16. Nora
16
NORA
N ora stuffed her feet into her boots and grabbed a coat from the rack beside the door. Stomping outside, the door slammed shut behind her in the same moment the cold night stole her breath.
She slid her arms into the first sleeve of the coat before realizing she’d grabbed one of Clint’s instead of hers. Most of his things were still in the cabin since he could easily stop by for anything he needed.
Whatever. She wasn’t going back to get her own when she was on the warpath. Wrapping the large coat around her, she headed straight for her truck.
The urgency pushing her forward was as much about getting away from her dad as it was about getting to Clint. The metaphorical cement her dad had poured around her feet was getting deeper and deeper. She’d stupidly thought she was breaking out of the prison her dad had built for them.
She turned the truck toward the main house and focused on the path lit up by the headlights. If she owed Clint for saving her from homelessness, she owed him a whole lot more now. There was a specific amount of money attached to her dues, and it wrapped around her like a vise, crushing her freedom.
When she parked in front of the house, she kept her hands gripped around the steering wheel. So many things were happening around her, and she didn’t have control over any of it. None of the preparation in the world could change the trajectory of her life.
Where was she even going? What did she want besides to just be free of debt? She hated owing someone. It mattered to her how people saw her–how they trusted her. How could anyone see her as responsible when she was living every day at the mercy of someone else’s charity?
She rested her forehead on the wheel and closed her eyes. “Lord, please help me get through this. Give me strength and understanding. I don’t know what to do.”
It was a small prayer, but it was everything she needed. If this was God’s path for her, she had no idea where it was leading her .
Except here–to Clint.
She stepped out of the truck and bundled her arms around her as she walked slowly to the door. She rapped her knuckles against the hard wood and waited.
It was odd standing on the Taylors’ porch. She’d always just gone inside. Now, she didn’t want to take any more than she already had.
“Coming!” Clint shouted from inside.
Great. She’d made Clint get up when he could barely move around. Abandoning the formalities, she stepped inside and closed the door behind her before the cold night could follow her inside.
When she turned, Clint was standing on one foot by the couch. From the serious look on his face, he already knew the reason for her house call.
She stood just inside the door and took two deep breaths before asking, “Why?”
“Why what?”
“Why’d you do it?”
Clint closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose as if searching for the answer to her question in the far recesses of his mind.
“I didn’t expect him to tell you the minute we got back.”
“Why, Clint? You didn’t have to pay it,” she said evenly.
Clint jerked his head up. “Because I won’t let you be in danger. ”
Nora shook her head. Ten thousand dollars wasn’t chump change. It was money he probably wouldn’t ever see again, unless Nora made a point to pay him back out of her own pocket.
He grabbed a crutch and took a few steps toward her. “Don’t you get it? You mean everything to me, and I’m not going to stand around while you look over your shoulder all the time.”
Nora’s breaths were ragged and tight as she stared at him. He’d done it because he was a good man, but he’d also done it because he cared about her. He was providing for her and protecting her because there was something more than friendship growing between them.
The look on his face said it all. The new feelings that had been brewing within her weren’t one sided. She could fess up, but what would it mean if they started a relationship when he’d done so much for her and she owed him everything? She was still at his mercy. She’d never wanted to depend on someone else, but that’s exactly where she’d landed.
Things between them were changing. Was she ready? What did she even want? How could she devote her time to a relationship when she could barely keep her head above water?
A change like that could make or break them. Clint’s friendship was the one thing in her life that she held with gloved hands, and she wasn’t willing to break it .
Losing Clint would crush her. More than her mom leaving. More than losing her home.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered.
Clint took a tentative step toward her. “For what? You didn’t do anything. None of this is your fault.”
“Yeah, but you’re in the middle of all this because of me. Because you’re too good for your own good.” She spread her arms out before letting them fall to her sides. “Why couldn’t you have just stayed out of it?”
Clint shook his head. “We both know I couldn’t do that if I tried.”
Every bit of bad news she’d heard since she came home hit her at once. The wave of hurt, anger, and helplessness rose in her chest and choked her. Her nose tingled, and tears stung behind her eyes before the sob broke free.
Clint’s arms were around her in an instant. Her cheek pressed against his firm chest, and she let the tears have their way.
When was the last time she cried? It had been so long since she’d let it out. It was easier to bottle it up and push it away than to sit around thinking about all the things that hurt her.
