Chapter 1
“Iknow what’s on your mind, you think I’m doing wrong…”
Harbor
The floor might as well have disappeared underneath me.
Staring back at Frequency, rage flicked like a switch inside me.
My spine stiffened, forcing my shoulders back while I pulled myself together.
He blinked but didn’t speak, which only set me off even more.
I’d become fluent on Frequency and his body language since he didn’t do a lot of talking.
His eyes spoke long before he used the instrument that was his voice, a medley that I loved to hear when he was pushing himself deep inside of me.
“Answer the question!” I hissed, finally able to pull myself from the wall and get in his face.
Burying his face in his hands, he took a breath and backed away from me.
His head moved from side to side. Taking me by the arm, he dragged me nearby into his office.
I yanked out of his grasp as he shoved me inside and closed the door behind us.
Spinning where I stood, wrath filled my eyes when I looked at him.
“I heard you! I heard you with your father! And I heard my mother’s name. Tell me the truth!” I shrieked.
“Calm the fuck down!” He barked back at me, a crease wrinkling his forehead.
My agitation annoyed him.
“You said this was about my father, so what does my mother have to do with any of this! What is all of this about? Have you just been lying and mind fucking me this entire time?” I grasped each side of my head with my hands, feeling like I was going crazy as I paced with a racing pulse.
“This ain’t my shit to tell, Harbor,” he said, his tone practically begging me to let this go.
“Where is she? Where is my mama? All this time we thought she just ran off, just like me? You got her locked away somewhere, too? You go around kidnapping on a regular? Are you trafficking women?”
His hands went into his pockets and he narrowed his eyes into thin slits at me.
“I’m not about to talk to you like this. I’ll tell you what though, you’ve got the answers. All you have to do is hit up the source. Talk to your father about what happened to your mother,” he said, keeping too damn calm for my liking.
A wave of shock glazed my eyes over and my words became stuck in my throat.
Shuddering where I stood, I couldn’t keep still, and the drumming beat of my heart in my ears overwhelmed me.
Clutching my chest, it felt like all of the air had been sucked out of the room and I couldn’t breathe.
Suddenly sick, I doubled over, grasping my stomach.
Frequency was behind me as I closed my eyes.
“I can’t… bre—breathe…” I gasped and he eased me down into a chair and knelt in front of me.
Grabbing both of my hands, he held them against his and stared into my face.
“Take a deep inhale, close your eyes, and be still,” he urged, his voice alarmingly calming as I did what he said.
When I came down off my panic attack and opened my eyes, he watched me with concern.
I snatched away from him and brought both hands to the arms of the chair, lifting myself from it.
He remained knelt in front of me and I glared down at him.
Toxic ass. He knew what he was doing and still, I couldn’t help but fall for it.
“I want the truth,” I said, mouth tight.
“Then I’m not the one to give it to you.” His answer was somber.
He knew something.
“An order was carried out. I get paid to do a job, so do the people that I work with. We don’t discriminate and the shit isn’t personal. So if you want to know what happened, then you start within your own fucking family.” That was it, that was all he had to say.
I could see that I wasn’t going to pull anything else out of him. He was like a block of stone as he brought himself to a standing position.
“Fine. I need a car.” I headed straight for the door.
I knew eventually I would have to face my father.
I just didn’t think it would be under these circumstances.
My soul was stirred. I felt ill… literally.
My stomach bubbled and did flips. After I changed into a casual romper with a pair of St. Laurent slides, I descended the stairs of Frequency’s home, and he waited for me at the bottom.
Our eyes linked instantly, and he rested against the wraparound railing.
“What are you going to do?” he questioned.
“I’m going to get answers,” I replied.
“What if they aren’t what you want to hear?” He pressed.
“Then that’s up to me how to deal with it,” I countered, attempting to step past him.
Extending his arm in front of me, Frequency stopped me where I stood.
My eyes drifted from his arm, up into his face.
I had grown accustomed to looking at him.
He was so handsome, and his eyes always told a story.
I wanted to know the man behind that. This…
him giving me pieces of himself, that would never work.
I was greedy, I wanted it all, and I didn’t want to settle for it.
