13. Sophia
13
Sophia
Unexpectedly, Javi had turned up and I am jabbering on excitedly about a light bulb moment I had with the adjustments the team was working on through today. Work distraction. Why didn’t I think of it before? I am thinking all about Mum. She is the reason I love this sport. The one who supported me in getting into the mechanical side of the sport once I had my accident, broke my leg, and was out of the National motocross comps. Mum radiated through me while I worked on the bike, and now, I am on a high from her memory.
I’m poking the laptop screen, unable to contain my excitement while poor Javi is standing there, clearly overwhelmed by my rampage. I get to the end of my info dump on him and take a breath. I didn’t realise I had moved so close to him. I’ve pressed my body flush against his side, my arm feeling his smooth skin. This close, I can see the finer details in his heavily tattooed arms. The contrast of his blacks and greys against my pale, empty skin. His muscles, unflexed, are still lean under his skin, unabashedly peeking out from under the sleeve of his tee. I have a flash of what those arms might look like wrapped around my waist, feeling the easy squeeze of them, pulling me closer to his firm body. A dirty smirk crosses my face. I can feel it but can’t stop it from appearing while my imagination runs wild and my breath hitches at the dreamy thought. This isn’t what I should be thinking about with a colleague, especially the rider on my team, but, fuck , has his lips always looked this kissable? He hasn’t stopped looking at me with those soulful, brown eyes. What could happen? Could this bench take it?
“Make I should go,” he mutters, but I can hear the uncertainty in his voice. Does he feel this too? Am I actually feeling something ? Something other than numb? I glance down his body and can definitely see he is hard. His erection pushing against his sweats. Thank you to the inventor of grey sweatpants. There is no hiding in them and my heart rate picks up. He sways his body like he is trying to convince his feet to move when I place my hand on his, resting on the bench. I’ve never made a bold move like this before, but I need to chase this feeling. The veil is lifting off my numbness. Was it because of our conversation over lunch that sparked my inspiration to work on the bike on my own, and finally feel again? It is nice to be looked at so closely again, to see the want in someone’s eyes instead of pity. Feel the heat in their eyes travel through me, defrosting me.
He’s inert, but darts his eyes to my hand resting on his, then back to my eyes.
He turns to face me and puts his other hand on top of mine. I worry he will take my hand off and leave. Instead, his face softens, and he asks, “Are you sure?”
My chest tightens and I breathe out, “Yes.”
“Because I will be relentless,” he whispers as he squeezes my hand gently.
“Please,” I can only whisper out, our staring never breaking.
“Anything you want, ace,” he says, moving to erase the space, head tilting down to meet mine. He dips his face to my neck, teasing me, kissing me so softly, building this up. I can feel his hands at my waist, squeezing and bringing me closer to him, into him, feeling his hardness pressed against me. He breathes me in and finally lifts his face to mine, kissing my lips. My head is a swirl of lust and wanting and I sink into his body, relaxed but fevered. My hands glide against his arms and over every tattooed ridge as he encircles his arms around me. A moan escapes my lips at my imagination coming true, at it feeling so much better than I could have imagined. His kissing is hard and consuming, paired with his hands that are running all along my body, squeezing and holding. His surprising scent of watermelon is intoxicating and heady.
His hands run down my ass to the back of my thighs, and his fingers dig in to hoist me effortlessly to sit on the bench, putting me at his hip height. He breaks away and lifts the front of my shirt to bunch up under my chin. Revealing my plain, red bra. He pulls the cups down and his mouth dances across each of my breasts, sucking, licking, biting. My head falls backwards and my hands grip at his broad shoulders. The sensation pushes me closer to the brink, panting and sighing.
His mouth is back on my lips and his hands travels further down, teasing down my torso, until they get to my hips.
“Yooo! Javi?!” We freeze. “Javi?!”
We scramble away from each other and straighten our hair and clothes, assuming innocent positions before Riley enters the pit box.
“Hey! Sorry for my mishap. I got a cab over from the hotel to pick you up for dinner. Heya, Sophia!” Riley exclaims brightly to us with a wave.
“Hey, Riley,” I quietly reply and return to my laptop, trying to hide the flush of my face. I ignore the conversation between the two of them while I tried to steady my racing heart.
