Chapter 20
JULES
"Ifeel ridiculous," I complained, adjusting this stupid wig on my head.
"You look adorable," Harlow assured me.
I'd tell her she needed her eyes tested, but seeing her in a short blue wig did strange things to my heart. It pounded a little faster. My cock twitched. She looked so cute I wanted to drag her off to the bedroom and fuck her boneless.
"You don't look too bad yourself," I said, pretending to play it cool.
"She looks smoking hot," Boner declared. He was wearing a short dark wig and a backwards baseball cap. A tight t-shirt and light gray track pants made him look like an elite athlete. Or a wannabe. I wouldn't have recognized him if I hadn't seen him put all of it on.
"You look smoking hot," Harlow told him.
"You like it?" Boner placed his hands on his hips and turned this way and that, showing off the whole ensemble. "I can keep it when all of this is over if you do."
"I like it, but you wouldn't look like you if you stayed that way," she said, as if he needed his ego stroked.
"I don't want to look like not me," Boner said. He caught sight of something behind my right shoulder. His eyes widened. "Cass, my dude."
I looked around to see my brother, sharp as fuck in a dark suit. He'd actually agreed to let Harlow trim his hair so it was off his face.
"You look like you just stepped off Wall Street." I smirked. It was a good look for him, but like Boner, he didn't look like himself. Which was the point, but it was weird on my little brother. He'd always been the guy who didn't give a shit about how he looked, as long as he was comfortable.
"I can't wait to peel that suit off after," Boner said.
"Me too." Harlow stepped over to straighten Cass's tie and press her lips to his.
"I knew I should have saved the suit for myself," I mumbled.
"You looked perfect as you are," Harlow assured me.
"Perfect isn't the word for it." Dorky as fuck was more accurate.
I glanced at myself in the mirror. Adjusted the wig again. I supposed the blonde didn't look too bad, and the rest of the outfit looked professional. Not like Cass, but it'd do. I looked the part we'd agreed on. That was what mattered right now.
We all had a part to play. I'd play mine. By the time we were done, they'd be offering me an Oscar. Maybe a Golden Globe as well. Cass was the actor in the family, but they hadn't seen me perform.
"Archer, are you ready?" Harlow called out in the general direction of his bedroom.
"In a minute," Archer said back, sounding reluctant as hell. Finally, he stepped out of the bedroom, dressed the same as me, except his wig was red and long, tied back in a man bun like Boner usually wore. Thick glasses completed the outfit.
"I hate wigs," he said sourly. "Anything on my head." He shifted his shoulders like he was about to stomp back into the bedroom and take it all off.
Harlow stepped away from Cass and put her arms around Archer's neck. "You don't have to do this if you don't want to," she assured him. "We can figure something out."
His lips turned down but he responded with a slight shake of his head. "I can do this. I don't want to miss that delivery."
She placed a hand on his cheek and kissed him. "The quicker we do this, the quicker we can all get back to normal."
Considering her dress was so short, it only just covered her panties, normal had a downside. I'd have to convince her to wear that dress again. So I could take it off her.
"Watch your language or I'll have to spank your ass," Boner growled jokingly. He shook his finger at her.
Eyes shining, she gasped and placed a hand over her heart.
"I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to say the word…" In a whisper, she spelled it out, "N-O-R-M-A-L."
"Oh no, you can say it, love," Boner said. "Because then I get to spank your ass." He grinned.
If you asked me, they both needed to work on their dirty talk if 'normal' was their idea of a dirty word. It was offensive, sure, but not dirty.
"If you keep talking about spanking her ass, we're staying here," Cass said. He looked like he was ready to order everyone out of their clothes and onto their knees.
If I didn't want to fuck with Zeus, I'd go along with it. My cock wanted to stay and play. The rest of me? I was done hearing about this Zeus asshole. It was time for us to be rid of him.
"I have the van waiting downstairs," I said.
Once Cass placed that order, we'd done some tweaking to the original plan. Lucky I had a friend with a van I could borrow who owed me a favor or two. As long as we returned it in one piece, we had it for the next few hours.
"Let's do this then," Harlow said with a smile.
"I don't know if we got the long straw or the short straw," I said to Archer as I placed the last box into the back of the van.
"The long straw," Archer said. "I've always wanted to be a delivery driver."
"You're not doing the driving," I pointed out, hurrying back to the driver's seat and sliding inside before he got any ideas.
Unlike Boner, he didn't argue. He climbed into the passenger side and closed the door.
"Delivery, passenger. Whatever," he said. "I've put a few of them into my scripts, but I've never actually been one."
