Chapter 13
thirteen
Charlie
Ikeep myself busy for most of the day, working on giving the resort’s website an overhaul and checking on the place before I decide to pay Cole a visit.
Judging by his strange behavior this morning, I can only assume he falsely believes we had sex last night, and for some reason, that possibility caused him a tremendous amount of discomfort.
I need to set the record straight so he doesn’t beat himself up over something that never happened.
I may think he deserves to suffer just a little for storming out of my place like a child, unwilling to hear me out, but I’m not a total asshole.
The man obviously hates the thought of being intimate with me, and I don’t want to be the reason he keeps torturing himself.
Talk about a swift kick to the old self-esteem.
I raise my fist and knock on the door before I step back and wait for him to answer.
It takes longer than expected, but his heavy footsteps finally approach and I straighten my shoulders as I prepare myself to face him.
The first thing I notice is that he looks like hell warmed over.
It’s obvious he’d been sleeping and that he’s still very much hungover, despite the extra hours of shuteye.
The second thing I notice is his broad chest and thick, muscled thighs.
He’s standing there in nothing but black boxer briefs, and the fact that my mouth literally waters at the sight pisses me off just a little bit.
Especially now that I know the attraction is very much one-sided.
“It’s not a good time, Charlie,” he tells me in his gravelly voice while he looks at me with those haunted eyes.
There are faint lines on his cheeks where the seams of his pillow have embedded themselves into his skin, and for some reason, I find that more endearing than it should be.
It makes him seem more human, somehow. Less perfect.
“I disagree,” I tell him as I shove past and step into his humble abode.
He wasn’t lying when he claimed the carpets smell, and admitting that he’s right, even just to myself, only irritates me further.
I wait for him to shut the door and watch him pad into the kitchen on bare feet, where he begins preparing a pot of much-needed coffee.
He presses the power button and finally has the decency to face me as he leans against the kitchen counter and folds his arms across his chest.
I take a seat on the floral sofa and scrunch up my nose when a cloud of dust rises into the air, making the particles dance in the sunlight.
“I came here to tell you that I think you had the wrong idea when you woke up in my bed this morning. I would’ve set you straight, but you kept cutting me off and stormed out before I had a chance to tell you.”
“Tell me what?”
“That nothing happened between us last night.”
The unfiltered hope lighting up his gold-speckled irises hurts more than I’d like to admit.
Is the thought of sleeping with me really so revolting?
I mean, I’m aware I’m a little curvier than a woman should be by society’s standards, but I’m not a freaking whale, either.
I know I’m not ugly. There’ve been enough men showing interest over the years to make me believe I’m not a total toad.
I swallow the emotion down and force myself to lift my chin as I meet his glassy eyes.
“I’m assuming you don’t remember what happened after the alcohol hit, but the reason you slept in my bed wasn’t that we had, erm, relations,” I say, dropping my gaze to hide my embarrassment.
“I didn’t think you were in any condition to find your way back to your cabin, so I offered up my couch.
Turns out, your job required you to sleep in some questionable places, and you weren’t going to settle for anything less than a warm bed.
You did say you didn’t mind sharing. Thank you very much for that generous offer, by the way,” I say, barely suppressing an eyeroll.
“But I wasn’t going to get into bed with a stranger.
I mean, we’ve only known each other for a couple of weeks.
Plus, by that time you’d already taken off your underwear, and I really didn’t want to risk certain parts of yours accidentally crossing over that invisible line and rubbing up against my backside.
Again. We barely know each other, and you were quite drunk.
Anyway,” I finish, throwing up my hands in exasperation.
I’ve always been a nervous rambler. An annoying habit I’d be all too happy to kick, but probably never would.
“The point is, I slept on the couch. Nothing happened. We didn’t so much as kiss, so you can stop feeling guilty, or sleazy, or disgusted, or whatever else it was that put that look on your face this morning. Your virtue is still very much intact.”
Cole studies me for several painful beats, in which I busy myself by rubbing my thumbs together to keep from screaming.
Then he calmly turns around, takes two mugs out of the cabinet, and holds one out to me in silent question.
I give him a curt nod, and he proceeds to pour us each a cup, going as far as preparing it exactly the way I like it.
Not at all surprising, really. The man is a freaking federal agent.
It’s his job to be perceptive. When he’s done, he places my drink on the coffee table and plops himself into the seat across from me.
He cups his mug with both hands and blows the steam off the top before he takes a tentative sip. Then he finally looks at me.
“Thank you for coming over to let me know. And I’m sorry for jumping to conclusions and acting like a toddler. I’ll admit I was feeling a little raw this morning when I thought you and I had…”
He trails off and I swallow hard, trying to hide the blush that is surely creeping up my throat behind my own mug, but Cole doesn’t seem to notice my growing discomfort.
“I want you to know that I didn’t run out on you because I was disgusted. Fuck, Tink, you have no idea how stunning you are, do you? Trust me when I say, disgusting is the last word I’d use to describe you, and if I wasn’t so messed up, I’d have fucked you within ten minutes of meeting you.”
“What makes you think I’m that easy?” I ask, and we share a grin as the tension slowly begins to dissipate.
“There are some things in my past that I’m not quite ready to open up about, and when I thought something had happened between us, I handled the situation poorly.
I’m sorry if I gave you the impression that you’re not desirable.
My behavior had nothing to do with you. The truth is, I simply needed some time to process. ”
“And did you?”
Cole huffs out a humorless chuckle. “No. I spent a half hour puking my guts up and then cried into my pillow like a little bitch before I passed out. Only just joined the land of the living again when you banged on my door.”
