Chapter Eleven
Dawson
I sat down on the couch in my parents’ living room, my heart pounding against my ribs. The air felt thick with unspoken words and raw emotions. Dad lowered himself into his favorite armchair across from me, the creak of the springs echoing in the heavy silence. Even though we’d talked briefly earlier, I’d known he’d want to discuss things in more detail. Mom had taken Nora and Taylor shopping, so it was just us at the house.
“What the hell were you thinking, boy?” Dad’s voice cut through the silence, laced with frustration. “Distancing yourself from the MC, from the life? We’re your family, your blood.”
I met his gaze, my jaw clenching as I tried to rein in my own emotions. “I want to make a difference, Dad. In my own way.”
“And you think being a firefighter, running with the Swift Angels, that’s going to do it?” He shook his head, disbelief etched into the lines of his face.
I stood my ground, refusing to back down. “Yes, I do. I’m not just some outlaw’s son anymore. I’m a man who wants to help people, to save lives. Being a firefighter, being part of the Swift Angels… it gives me that chance.”
Dad’s eyes narrowed, his lips pressing into a thin line. I could see the wheels turning in his head, trying to make sense of my choices. The air between us crackled with tension, years of unspoken words and expectations hanging heavy in the space.
“You think you’re better than us now? Too good for the Dixie Reapers?” His words stung, but I refused to flinch.
“No, that’s not it at all. I’m proud of where I come from, of who I am. But I need to do this, Dad. I need to be a different kind of hero.”
My heart pounded in my chest as I waited for his response, the seconds stretching out like an eternity. I knew I was risking everything, but I couldn’t keep living a lie. I had to be true to myself, to the man I wanted to become.
Dad’s anger seemed to dissipate, his shoulders slumping as he leaned back in his chair. His eyes softened, a flicker of understanding crossing his face. “You’re trying to make a better life for yourself, aren’t you? Not just for you, but for the people around you.”
I nodded, relief flooding through me. “Yes, that’s it exactly. I want to make a difference, to be someone who helps others. I know it’s not the path you chose, but it’s the one I need to take.”
Dad sighed, running a hand over his beard. “I get it, son. I may not like it, but I get it. I’ve made my share of mistakes, and I don’t want you to follow in my footsteps. Not if it means you’ll end up with the same regrets I have.”
His words caught me off guard, a lump forming in my throat. I’d never heard him admit to having regrets before, never seen him so vulnerable. “What do you mean?”
“I’ve done things I’m not proud of, Dawson. Things that haunt me to this day. I thought I was doing what was best for the club, for our family. But maybe I was wrong. Maybe I should have been a better father, a better husband.”
The weight of his confession hung in the air between us, a moment of raw honesty that I’d never experienced with him before. I swallowed hard, my own fears and doubts rising to the surface.
“I’m scared, Dad. Scared that I’m making the wrong choice, that I’m not cut out for this. What if I fail? What if I let everyone down?”
“You’re not going to fail, Dawson,” Dad said. “You’re stronger than you think, and you’ve got a good head on your shoulders. Trust your instincts, and don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t do this.”
“That means a lot, coming from you.” I took a deep breath, my palms damp with perspiration. “I… I want to thank you and Mom for everything you’ve done for me over the years. Your love and support have meant the world to me.”
Dad leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. The lines etched into his face seemed deeper than I remembered, a testament to the hard life he’d lived. Not to mention he was pushing seventy now. “You’re our son, Dawson. Of course, we love and support you. But…”
His words trailed off, the unfinished thought hanging between us like a guillotine blade ready to drop. I swallowed hard, my throat suddenly dry. I knew what he wanted to say, the questions burning in his piercing gaze.
“I know I’ve made choices you don’t agree with. Becoming a firefighter, joining the Swift Angels… You already made that clear.”
Dad’s jaw clenched, the muscles in his neck tightening. I braced myself for the explosion of anger I’d seen so many times before, the fury of a man who demanded loyalty above all else. Not that he’d ever laid a hand on me, Mom, or my sisters. Didn’t mean the man couldn’t yell like a champion, though.
But instead, he surprised me. “I know you’re trying to forge your own path, son. It’s just… hard for me to accept sometimes. The Dixie Reapers, this life… it’s all I’ve ever known. Honestly, before your mom, it was all I wanted. She changed me in some ways, and I’m sure Nora and the kids will change you too.”
Tears prickled at the corners of my eyes as I saw the vulnerability in my father’s face, a side of him he rarely showed. I bit back the emotion, knowing he wouldn’t take kindly to it. In that moment, I realized beneath the tough exterior and the outlaw persona, he was just a man trying to protect his family the only way he knew how. He’d wanted me to grow up and be a Reaper like him because it had given him everything he’d wanted in life. But the same wasn’t true for me.
