20. Sophia
20
Sophia
For a change of scenery, I head down to the hotel restaurant for lunch. There are a few people I recognise from the paddock who I smile or stop to say a brief hello to. I reject a few offers to join tables as I make my way through to a smaller table against the back wall, holding up my laptop as my date for the meal.
Hopefully, one day, I’ll have the confidence again to talk to them all like I used to. They used to laugh at my witty remarks and dry humour. Now, they look at me with that pitiful look in their eyes. The poor woman who got dumped and cheated on. I don’t know how to act around them anymore. My confidence is completely shaken.
I push the thought aside and sit down on a long bench seat stretching across the back wall. A wait staff member is over promptly with a menu. He suggests a pepperoni pizza and I add a glass of Pinot Grigio to the order before handing him back the menu and opening my laptop to work.
It doesn’t take long before I can see someone in my peripheral start to approach my table. I take a deep breath and look up to see Shelby, who sat at the only table I simply smiled at. Shelby is a photographer who covers motorcycle and car racing. He is also a good friend of Perry, hence my simple smile to greet him.
“Hey, Sophia. How are you going?” Shelby broaches cautiously as he approaches my table.
“Hey, Shelby. Good, thanks. How are you going?” I reply, closing my laptop.
“Good, thanks. Been a while. How’s the team going?” He leans his hands on the back of the chair sitting across from me.
“Really well. Javi is smashing the season,” I reply curtly. I have nothing against him. I just don’t know how to act around him anymore, being so close to my ex.
“That’s great. Javi is solid in every race. A true reflection of his team,” he offers.
I nod with a strained smile I can feel doesn’t reach my eyes.
Taking the hint, Shelby nods and stands up straight. “I wanted to see how you were doing…after all the shit that happened. I’m sorry things turned out the way they did. No one deserves to be treated like that.”
“I’m fine, didn’t mean anything, right?” My voice falters.
Shelby must see my mask falling and sits down. “Sophia, please know I didn’t know anything leading up to what happened. I was so disappointed in him, and I let him know it. We don’t speak anymore. He took great offense to me calling him out and ignores me, true to the narcissist asshole he is. But good riddance. Neither of us need that in our lives.”
I am completely taken aback. I never thought that Shelby intentionally took sides because he was friends with Perry before we were together, but I avoided him because of that reason. I didn’t want Shelby to provide him with updates on me. I never imagined Shelby would call him out on his behaviour. I’m speechless. My face cannot hide the surprise.
Shelby continues, “You’re a good person. You deserve someone better than him. Someone who has the guts to be honest and open with you.”
“Thanks, Shelby. You didn’t have to call him out on it…”
“No, I did. That behaviour is not to be tolerated. It’s despicable! I don’t want to be associated with anyone like that.” He shakes his head.
“Hopefully, Perry takes on what you said,” I reply.
“Shelbs!” A familiar voice approaches us.
I look up and see Javi approach my table, leaning down to place a paper bag on the chair next to me, assessing the situation between me and Shelby. Straightening back up, I swear he stands taller than before. Maybe it’s just my angle looking up at him.
“Javi! Good to see you, man!” Shelby stands up and and sticks his hand out for a handshake before giving that guy half hug.
Javi accepts his hand and returns the half hug with a pat on the back.
“Joining us for 2-wheel action instead of 4 this weekend?” Javi asks enthusiastically.
“Can’t keep me away from the bikes for too long!” Shelby replies with a warm smile. “I better head back to my table. Good seeing you, Sophia. Javi! Keep up the good work this season.” Shelby pats Javi on the shoulder.
“Keep those awesome shots of me coming!” Javi calls back with a return clap on the shoulder as Shelby leaves.
He turns to me immediately. “Everything okay? You look shell-shocked. Was he talking shit?”
I feel like I need to take a moment. I look down at my table, eyes wide. I can’t believe he stuck up for me and condemned Perry’s behaviour. They were pretty close.
Javi can clearly see my internal monologue happening and takes a seat next to me on the bench.
“Open your laptop. Pretend to be showing me something on there,” he says, resting a comforting hand, out of sight, on my knee and squeezing it to show his support.
I follow his instructions in a daze and open my laptop back up again. I look back at him and say, “Shelby told me he called out Perry for the way he treated me. They don’t talk now because of it.”
