Chapter Eighteen
I’m starting to worry that Evan may not actually return.
He’s been gone since Saturday, now it’s Tuesday, and I’m such a mess—it’s ridiculous.
I’m not even trying to cover the fact that I’m a dumpster fire up anymore, though I’m not sure how good I was ever doing anyway.
Sherri commented on how out of sorts I was that first night, as we entertained the kids with movie night.
The next day, I went with Kai to help out at Portland Pride, and all he did on the ride down and back was rib me about how I’d had it bad for Daddy.
I didn’t even have it in me to tell him that there was no Evan and I. He’d just give me more grief about how Evan and I didn’t even make it a whole day. Not even a frickin’ day.
Now Evan’s up and left, and I’m really starting to get worried. Which is ridiculous, am I right? I mean, only my old-fashioned, lovesick heart would get this darned attached so quickly.
But what if something happened to him? What if he wrecked his bike? Though he always makes sure I wear Colton’s helmet, it doesn’t seem like he’s the type to take those sorts of safety measures into consideration for himself.
This is all my fault. I’d never be able to forgive myself if something happened to him, all because he left in a huff—mad at me.
“Hey Mr. G, have you heard from my dad at all?” I’m startled out of my sea of doubt by Colton knocking on my office door. “I just went up to his cabin to talk to him, but it doesn’t look like he’s been there for a bit…”
Any hope I had that perhaps they had at least been talking fizzles, while more worry niggles at me.
“I haven’t seen him since Saturday,” I tell Colton. “But hey, while I’ve got you here, do you mind if we chat?”
“Sure.” He shrugs, plopping down in the chair. “What’s up?”
I start by handing him the check for his art piece.
His face lights up. Gosh, he looks just like Evan when he smiles like that.
They have the same frickin’ dimples and everything, though Evan’s are just covered by his close-cropped beard he grew out of the stubble that lined his jaw when he arrived here.
“So cool! That was super awesome of your mom to sell that for me, by the way,” he gushes.
“Yeah, about that,” I begin. “She’s kind of what I want to talk to you about…”
“Yeah?” he asks, concern lining his brow.
“Whelp, she made a little mistake at the gallery. She accidently told your dad that Nikolas is your boyfriend. She tried to smooth it over, but I don’t get the feeling Evan bought it…”
“Oh.” Colton looks down at his lap, picking at his cuticles—his anxious tell. “Is he pissed? Is that why he’s been gone and not answering my texts? I mean, I was kind of hoping he’d see the picture and maybe that’d get us talking—”
“Wait, you wanted him to see it?”
“Yeah, I mean. The college talk I had with him went really well. He seemed really supportive and stuff. I was kinda thinkin’ that maybe I might be ready to tell him, you know?
I don’t care that your mom messed up. In fact, I think I’m kind of glad she said it, so that I didn’t have to face his reaction head on. Now, I guess I know… shit.”
I scrub a frustrated hand down over my face. My flippin’ pancakes. How much could this have all been avoided if Colton and Evan would just frickin’ communicate with each other? I’m going to circle back around to this in a moment, but first, I’m more concerned about something else.
“You’ve texted your dad and gotten no response?”
“Nah. I thought it was weird at first, but I guess if he’s mad at me, now I know why. I figured you’d know where he was though. You and him seemed to be getting pretty tight.”
I let him make me come twice in one night. Yeah, I’d say we got pretty tight there for a second or two. Ugh, nope. Don’t go there, Brooks. Not in the presence of his son.
“I don’t know, no,” I tell Colton. “When he left, all he said was that he was going to take a ride to clear his mind.”
“Bet he did it looking like his typical hard-ass self, too. Great, I knew I should have just kept everything secret for another year…”
“No,” I say, stopping Colton before he tries to bolt out of here. “You felt ready, and you did what you felt was right. He’s not mad at you, I don’t believe. I think he’s mad at me.”
“Why you?”
“Because I kept your secret from him.”
“Well, that’s not cool either. I mean, he shouldn’t be mad at you.
I’m the one who told you to keep it secret.
I’m sorry. I was kinda glad you and him started becoming friends.
Sully, too. He doesn’t have, like, any at home.
Sure, he knows the guys my uncle and my granddad hang around, but other than that, he’s a total shut-in. The guy doesn’t even really date.”
“He feels like it would upset you…”
Colton snorts. “Well, that’s stupid. He and Mom were like, I dunno, not really in love anymore or anything. Before she died, she asked me if I would be okay if they got divorced. I told her sure, they both deserve to be happy, you know?”
Oooo-kay. New revelation unlocked. Colton knew all about this all along. This literally ate Evan up inside. Again, the talking thing. They should try it sometime.
“So you wouldn’t be upset if he moved on?”
This makes Colton laugh out loud. “Are you kidding me? I’d love it. It’d give him something else to fixate on rather than hyper-focusing on me and my bullshit.”
My jaw goes slack. “You two and the walls you built around nothing are absolutely appalling, you know that?”
“What do you mean?” Colton asks, confused.
“Your dad feels like by moving on, he’s disgracing your mother’s legacy in some way.”
“Again, dumb,” Colton reiterates. “The thing with my dad is that he’s fixated on legacies and shit.
He’s always too worried about what other people think of him.
He acts like he’s this big, tough dude, but he’s really not.
As long as the chick he dates doesn’t think she’s going to take my mother’s place, I’m fine with it.
He’s only in his thirties, does he seriously think he can’t move on?
” he adds, speaking like a man decades wiser than his given age.
I don’t even get to respond to that when Morgan peeks her head inside the door. “Sorry to interrupt, but Dad?”
“Yeah?”
“We’ve got a little, uh, toilet issue in the boys bathroom again. I can’t find Evan…”
And therein lies that question once again. Where the heck is Evan?