Chapter 16 #2
“But then shit went sideways, my cover was almost blown, and my superiors decided it was time to pull me. I argued at first, but the need to keep my wife and little girl safe eventually made me see reason. A few months later, an informant gave me the date and coordinates for a major exchange. We’re talking truckloads of women and children.
We geared up and raided the warehouses. Gunfire was exchanged, and lives were lost on both sides, including Carlos’s.
I didn’t mean to kill him. He was a sick fuck.
The scum of the earth. A vicious killer who took pleasure in raping and torturing the innocent.
I wanted him to rot in a jail cell for the rest of his miserable life, but he pulled a gun on one of my team members, and I didn’t have a choice.
About two weeks later, I’m walking out of our favorite Chinese place when my cell phone rings.
Elena hadn’t been feeling well, and I told her I’d take care of dinner, so she could get some extra rest… ”
I pause, swallowing around the lump in my throat and bracing myself for this next part.
“I glance at the screen, instantly suspicious when I see it’s an unknown number. I pick up, but don’t say anything, waiting for whoever’s on the other end to reveal their identity first. When he finally spoke, I’m sure all the color leeched from my face.”
Immediately, I’m transported back to the exact moment my hand tightened around the device, squeezing so hard I’m still surprised the screen didn’t crack.
“Hello, Alex. Or should I say Special Agent Foster?” The heavily accented voice cuts through the whooshing sound in my head, and I almost drop the bag clutched to my chest.
The leader of a notorious cartel calling me by my real name is bad fucking news, and I make sure my voice is firm when I say, “How did you get this number?”
“Does it matter? We both have a lot of resources at our disposal, Agent. It doesn’t matter how I came across the information. What you should be more concerned about is what I can do with it.”
“What do you want?” I ask, already pulling away from the curb. Hitting the speaker button, I run a trembling hand through my sweat-soaked hair as I wait for Mateo’s chilling voice to fill the truck’s cabin.
“Revenge,” he says simply, and I swallow the ball of dread in my throat before it settles like a heavy boulder in my gut.
“An eye for an eye, Agent. You took my son from me. The only person I ever truly loved, and now you’re going to find out what that feels like.
I’ve decided to let you live with that agony for a while before I eventually come for you and end your misery.
But first, I want to watch you suffer the way I’ve been suffering since you took my boy.
Run along now, Cole. Your family is waiting for you. ”
The click of the call ending is deafening as I gun the engine and race toward home like a madman.
Ignoring the various red lights and stop signs along the way, I almost cause an accident, but I don’t care.
My heart is pounding so hard I can feel it in my temples.
Palms are slick on the steering wheel. Nausea twists my gut into painful knots.
Please, God. Please, let them be okay. I’m still praying when I come to a screeching halt in my driveway.
I don’t bother turning off the engine, leaving the car door wide open as I sprint to the front door and throw it wide.
I haven’t yet gotten to the kitchen, but I already know.
I can feel it. The absence of life in a home that’s always felt warm and welcoming.
Rounding the corner, I stop short, a noise that doesn’t sound human spilling from my lips when I spot the bodies sprawled out on the cold, hard tile.
My legs no longer support me, and I collapse, sinking to the floor beside them.
My blurry gaze locks on the unseeing eyes of the woman I love.
She’s cradling our daughter to her side as if her last moments were spent trying to shield her from harm.
Both of my reasons to live, forever gone from this world. Because of me.
A choked sound escapes, and I force myself to meet Charlie’s glassy-eyed gaze.
“He killed them,” I tell her in a raw whisper.
“Gunned them down like a couple of dogs in their own damn home. I know in my heart, Elena did everything in her power to protect our daughter, but they never stood a chance against a trained assassin. They took my wife and daughter. My little girl.” My voice hitches, and I suck in a gulping breath to regain control.
“She was just a baby. Only three years old. God, you should’ve seen her,” I say around a wobbly smile.
“She was the cutest little thing you ever saw. She had these wild corkscrew locks that bounced every time she moved, and these huge, blue eyes that always held so much affection for everyone she came into contact with. An infectious smile that lit up her whole face, and a belly laugh that always turned my day around, no matter how shitty it may have been. I was her hero, and I let her down. I couldn’t protect her when it mattered most, and I hate that her last moments were spent in terror.
Watching her mother being murdered right in front of her.
Staring down the barrel of some stranger’s gun.
I’ll never forgive myself for putting them in that situation. ”
“Oh, Cole,” Charlie soothes, abandoning her spot and crawling toward me to pull me in for a hug. A pathetic sob bubbles up my throat, and I allow myself a moment to soak up her warmth and the comfort she provides. Then, I pull back and wipe my face clean of any evidence of my breakdown.
