Chapter 12
BONER
Hey, I—
Jules
No.
Boner
But…
Jules
Don't make me throw you out of this car.
Boner
…
Jules
Once we figured out the radio situation, by me turning it off, Boner and I drove in silence. That is to say, I didn't say anything. He talked about stuff. I didn't listen. My mind was on Harlow. I hated leaving her behind, even for a little while.
"You know the way, don't you?" Boner asked, breaking through my thoughts.
"Nope," I said. "That's what the GPS is for."
"Right," Boner said, drawing the word out. "Of course it is. I never could get into...these newfangled things."
"GPSs?" I asked. I was almost certain I'd seen him navigate with his phone.
"No, horseless carriages," he said with a laugh.
I glanced over at him before returning my attention to the road. "You're an idiot."
"Come on bro, lighten up," he said. "This is the adventure of a lifetime. You and me. The road…"
"Heavy traffic," I said.
I muttered a few expletives to the idiot in the rusty white Jeep who tried to cut me off. Was that thing even roadworthy? Doubtful.
The driver stuck an arm out the window and waved like they were apologizing. Because that instantly made everything all right.
"Learn to fucking drive," I grumbled.
"I never saw a need," Boner said. "I like to take the train and bus everywhere."
"I wasn't talking to you," I started. I shook my head. "Never mind."
"I don't mind," Boner said cheerfully. "If you don't like the silence or me talking, we could try listening to the radio again. Or I could Bluetooth it to my phone and play my favorite band, Atomic Fluff."
I snorted. "You listen to a band called Atomic Fluff?"
"You don't?" he asked. "You don't know what you're missing."
"I think I have a fair idea," I said. "You don't have anything better on there? Like Wolf Venom or Ice Blue Roses? Blazing Violet?"
"I didn't realize you had a thing for Australian bands," he sounded surprised, as if all three bands weren't hugely successful.
"I have a thing for good bands," I said.
"So you want to try Atomic Fluff?" he suggested.
"Never mind, leave the radio off," I said. I hated to travel in silence, but it was better than listening to something random. Or bad.
"You know what's wrong with you?" he asked.
"I'm sure you're going to tell me." I sighed.
"You need to learn to try new things," he said. "Open your mind. You never know what you'll find. You might like all sorts of things you hadn't considered before."
He sounded like one of Archer's inspirational memes. The kind with a view of the mountains or a beach behind it. As if a few pretty words would change someone's life. It was all bullshit if you asked me. Every few days he'd send a new one to our group chat.
I'll never admit to saving any of them on my phone.
"Is that what you do?" I asked. "Walk around with your mind open?"
"Of course I do," he said. "I'm always down for… Just about anything. It makes life interesting. Otherwise you end up falling into a rut."
"Now you're saying I'm in a rut?" Was there anywhere I could pull over and shove him out? Maybe a truck stop where I could bolt while he was in the bathroom?
I sighed to myself. Harlow would be pissed if I did that to him. For a minute or two. And she'd remember how annoying he was and she'd understand. Right?
Then she'd make me turn around and go back for him. If she didn't, Cass would.
My brother and Boner seemed to have formed some sort of bond. I wanted my brother to be happy, of course I did, but I had to work to remind myself Boner wasn't so bad.
If anything happened to any of us, he'd have our backs, including mine. Otherwise I would have insisted he stay back in the city. The last thing I needed was dead weight hanging around my neck, dragging me down and making this time away longer than it had to be.
"Do you know anything about electrical wiring?" I asked. Might as well put him to work while he was there, otherwise, he'd find some trouble to get into.
"I have some idea," he said. "I watched them rewire my gallery before it opened. We had to have special lighting behind some of the displays otherwise they'd look like shit, you know? It looked pretty easy to me."
"Do you know how to turn off the power so you don't electrocute yourself?" I asked.
"No, but that's what I have you for," he said. "I know you won't let any harm come to me." He slapped his palm on my thigh.
"Do that again and I will drive this car off a bridge," I said.
He laughed. "You wouldn't do that."
"No, I wouldn't. I value this car," I said.
"And me. You value me, right?" he asked.
I glanced over quickly before looking back just in time to avoid running into the back of a black SUV. The kind with tinted windows that made you wonder what was going on inside.