“Sophia?” Javi’s voice cracks through my thoughts.
“Yeah?” I blink a few times, looking over at him.
“We’re heading off, if you wanted to come to dinner with us? Otherwise we can drop you off at the hotel?” Javi offers, his eyes looking kindly at me.
“Yeah, a ride back to the hotel sounds good. Thanks. I’ve had enough fun for the night,” I reply.
Javi smirks, his back to Riley. “Of course. Whatever you need.”
I attempt to clear up the bench like we didn’t just almost fuck on there. That’s all I can see whenever I look at the bench now. I give up and take my laptop, shutting everything down in the pit.
Riley, Javi, and I walk silently to the front gates of the track where the cab Riley came over in is still outside waiting.
Javi and I get into the back while Riley sits in the front, chatting away to the driver, filling the air of the cab with the sound of their voices.
Looking out of the window, I try to ignore the deluge of emotions that chose now to rise and suffocate me. I try to rein in and identify my overwhelming feelings, or at least hold out until I get into my hotel room to flip out. Concentrating on my breathing, I shut my eyes, blocking everything I can. A warm hand engulfs mine, and I look up to see Javi looking at me with concerned eyes. Everything is silenced, except the increased volume of my heartbeat thundering through my ears.
How does he do that? Still everything around me into a calm I can handle.
He mouths, “Okay?” With a furrowed brow, he squeezes my hand tighter.
I nod, dumbfounded he can have such an effect on me. That he can both open the floodgates and chase away the noise in my head. I grip his hand until we are back at the hotel.
“Thanks…for everything,” I say as the cab pulls to the hotel’s front door.
“Anytime. Always here if you need help again.” Javi replies with a cheeky grin.
I laugh. “You’ll be the first one I call. Catch you later, Ri.” I snake my hand around the front seat and pat Riley on the shoulder.
“Chat with you soon!” he replies with a smile adding a wave.
“See you tomorrow,” I say to Javi as I shut the cab door.
“See you tomorrow,” he says, smiling as I shut the door on him. Watching as the cab pulls away I feel the corner of my mouth tug up slightly.
“Hey, Sophia!” A voice comes from behind me.
Spinning around, Elise Sheaves, Team Manager for Cryohoop, Cole’s team, comes out of the hotel and down the few steps to me.
“Heya, Elise. How’s pre-season treating you?” I ask.
“Great! Happy with the Yamaha machine this year. We were working on it over the season break and happy with the improvements,” she replies as she reaches me, tucking a strand of her black hair behind her ear. “I heard what happened between you and Perry. I had no idea you were dealing with that last season. You’re so brave.” She outstretches her hand and squeezes my arm.
I know she means well, but the story is twisted, and it makes me feel like an idiot trying to correct it. It’ll make me sound like I am making justifications. I am so enraged and shamed I can’t form an answer. My brain is paralysed, rendered speechless. This is what people think of me? What else do they think? My judgements are clouded?
Elise looks over my shoulder and sees an approaching cab. “Here, if you need anything. Chin up, Sophia. It’ll get easier.” She smiles sweetly at me, before heading into the cab.
I storm straight to my room and wait for the emotional shit storm to dump on me. Bracing myself.
Anything?
Great. It just decided to appear in front of Javi in the cab and freeze me with Elise. Fucking awesome.
Exasperated and annoyed, I head into the bathroom for a shower. Emotional scenes normally happen in the shower, right? I know I’ve had my fair share of existential crises and conversation rebuttals in the shower.
The amount of emotions and feelings I felt during the cab ride could not have simply just gone away. And then the run in with Elise where I couldn’t form any sentences?
I assess myself and what I am feeling. The numbness is still there, but it doesn’t feel as stifling anymore. I remember how excited I was, talking to Javi in the pit. I hadn’t felt as engaged in anything in so long. The words flowed so easily from my mouth. But then Elise fucked up my flow. How could I just not say a fucking word?
I really can’t risk doing anything with Javi. That was not the best slip with a colleague. I mean, it had the promise of the hottest sex I’ll ever have, I’m sure, but I have never done that kind of thing. Ever! Can’t have that damage with Javi, or my reputation and credibility in the paddock. Nope, won’t be happening. It can’t. Not happening. How many times do I need to say it before I believe it?