Chapter 22
ZOYA
Aspen, Colorado
Caselli Chalet
I was elbow deep in the dish water, washing dishes from dinner. We had a housekeeper that kept the chalet clean, and here I was washing dishes. I wasn’t used to just sitting still, and that was how the past few days had been here.
Once I arrived, I went into town and got some basic needs and clothes since I arrived with my briefcase and purse.
Having to leave the city so quickly was overwhelming.
Usually, I would have argued with everyone and told them I wasn’t scared or leaving.
Once in a while, I had to learn to be quiet and allow those around me to protect me.
Menace and Kora knew the ins and outs of everything, so if he felt the need to rush me out the city, with her behind me, then I needed to listen.
Kora was right behind me on Don’s jet and landed a few hours after I did. Menace had security get me from the jet and bring me to our family’s chalet. It had been years since I had been here, and it was on purpose.
My family always spent the holidays here. It was a special place, but it also hurt like hell when I thought about the memories. Thought of the laughs and fun we collected here. I made a promise to myself that I would rid myself of anything that reminded me of my parents.
Although the pain was still there, I ignored it and kept myself busy with my career. What good would it be to keep thinking about my dead parents? They weren’t here, so I had to move on.
I needed to move on.
Menace was the only one that came to Aspen, and we never could figure out why. Kora was usually down with whatever he wanted, but even she never came to visit. Menace would spend his birthdays here alone. Now that he had Stevie, they came back often.
“Ms. Caselli, you don’t have to do that,” the housekeeper, Vera, told me, as she tried to take over.
“I am fine, Vera. I need something to take my mind off everything. Actually, take a seat and relax… what can I get you to drink?” I asked her, and she looked unsure of if she should sit down.
Menace wasn’t hard on his staff. He had clear rules, and if you followed those, he treated you like gold.
“I’ll take water for now, Ms. Caselli.”
“Zoya.” I smiled, rinsing the suds from my arms and hands, and drying my hand with the dish towel.
“Thank you.”
I made her a crisp cup of water and watched her sit and take a load off. She slowly sipped her water and looked at me. “Is there any reason you don’t visit here often?”
“Brings up too many memories of my parents.”
“Understandable. Not all memories are sad ones. I can’t imagine losing a mother that young, so your feelings are valid.”
“Did you know my parents?”
She nodded her head. “I knew your mother more. We grew up together in Scotsman, Colorado.”
I paused my dish washing and looked at her. “Like, actually grew up with my mother?”
“Yes. She always had big plans to leave Scotsman, and she did exactly what she said she would. The furthest I ever got was Aspen, cleaning rich people’s homes… no offense.”
“None taken.”
I remembered my mother, but I remembered her as my mom. All I knew was that she loved to sing, hug us and cook meals, and she loved my father. She was the person to comfort us when we were sad or angry. As the years passed on, I craved to know her as the woman.
Not the mother.
Not the wife.
A woman.
I wondered what her friends were like. Did she have a glass of wine after a stressful day. What were things she did to relieve herself of stress, and did I get my mouth from her? I saw her through mommy lenses, and never as the woman who had four children and a husband.
“I don’t think I remember seeing you around.” My memory was slightly fuzzy with our memories in Aspen. I remembered some things, but I think I built this defense to forget the things I missed the most.
So many years of pretending to not care ended with me forgetting prized memories.
“Oh, no. This home sat vacant for years. The rumor in town was that the home was foreclosed on. I knew your mother and knew what happened, so I knew the home was no longer a priority… I just never knew what happened to you guys. Not until I ran into your brother in town years ago.”
“How did you know it was him?”
She laughed to herself. “Your mother brought him back to Scotsman when he was around two or three. Very peculiar little boy. I’ve never seen a toddler keep his hands inside his pockets, and he didn’t speak.
While kids were running and playing with balloons, he stood near your father.
His facial features didn’t change much, however, he had to give his name to have his delivery sent to the chalet, and I overheard the Caselli name. A name I hadn’t heard in years.”
Menace never told us how he acquired the family’s chalet again. It was very important to him. We knew whenever he was ghost, he was usually there. It was his favorite place to be.