“I’m so fucking sorry,” she tells me, and it’s easy to make out the sincerity behind her words. “No one should have to go through that. If there’s anything I can do…”
“Honestly, if you still have some of that moonshine, I wouldn’t mind a shot or two. Don’t worry, I’m not going to strip and kick you out of your own bed again.”
Charlie gives a watery chuckle.
“Two shots of firewater, coming right up,” she says with a weak attempt at a smile.
“Is that why you’re here? To work through what happened with your family?” she asks once we’re both armed with a drink.
I toss mine back without waiting for her and prepare myself for the inevitable full-body shudder before saying, “Partly. But I also just needed some time away from everything, you know? After the funeral, I made it my sole mission to go after Mateo and wipe that evil son of a bitch off the face of the earth. I couldn’t rest until I knew he was six feet under, and the thought of putting a bullet in his brain was the only thing keeping me going. ”
Charlie gives me a nod like she understands my need for revenge as she settles back into the cushions and covers her lower half with a throw blanket.
“It took me eighteen months to make it happen. You don’t just walk up to a cartel leader and shoot him in the head.
Powerful men like Mateo are well protected.
They don’t go anywhere without an entourage of enforcers.
Truthfully, not a lot of people are crazy enough to attempt taking out the head of a criminal organization of that magnitude, but I didn’t care whether I lived or died.
All I cared about was killing that despicable piece of shit by any means necessary, and about four months ago, an opportunity presented itself and I took it.
I also took out the rat who fed him intel, including my identity.
Turns out he was one of our own. Apparently, the bureau wasn’t paying him enough, and he couldn’t turn down the money Gonzalez offered in exchange for information.
He begged me for mercy when I broke into his house a few months after my family was murdered. I had none to give.”
Charlie doesn’t blink at my blunt delivery, and it’s then I realize the life she’s been forced to live alongside her ex must have desensitized her to the brutality of it.
Which makes me wonder just how dangerous this Jason guy truly is.
I already called in a favor with one of my contacts to do a deep dive on the fucker.
Provide me with any info or dirt he can dig up on him.
I’d never make the mistake of underestimating my opponent again, so I want to be as prepared as I can be when he makes his next move.
“As it turns out,” I continue, now that I’m certain she can handle the truth.
“No one within the organization was all that sad to see Mateo go.
Pretty sure his second in command already had a plan in place to take him out himself when I showed up to do his dirty work.
I was basically doing Antonio a favor when I slaughtered that motherfucker, which is why no one ever retaliated against me.
Antonio knows it was all about some form of closure for me, and doesn’t consider me a threat to his business.
But once I’d accomplished what kept me focused for so long, I found myself once again without a purpose.
I aimlessly floated through the days, unsure of what to do with myself now that I’d avenged my girls.
I’d hoped ridding the world of Mateo would make me feel better.
That it would bring me a sense of relief, but the truth is, it didn’t bring them back.
” I swallow hard before wrapping up the sordid tale of my past in a rush of jumbled words.
“My buddy, Mads, finally convinced me to take a leave of absence and deal with my grief. Said I’d pushed it to the back of my mind for so long it was bound to sneak up on me sooner or later, and he was right. So, I booked myself a cabin in the middle of nowhere, packed up my shit, and here we are.”
Charlie studies me with pursed lips and inquisitive eyes, like she’s trying to figure out the answer to a complicated question.
“That’s why you freaked out this morning. When you thought we had…you know? You haven’t been with anyone since your wife?” I pour myself another shot of gut rot and swallow it down before I give her a nod, confirming her suspicions.
“I’ll admit, the thought of having crossed that line after two years of abstinence and not being able to remember a single second of that colossal moment, had me reeling.
I didn’t know how to deal with my conflicting feelings.
It’s not like my wife and I divorced because we’d drifted apart.
She was ripped away from me in the most violent way, and I was still very much in love with her when it happened.
Still am. So, when I thought I’d slept with someone who wasn’t her.
I don’t know,” I say, unsure how to give voice to my rampant thoughts.
“It felt wrong. Like I was disloyal to her and everything we had together. Like I sullied her memory somehow by not being coherent enough to make a conscious choice to move on.” Blowing out a heavy breath, I scrub a hard hand down the length of my face.
“I understand she’s been gone a long time, and that she wouldn’t expect me to live like a monk forever.
Hell, Mads has told me more than once that it’s okay to have needs, and, logically, I know I can’t live the rest of my life without ever touching another woman.
I just haven’t met anyone who made me want to take that step.
No one I found myself drawn to,” I admit and flick my gaze up to meet her curious expression. “Until you.”