14. FlightFight
Flight or Fight
Amity
I ’m two days in post-shock of Gage reaching out. Blake has been a saint, dealing with my rollercoaster of emotions. I feel so angry at Gage, furious at myself for letting my guard down, and scared to death of what he might do because I know what he is capable of. Fearing what he could do to those closest to me, just to get to me. I put nothing past the man I once knew, even more so to what he could have become. Right now, I’m hunkered down at Blake’s apartment with guards at the door. Knowing tomorrow, I need to leave here and go on with my life, with my job without fear. With fear, he already has a hold on me. Something I refuse to immerse myself in. I have guards that will be following my every move, plus Blake who is determined to be at school with me all week. He is also working with Nash to track Gage down. Bringing in all the top-tier people they know to help find him.
I’ve asked to cancel or move the wedding with no avail. If anything, Blake is thinking of moving it up to throw everyone off and make it more intimate. I told him I will not be in a mindset to marry until I know we are all safe. I will marry him when I no longer feel like my life has been violated and unhinged. For him, he is determined to murder him. Blake’s recent demeanor has been more intense than I could have imagined. I have always known he has a devilish side, but recently, I could swear his baby blues are coated in blood red. Murder is the only course of action he deems acceptable. I, of course, just want him gone, but not by Blake’s hands or by anyone else I know. I’m not sure that I can live with that when all is said and done.
* * *
The past two weeks have been quiet. I leave the apartment with Blake, go straight to school, followed by bodyguards, then come straight home afterwards. No going out to eat or to the bar with my girls. They, of course, are wonderful and bring the bar life to me for a few hours. I’ve not even been back to the ranch, which I think is worse than missing all the other usual activities. Blake said maybe we can go out on Sunday, so I can at least visit and ride Nevada. He can sense me snapping soon, and then all hell will break loose.
Today we pull up to my apartment so I can check the mail and grab a few items. I wasn’t worried walking into my apartment as no damage was actually done, plus I have Mutant one and two going ahead of me. They exude Blake’s madman personality on steroids. When I walk in, I realize I miss my space, but then I look over at my coffee table where there is a vase filled with at least two dozen yellow roses.
“What the fuck?” I hear Blake say, coming up behind me. He beats me to them, opening the card. “My dearest, Amity, Maybe I was too blunt last time, which caused you to run with your tail between your legs. Don’t worry though, I know where you are and where you go. Tell your boy toy to back off, before I bring his whole company down. On another note, please enjoy the flowers per an act of friendship. Because maybe that is where we need to start after all this time. In time, I am sure you will love me again. See you soon, my wildflower.” Blake reads the note out loud, and for the life of me, I can’t fathom how they even got inside without security catching him or his lackey.
Blake is on the phone in an instant. “Nash, I know who is sabotaging us…” Fucking Gage. “I have all the proof we need in a card he sent Amity…yes, fuck, he sent more.” He kicks the ottoman, sending it flying across the room. Turning to my left, I spot Mutant one on the phone with the detective on my case. I sink to the couch, curling up into a ball, as those around me handle the shit show that has become my life.
* * *
Blake
I'm at a loss for words right now. Amity is crawling the walls already, and now this bullshit. We have several leads on Gage's whereabouts, but every time we get close, he moves. As much as I prefer his blood on my hands to know he is done for, I know in my heart Amity would never look at me the same. I need to find him and turn him over. Detective Barge has talked to me about setting a trap to lure him out with Amity as bait. Up till now, that has been a hard no from me. Now that idea might be worthwhile. Only if I can guarantee her safety.
Rocking on my heels in my home office, I call him to discuss the details. By the time we have run through the plan for the tenth time, it seems solid. The kicker is, Amity can’t know she is bait. We can’t take the chance of her body language to show something awry. Plus, I have to talk Nash into letting Willa take her out to the bar and be involved unknowingly also. I run my palm down my face then fist my hair in both hands. I’ve been trying with all my means to be strong for Amity. To keep my own fears in check, but this shit is real. She thought I was crazy for letting loose on her after the bull incident. That was child’s play compared to what I’m fucking feeling right now. I need to be her rock, her protector.
I’ve kept away from being sexual and intimate with her, fear of what might shake up in her or even my own self. Like I’m worried to even let my guard down enough in fear of breaking down in front of her or allowing Gage to wedge his way in. Fuck! Maybe he already has . Amity and I are living like college roommates right now with a dog. We barely talk, eat meals in silence, and sleep facing away from each other. Both of us, unsure of what’s to come but too stubborn to talk about any of it. This is where I need her to talk first. Set the boundary for me. Let me in to help her so I know what our next move is together.
The girls have been great coming around and so have her parents and mine. They bring food over and games to keep our minds off the looming predator. Of course, they are all covered with extra security. No one complains, and we are all taking this day by day. My girl though is a hard-ass as much as she is a badass, which is why it has been so hard to break her shield with all of this going on. She took forever to even open-up about her past, now two months later, she is faced with the nightmare again. Her screams are louder now while she sleeps. Waking in the morning drenched in sweat. I haven’t slept in days watching over her. Whether I’m trying to wake her from her terror, or rock her back to sleep. Her blood curdling screams haunt my mind when I close my eyes. Visions of her being accosted by a sick man who claims he loves her. On top of that, the first week she binge ate, now I have to practically force feed her. Honestly, if she snaps, I’m a goner. There will be no pulling me out of the abyss until her life is safe. Even over my own.