Chapter 13
HARLOW
"Are you two out of your minds?" Jules snarled.
He sat in one of the dining chairs, his legs apart, wearing only a pair of boxer shorts.
I didn't expect him to sleep in shorts covered in pictures of cute frogs, but here we were.
"That police detective is sniffing around, and you go out there and kill someone?" He was all but shouting the words at us.
"Do you want the whole city to hear?" I snapped.
"No. It seems like you do," he retorted. "Whose stupid idea was it anyway?"
"It wasn't a stupid idea and it was mine," Archer said coolly.
Jules shook his head. "I thought you were smarter than that, bro."
"They weren't caught," Cass pointed out.
Jules rounded on him. "Are you sure about that? Are you sure they weren't seen? They could have been followed. They could have brought him here. He could be standing outside the fucking door right now." He waved a fist toward the door.
"Listening to every word you're saying," Boner said to Jules, although he looked as irritated about us sneaking away in the middle of the night.
Jules looked like he was going to tell Boner to fuck off, but he closed his mouth. When he spoke again, it was quieter by a fraction of a decibel.
"It was a stupid risk."
"We were seen. The place has cameras and there was a witness. But she's not going to say anything," Archer said.
"There was a—" Jules stared at him. "Now I know you're out of your ever-loving fucking mind. You can't know she won't say anything."
"He's right," I said.
"Of course I am," Jules snapped.
"I was referring to Archer," I said calmly, "She's not going to say anything. She was grateful for our help."
"For now," Jules reasoned. "What happens when she decides she's not so grateful after all? What happens when she decides you've made her life worse? She has camera footage."
Cass rose, headed over to pick up his laptop and opened it. He sat tapping at the screen for a few minutes, then shook his head. "Not anymore. I wiped it clean."
"Too clean?" Jules asked, no less pissed off. "They left an eyewitness."
"Who saw two people dressed in black with masks," I said. "She can't give anything to the police even if she wanted to."
"Two people in masks and one is a woman," Jules pointed out. "That's something, whether you want to believe it or not. Getzoff is already suspicious of you."
"Why didn't you tell us you were going out?" Boner asked, sounding hurt.
"We were on a date," Archer said. "I wanted some time alone with Harlow."
"Okay, but why didn't you tell us?" Boner insisted. "I woke up and Harlow was gone. I heard you come back. Figured you'd explain. But no, you went and had a bath." He gestured toward the bathroom.
"Archer had ketchup in his ear," I said.
Boner dropped his hand. "In his hair, ear," he repeated. "You didn't think I'd want to see that?" His anger was starting to fade, replaced by his usual humor.
"It was sticky," Archer said, curling his lip slightly. His version of being completely grossed out.
"You got sticky and I missed it?" Boner flopped down into a chair, exhaling as he hit the seat.
"It wasn't a good kind of sticky," I told him. "That didn't happen until we got home."
"I heard the water sloshing," he said, looking down at the tabletop in front of him.
"Are you disappointed because you missed the killing, or because we didn't tell you before we left?" I asked.
He raised his hands in front of him and moved them up and down, like a set of scales. "A little of this and a little of that. You two had fun, by the sound of it."
"We did," I agreed. "Next time you and I can have fun together."
"You really are out of your minds,” Jules said, his arms crossed over his bare chest. "I thought the idea was to keep an eye on Getzoff and keep a low profile. Killing convenience store owners isn't what I'd call 'keeping a low profile.'" He used air quotes. "And leaving a witness?"
"Do you want us to go back and kill her? She’s innocent," I snapped. "He was hurting her."
"She tried to get help," Archer said softly. "No one would listen until we did."
Silence followed his words.
We knew it happened all too often. People reached out for support and didn't receive it.
No part of that was okay. We shouldn't have needed it to do what we did tonight.
If the system worked, we wouldn't have. Sometimes it let people like Camilla down, and here we were. Taking care of the problem instead.
Jules scrubbed a hand over his face. "Okay, I get it. No one listened when Augustus needed help either. They gave him no choice but to…"
He closed his eyes without finishing the sentence. He didn’t need to, we knew what he was going to say. The system let Augustus down too.
"Did you have to do it where you'd be seen?" Jules asked finally.
"They had an apartment above the convenience store," Archer said. "It was harder to get in there than it was to do it directly. Either way, she would have been there. Either way, he'd end up dead. I promise you, I was as careful as I could possibly be."
"That still doesn't explain why you didn't tell us you were leaving," Boner said. Apparently he was more worried about that than he was about us being seen.
"I thought you'd try to talk us out of it, or tag along," Archer said. "Next time I'll leave a note."
"Do that," Boner said. "Look, I understand wanting to have time alone with Harlow. Just give us a heads up, yeah? And I'll do the same for the rest of you."
I rubbed a hand over my eyes.
"Is there anything else? Because I need to get some rest. I have to be at work in a few hours."
