13. Secret
Secret
Nash
W illa just left me at the table, and what is it with her throwing money down? I saw her run in the direction of the bathroom, so I have some time to figure out my next move. I am stunned she did not even let me say a word before she took off, but I also completely understand the feeling of how can this, us, be. My Lita came over and hugged me, saying she saw and heard all, but to give Willa time. Nodding my head as if I understood, I knew I could not give Willa time. Any time away from her left my brain in a fog and unable to concentrate. So I walk over to the bathroom door and wait for her to come out.
Ten minutes later she finally does, swinging the door open, and her face is flushed from tears. “What, what are you still doing here? Did you not hear me last time? There is NO us , Nash.”
Grabbing her by the wrist, I pull us inside the bathroom and push her up against the door. Holding her wrists above her head in one hand, I stroke my other hand down her face.
“Willa, there is going to be an us because that is how strongly I feel about there being an US. If you need me to talk to your parents I will. If you need me to tell my dad to shove it about your family's land, I will. I did not almost die once too come back here and be alone. Whatever you need me to do, to ensure there is an us, tell me, baby. Just tell me. You are worth it. There is this pull to you that I do not think I can break even if I wanted to.”
She cries in my arms, “Why does this hurt so bad?”
“Because falling in love hurts.” She looks unsteadily at my face and back down to her hand where I can see her turning a ring on her right index finger. I lean down to kiss her on top of her forehead. “I am so sorry I withheld this information from you. I needed to get my thoughts and emotions in order about you, about us. I swear I am not the villain here. Tell me, baby, tell me what you need from me?” I run my fingers through her fiery hair and back down her face. Her walking out without me is not an option.
“I need you to explain a few things to me,” she whispers as she opens the bathroom door and pulls me into the hallway of pictures.
“Do you know how this is? “ She asks as she points to a lady I remember seeing through family photos.
“I am not really sure, but I can tell you the woman next to her is my grandmother, and this other woman is in several pictures throughout my family albums. Why?”
“That other woman is my granny. And in this picture, not only do I see my granny, but also my grandpa, standing next to what I now know are your grandparents. What could this possibly mean? And is it a coincidence that you were in the Army the same as my Grandpa with that exact same badge?” She points out.
“I know nothing, Willa, I swear. I never cared to ask who else were in these pictures because I was young when we would go through photo albums of the past. And never really paid attention to what Rosa had hung up. I did not even know she had this picture. I know I had unknown connections that others always spoke about, so it pushed me harder to earn my place because I seemed to move up fairly quickly compared to fellow comrades,'' I say, pointing at the one from my time in the Army. “This badge was given to me as soon as I enlisted. My grandmother gave it to me and said it was from a dear friend who served.” Stopping, I think over what we are looking at. “Come on, let us go talk to Rosa and see what she knows.” Taking Willa by the hand, we head to the back of the restaurant to the office.
“I was wondering how long it would take the two of you to come find me,” my Lita says.
“Well we are here now, so please share what you know, Lita.” I plead. “Did you know who she was when I brought her in?” She nods her head to say yes. Willa sits down next to her and takes her hands into her own.
“Please, Rosa.” Willa asks.
“I do not feel this is my story to tell, but I am not sure anyone left can tell the story more accurately than me. Of course I knew who Willa was as soon as she walked in because she looks just like her beautiful grandma, especially with that long red hair and those bright sky blue eyes. It skips generations therefore that is why your father has black hair like your grandpa. But you, my lovely, are a spitting image of your Grandma Ellie. I am sure you have been told that all your life, but it is true.” Willa nods her head in agreement.
“Let me start from the beginning. Both of your grandparents were best friends growing up since I believe the age of six. Inseparable duo. I did not meet them until my twenties. Willa, I met your grandma first. We met on the army base we were living on with our husbands. Our husbands were in the same battalion, as we had just been transferred back to Texas from North Carolina. We were so happy to be back in our home state, but we still knew no one that far south. Ellie soon took me in as we sent our men off to war overseas. They were gone for months, with very little correspondence in between, so it was really hard, especially back then without all the technology we have now.”
“Anyways, Ellie brought me into her inner circle that included your grandma, Nash. It seemed your Grandma Lainey was on base every weekend with Ellie or vice versa. So wherever they went, they brought me along. Ellie and Lainey were so much fun to be around, and everyone enjoyed being in their presence. Our men came home for a short stent, and at that time, Lainey had met your grandpa, Nash. Mr. Jacob Benedict Holdings himself. Already coming from a long line of old money and business in oil. He seemed to blend well with our group. They seemed so in love, and somehow, Lainey convinced him to pull off a quick extravagant wedding before our own husbands were shipped back overseas. Luckily Jacob’s parents already loved Lainey as she came from an influential family herself. All about prestige back then.”
“Fast forward many years later, Willa, your grandpa Henry had moved up the ranks as he felt that was his calling. He wanted to be the best while serving his country. My husband, Ricky, decided after the last tour they had, he was willing to stay on active duty but wanted to live a life as a civilian, so we found a small piece of land and started a family, with the dream of owning our own restaurant. With Ellie still being an army wife, Lainey and I grew closer, our husbands grew closer along with Jacob offering to be an investor to our dream.”
Patting my hand, she continues, “We will always be the most thankful to your grandparents.” Then she turns back to Willa. “Your grandparents bought that land after your grandpa became a lieutenant. On some vacation they had out west, Ellie fell in love with horses and the “easy” life she called it. She wanted her own dream, so with their savings, they bought the ranch so she had a place to make her dream a reality, and he would come home for a few weeks at a time or on weekends, depending on what was going on at the base. Us women became each other's family, sisters some would say. We helped her build what it was until your parents took over.”