She cried when her mom left. Once. It hadn’t been because of the loss. She’d been angry. With her mom gone, there were more chores on her plate, and the injustice had been enough to break her .
“Come here,” Clint said as he pulled her toward the couch. He sat before tugging her down beside him. She cuddled back to his side and made a new tear stain on his shoulder.
“I’m sorry,” she choked out before the sobs took over again.
His hold around her tightened. “It’s okay. You’re not doing any of this alone, and I don’t regret being here for you. I’ll always be here.”
She lifted her head and wiped her eyes. “You need to prop your leg up.”
Clint did as he was instructed and lifted his leg onto the coffee table. “Better?”
“Better.”
He picked up her legs and rested them over his lap. “Better?”
“Better.”
With his body wrapped around hers and his soft breaths in her ear, she relaxed and was able to breathe evenly again. “I’m sorry I’ve put you through all this.”
“I’m only sorry you had to go through it. Nora, I never question your strength. I just don’t want you to have to do anything alone.”
Half of the hurt melted away in the wake of Clint’s words. She wasn’t losing her independence. She was gaining a partner. What she had with Clint was the opposite of what had torn her parents apart. When things got tough, her mom left. When her dad made mistakes, he didn’t try to fix them.
Clint had no obligation to her, but he was proving he would stand by her through the toughest times. He wasn’t just giving her looks of pity when things went wrong. He’d gone and actually fixed the problem at his own sacrifice.
The magnitude of the feelings growing inside her brought on a specific fear she’d underestimated–losing Clint.
She loved him for everything he was doing. All of his kindness drew her in more each day. But what if he decided it was too much? She was only taking and not giving. She wasn’t worth the troubles he had to endure to keep her in his life.
“Clint?” she whispered.
“Yeah.”
“Promise me you’ll tell me if it’s too much. Being friends with me has cost you a lot, and I…I’m not sure it’s worth it for you.”
Clint huffed, blowing his hot breath onto the top of her head. “You’re priceless. I’d give everything I have to keep you safe and happy.”
Nora chuckled. “Remind me to send your parents a thank you card. They raised you good.”
“I learned a lot of it from you too. You don’t let me get away with anything.”
She chuckled again, and the tightness in her chest eased. “Thanks for letting me cry it out. I can’t believe I did that.”
“It’s fine. It’s nice to know you’re human and not a robot. You’ve been going through the motions and doing everything you need to do, but keeping it bottled up isn’t always good.”
She wiped her eyes again. “I’m sure you hang out with your emotions all the time,” she said with a smile.
“I make a point to cry at least once a month. Sometimes, I watch sappy movies just to get it all out.”
A chuckle bubbled up in her chest. “I’m sure you do.”
“Okay, maybe I’m not super in touch with my emotions. I still know you’re strong, even if you cry a little.”
She rested her head against his chest. “Can we maybe not tell everyone that I cried like a baby?”
“I wouldn’t tell a soul,” Clint promised.
She lifted her head and inhaled a deep breath. “I guess I should go talk to Dad now that I’ve calmed down. I might have stormed out without letting him finish talking.”
Clint patted her leg. “Will you call me when you make it home?”
Nora narrowed her eyes at him. “It’s right across the pasture. ”
“I know, but there are lions and tigers and bears out there.”
Rolling her eyes, she lowered her legs from his lap and stood. “There are no lions and tigers in Colorado.”
At least there weren’t any men with guns coming to collect on a debt she couldn’t pay. All thanks to Clint.
“Still, I need you to call me.”
She lifted a finger. “I’ll text. How’s that?”
“I’ll allow it.” Clint let his gaze drop to her feet, then slowly move back up again. “My coat looks good on you, by the way.”
Nora fisted her hands in the material and pulled it tight around her. “Sorry. I was in a hurry to get over here.”
He pulled the collar up around her neck, and she shivered where his fingers touched her sensitive skin. She looked up at him and bit her lips between her teeth. The urge to blurt out her secret feelings was overwhelming. He was so close–close enough to reach up and press her lips to his.
Good grief. Was she thinking about kissing Clint? That was a thought that needed plenty of deliberation.
After a full night of sleep.
“I’ll see you tomorrow,” she said as she turned and grabbed the doorknob .
“Good night,” Clint whispered as she walked away.
The wind hit her cheeks, and she was glad Clint had pulled the collar of his coat up around her. She settled into the truck and started the engine.
Clint still stood in the doorway in the freezing night to make sure she was okay every step of the way.