Chapter Twenty-Two
Ipromised myself I was going to woo Brooks, and so far, I think I’m making damn good on my progress.
In the past week alone, I have sanded and re-weatherproofed the dock to make it safer for the kids; I managed to procure a new-ish canoe for the camp (thank you to whomever left it by the side of the road, free for the taking); and I think I finally put an end to our Noodles problem.
I caught him on camera trying to sneak back, but this time with—what I think to be—that same baby raccoon from the start of the season.
I wouldn’t be surprised if ole’ Noodles was the baby's father, and he’s just showing him how to scrounge.
Either way, I’m probably not doing it right by little Riley’s standards, but I managed to set up a place, near the hidey-hole where Sully and I go to smoke, to keep them fed.
I didn’t have it in me to dispatch them for being too socialized.
Noodles is kind of growing on me. The fact that he’s probably just a single father trying to make his way also tugs at my heartstrings a little.
Admittedly, I’ve never been much of an animal guy, but I am kind of fond of the wiley, curmudgeonly raccoon. Maybe we’re kindred spirits. I also appear to not be allergic to Noodles, the same way I am with Brooks’ cat. Snarf, ha. What a name.
Anyway, pretty sure Snarf likes his new cat tree I got him.
Over the past week, I’ve occasionally slept up at Brooks’—honestly just getting to know one another better and not just ‘researching’—and it’s like the fucking cat just knows he’s giving me hives.
He acts like we’re best buds or something, all up in my face with his fluffy tail.
I got him the tree as a peace offering, which I’m glad he accepted.
He’s annoying.
Tell ya who else is annoying. Kai Motherfuckin’ Hale. The first morning after Brooks and I fooled around together, I got up and went downstairs to start some coffee, and the guy glowered at me hardcore. Then, he accidentally sneezed into my freshly poured cup of Joe.
If that was accidental, then I’m the motherfuckin’ Queen of England. Wasn’t anything accidental about it. Kind of like how, later that day, my clothes wound up in a tree. Literally hanging from the highest branches of the giant fir that stands in the middle of camp.
Want to know how I deduced it was him? Glad you asked. I caught him on one of the game cameras I had strategically placed around the property for our resident trash panda. Call me crazy, but I’m pretty sure I graduated from middle school, oh, about two decades ago.
And that’s not all. Kai, that shithead, caused me to get into a jealous spat with Brooks. He’s lucky he’s made himself scarce lately, because I could rip his head off.
When I hopped on Venmo to transfer my paycheck over to my bank account, I got a little fired up about seeing a payment Brooks made to Kai with the comment:
I may not be totally down with all this emoji lingo, but the insinuation there was pretty fucking clear.
Feeling pretty pissed that something must have happened between them when they were down at Portland Pride together, I immediately stormed off to my cabin, ready to pack my scant belongings, hop in my truck, and disappear back to Ternbay.
That was until Brooks, once again, managed to leap in front of my damn truck and stopped me.
When I showed him what had gotten me so pissed, the hurt on his face told me all I needed to know…
He was being one-hundred percent honest with me when he said he had been so annoyed that he was expected to pay Kai back for sushi he never asked for, that he hadn’t even paid attention to the preloaded comment Kai had himself typed.
So far, Brooks and I have had two misunderstandings, and both of them have been because Pretty Boy is some snaky saboteur.
And to think, I actually gave him credit for being sincere the day he picked me up and drove me to town.
He’s a certified bullshitter, is what he is.
Fine, Kai wants to be petty? I can see his petty and raise him one.
I may or may not have enlisted Sully’s help to teach me to make brownies from scratch, just so I could lace them with a layer of those chocolate-coated laxatives.
Brooks and I just need to sit back and wait for him to indulge in some.
Fuck around and find out, my friend.
Brooks thinks Kai is acting this way because he’s jealous of me ‘stealing Brooks away from him,’ but Brooks assures me there was no stealing that needed to be had.
Brooks has seen enough of Kai’s pettiness now to have his golden image tarnished.
Good, because I can’t see what Brooks ever saw in him anyway.
So, as an added bonus, me fighting fire with laxatives just served to woo Brooks even more.
Anyway, so more woo-ing is what leads me here.
On the far edge of the property, seated on a craggy peninsula best reached by canoe or kayak, I found this old unused platform for one of those canvas tents like the kind we used to use at explorer camp.