Being here, I could understand with the beautiful view from every angle of this home. Other than the view, I still didn’t feel the need to mark this as one of my favorite places.
“Wow.”
“Your brother doesn’t trust at all. I still don’t think he trusts me, but here I am years later. I keep the chalet cleaned and check in on your grandmother at the retirement home and keep him updated.”
I dropped the plate into the sink of dish water. “Grandmother?”
Vera knew she messed up because she silently cursed while lowering her head. “You don’t know.”
I looked around to see if the coast was clear. “Fuck no. I have a grandmother? My mother never spoke about her mother.”
I always found it odd that the only grandparents we had were the Eatons, and even they weren’t shit as grandparents. My grandfather, from what I could remember, couldn’t stand my dad.
Even as a child, you felt the tension whenever he was around.
“I said too much and it’s not my place to fully tell you what your brother hasn’t. Let me take over the dishes.”
She was right to offer taking over the dishes because in this moment it was fuck them dishes. I rinsed my hands, dried them, and then went to find my brother in this massive house.
Since I arrived, I had purposely stuck to my room or the kitchen, only venturing off to the sunken living room, or back terrace that overlooked the slopes and beautiful trees that would soon be bare and covered in snow.
Other than a few flurries, the view was perfect, with miles and miles of trees with different shades of brown, oranges, and greens. The view was something out of a photography book, and would never become old for me.
Kora decided to stay at the resort in town. She loved her privacy, and no one ever questioned it. The moment I asked for that same privacy, I was the problem. My life was an open book to everyone in my family. A book just opened for them to read and give their advice on what I decided to do.
Not even Landon was subjected to this.
He was able to do whatever without having Kora or Menace come down on him. Other than the Kennedy situation, they never bothered much with him.
Maybe that was the problem?”
I slowly walked down the hallway that brought you to the downstairs gym, theater, sauna, and library. Menace was like fucking Batman, because you never saw him until it was too late.
The picture on the carved wooden table caused me to stop. Slowly, I picked it up and looked at us all bundled in our fur coats. My father held Landon, and he was young. A couple months old at least.
My mother was kissing Menace’s cheek, while Kora clung to my father. I stood in the middle making a silly face.
Typical for me.
I could be so unserious at times.
Stroking the glass, I stared at my parents’ faces and how happy they were. They were a couple that wanted to be parents, have a beautiful family. I couldn’t help but to look at my family’s faces and how they all shared the same complexion, then there was me.
That feeling brewed in my chest and I quickly put the picture down and continued on my quest to find my brother. I think I searched every fucking room on this side before I turned and went into the library.
I slowly opened the door and poked my head in and saw Menace. He was laying in the window seat kissing his son’s forehead, as he rested on him. His own eyes were closed, but I knew he was awake from the soft circular motions he made while rubbing Dennis’s back.
Each motion was the same exact way as he softly kissed him. I stood there quietly, taking in what my brother looked like in peace. When Stevie told us she was pregnant, I was excited to become an aunt.
There was a small part of me that worried about my future nephew. How would my brother be as a father? Could he give him the love that every child desired? Were we even equipped to do that?
Don had opted out of having children, and that worried me even more. All my fears I ever had went out the window watching my brother bond with his son.
“Stevie went to grab groceries for dinner tonight,” he whispered, as he continued rubbing his son’s back. “Hungry?”
I finally entered the room fully. “We have a grandmother?”
“Yes.”
I don’t know why I expected him to lie to me? He was never one to lie and was always honest. Almost too honest at times.
“Why haven’t you told us about her?”
“You mean… you.”
“Landon knows?”
He nodded his head. “There’s a lot of things that I’ve had to make Don privy to… these are things he needs to know.”
I sat on the edge of one of the leather upholstered couches. “I’m the only one that didn’t know?”
“Yes.”
“Why didn’t you tell me about her?” I could feel the anger bubbling, and I wanted to know answers now.
He leaned up gently, as Dennis stirred slightly. “Protecting you.”
“How in the fuck are you protecting me, Menace? I want to meet her.”
He looked into my eyes. “Bean, ain’t no going back… lot of shit I would have rather not known. Could have gone my entire life without knowing.”
“What are you not telling me, Maverick?” My heart thumped against my chest, as I watched him.