Lita pauses with grimace. “Unbeknown to any of us, every time we were out there and Jacob tagged a long, he was taking soil samples from the land. There was a spot off the pond where oil had surfaced. Ellie had Jacob look at it because she was unsure, and he had told her it was nothing to worry about. It was just swampy mud from the pond running over during storms. She thought nothing of it, but Jacob kept it to himself. Push forward a year later, Jacob has a conversation with Henry over the land, letting him know there was oil there and begins to push him to sell so Jacob could start drilling. Ellie was beside herself. She had finally gotten the place as she wanted, they had just purchased several horses and two cabins to build to rent out. Ellie also had the vision of a horse sanctuary. She wanted to rescue the horses that were being pushed off their land and sold off. So she was an adamant no, and Henry chose his wife's happiness over wealth. And he promised her never to go back on that. He wanted nothing more than to have her dream as he had his with his career and her. It gave her peace when he was stationed elsewhere. Henry knew if something ever happened to him, she would still have their home. It became a sore subject and was not talked much amongst us.”
“Jacob did not come around as often, and over time, we all just settled within our busy lives, seeing each other every often. All of the kids were around the same age, so they were friends and went to school together, so that helped us stay together. Several years later, now we were in our late thirties, Henry and Ellie had a huge fight over their son, your dad, Willa, going into the Army, which found Henry over at the Holdings house and Ellie at mine. Jacob did not like that Henry and Lainey were so close, but they were because of Ellie. Jacob wanted to take advantage of it and threatened Lainey with divorce to take advantage of Henry in this delicate state. Him and Ellie never fought, but he felt strongly about sending your father in the army to serve his country like he did. Ellie wanted him to have a different life, and your father seemed to feel the same. It all is so sad and twisted, but Lainey felt she had no choice or she would lose everything, including her two children. Over the next month or so, she pursued Henry behind Ellie's back, and in a moment of weakness, Henry caved. Lainey gave him the answers that Ellie would not. She made him feel like a “man,” that he was right about everything and boosted his ego. Sure enough, when he fell into bed with Lainey, Jacob was right there to pursue blackmail. He threatened to tell Ellie about the affair unless he sold the rights to that part of the land so he could drill. Talk about a small town scandal.”
Willa and I look at each other and realize this is not about oil, but our own grandparents' faults. That this is way deeper than we could have imagined.
Lita continues after taking a drink of water. “Henry was beside himself, and after punching Jacob out, Lainey confessed everything. They both went to see Ellie and told her what happened. I just so happened to be there, dropping off some food, and heard it all. Ellie was beside herself and kicked Henry out. Then determined as she was, turned around and blackmailed Jacob, said she would let everyone know what a shady businessman he was, using his wife to seduce men for oil plots. Threatened to run his family name in the ground and out of town. Jacob had no choice but to back down. As upset as she was with Lainey, she also threatened that he would never leave her or their kids. To never do her wrong again or she would come for him.” My brows hit my hairline at that. Ruthless. “With that, she cut all ties to the Holdings, and after a while, us too. She eventually took Henry back because she realized her heart hurt more without him than it would with him. She finally forgave him and that piece is history.”
She laughs as she looks between us. “It is funny how your two dads grew up best friends, but after that, they never spoke again. Went off and did their own things and were cordial when they crossed paths. My little Selena and Luis were on the back end of it all. They tried to remain friends with both, but over time, it seemed Nash's dad was the only one willing to remain friends with my kids. So we have stayed close to the Holdings. When Jacob passed several years ago, it was the first time I saw Lainey genuinely feel relieved and smile. Like she felt freed from her past, but I could tell her heart was still broken over losing Ellie. She even went to Ellie’s funeral, standing off behind a tree. I have gone with her several times to visit Ellie’s grave also. The same for Henry’s. We were there, watching you grow up from afar, Willa.”
Grabbing my arm, she looks straight at me as she continues, “Back when your grandmother still had her wits about her, she used to talk about the two of you being together. Said she had dreams of if life had taken a different path. Of how they would have remained close until the end, while their kids and grandkids grew up together and maybe merge the two families. That would make her heart full because every Holdings needs a Bennett/Crenshaw in their life. Desperate to break the past. Because she knew what kind of lady you would be, Willa, and how Nash was being raised, that the two of you would be a match on fire if it ever happened. She has even prayed over Ellie’s grave about it. Now look at the two of you.” Lita smiles, standing up to bring both of us in her arms for a hug. “Look, I am not sure what story either side knows or believes, but making them forgive and move past it will not be easy. It would be worth seeing if Lainey can speak to it because all she ever wanted was Ellie's forgiveness after all of it. And Lainey knew that Ellie threatened Jacob to never leave her. So she has always been thankful for that.”
“Is it wrong that I really hate my dead grandfather now?” I growl.
“Oh, my neito, this was never to be your burden to carry. Forgive and move on. The outcome is now. This is what the two of you have control over. I know this makes my heart full, so I can only imagine what it would do for Ellie and Lainey. So please, do not let this pass. It is as if the divine has stepped in on their behalf.”
We both hug her again and thank her and proceed to walk to my truck. Both not saying a word. Both not knowing how to tread this situation. The only thing I know is I am not losing this woman because of selfish past mistakes.