I think I’d like to surprise Brooks with a new tent.
He could use another private getaway, even if it’s just to spend an afternoon reading in one of the hammocks I plan to hang in here, and he doesn’t have time to trek the trail to the brook.
Today, I’ve tasked myself with ripping out all the mushy boards and replacing them with some composite decking material—the kind that won’t ever rot away again.
I’ve managed to lug down all the new lumber on the nights I haven’t spent in Brooks’ bed, towing the boards over on a float behind the new canoe.
I freeze and crouch down when I suddenly hear voices and footsteps crunching the dead pine needles on the trail.
Colton pops out from behind one of the overgrown shrubs in the path, Petro in tow—both looking surprised to see me here.
“Oh! Heyyy… Dad,” he drawls, looking at me suspiciously, the same way I’m eyeing him.
“Whatcha up to?” he adds, in an attempt to sound aloof, like he didn’t just get busted trying to find a private spot with his boyfriend.
I think he forgets I was young once too.
Not that I’m old, because I’m definitely not fuckin’ old.
I stand, wiping sweat from my brow. I gesture at the lumber behind me. “Fixing up this old tent platform. I think the better question is what are you two doing down here?”
Colton bites his lip ring.
“Don’t be mad at him; it was my idea,” Petro interjects, reaching for my son’s hand protectively.
“I’m not mad,” I tell them, shrugging. This catches Colton off guard, which I find humorous, so I add, “Kinda glad you aren’t mackin’ on one another in front of the young kids.”
“Mackin’ on?” Colton asks, scrunching up his nose. “Dad, seriously, some of the shit you say is just cringe.”
I chuckle.
“So… it’s really not going to bother you if I kiss my boyfriend?” Colton asks sheepishly.
“Keep your hands where I can see them, and your tongues in your own faces, but yah… go for it.”
Colton and Petro both grin and give each other a quick peck on the lips, and guess what—
The world didn’t implode.
Lightning bolts didn’t shoot out from suddenly stormy skies.
And, best of all, I didn’t hear that shitty voice in my head telling me that allowing them to do what they just did is disgusting. Don’t get me wrong, the bad thoughts didn’t just disappear the moment Brooks and I started fooling around. I’m not magically cured, by any means.
They still haunt me when I wake up next to him with his arm casually slung over me. They still berate me when I lean in for a kiss sometimes. They especially got after me the other night when Brooks and I sat down to watch a movie together and ended up jerking each other off instead.
The night was meant to be casual and relaxing, but it was anything but that, when the reality of everything that’s happened lately caught up with me, and I broke down.
Not sure why, I should be relieved to finally be able to be honest and open about everything, but I guess I now see why people say it’s cathartic to just have a good cry and let everything out.
So, I did. Brooks held me through it all.
He didn’t see my sudden breakdown as a sort of regression.
He didn’t make me feel like shit for sobbing on his couch.
He gave me comfort and assured me that it’s perfectly normal to have ongoing bouts of vulnerability, even when things are seemingly going well.
Sometimes, what triggers those moments can’t be explained, but it’s okay to let it all out.
I’m still a little embarrassed about how much I cried in front of him, but I’m only human. Rome wasn’t built in a day, they say.
Then, he threw my ‘unicorn fart auras’ analogy back at me, and we had a good laugh—ending the night on a lighter note.
I’m so fucking grateful mine and Brooks’ paths crossed.
It’s probably unhealthy, this codependency I’ve built around him, but I can’t bring myself to care.
I know I’m not fully ready to completely stand on my own yet, but with his help, I’m getting there.
I’m sure those insidious thoughts will creep up again, when the order of lace panties Brooks picked out and bought for me comes in.
I’m sure they’ll especially just love the garters and stockings he picked out to go with them.
Actually, it was a whole outfit. He found some see-through mesh top thing, similar to the one I found in his hamper, to complete the whole ensemble.
Despite the thoughts telling me it’s wrong, nasty, or disgusting—I can’t help but admit I’m more than just a little excited too.
I can’t tell yet if it’s just to see Brooks’ reaction, or if it’s something I can really get into.
I get the feeling he likes it, but he’s just too preconditioned to be self-conscious about his body to admit it.
Guess we’ll find out after we get the package later today.
“Uh… Dad?” Colton asks, yanking me from my daydream.
“Yeah?”