Chapter 8 #4
She was almost eight months pregnant and in that irritable stage.
Everything set her off. It was hard being around her when she was like that.
I was spending a lot of time at the gym, and I got paid pretty-decent money to spar.
I was hustling outside of that still and trying to expand the gym into some other shit.
But that underground fight club type shit kept paper rolling for me.
I was a monster when it came to battling it out in the ring.
“Just meeting with a new sponsor. What’s up?” I asked, slinging my bag over my shoulder.
“Lock, what the fuck is up? You been on some other shit for months now. Ever since—”
“Ever since what?” I prodded.
“I saw the fucking newspaper. Couldn’t miss Harbor splattered over the front page with some nigga all on her arm. Looks like she’s out there living her best life,” Alba enunciated with her arms up. “I know you must be feeling—”
“You don’t know what the fuck I’m feeling!” I snapped.
“Then talk to me!” she shouted back, exasperated.
“Ain’t shit to fucking talk about.” I gritted my teeth. “I gotta go. I’ll see you at the house later.” I stormed around her to go.
Alba was my best friend, and I loved her.
Our relationship was heavy and deep. There were things between us that could never even compare with me and Harbor.
Things ended so abruptly with us, and all that time, I’d been thinking the worst. Knowing that it was all the opposite only left me with more questions.
I did need closure. I wasn’t some weak ass, bitch ass nigga.
For two years I’d been wrapped up in that girl.
Loving her, getting to know her, and hoping one day that everything between us would become solid.
She was it. Alba was just my friend. I knew that she always had feelings for me, but I wasn’t as invested in the romantic part of us as she was.
I depended on her more as a friend than anything.
She was the one pushing the line. After Harbor disappeared, shit weakened me to Alba and her advances.
I knew that she genuinely cared, and nothing between us was artificial.
We were rooted together. That shit wasn’t going to ever go away.
When I pulled up to the Lawson house, I sat in my car, studying the home.
I could remember vividly all the times that I picked Harbor up or when we were chilling on the porch.
Planting my feet on the pavement, I used the sidewalk to the front door as it flung open.
Chaya, her stepmother, answered, carrying a baby boy on her shoulder and rocking from side to side with him against her chest.
“Lock, hello. Harold said that you were coming by. He’s in his office.” She stepped aside and let me enter.
The little man let out a loud burp, and Chaya chuckled while shaking her head.
“Cute kid,” I said, making sure I secured the door behind me.
“Thank you. Greedy kid.” She bounced him along into the living room.
I walked ahead to Harold’s office and tapped on the slightly open door before stepping inside. He was behind his desk, sipping his drink as I crossed over inside.
“Lock, have a seat.” He signaled to the chair across from his desk. “What brings you by?” Harold stared at me through the thin frames of his glasses.
“Someone came to see me… about Harbor. Have you heard from her?” I asked, slipping into the chair and leaning on the edge.
“I’ve been keeping up with current news. Seems that she made the front page.” He slammed the newspaper article down in front of me, and I was greeted with her smiling face again.
She was on the arm of this man, Frequency Roth, grinning like everything was right in the world. My nostrils flared, and my gaze met Harold’s across the desk.
“But no, I haven’t heard from her directly, and I don’t expect to.” He went back to what he was doing. “Harbor is selfish, self-sufficient, and resilient. I don’t know how she pulled all of this off—”
“And you don’t want to talk to her and find out?” I asked, frowning.
“I don’t have time for my daughter and her shit right now, Lock.”
“So you don’t want any kind of explanation for why she just left? I don’t know about you. That shit keeps me up at night. I can’t just… let it go.”
Harold paused and scrutinized me. He fisted the hair from his beard and reclined in his brown leather chair.
“You cared for her. I understand it. I, more than anybody, can understand that. Harbor is just like her mother. She’s strong-willed, and she can adjust to just about anything.
Halo was the exact same way. She was impulsive and thought short term.
You are better off moving on from her, Lock.
I know that might be easier said than done, but trust me when I say, if you go on this search for the truth, it could leave you more fucked up in the head than you are now,” Harold advised.
“Harbor Realty. Check it out. I plan to. You might want to believe that all of this is just who she is, but I can’t live with that shit.
You can write your daughter off… that’s not the kind of nigga I am.
I’m going to talk to her myself. I will get the answers that I need.
” I wasn’t about to waste my time debating with this man.
He felt the way that he did for a reason. She was his daughter. Maybe he knew her better than I did. Abruptly, I rose to my feet and moved toward the door.
“Lock!” His voice halted me in my steps. “Don’t expect too much from her. That’s how you set yourself up. I love my daughter, but trouble never lingers too far behind her.”
As I was leaving, Harmonie was coming in, and when she saw me, she was stunned.
“Lock. What are you doing here?” she asked, checking me out.
It had been a while since we’d seen one another. After Harbor was taken, things between us shifted too. Harmonie was a beautiful girl, and she reminded of her sister so in the beginning it did bring a slight comfort to have her around.
“Just talking to your father about something.”
“You mean about Harbor?” she questioned.
When I didn’t answer, she scoffed and shook her head.
“It’s fine. I’ve talked to him, and I’ve seen the newspaper. I guess life here with us mere mortals was just too much for my dear old sister.” Harmonie mocked.
“Yeah, I’m not sure I believe everything that I see,” I chimed in.
“Then you’re stupid. Harbor is far from dumb.
She’s calculated and manipulative. I can’t even think about seeing her right now, or I might fucking lose it.
After all this time, I can’t believe that you would even want to see her.
She lied. What kind of human being does what she did?
” I couldn’t tell if she was happy, sad, or angry.
Harmonie seemed to be going through a range of emotions.
This couldn’t be easy for her. Harbor was her sister, and they grew up together.
The fact that she took off the way that she did, it was bound to leave anyone with questions.
Bitterness and resentment had built up in her, and somehow, the shit came unleashing on me.
“Maybe you should talk to her about it instead of assuming the worst.”
“No, you go right ahead. If that’s what you need to soothe your soul, you do that, Lock.
All you’re going to find out is who she really is.
So make sure to keep yourself protected.
Harbor is like our mother. All that she cares about is herself.
She didn’t give a damn about what any of us were going through thinking the worst had happened to her.
And you had the nerve to feel guilty about what we did after she was gone. ” A smile danced in her eyes.
The last thing that I wanted or needed was to get involved with anything that was going to cause animosity.
Harmonie and I slipped up a few times when Harbor was first declared missing.
We were drunk and also drowning in guilt at the time.
I hadn’t seen her since the last time we linked up.
She was starting to get a little too clingy with a nigga, and I had to put some distance between us.
Plus, I had Alba to deal with and, eventually, a baby on the way and some other shit I was trying to get off the ground.
Harmonie was a distraction a nigga couldn’t afford.
She and Harbor actually were nothing alike in retrospect.
That girl left a hole in a nigga’s heart that nobody could fill.
During that time I was unwilling to let go of it.
I was raised in the streets, and one thing that would never flee me was my hustle.
If anything, I went harder because of everything that I’d been through.
Confronting Harbor felt like I was about to go head up with an enemy, and I didn’t like that feeling.