Chapter 18 #3
My body slammed into his, as I sucked on his neck to keep from screaming. In this moment, I wanted to scream so the entire neighborhood could hear me. Usually, I hated to sweat, but I welcomed this sweat.
Our bodies were pasted together like glue as I clung onto him. He pulled out of me and climbed off the bed and pulled me to the end. My body glided across the smooth sheets until I was where he wanted me.
Wrapping my legs around him, he picked me up and dipped me slowly, putting his dick inside of me. I held onto him, scared that he may drop me, but he planted his feet into the carpet, and he centered his back on the pole of the canopy bed as he held my ass, slamming me down on his dick.
I held onto him tightly, kissing his neck while I whined in his ears because he was focused. His chain slapped against his chest, while he continued to dip me down and then lift me up.
There was no sign of struggle in his eyes or his form as he held all of me. It was one thing for a man to say he could handle me, but another to actually witness a man handling me.
“All that mouth and all you doing is whining… why the fuck… you…so hardheaded,” he grunted, slamming me down harder with each word.
“I…I don’t know.”
How was I supposed to answer that question? Not right this second, while he had me feeling like I was on the moon.
There was no way I could answer him.
“Oh, you don’t know… you like making it hard for me, eh?”
“Yes… I do, baby,” I moaned, sucking on his neck, and kissing him on the lips.
He snorted, as he slapped my ass and slammed me down harder this time. “You feel that shit, Zoya? Feel all that dick inside of you?”
“Uh humm.”
He bit down on my shoulder as he continued to slam me down onto him, and I held onto him for dear life.
The thrill of being held up in the air and fucked was something I never knew I needed. Each time he grabbed my whole ass and lifted me, I felt like I was going down a rollercoaster.
“You so sexy, baby… look at me. Let me see that fucking face,” he grunted, his body started to get tense, as I held onto him, and kissed his lips. “You my baby, right?”
“Yess, Goo.”
“You mine, Zoya? Don’t say you mine if you not… ready…. for…. This.” He grunted each word as he slammed me down on him, and I felt my body release.
I squeezed his shoulder, as I came so hard that I was scared I was pissing myself. “Yesss, uhmm, I’m yours.”
“Go ahead and get a nigga killed fucking playing with me, Zoya.” He slowed his speed and kissed my lips as I felt him moving me up and down slower each time.
“I won’t, Baby… wonnnntt,” I promised as I whined, holding him tighter.
He slapped my ass, then cupped it while kissing my neck moving me slowly.
Slowly, he slid me up and down while he shoved his tongue to the back of my throat. I held him around the neck, as I pulled back, and stared into his eyes.
“You gonna stop being so hardheaded and let me love you, Zoya… let me fuck yo pussy whenever you need that attitude adjusted… hmm… shit… look at me baby.” He hissed between each stroke.
His body jerked, and he leaned forward slightly, and I felt him release inside of me. We both stared at each other, not understanding what we had done.
Or maybe we both did, and we were at this part of life where we didn’t care. He emptied every bit of himself inside of me and then put me back onto the bed.
Grabbing my face, he said, “Don’t need to hear you say it back… I know I love you, and even if nothing grows from tonight, I’m always going to do right by you.” He kissed my lips and climbed into the bed behind me.
I kissed his arm, as I closed my eyes, wondering if something would come of this?
Recommendation: Listen to Please Don’t Go by Silk
“Mommy, Maverick’s skin isn’t dark. Kora’s skin isn’t dark, and Landon’s skin isn’t dark. Why is my skin dark? I’m the only one with dark skin.”
My mother removed my hair from my face and kissed my face. “You have skin like your grandmother and great-grandmother… beautiful smooth chocolate skin rich with melanin, and there’s nothing wrong it… shoot, now I’m upset.”
I gasped. “Why?”
“Why didn’t my grammy leave me with your skin… give me some of the rich goodness that you possess.” She tickled me and I giggled, while fighting to get away from her fingers.
She stopped tickling me and kissed me on the head. “Lover, never forget that you are beautiful. Everything from the tip of your beautiful thick hair to your chubby little toes.” She tickled the bottom of my feet. “The world may try to make it seem like you’re not worthy, but baby you are... okay?”
“Okay, mommy.”
“Promise me, Zoya. Promise me that you’ll always hold your head high.
