kick her out again and get another scrub nurse to replace her. One more competent."
"Have you spoken to Administration about it yet?"
I shake my head. "Not yet. I was hoping to handle it myself, but..."
"But she's not taking the hint," Dr. Chen finishes.
"Exactly." I push my tray away, my appetite gone. "I need to figure out how to get through to her without making things worse for me or the hospital."
Dr. Chen pats my arm sympathetically. "You'll find a way, Trevor. You always do."
Once she leaves, I lean back in my chair, my mind racing with different ideas. There has got to be a solution - one that doesn't involve compromising patient care, but right now, I'm at a loss.
A familiar voice cuts through my brooding. "Well, well, if it isn't the man of the hour. Looking chipper today, my friend."
I look up to see Parker sliding into the seat across from me where Dr. Chen had just vacated, a grin playing on his lips. His warm brown eyes dance with amusement.
"Chipper? After that debacle this morning in the OR?" I scoff but can't help returning his smile. "I’m anything, but chipper. You're just delusional."
Parker leans in, lowering his voice conspiratorially. "Oh, come on. You saved the patient, didn’t you? And you can't fool me. There's been something different about you lately. Or is it a certain someone ?"
I feel heat creep up my neck. "I have no idea what you're talking about."
"Sure you don't," he chuckles. "It wouldn't have anything to do with a certain librarian, would it?"
I'm about to retort when our pagers suddenly blare to life, cutting through the cafeteria chatter. My heart rate spikes as I read the message.
"Multi-car pileup on the highway," I say, locking eyes with Parker. "Multiple rescue trucks incoming."
“Let’s go.” Parker says as we're on our feet in an instant, all traces of lightheartedness and our conversation gone.
We sprint towards the ER, adrenaline surging through my veins. This is what I live for – the rush, the challenge, the chance to make a difference. Some call it being an adrenaline junkie – I just call it my call of duty.
Dodging nurses, patients, visitors, and orderlies, Parker and I fly down the stairs, clearing three flights in record time and cross through the x-ray department approaching the emergency room doors.
"You ready for this?" Parker calls as we burst into the ER, instantly surrounded by chaos.
I nod, my mind already shifting into trauma mode. "Born ready."
Hours later, I stumble out of the OR, my body exhausted with the exertion of multiple surgeries today. I’ve been on my feet most of the day, but despite the exhaustion, there's a familiar surge of satisfaction coursing through me. We saved lives today. A lot of lives and every grueling minute was worth it. Today is the type of day a trauma surgeon lives for. One where you fight the Grim Reaper and win.
I’m making my way down the quiet hallway to finally go home for the day, my thoughts drift to Brooke and I wonder what her day has been like. I had to cancel dinner tonight with her, but of course she understood.
For the first time in years, I feel a desire to share every aspect of my life with someone…with her. Not just the polished, presentable parts, but all of it – the long hours, the adrenaline rush, even the crushing defeats. Beyond that, I want her to know about my passion for music, my love for my old Mustang...just everything .
I push through the doors to the parking lot, the cool night air a welcomed relief. That's when I hear her and my stomach drops. I just don’t have the energy to deal with her right now.
"Trevor!" Vivian's voice cuts through the darkness, sharp and angry.
I turn to see her striding towards me, her face twisted in fury as her black ponytail swings back and forth with her stride. "What the hell was that earlier? You can't just kick me out of the operating room like I'm some incompetent intern! What right do you have to embarrass me in front of my coworkers like that?"
I take a deep breath, trying to keep my voice level. "Vivian, you know why. Your presence is disruptive, and I can't afford distractions during critical procedures. Fuck, you dropped the entire sterile field of instruments. An intern would not do that!"
She scoffs, tossing her hair. "Disruptive? Please. I'm one of the best nurses you've ever worked with, and you know it."
"That's not true nor the point," I say, feeling my patience wearing thin. If she wants this fight now, then let’s do it. "What I want to know is, why are you even here in Hibiscus Harbor? Why choose to work at this hospital, of all the hospitals in the country, as a traveling nurse when you knew I live and work here?"
