Hear My Heart

Hear My Heart

By Tay Mo’Nae

1. Nakyra Moon

Chapter 1

Nakyra Moon

“ W e’re gonna be late if you don’t hurry up!” Rome, my fiancé, complained, eyeing me. “And are you really wearing that to have dinner with my parents?” His top lip curled up.

I glanced down at my outfit, wondering what was wrong with what I had on. It was simple, black leggings with a cream, oversized sweater.

I lifted my hands to speak, but quickly lowered them. “What’s wrong with my outfit?” By the look he gave me, one would have thought I asked him what color grass was.

“It’s not fitting to meet with my parents.” He turned and continued speaking while heading for our closet.

“You know I like seeing your mouth when you talk,” I called out.

“You have your aids on, right? Stop being difficult.” My lips pressed together and I brushed my hand over one of my ears. While I didn’t mind using them, it was easier on me at times to turn them off and rely on reading lips or ASL. Even with them on, it was always easier for me to see a person’s mouth when they talked to me.

I had been deaf since I caught meningitis at four years old. It was discovered too late, causing me to lose my hearing. It wasn’t until I got in school that my parents proceeded to get me hearing aids.

“Here, change into this.” I glanced up, eyeing the brown, knit, turtleneck sweater dress.

“I don’t want to wear a dress.” I sighed, grabbing the dress from him.

“My mom got it for you, didn’t she? She’ll be happy to see you in it. Hurry up; we’re already running behind.” Rome leaned over and kissed my cheek then stepped past me.

I held the dress in front of me and studied it. While I would have much rather kept on what I had on, I decided to change to save a fight.

A wet nose bumped my hand, gaining my attention. Looking down, a small smile formed on my face as my service dog, Bella, attempted to gain my attention.

“I’m okay, girl, don’t worry.” I rubbed the top of her head. Bella was a golden retriever and the sweetest dog anyone could ever have. I’d had her for a year and she’d made my life a lot easier.

Rubbing my eyes with the back of my hand, I released a sigh and walked to the bed, laying my dress down and proceeding to undress. Hopefully this dinner would be smooth. A headache was already starting to form and the last thing I needed was for it to become worse.

____

“In less than a year you’ll be part of the Thornton family, are you excited?” Marisol, Rome’s mom, asked after wiping her mouth with a napkin.

“Of course, I thought this day was never gonna come,” I answered with a small smile on my face. Rome and I had been together for eight years and engaged for the past two.

Rome reached over and placed his hand over mine on the table, giving it a small squeeze. “It all happened when the time was right. The past few years I was too busy to think about a wedding.”

“He’s right, you know, Nakyra,” Deacon, Rome’s father, mentioned, giving me an intense stare. “As you know I’m due to step down as CEO of Global Track Finances at the end of this year, and in preparation, I’ve been making sure Rome was ready to take his rightful place as my successor. A wedding can happen at any time, but becoming CEO and running a multi-million dollar company isn’t something to be taken lightly.”

“She understands, dear. Rome is about to start a new chapter in his life, and as his wife, you’ll be by his side supporting him, right, Nakyra?”

Six eyes fell on me, waiting for my answer. My stomach twisted in knots and my hands balled on the table as I gave a stiff nod. “Of course,” I forced out. “I know Rome’s been waiting for this his whole life and I’m happy it’s finally here.”

Marisol’s mouth lifted in a grin. “I knew my son made the right choice when he brought you home. It takes a special woman to handle a man in high power and the best thing you can do is support your husband and be his peace after a long day of work.”

My eyes moved around the table. Even though I’d been around them for as long as I had, I hated how I still felt like an outsider at times. “Have you spoken to your brother lately?” I asked Rome. “I hoped he would change his mind and attend the wedding.”

Marisol scoffed at my question and Deacon remained quiet, but his lips thinned tightly.

“No I haven’t. I’m sure he’s firm on his decision not to come,” Rome replied, not bothering to look my way as he spoke.

“Anyway.” Deacon cleared his throat. “Have you two spoken about kids? I assume with the wedding around the corner the subject has come up?” Deacon questioned.

“We’ve talked about kids and decided once we’re married to get started right away.” My brows dipped and I glanced at Rome. We hadn’t discussed that. Rome didn’t even want kids and he’d made that known to me. I could go either way on it, so I never complained. While becoming a mom would be nice, it wasn’t something I needed. I’d overcome a lot in my life and I wasn’t sure if I was meant to be a mother.

“I hope it happens sooner rather than later. Although it might be a little more challenging for you, given your situation, but that’s what nannies are for.”

My mouth turned upside down. I typically tried to be respectful when it came to my future in-laws, but I hated when they treated my disability as if it were the end of the world. Just because I couldn’t hear didn’t mean I couldn’t handle simple tasks, being a parent included.

“If you’re referring to me being deaf, then you have nothing to worry about. It won’t hold me back from being a mother if that happens.”

“That’s not what she’s saying, Nakyra. All Mom means is that it might be a little more challenging for you. She’s worried; that’s all,” Rome informed me with a disapproving look on his face.