Always walk like you’re the best thing out there since Maverick’s animal crackers.
” She giggled with me and pulled me into her arms. “Mommy will always be right there cheering you on… you know that, right? I made no mistakes with you, Baby girl.”
“Yup.” I smiled and squeezed her.
My eyes popped open.
She wasn’t always right there cheering me on. When she said those words, I thought she would always be right there for me. Cheering, clapping, and there whenever I needed something.
It made me realize that people left.
They promised one thing and then you ended up grieving. It didn’t matter if the person died or not, you could very well grieve living people too. I leaned up as Goo lay next to me fast asleep.
His arms were around me, holding me tightly. I removed myself and grabbed my phone from the nightstand.
I shouldn’t have done that.
Shouldn’t have had sex with him and possibly made a child together. He didn’t know me. Didn’t understand me, and who says that he would. He saw the Zoya he had been chasing, not the depressed Zoya that took antidepressants.
The Zoya that self-sabotaged everything in her life. Goo didn’t know that woman, and it was best that he didn’t know me.
“Zoya, you good? Where do you need me?” I heard Don’s sleepy voice on the other end of the line.
“Can you get me a helicopter back to the city?”
I could hear his bed rustle in the background. “What happened? Where are you?”
“Ashbourne.”
“Why?”
“Gerald took me here for the weekend.”
The line grew quiet. “I don’t even like that I’m about to ask this, but did he hurt you, Zoy?”
“No, nothing like that… Don, he told me he loves me.”
“Nothing wrong with that.”
“There’s everything wrong with that.”
The stupid line went quiet again. I hated that both he and Menace did the same thing. They both took moments to pause, leaving you to wonder if they ended the call on you.
“The only reason there’s something wrong with it, is because you feel the same way.” He called me out.
“Doesn’t matter.”
“It does fucking matter… you about to leave the man in the early hours of the morning because you too fucking scared. I dare you to stay.”
I had quietly climbed the steps to the room I was staying in. While Landon was trying to dare me to stay, I had slipped on a pair of leggings while putting all my toiletries into my bag.
“You gonna get me a ride and helicopter or not.”
“Was already fucking working on it. I’ll meet you when you touch down in the city. He’s a good nigga, Zoy. You really willing to allow fear to keep you from having that?”
“Thanks, Don.” I ended the call, not wanting to hear his speech about having love. He thought because he was getting married that it was easy for everyone.
Landon was damn near perfect.
He wasn’t as fucked up as the rest of us. I wasn’t taking away from the trauma he did have being the youngest, but he was the least fucked up out of us all. He didn’t understand.
I quickly packed my things and received the text from Landon that my ride was outside. Carrying my bag down the steps, I put it by the door and went to look for the security pad.
“Damn, you wasn’t going to say bye?” The light clicked on, and Goo was sitting in the same chair he was in earlier.
“Work emergency.”
“We lying now… heard you.”
I sighed. “This is too much.”
“You bullshit, Zoya.”
“How?”
“You make me believe this is what you want, but then you sneaking out the crib in the middle of the night… talk to me, baby. Tell me what’s going on… I want you.” He was frustrated and he had every right to be.
“I cannot make you happy… there’s so much that you don’t know about me, Gerald.”
“Fucking tell me then, Zoya. Open your mouth and tell me… tell me what I don’t know. I want to know about you… learn what makes you, you.”
“This is too much… I can’t do this right now. Don got me a car and helicopter to take me back to the city.”
“Shit, you couldn’t even give me the respect of making sure you got home?”
“I didn’t want to wake you.”
“Bullshit. I’m in fucking love with you. I want to give you everything… the fucking moon if you asking for that shit. I’ve been upfront with what I want… it’s you that keep playing those games. Leave out that door and we’re good, Zoya.”
“I don’t respond well to ultimatums.”
“Not an ultimatum, my dear. You want to go, not holding you. Just know when you finally realize I’m not fucking waiting around for you… that shit is dead.”
I picked my bags up and opened the door while he stood there. His eyes watched me, told me he wanted me to stay. He didn’t mean what he said. He would always be right there.
As the driver put my bags in the back, he stood in the doorway. It hurt to watch him stare at me, as I climbed up into the back of the SUV. He turned and headed back into the house, slowly closing the door.
I felt like he was symbolically closing the door on us.
Fuck.