Chapter 5
Chapter Five
“How about some french fries?” Finn asked as he walked beside Hadley with a tray.
She nodded.
“And maybe some grapes and strawberries?”
She nodded again before giving a few anxious flaps. Her face reddened and she shoved her hands into the pockets on her sweatshirt.
“Hadley, this is a safe place, you can flap if you’re feeling overwhelmed.”
She nodded but kept her hands in her pockets.
Finn grabbed himself some fried chicken, green beans, and a piece of cornbread. He added a small piece of vegetable lasagna onto his plate for Hadley. He could tell she was nervous, and he hoped he could get some real food into her belly once she relaxed a bit. He’d admit if the food tasted as good as it smelled, Chef Connor might be his new favorite person.
Hadley tiptoe walked beside him as he continued adding food to their trays. The cafeteria wasn’t super crowded or loud, so he figured her anxiety came from the couple with them. She loved socializing, she was just so drained once it was over that Finn tried to limit it for her.
“Did you see the dancing snowmen standing by the Christmas tree?” he asked in hopes of distracting her.
She grinned when she saw them.
“They go wiggle-wiggle,” Finn said, imitating them. Hadley imitated them as well.
He let her lead the way to the drink station. “Can you grab milk for yourself and water for me, Peeps?”
She looked at him.
“I’ll stay right here,” he promised.
She nodded and reached for the items. He noticed how much her hands were shaking. Once she’d gotten the drinks, she followed Sadie to a table and the four of them sat down.
Finn immediately lifted her onto his knee and she buried her head into his neck.
“It’s okay, Peeps. You’re doing so good,” he praised, rubbing her back. She trembled in his arms. He didn’t hold her often, but she never fought him the few occasions he did. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to, it was just that he wasn’t sure what she was comfortable with him doing and he never wanted to cross a line.
“Do you want to go back to the room?” he whispered. She shook her head and he admired her bravery for trying even though she was so out of sorts.
“You’re being so brave,” he said, handing her a french fry.
“Sometimes new things can be hard,” Sadie said, trying to help. “When I first got here, things were really hard for me too.”
Hadley looked up at her.
“I had a lot to learn about kink and overcome some lies I’d been told. I didn’t have any friends when I was sent here and no family to provide comfort or gain advice from. The one person I trusted had done something super bad to me, and I didn’t know what I was going to do.” Sadie reflected.
“It’s true, but things turned around for you, didn’t they, Sadie?” Derek asked.
“Yes, I found out what I really needed in my kink life and I met my Daddy and made lots of friends. I finally have a family here.”
Hadley flipped through her cards. Friend.
Sadie hesitated.
“She wants to hear more about your friends. Hadley’s hoping to make some friends too.”
“Oh. I have the best friends. Wren, Quinn, Hayleigh, Pippi, and so many others. You’re going to make the bestest friends here too! I promise.”
Hadley flipped through some more cards. Nonverbal.
“Are you asking if they’ll care that you don’t talk?”
Hadley nodded and bit into her fry.
“No, they won’t care. A good friend wouldn’t mind if you never talked. Or if you did weird things like wear your pants backward. A good friend will love you for you.”
Hadley froze on Finn’s lap and he was worried, but just a second later she relaxed and tapped, Yes.
“Hadley agrees with you,” Finn translated.
“And I know some of the Littles ones in the Caterpillars Room. They’re very nice,” Derek added.
Hadley smiled at him and nodded.
“Hadley, can I ask a personal question?”
Yes.
“Do you ever talk, or do you choose to be nonverbal all the time?” Derek asked.
Finn wished he’d asked him this privately. He didn’t like for Hadley to be put into situations where she may be uncomfortable, but too scared to tell him.
Hadley looked at him and then tapped him three times.
“Hadley is asking me to answer. She can talk and she has talked in situations where she’s comfortable, but she doesn’t care to. Talking isn’t something she’s comfortable with.”
“Thank you both for answering. I know sometimes these things are hard to discuss and please know I’m not judging in any way. I just want to make sure we take the best care of you here at Rawhide Ranch.”
Hadley nodded and ate a grape. Finn rubbed her back softly, letting her know he was here with her.
“Did you sign up for any of the Christmas things?” Sadie asked after she took a bite of her dinner.
Hadley nodded and tapped Finn again, making him chuckle. He was so damn fond of her.
“She is signed up for cookie-decorating, a carriage ride, and to be on the Reindeer Team.”
Hadley tapped his arm and then took his face in her hands, frowning. He thought over his words.
“What am I missing?” he asked her.
Pressing her forehead to his, he lifted his head and kissed her nose. “I can’t remember, Peeps, I’m trying.”
She flipped through her cards until she found a horse. She frowned as she studied it but held it up anyway.
“A trail ride?” Derek suggested.