"I'm surprised you never went on a ride along," I said dryly.
Was that even a thing in the delivery person world? Most people didn't turn down an offer of help when it came to carrying parcels up and down stairs and in and out of elevators right? Archer could have gotten as much hands-on experience as he wanted.
"Maybe I was waiting for this," he said, his expression deadpan.
"I'm flattered," I said sarcastically.
Honestly, I liked Archer. He was a good guy, smart, and he took care of our woman when I wasn't around to do it. The fact he and my brother got along so well was an added bonus. He seemed to like Boner, but no one was perfect.
"You've got the address?" Archer asked.
I nodded and fed it into the GPS. "We only have a couple of minutes’ drive, depending on the traffic."
Archer looked out at the busy street. He didn't need to speak for me to know what he was thinking. It was going to take more than a few minutes to make it a few blocks.
I loved this city, but the traffic was a pain in the ass.
I started the engine and waited for a break in the traffic so I could pull out onto the road.
And waited.
And waited.
"Come on, assholes, someone give me an in," I growled in frustration.
Finally, I got half a break, which was all I needed to peel the van away from the curb and onto the road.
The driver behind me honked his horn.
I put my hand out the window and flipped him off. What did he expect? That I was going to stay by the side of the road for the rest of the day? Nah, fuck that.
A few feet later we stopped at the traffic light.
For the next half a mile we stopped and started.
I almost ran over a man who was occupied with his phone while crossing the street. If I was going any faster, I would have taken him out. The car behind me would have run into me, causing all sorts of shit.
"Fucking idiot," I muttered.
"Stress isn't good for your blood pressure," Archer said.
"Tell that to the other human beings in this city." I gesture toward the windshield, indicating the place as a whole, and every person in it.
I waited until the pedestrian was safely on the sidewalk before continuing to drive.
"It's like they got up this morning determined to piss me off."
"Unlikely," he said, glancing out the back window.
"Unlikely but not impossible," I said. "Sometimes I think people live to be difficult. Especially in this place."
"Maybe, but it still isn't good for your blood pressure to let yourself get worked up," he said. "The chances of having major health issues—"
"Yeah, yeah," I interrupted. "Thank you, Dr. Hardwick."
"You're welcome," he said as if he thought I was being sincere. It was hard to tell with a guy like him, he was so closed-off.
I should try to be more like him: less open and friendly, more contained and calm.
The cheerful voice of the GPS told me to take the next right and the following left.
I did that, then looked around for somewhere to park. Preferably as close to our destination as possible. Archer might want to be a delivery guy, but I didn't want to be hauling all those boxes into Zeus' building. It was going to take several trips as it was. Did Cass have to order so much stuff?
Yes, I guessed he did, but I was still wondering about the length of the straw, since we were the ones delivering it. If I didn't know better, I'd think he planned that.
"Over there," Archer pointed as a dark sedan pulled away from the curb.
Before anyone else could jump in it, I slid into the spot and hopping out of the van, narrowly missing the door being swiped off by some asshole driving too fast and too close.
"Watch where you're going, you idiot," I shouted after him. It was almost as though he believed I should check before I opened the car door or something. Ridiculous.
He had the audacity to stick his hand out the window and flip me off.
"Fuck you too!" I stomped around to the back of the van and wrenched it open.
I pulled out the first couple of boxes and handed them to Archer, then grabbed a few of my own. Arms laden, we headed into the building beside us and hit the button for the twenty second floor.
The elevator carried us up, without flipping us off, and we stepped out, placing the parcels in front of the door to apartment two-two-thirteen.
From out here in the corridor, it wasn't anything to write home about. The guy was keeping such a low profile, I bet no one here suspected a thing.
I nodded in satisfaction and grinned at Archer, who responded with a hint of a smile of his own. We headed back down to the van for another armful of boxes.
I glanced around but couldn't spot the other three.
I knew they were there, watching and waiting.
Keeping a close eye on us when we came and went.
They better be doing that and not off in an alley somewhere, fucking.
If they did that, they'd be hearing from me for approximately the rest of their lives. I'd been left out enough.
In the end, it took us five trips to get all the boxes into the building and up to Zeus' apartment. The corridor in both directions was piled nice and high but careful so they wouldn't tip over and spill everywhere.
We wanted to inconvenience him, not the other people who lived here. Unless they were evil assholes too. In which case, screw them. They could be inconvenienced all day and all night, for all I cared.
"Ready," I said to Archer.
He patted his pocket where I knew he had a knife. "Ready," he said.
I pulled my phone out of my pocket.