“Good! That behaviour is toxic. Plus Shelby is good people,” he agrees.
“I’m…just surprised,” I manage to mutter.
“Yeah, I can see that.” He stifles a chuckle.
His laugh takes me out of my head. “Why is that so funny?”
“Believe it or not, there are some people who like you around here. They don’t talk about how you got dumped and condemn you. They say they can’t believe anyone would dump someone as great as you and hope you make it back to how you were before,” he says.
“What?!” Another round of shock hits me. Am I really that pessimistic and self-deprecating these days? I immediately went to “I am the loser” and not “They can see this was wrong on his behalf.”
“What do you mean, what ? That you are great and loved, or that people have your back around here?” he queries.
“I guess I assumed everyone thought I was the loser who got dumped, and they pitied me.” That information flowed freely out of my mouth. Everything is easy to share with Javi.
He looks at me with caring eyes and a look that’s a little pained at my admission. “I’ve never heard anyone say that about you. Only that they miss joking around with you or your hilarious sense of humour whenever they saw you. They want to be there for you, but they can see you are holding yourself back when you interact with anyone across the paddock. They just want to give you the time you need. You are only really at peace with Rayna or Dave.”
“I’m grateful you asked for Dave and I to come join your team, and he accepted.”
He nods his head. “I am happy you both agreed to come over together. I think you both are amazing on your own, but if I could get that duo power? Whoosh!” He sends his eyes to the ceiling and exclaims, “I am guaranteed the championship.” He looks back at me and smiles.
He lifts the mood easily and I can’t help but smile back at him.
The wait staff serves my pizza and apologises for the delay with my glass of wine.
“Did you want to join me? I didn’t realise how big the pizza was going to be,” I offer. I did know, but I was going to take the leftovers for dinner. Sharing with Javi didn’t seem like a bad idea right now.
“Sure,” he replies, then asks the wait staff to bring another glass of wine.
Javi stays on the same side of the table as me while we pretend to discuss work from my laptop. It is uncomplicated talking to him. No effort involved, no pressure. Conversation flows, blocking out the noise of the restaurant as it gets busier with the lunch rush, then dies down into mid-afternoon.
Our table has been cleared a while ago. As we finish up our third glass of wine, I say I should better head back to my room.
Javi insists on walking me to my door.
We make our way through to the elevator up to my hotel room.
I open my door and turn to say, “Thanks for coming over to my table.”
“I was worried. You looked like you were getting upset from what Shelby was saying. Wanted to check in on you,” he offers, keeping a respectful distance as he shifts the paper bag from one hand to the other.
“I appreciate the thought.” I smile at him, leaning my back against the door frame.
He takes a quick look up and down the hall before stepping close to me, bridging the gap between us. I don’t move away. Enjoying his closeness.
“This almost felt like a date,” he whispers, his face impossibly close to mine.
“Lucky for you, I don’t date,” I jest, looking into his eyes.
“Lucky for you, I enjoy kissing people after non-dates,” he says, leaning in to kiss me.
I allow myself to be swept up in his kiss. He is a fucking good kisser. He raises a hand to my face as he deepens the kiss, starting to flirt with the line of a drop you off at the door kiss and a would you like to come in and take your clothes off kiss. But I know he has an early start in the morning and I don’t want to be a distraction. Even though I really could be a wicked distraction right now.
Seemingly sensing the same line about to be crossed, Javi breaks away from the kiss, staring into my eyes. “Oh hey, I had a sponsor meeting this morning and they sent me away with a bunch of stuff.” He looks through the few paper shopping bags in his hand. “These are part of the women’s range.” He hands me a grey and yellow top along with a pair of loose pants. The material is soft and light. I know exactly what I’ll be using these for.
“Thank you,” I say as I accept them.
“Remember what I said, you are an amazing person. You deserve to be treated right.” His thumb runs down my jaw and across my bottom lip. My heart skips. “I’ll see you around,” he says before stepping back, leaving me to pry myself off the door frame. I force myself to step back into my room, further away from him.
“See you around,” I say with a smile and close the door on him, watching him slowly disappear.
I sigh once inside and touch my swollen lips after Javi’s kiss, trying to calm my beating heart.