He turned back to his parents and they began talking before I could even reply. I tuned out the conversation and picked my fork up, moving the cut up pieces of baked chicken around my plate. This was nothing new for me. I didn’t have a lot in common with my in-laws so the majority of the time I stayed out of whatever conversation until I was included. They hardly spoke about anything I cared about anyway.

Being invisible wasn’t new to me. Growing up, I was often left to entertain myself in my house. My parents often moved around like I wasn’t there and up until I got my hearing aids I grew used to being surrounded in silence to the point where I welcomed it.

____

“I’m not in the mood, Rome,” I groaned, nudging him off with my shoulder. He sat behind me on the bed, rubbing the tops of my shoulders. We were home from his parents’ house and all I wanted to do was climb in bed and lay down. I had showered already while he handled a phone call he received when we pulled up to our house and was now applying lotion so I could climb under the covers.

“It’s been too long since I felt you. Don’t be like that.” He moved my braids out of the way and kissed the nape of my neck. I smelled the faint hint of alcohol on his breath. Whenever he drank, he got horny. Most nights I didn’t mind because Rome didn’t last long, but tonight I wasn’t in the mood. I was still feeling a way about his mom’s insinuation that I couldn’t be a good mom because of my hearing and Rome not defending me.

“I thought you didn’t want kids,” I commented.

“I don’t,” he said, still kissing on me, tracing the top of my shoulder.

“Then why didn’t you tell your parents that?”

“My parents have certain expectations of me. Giving them grandkids is one of them. If I have to put my personal feelings to the side, then that’s what I’ll do.”

I paused from applying the lotion to my arms. “But why? You not wanting kids should be your choice.”

Rome halted his kissing on me. He reached over, grabbed the lotion bottle out my hand, and placed it on the nightstand. Tugging my arm, he turned and placed his hand on my shoulder, pushing me back. Crawling on top of me, he hovered above me, staring down with his light brown, upturned eyes. Rome was handsome with his golden-brown skin and lean yet defined body. He kept his face freshly shaven with just a mustache over his medium sized lips and wore his hair cut low.

“My parents made sure I had everything growing up. They set me up to never want for anything for the rest of my life. If a grandkid is all they require from me, then I can give them that.” He grinned, a drunken smile. “We have time for all that later though. For now we can just practice.” Rome leaned down and covered my mouth with his. I could taste the liquor he drank when we got home on his tongue as he shoved it into my mouth.

His hand went to my towel and pulled it open, exposing my naked frame. He brushed his hand down the front of my body, over my breasts.

“Rome, I said I’m not in the mood.” I moved my face away from his.

Ignoring me, he used his knee to spread my legs. “All you have to do is lay there. I’ll take care of everything.” He kissed from my face down to my neck as he fumbled with his pants. His face nuzzled into my neck. His breathing picked up and I felt his dick pressing against my entrance.

My eyes squeezed closed when he pushed inside me. Rome’s dick wasn’t the longest but it held a lot of girth. The initial intrusion always hurt and took me a moment to adjust. He pressed his lips into my skin as he pushed fully into me. It hurt at first because I wasn’t wet, but Rome didn’t seem to care.

Rome pumped in and out of me with purpose. His breathing grew heavier and his moves quicker. While sex with Rome wasn’t always the greatest, it wasn’t always the worst either. Before him I only had two other partners, but I had barely done it enough to call myself experienced. So I had little to compare him to.

“Shit,” he grunted as his body jerked and he released inside of me. Fluttering my eyes open, I stared up at the ceiling as he moved over my mouth and kissed me hungrily before rolling off.

I winced when he slipped out of me. His release seeped out of me.

“I needed that.” Out of the corner of my eye I watched him as he lay on his back and closed his eyes with a satisfied look on his face, flushed as if he’d run a marathon. My eyes ran down his body. While I loved him, there were times I wished he took my feelings into consideration more. When he got drunk he always disregarded how I felt about things and it didn’t help that he was a lightweight.

Scraping my bottom lip with my teeth, I reached up and turned my aids off in each ear before removing them, enveloping myself in silence. A calm filled me. I always enjoyed the sound of nothing when I became overwhelmed. I placed the aids on my nightstand and climbed out of the bed, making my way back to the bathroom. Rome’s release dripped down my thigh as I walked.

Once in the bathroom, I shut the door and pressed my back against it. Between my legs ached. Lifting my hand I examined the rock on my hand as a small smile formed on my face. When Rome first asked me to marry him, I felt like the princess that had finally been rescued from the tower. I grew up not having any friends, and besides my cousin, not having any family either. It felt good knowing someone wanted to spend the rest of their life with me. Rome was the first guy to sweep me off my feet and court me. He was my first real boyfriend too. Our beginning was rough due to our different upbringings, but Rome always told me I was different from any girl he had ever been with and my maturity for my age attracted him to me. Things with us weren’t always perfect, and he had his flaws, but even still, I couldn’t wait to become Mrs. Nakyra Thornton.

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