I was going to be tired all day but it was worth it seeing the gratitude on Camilla's face. Toby was the lowest of the low. I hoped that special place in hell for people like him had an extra special spot for him. Something painful.
Strange how I always thought that when I didn't really believe in heaven or hell.
Thinking of predators dying without any kind of retribution didn't sit well with me.
That was why I had my torture box. For a chosen few, I could ensure they suffered before they died.
If they didn't suffer after they died, at least they had that.
"So do I," Jules muttered. He pushed himself off the chair and stalked over to his bedroom. The bed creaked as he threw himself down onto it and rolled over.
"Sorry about him, but he does have a point," Cass said, closing the laptop and sitting in the chair Jules vacated. "That was a risk."
"Calculated risk," Archer said. "Carefully calculated." His tone was loaded with additional meaning.
Cass cocked his head. "What did you do?"
We all turned to stare at Archer.
"I figured if the cops knew she was a woman, they might give her a fancy nickname," he admitted. "They call me the Heart-Renderer. Isn't it time she got one of her own?"
I groaned. "If they look that place over carefully enough, I might get the nickname The Ketchup Killer."
Boner grinned. "That's fucking hilarious. Harlow, The Ketchup Killer."
"They might call you the Chocolate Killer," Archer suggested.
"That sounds like I killed chocolate," I grumbled.
Which was more or less accurate. Okay, not killing it, but eating it.
"They might not realize he was murdered," Boner said. "They might put it down to…" He paused for dramatic effect. "Shelf-inflicted injuries."
We all groaned at his terrible pun.
As always, he was completely unapologetic. He actually bowed.
"Thank you, I do what I can," he said.
"Shut up with the puns," Jules called out.
“No can do," Boner called back. "It goes with the rest of my evil personality, as a…cereal killer."
"They might call me the Cornflake Killer," I said, remembering the box that fell off the shelf. That would be a play on the term serial killer.
"They might go for something sophisticated, if they know he was a predator," Archer said slowly. "Something like the Feminine Hygienist." The very corners of his mouth twitched upward.
"If you don't stop with the puns, I'm going to kill all of you myself," Jules said.
"You might not need to," I called back. "I might do it for you."
To Archer I said, "I hope they come up with something better than that. But they're not going to call me Chef Stabby based on what we did tonight."
That disappointed me more than I would have expected it to. I mean, the nickname I gave myself was cute, right?
"Why don't you kill with a big carving knife?" Boner asked. "Or a vegetable peeler?"
"It's harder to conceal a carving knife," I pointed out. "And a vegetable peeler would be as effective as killing someone with a wooden spoon."
"You could totally kill someone with a wooden spoon, love," he said. "It'll take a while, but it's possible. Although, if you jam it down their throat, that'll be faster." He mimed doing just that, jabbing a spoon with both of his hands down the throat of an imaginary adversary.
"Thank you for not suggesting I stick it up their ass," I said.
I wouldn't do that to a perfectly good wooden spoon.
Not to mention there were parts of these predators I didn't want to go near if I could help it.
They were assholes. I didn't want to touch their assholes.
You know what they say about those. Everyone has one.
That doesn't mean everyone wants to see them.
"I have a friend in Dusk Bay who likes to torture people with a vegetable peeler," Archer said.
We all turned to stare at him.
"Sounds like you know some interesting people," Boner remarked. "Maybe you could introduce me sometime."
"I think he'd like you," Archer said. "He's even more unhinged than you are."
"Take that back," Boner said, waggling his finger at Archer. "No one is more unhinged than I am."
"Believe me, he is," Archer said. "Harlow's torture box and my acid bath? They'd be child's play to this guy."
"Now I'm not just curious, I'm a little bit turned on," Boner said.
"Just when I think I've heard everything," Cass said softly. "You surprise me. All of you." He sighed.
I leaned over to wrap my arm around his shoulders.
"I feel like we've corrupted an innocent person. I should have said no when you started to get involved with all of this."
"You tried," he reminded me. "I was the one who got myself involved. It's just… The world is more fucked up than I thought it was. Which is saying something, because I had some idea."
Boner barked a laugh. "No offense, bro, but you have no idea how fucked up it really is out there. Trust me."
Archer hummed his agreement.
Cass leaned into me. "Promise me if you go anywhere to do what you did tonight, you'll let me know first."
He sounded tired, but he injected a hint of his bedroom dominance into the last few words, making certain I heard and understood.
"Promise," I whispered. "No more going off without letting you all know."
"That's all we ask," Cass said. "When Boner said you were missing, I assumed the worst."
I squeezed his shoulders. "We didn't mean to worry you."
"We worry because we love you," Boner said.
"Exactly," Cass agreed. "We were ready to burn the world down to find you."
"I’m right here," I told him. "I’m not going anywhere."
I never had people worried for me like this before. This was a promise I wouldn't break.