The thought of this strong, badass man crying himself to sleep is almost unfathomable, and, not for the first time, I wonder what happened to cause him such torment. But I know from personal experience that trusting others with your pain is not easy for people like us, so I don’t pry.
“Well, you can stop beating yourself up about it. You may have flashed me your goods, but I’m honorable enough not to take advantage of a guy who clearly can’t hold his liquor.
You’re lucky you were with me and not some horny cougar, because let me tell you, you might be an ass, but that backside of yours is pretty irresistible. ”
Cole cracks a smile and leans back in his seat, visibly more at ease now that he knows he hasn’t been accosted.
“First of all, I can hold my liquor just fine. God only knows what you poured down my throat last night, but that was not your average moonshine.”
“Nobody forced you to chug half the bottle on your own,” I mutter, but he cuts me off by holding up another finger.
“Secondly, thank you for showing such tremendous restraint. I can only imagine how hard that must’ve been for you.
You have no idea the sheer number of squats and lunges I had to suffer through to sculpt these glutes into perfection.
Now that I think about it, I’m almost offended that you didn’t at least try to cop a feel. ”
I bark out a laugh, and Cole is all too happy to join in, both of us relieved that our growing friendship is still intact.
I may have only known him for a little over two weeks, and for the majority of that time, I’ve acted like his mere presence is an annoyance.
But the truth is, he’s growing on me. I’m finding myself looking forward to his arrival each day, and I enjoy the easy camaraderie in which we work together.
I like being around him, period. Even if he’s a sour son of a bitch most of the time.
My broken pieces speak to his, and knowing he’s wrestling with something makes me want to be the one to help him win the battle with his demons.
“You know, if you ever want to talk about whatever has you all twisted up inside, I’m a pretty good listener. And the best thing is, in a few weeks, you never have to see me again.”
Cole sobers and gives me an appreciative nod before he brings his mug to his lips once more.
“I’ll keep that in mind. Thanks, Charlie. For everything.”
With that, I drain my cup and jump to my feet. I figure it’s best to leave before things have a chance to turn awkward again. Also, the way he’s half-naked and looking like a goddamn snack reminds me just how long it’s been since I’ve had a decent release.
I think some quality time with my battery-powered friend is in order, so I can go back to looking at Cole without wanting to toss him on his back.
I noticed how attractive he is from the moment I first saw him.
But now that I have firsthand knowledge of what lies under all the form-fitting clothes, I have a hard time ignoring the growing need inside me.
He’s made it perfectly clear that the thought of sleeping with me freaks him the hell out.
So, I’m pretty sure asking him to be my fuck buddy for the remainder of his stay is not something he’d be open to.
“Well, I'd better get going. I still have a mountain of paperwork to get through.”
“Give me a minute to get dressed, and I’ll walk you back. I’m pretty sure I left my phone at your place.”
“Oh? I didn’t notice it, but I wasn’t really looking.”
Cole pushes to his feet and stretches his neck side to side, producing a satisfying popping sound, while I do my damnedest not to ogle the impressive bulge behind his tight boxers.
If I was a cartoon character I’d be sitting here with hearts in my eyes, tongue falling out of my mouth before rolling itself out on the shag carpet.
Cole disappears into the bedroom, and I wait on the porch to get some much-needed air.
“Afternoon, hon,” Dave calls out from his usual spot, his signature cooler beside him.
“Morning, big guy. Having a nice day?”
“How could you not, living in this beautiful place? I can’t for the life of me understand how people choose the city over this. You couldn’t pay me.”
“We’re pretty lucky, aren’t we?” I agree and jerk my gaze over my shoulder when the door behind me opens and Cole steps into the afternoon sun.
He’s wearing worn jeans, a simple light gray cotton shirt that enhances his broad chest, and his signature unlaced combat boots.
His hair sticks out in a million different directions, having just crawled out of bed, and even after a bout of puking, he somehow still manages to look glorious.
“Howdy, neighbor,” Dave calls out, cheery as ever. “Beer?”
Cole pales at the suggestion, a violent shudder traveling through his large frame before he politely declines. Dave shrugs as if to say, Your loss, and goes back to baking in the sun.
We walk shoulder to shoulder, not really saying much and simply enjoying the beautiful summer day when I spot a small lump lying in front of the main office.
“Ah, shit, Charlie,” Cole murmurs, once we get close enough to make out what we’re looking at.
He drops to one knee and gives the dead animal a gentle nudge.
“I’m so sorry,” he tells me, sympathy thick in his voice.
“Did he have any health conditions, or was he just old. Looks like he had some type of seizure, judging by the foam around his mouth.”
“Tink?” he prompts when I don’t answer. His eyes flash with alarm, and he rises to his feet when he takes in my frozen state. “Are you alright? Shit, that’s a stupid question. Of course you’re not. You obviously loved the little guy.”
“That’s not my cat,” I whisper as my entire body buzzes with adrenaline. The old familiar fear creeps in as I let my gaze travel across the surrounding area. He’s probably watching right now and getting a sick satisfaction from seeing me squirm.
“A stray, then. It’s okay. No one likes the sight of a dead animal. I’ll get rid of it and bury it in the woods. Just go inside and have a glass of juice or something. You don’t look so good.”
“This isn’t a coincidence. That motherfucker left it here on purpose.”
Cole tilts his head and steps closer to me. His watchful eyes dart from my stricken expression to the tree line behind us, as he scans the woods for invisible threats. “What are you talking about? Who did?”
“Jason. My ex. Looks like he’s finally found me.”