Chapter 1 #5
“Are you mad about something?” Ivy’s voice asked from the doorway.
In her joggers and a tank top, she wandered inside. I grabbed my bottle of water off a nearby table and twisted the cap off to take a swallow. After a few breaths, I was able to talk without passing out.
“Nah, just working some shit out. What’s up, what you doing down here?” I questioned, watching her look around until she climbed on the treadmill and toyed with a few buttons to start it up.
“Nothing. Dinner is almost done, so Celine wanted me to let you know,” she answered, remaining nonchalant even though I sensed that something else was on her mind.
I took a seat on my weight bench and set the bottle on the floor beside my feet.
“Come over here and spot me.” I instructed, leaning back on the bench.
She did as she was told and stood at my side while I did my presses.
“So, what’s up? How’s school going?” I asked, taking a deep breath and removing the weights from the resting bar.
“Going ok.” She shrugged one shoulder and tucked her arms over her chest while watching me.
“Anything you want to talk to me about?” I prodded, glancing at her while lowering the weights and wincing.
“Like what?” She gave me that annoyed ass stare.
“I don’t know. Anything.” I replied, pumping upward again.
“Like my mother?” she questioned.
“Sure, if that’s what you want.” I answered, eyes on the ceiling.
“Why don’t you talk about her? Why aren’t there any pictures around here?” she interrogated.
I brought the weights back to the resting bar and gradually sat up.
“Well, it’s not easy for me, Ivy. I love your mother very much.
She’s the first woman that was able to make me love someone outside of myself.
She showed me what that was like, and she set the bar pretty high.
” I concluded, chest heaving as I sucked in a few breaths.
“It hurts, seeing pictures of her, not having her, and looking at you. I try not to let it get to me, but… you are her twin, baby girl. You are beautiful and smart, and feisty. That part you got from me, because your mama was soft on the inside.” A small smile fell on my lips and she continued to study me.
“Is that why you let auntie Denia keep me for so long after mama died?” she asked softly.
“Yeah, it was part of it,” I said, nodding while bringing myself into a standing position.
“The other part is my job. I stay busy, and I have to drop stuff all the time and take off. Things are finally settling down to where I don’t have to do that as much anymore though.
I’m switching career lanes, and that’s going to make me available for time with you.
So, what do you want to do? Pick the activity. ”
“Can we go to Kings Dominion?” she asked, excitement lighting up her face like she was the sun.
Chuckling, I shook my head at my child before I nodded, licked my lips, and glanced up at her.
“Yeah, we can do that,” I agreed.
“Just us… maybe Harbor?” she suggested softly.
Both of my brows knitted out of concern as I looked down my nose at her questionably. She was at an odd phase in life. No longer a baby, but not quite an adult ready for the world. She was chaste, pure.
“Harbor? You sure you don’t want it to be just us?”
“Yeah, I definitely want the me and you time. But… I guess it wouldn’t be too terrible if she tagged along.
She’s… not so bad. At first, I thought I hated her.
Sometimes I pretend like I still do. But…
she seems like she’s going through something.
She’s sad, and I don’t think she has… anybody. ” Ivy conveyed.
My daughter was showing signs of being a human being that could display empathy, and it made me proud.
That’s all I wanted. For her to be able to relate and show love to those around her.
Most people only cared about themselves.
The fact that she was even able to observe that about Harbor said a lot.
“Tell you what, you ask her. See what she says. I’m gonna go get cleaned up. Tell Celine I will be down in a minute.”
“Okay.” She spun around and skipped toward the door.
I shook my head after her. I was being childish, using my own child to get closer to a woman.
Right now, it was all I had. Harbor was feeling some kind of way about everything, and I wanted to help her get her life back together.
She didn’t know it, but a nigga would do just about anything in his power to make that happen.
I didn’t plan it, but she was now part of an inner circle that I kept tight, and my people were always protected and taken care of, that was mandatory.
By the time I got down to dinner, the table was set, and everyone was seated.
The first thing I noticed when I sat down was that Harbor wasn’t there.
Keeping a calm demeanor, my eyes fell on the chair she normally sat in, and then on Celine, who typically sat to my right.
She lifted one skeptical brow back at me.
I grabbed my napkin and placed it in my lap.