Now that I knew that there was something out there that could possibly make me feel as good as what we had, there was no way I was going to go through life without.
Mediocre. He might have been okay with living like that, but not me.
“I let my guard down with you. I let sex between us cloud rationality and anything else. That won’t happen again. The only thing we have to discuss is business, because clearly I can’t trust you to keep it a stack about anything else.”
He swiped the tip of his nose, and a flash of anger sparked behind his pretty ass eyes. I had pressed a button, and he didn’t want me to notice.
“Deviance will drive you. Be careful.” He held the front door open for me and let me out.
I marched right over to the waiting car and got inside.
I gave him the address and he pulled away from the immaculate home to my destination.
The drive was about 45 minutes from where Frequency’s massive castle was located.
Nervous knots formed in my stomach as I kept my eyes on the street and tried to gather what I wanted to say once I saw my father.
My palms were sweaty and shaky. Deviance wheeled in front of the home that I was raised in, and I was hit with a slew of memories.
Taking in a deep breath, I remained seated gaping at the home that somehow seemed smaller now.
Or maybe I was seeing things differently.
Crazy how much a year’s time altered everything.
Clutching the YSL satchel bag that Frequency copped me as a gift a few weeks ago, I waited for Deviance to open the door and let me out.
He closed it behind me, remaining at my side as I stared through my Dolce shades at the perfectly manicured lawn and landscaping.
This was once what I considered home, now it just felt like another house.
A few of the neighbors were out, being nosy and watching me as I examined the structure before me. My feet wouldn’t move. Deviance crossed both of his big arms in front of him and peered up and down the street.
“You going up there?” His deep, husky voice questioned me.
“Just trying to work up my nerve.” I muttered, taking my glasses off as the front door opened.
Harmonie sauntered out, dressed like she was on her way to the gym with a backpack slung over her shoulder and a water bottle in her hand. As soon as she turned around and saw me, she stopped where she stood.
“Harbor?” she asked, taking the steps down to the sidewalk.
I glanced at Deviance and decided to meet her halfway. She kept a couple feet of distance and looked me over in my designer labels.
“Looking good,” she complimented, tilting her head to the side. “Must be nice, not to have a care in the world except yourself.”
“Is daddy here?” With an annoyed huff, I asked.
“He’s inside. Why are you even here?” She turned her nose up and squinted through the bright sunlight beaming down on us. “What the fuck were you thinking, Harbor? I hope it was all worth it.”
There was resentment and a pound of hate behind her statement. Somehow, I bet her narcissistic ass had made it all about her in the long run. She was still living here after all and she was over the age of twenty-five.
“Hmm, well, good thing I don’t care what you think, Harmonie. You and daddy would have jumped to your own conclusions, whether I told you the truth or not.” My neck rolled with attitude when I spoke to her.
“Oh, so I see you just went and got an entirely different outlook on life? Mmkay, sis.” She chuckled, but I knew that shit was all an act.
She was bitter, and jealous. Harmonie was always able to hide that part of herself a lot better than she was in this moment. Without me around, she came to look like the fuck up that she was. I was expected to do good and be better, but not her.
Sucking my teeth, I brushed past her. “Whatever, Harmonie.”
“Well don’t walk off too fast, baby sister.” She called after me. “I saw the paper, you all hugged up with that fine ass, Frequency Roth. Chile, every bitch within a hundred miles trying to push up on that. How the fuck did your simple ass snag him?” she asked, lips poking out playfully.
Same old Harmonie. She was always looking for the finest nigga with the biggest wallet and dick to match. If he was lacking in that lower area, she’d just use him until she had drained all that she could from his pockets.
“What are you up to these days, Harmonie? Who is your latest sponsor?”
“Hmm, why you so worried about me? The last year has treated you just fine, hasn’t it?”
“You don’t know the half of it.” I muttered, starting up the staircase.
Not feeling comfortable enough to walk inside like I had so many times before, I rang the doorbell.
My sister checked out Deviance, parked right at the Maybach, arms tucked across his chest, .
40 caliber resting on his waistband. He looked intimidating; ready and waiting at all times.
Frequency kept a soldier on his team, that much I was very aware of thanks to the past year.