She shook her head.
“A horse…” he trailed off trying to think of what she meant. “Ah, the alpaca. She wants to meet Alfie. You’re not signed up for that, silly girl, it’s just something you want to do.”
She nodded excitingly.
“He thinks he’s a horse!” Sadie giggled. “A horse!”
Hadley’s shoulder shook with silent laughter.
“Do you know about the turkeys?”
Hadley shook her head.
“Wren saved six turkeys that were supposed to be for Thanksgiving. Now they live at her house. They’re all so silly too! Monica is my favorite because she’s kinda neurotic.”
Finn adored the way Hadley leaned forward when Sadie talked, like she was hanging on to every word.
“I bet Sadie could take you and Master Finn to meet Alfie during your stay, right, Sadie?”
“Yes, Daddy. And maybe we could visit the turkeys too?”
“If that’s something they would like to do and if it is okay with Master Travis and Wren, you may.”
Hadley was already nodding her head at rapid speed and Derek chuckled.
“Is it okay with you, Finn?”
“Yes, I personally would love to meet a neurotic turkey.”
“The Littles staged a protest to keep the turkeys from being food. They made signs and everything, and we respected their request and now we purchase frozen turkeys,” Derek explained, stroking Sadie’s hair.
“They were our friends, not our feast,” Sadie explained.
The two Little girls skipped ahead of the men once again. Their bellies were full of the chocolate cake they’d been given when they’d eaten all their other food.
“I appreciate you taking the time to meet with us tonight,” Finn said.
“I’ve enjoyed myself. I hope I didn’t make her to uncomfortable by asking about her being nonverbal. Usually, I speak with Littles in my office, but she seems much too shy for that.”
“Yes, I think that would have terrified her.”
“She doesn’t speak because of fear,” the observant Ranch Master pointed out.
Finn nodded.
“Poor Little girl,” Derek said.
“Sadie’s done a lot to calm Hadley’s nerves.”
“I think maybe that was Sadie’s intention. I heard she helped you find your room today?”
“She did,” Finn agreed with a chuckle.
“My Little girl is very observant and very sensitive. She can’t stand to see someone hurting. I think she sensed your Little girl might be.”
“She’s not my Little girl,” Finn corrected.
“Bullshit.”
Finn was surprised by the Ranch Master’s bluntness.
“Maybe not in name, but definitely by actions.”
“We can’t.”
“Bullshit,” the Ranch Master said again.
“You don’t understand.”
“Then help me understand.”
“She’s never had a friend before me. Her parents were...”
“I know who they were,” Derek interrupted. “I’m assuming they caused her to be so fearful.”
“Yes, they were so worried about her being made fun of by the media and by people around them, that they trained her to be seen and not heard. They died and she will never get closure from that; they’ll never be able to tell her they were wrong. She’s never had a person that was for her in life. I’m her only friend. If it didn’t work out, she could lose the only friend she ever had and the only family who’s ever accepted her for who she is. I won’t do that to her.”
“But you need to consider what else you’re doing to her.”
“What else am I doing to her?”
“Denying her the Daddy she deserves. You know and accept her better than anyone else in her life. You’re clearly her safe place. She already seems to have a deep bond with you.”
Finn thought over his words. He hadn’t considered it from that standpoint.
“Do you want her to have a Daddy?”
“She really wants a Daddy.”
“Have you considered what you would do if she found a Daddy?”
“I’d make sure he was treating her right, vet him, maybe run a background check?”
“No, after all of that. If he wanted her to move in with him? If she wanted him to move in with her?”
“Her house is paid for, so he would probably move in with her.”
“And you live together, correct?”
“Yes.”
“What would you do?”
“I would find my own place.”
“How hard do you think that would be on her?”
That was something else Finn hadn’t considered.
“Sometimes love makes us stupid and it keeps us from seeing what’s right in front of us,” Derek offered.
Finn weighed his words. It would kill him to move out. He’d be plagued with worry and concern for her. Fuck. Could he actually handle seeing her with another man? No man would ever care for her the way he did. He clenched his fists in frustration. He’d been so sure he was doing what was best for her.
“Daddy, can we go play in the indoor playground?” Sadie asked, stopping a few yards in front of them. She danced and pulled her jacket closer around her. The night had a definite chill to it even though they were inside.
“That’s fine with me, angel, but you need to ask Master Finn.”
“Master Finn, can we go play in the indoor playground?”
“Do you want to go do that, Peeps?”
Hadley nodded.
“Then yes, that sounds so fun. Let’s go.”
Derek slapped him on the back. “I know I’ve given you a lot to think about. I’m always around if you need to talk it out with someone.”
He’d given Finn several viewpoints he hadn’t considered. Finn had been so confident he was doing the right thing for Hadley, but now he wasn’t so sure at all.