The phone behind me rang as I bowed my head to say grace.
It was the line the guards called when someone was on site.
Sighing, hating being interrupted when I was eating, I picked up.
“What’s good, D?”
“Kara is coming up,” he responded.
“A’ight. Thanks.” Placing the cordless back onto the base, I turned back to the table and stacked my plate with food.
If she was just getting back, she probably wasn’t hungry, but I sure in the hell was. I heard the front door open and then her voice carried back to the dining room. Ivy smirked. She loved her crazy, free spirited ass auntie.
“Damn, something smells good.” She sailed inside and grabbed a drum from the pile of wings that were stacked on a platter.
I watched her bite into it like she was in fact starving as she closed her eyes and sank into the seat beside Ivy.
“Celine, these are so good. Popeyes ain’t got shit on you, girl.” Kara chewed and I did my best to ignore her ass.
Celine laughed like she always did. She’d been around us our whole life.
To me she was family, fuck the DNA. This woman was connected to me in a way that not many people were.
The fact that she didn’t have any family or children of her own always saddened me for her because I believed that she deserved it.
Celine was a warrior though. She was old school and knew how to enforce tough love.
She gave you mad Claire Huxtable vibes because she would check you with class in a heartbeat.
Karrin, my actual mother, was the complete opposite.
It was crazy how I was closer to Celine than I had ever been to her.
My mind wasn’t at the table anymore. I wanted to eat and then go check on Harbor, but I wasn’t trying to crowd her or no shit like that.
She seemed like she had a lot in her head.
The last thing I wanted was to add to her stress.
After smashing my food, Celine brought in dessert, and a nigga made room for that too.
Stuffed wasn’t even an accurate description when I was done.
I fell back in my chair and felt like I needed to go walk some shit off.
“Ivy, get ready for school, and I will come tuck you in.”
“Tuck me in? Daddy, I’m twelve.” Sucking her teeth, she rolled her eyes.
“Where’s Harbor?” Kara queried, eyes on me as I rose from my chair.
“You asking me, why?” I countered, shocking her with my tone.
I was agitated, that was for damn sure. A nigga needed something wet to get into, and all I wanted was to dive into was Harbor’s slippery ass sea.
Just the thought of it left my chest tight and not having it was like a trigger switch for pure rage.
I was ready to go tit for tat with any fucking body.
“What is wrong with you? It was a question. I talked to Karmine, by the way. He told me an interesting little story about you and her. Still like playing with things you shouldn’t, huh big brother?” She teased and leaned forward to reach for another wing.
“Daddy, what is she talking about?” Ivy questioned, glancing up with her big brown eyes misting.
“Ivy, you are a child, this doesn’t concern you.
Get ready for bed.” I watched her do as she was told and focused on my sister.
“Kara, you sure know how to wear out your fucking welcome. You’ve been here for how long and why?
These niggas starting to see that you’ve put a lot of miles on that a little too early in life?
” I insulted her, and a flicker of hate flashed across her eyes.
“Go to hell, Quency! You sit around this big ass house brooding like the king of the fucking castle and you’re miserable as hell! You don’t let anyone in!”
“And you let every fucking body in, Kara!” I barked, silencing her. “Anybody that gives you a fucking compliment or follows you like a fucking sheep! You come here and want to party and shop, but don’t want to work for shit.”
“And why the fuck should I! I don’t have to! Our parents have more than enough money to spare, and so do you for that matter! If I want to be a socialite what the fuck is wrong with that?”
“You’re not going to bring that shit around my daughter.” I growled, meaning every fucking syllable. “And Europe is better for that scene.”
“You can’t force me out, brother.” She scooted her chair from the table angrily. “This isn’t just your house.”
“Actually it is, Kut and Karrin turned it all over to me when they left years ago. I pay the taxes and provide the upkeep. I’m being considerate by letting you all stay here when you visit.”
“Fine. I’ll leave.” She shrugged like a big ass kid. “But I’m not going back to Europe. I guess I’ll see you around.”
I was sure to spaz the fuck out if I stuck around. Deciding to step out for the evening and get some fucking air, I went to my bedroom to get dressed. My home was suffocating, and I didn’t know where the hell I was going. I just had to put some distance between me and everything else right now.