Her eyes narrow, a mix of hurt and defiance flashing across her face. "Why do you think, Trevor? To be with you. You can't just push me away like this. We have history."
I shake my head, bewildered. "I don't understand, Vivian. When we broke up, you were all set to quit nursing. You were making more money with your blogging and influencer gigs. What happened to that plan? Why come back to nursing? Why now?"
A sardonic smile plays at her lips. "Oh, Trevor. You really don't get it, do you?" She takes a step closer, her voice dropping to a sultry whisper. "It's because of you. All of it is because of you."
My heart races, but not in the way it used to when we were together. Now, it's anxiety coursing through my veins. "What do you mean? What are you talking about?"
"I want us to get back together," Vivian says, her eyes boring into mine. "I love you, Trevor. I always have. We were good together and we never should have ended things between us."
I take an involuntary step back, my mind reeling. "Vivian, that's not?—"
She cuts me off, her words. "I still do the blogging and influencing, but nursing... it lets me work with you. Don't you see? We can be together all the time, now. Just like we used to be."
I close my eyes for a moment, memories of our turbulent past flashing through my mind. When I open them, I see Vivian's hopeful expression, and I feel a pang of guilt, but beneath that, there's something else. Relief, because I know now, more than ever, that what we had is truly over.
"Vivian," I start, trying to find the right words. "I'm sorry, but—" I take a deep breath, steeling myself for what I need to say. "This isn't going to happen between us. I'm with someone else now."
Her face contorts, a mix of disbelief and anger. "What? Who? I haven’t seen you with anyone. Don’t lie to me, Trevor. I won’t stand for more of your lying."
I have no idea what she’s talking about. "I’m not lying to you, Vivian. I’m with someone who makes me happy," I explain, my voice soft but firm. "Someone who cares about me for who I am, not for my status as a trauma surgeon."
Vivian's eyes narrow, her jaw clenching. "You can't be serious. After everything we've been through?"
"I am serious," I insist, feeling a weight lift off my shoulders as I speak the truth. "What we had... it's in the past. I've moved on, and I think it's time you did too."
I see the change in her eyes before I register her movement. Her hand flies up, aiming to slap my face, but my reflexes kick in. I catch her wrist mid-air, holding it firmly but gently.
"Let go of me!" she hisses, trying to wrench her arm free.
"Vivian, stop," I say, releasing her wrist and taking a step back. "This isn't you."
Her face flushes with fury. "This is exactly who I am, Trevor! I'm the woman who loves you, who's willing to do anything to be with you. You need to get over this... this little hiccup you're having. We belong together!"
I shake my head, feeling a mixture of pity and frustration. "No, we don't. What we had wasn't healthy, Vivian. Can't you see that?"
She opens her mouth to argue, but I hold up a hand. "I'm sorry, but we’re over, Vivian. We have been for over two years. I hope you can respect that and move on. It's time for you to go home, go back to your life in New Orleans."
Her eyes widen, a mix of disbelief and anger flashing across her face. "You can't be serious. You're actually telling me to leave?"
"I am," I say, my voice firm but not unkind…which is more than she deserves after trying to slap me just a few moments ago. "There's nothing left for you here. This... chase you’re doing, it needs to end. You’re not going to win this, Vivian. You’re not going to win me."
I can see the tears welling up in her eyes, but I force myself to stand my ground. I've let this go on for too long already.
"But Trevor, I?—"
"No," I cut her off, shaking my head. "We're done, Vivian. Goodbye."
Without waiting for her response, I turn on my heel and start walking away. The sound of her frustrated scream echoes through the parking lot, but I don't look back. There’s nothing for me back there.
As I reach my car, I can't help but think about Brooke. Sweet, understanding Brooke. God, I wish I could swing by her house just to see her for a few minutes, but I look at my watch and see it’s well after midnight on a school night. I’m sure she wouldn’t appreciate my stopping by and waking her up, but it doesn’t keep me from wanting to.
I slide into the driver's seat, my hands gripping the steering wheel. Behind me, I can hear Vivian's muffled sobs, but I force myself to start the engine. It's time to move forward, to embrace the future I want, the future I deserve – a future with Brooke.