"You might grow on me eventually," I said.
"That's so sweet. I don't think anyone has ever said anything that nice to me," he said without a hint of sarcasm.
"If that's true, you need better friends," I said with a grunt.
"Nah." In the corner of my eye, he flapped his hand. "I already have best friends. Look at us, bonding. We're practically brothers already. This was a great idea."
This was a terrible idea.
"Sure," I said, because it was easier to agree with him than to argue. He'd made up his mind and continued to insist this was a stroke of brilliance on his part.
If I was honest with myself, there was a very small, minuscule, smaller than microscopic hint of relief that I wasn't going alone. I'd sooner actually drive off a cliff than trust my father, but I had to know what was going on down in the Hamptons.
If I knew anything, it was that Forrest Cross did nothing without a good reason. Since that good reason was likely to be very suspect, I could use all the backup I could get.
I wouldn't admit it, but Boner was starting to grow on me. Like mold on cheese. Still, I trusted him, and that was more than I'd say for most people.
"I know you'd like anyone else along with you other than me…" Boner started.
"Don't," I told him. "Don't start getting morbid and regretful. I don't hate you. I'm glad you're here. You know what you're doing. You won't hesitate."
"No, I won't," he said sounding more serious than I'd ever heard him. "You and me, we've got this." After a moment, he added, "What would our couple name be?"
"Couple?" I scrunched up my brow. "Why would we have a couple name?"
"If we're going to work together, we need a couple name," he said, sounding cheerful again.
"We don't need a couple name," I said.
"What about Joner?" he suggested. "Bules doesn't exactly roll off the tongue. Or Bulius."
"Sounds like a load of Bulius to me," I remarked.
"Titmus the elder, did you just make a joke?" he asked.
"No, I said. I was saying it sounds like bullshit."
"Yes, you did," he said. "You made a joke, I heard you."
I sighed. "Fine, I made a joke. But we don't need a couple name."
"What about our last names?" he said, clearly not giving up on the idea, in spite of my protests. Possibly because of them
"Bittmus? Tonegard? I'll keep thinking about it."
"You do that," I said because clearly he wasn't giving up. Maybe it'd keep him quiet for a while.
"Can I ask why you don't have the same name as Forrest?" he asked.
"Because Zeus was Greek and Julius is Roman," I suggested.
"Huh. That's a good point."
I could almost see him frowning.
"I wonder why he didn't name you anything from ancient Greece. You could have been Achilles or Hercules or what's that guy's name? Iolus. Or better yet, Xena."
"First of all, Xena was a badass," I said.
"Of course she was, but you'd make a better Jaxor," he teased.
"Jaxor the Mighty sounds accurate," I said. Not that I was anything like the character from the show, but I could own the 'mighty' part, right?
"Does that make you Gabrielle?" I asked.
"I could get behind that," he said. "She was a badass too."
"You're such a nerd," I told him.
"Says the guy who knew exactly what show I was referencing," he pointed out.
"Yeah, well," I shrugged, "it's a classic. That and The X-Files."
"I'm starting to think you're cooler than I thought you were," he said. "See, look at us, we even found something we have in common."
"Don't let it go to your head," I said. "A couple of TV shows doesn't make us BFFs."
"Of course it does," he said. "I bet if we keep looking we'll find plenty of other things we have in common. Did you have a Tamagotchi?"
"Bless you," I said, although I knew exactly what he was referring to.
He laughed. "I'll take that as a yes. What color was yours?"
I muttered a response.
"I didn't hear that," he said.
I sucked in a breath and grudgingly said, "Pink. It was pink, okay? I was going through a phase. Cass had one too. His was yellow."
"See, that wasn't so difficult, was it? Mine was purple. I bet Harlow had one too. I'm guessing hers was black."
"Yeah." I could picture that little Harlow with a black Tamagotchi, trying to keep it alive when all the thing wanted to do was turn itself off and die.
I bet she was cute back then. She was certainly cute now.
I wished I was with her. Preferably with my cock inside her hungry pussy.
Listening to her moan. Fucking her with everything I had.
If I kept thinking that I was going to have a raging erection the rest of the way.
I glanced over at the GPS. "We'll be there in about ten minutes."
Either we were in for a boring few days or shit was about to get real.