I reached out, placing my hand on his rough, callused one. “I love you, Dad. And I promise, no matter what path I choose, I’ll always be your son. Nothing will ever change that. I’ll always remember the things you’ve taught me and appreciate all the sacrifices you’ve made for me over the years. My being part of the Swift Angels and being a firefighter wasn’t intended as an insult to you. It was just my way of…”
“Being yourself?”
I nodded. Dad’s hand twitched beneath mine, and for a moment, I thought he might pull away. Instead, he gripped my fingers tightly, his eyes searching my face as if trying to memorize every detail.
“I just want you to be happy, Dawson. That’s all I’ve ever wanted for you and your sisters.” His voice was gruff, but I could hear the emotion behind his words. “I may not always understand your choices, but I’ll always support you.”
Relief washed over me, and I felt the tension that had been coiled in my chest begin to unwind. “Thank you, Dad. That means more to me than you know.”
We sat in silence for a few moments, the weight of our conversation hanging in the air between us. I knew our relationship would never be perfect, that there would always be a part of my father that longed for me to follow in his footsteps. But I realized his love for me transcended any differences we might have.
As I looked around the familiar living room, my gaze fell on a framed picture of our family, taken years ago when Mariah, Farrah, and I were just kids. We were all smiling, our faces filled with the carefree innocence of youth. I knew no matter how much time passed or how far I strayed from the path my father had laid out for me, that love would always be there, binding us together.
Dad cleared his throat, breaking me out of my reverie. “So, this Nora girl… she’s important to you?”
I couldn’t help the smile that tugged at the corners of my mouth. “Yeah, she is. I can’t explain it, but there’s just something about her. It’s like she sees me for who I really am, not just the son of a Dixie Reaper, a firefighter, or the VP of the Swift Angels.”
Dad nodded, a glimmer of understanding in his eyes. “Hold onto that, son. Don’t let anything come between you two. Trust me, I know from experience how precious that kind of love is.”
I knew he was thinking of Mom, of the love they had shared despite all the obstacles they had faced. It gave me hope that maybe Nora and I could build something just as strong. Although, his earlier comment had me wondering what regrets he had that made him think he’d been a bad father and husband. Everyone knew my mom was crazy about him.
“Come on. Let’s grab a beer in the kitchen while we wait on the girls to come back from spending all our money.”
I stood and followed him, only to make him stop dead in his tracks. “I think you mean your money. Nora wouldn’t take anything from me, and Mom shooed me away like a pesky fly.”
“Son of a bitch,” Dad muttered. “That woman… She’s going to force me to lock her damn card again.”
I bit my lip to hold back laughter. It wasn’t the first time he’d had to rein Mom in. Sometimes, she went on spending sprees, and other times she didn’t buy anything other than necessities. I wondered if Nora would be the same way.
Dad reached out and placed a heavy hand on my shoulder, his grip firm but reassuring. “That girl, Nora? She’s a keeper. I can see it in the way she looks at you, the way she stands by your side.”
“I’d worried you wouldn’t approve of us being together,” I admitted. “I figured Mom would be the easiest to bring over to our side. If nothing else, Taylor would get her to warm up to the idea. You know how much she loves the grandkids. Now she’ll have two more. At least, if I can talk Nora into being more than my girlfriend.”
Dad shook his head, a wry smile on his lips. “I may be a stubborn old bastard, but I’m not blind. I see the way you two look at each other, the way you light up when she’s around.”
“I love her, Dad. More than anything in this world. I don’t know what I’d do without her.”
Dad’s grip tightened. “Then don’t let her go, Dawson. Fight for her, protect her, and cherish every moment you have together. Because in this life, you never know when it might all be taken away. Just don’t let Wire or Lavender hear that you want to keep her forever. You know what will happen.”
I gave a bark of laughter. “Yeah, we’ll be congratulated on our marriage, and Nora will be confused as fuck.”
Dad nodded. “Exactly. They mean well, but sometimes I think they go too far. If you’re trying to walk a different path in life, then you do this the right way. You ask her to marry you, give her a ring, and have a real wedding.”
“That was my plan,” I said.
Dad looked at me with a glimmer of pride in his eyes. “You’re a good man, Dawson. Don’t ever forget that.”
As Dad and I were finishing up our beers, the front door burst open, a whirlwind of laughter and chatter filling the house. I couldn’t help but smile as Mom, Nora, and Taylor tumbled in, their arms laden with shopping bags. The scent of crisp winter air clung to their clothes, mingling with the warm, homey smell of the house.
“Mr. Dawson! Mr. Dawson!” Taylor’s excited voice rang out as she spotted me. She dropped her small bag and raced toward me, her blonde curls bouncing with each step. I scooped her up, spinning her around as she giggled uncontrollably.
“Hey there, princess! Did you have fun shopping with Grandma and Mommy?” I asked, setting her back down.
My mother eyed me at the word Grandma , and I noticed Nora staring at me with wide eyes, then giving my mother a horrified look, probably thinking she’d be offended. I just winked at Nora and focused on Taylor again.
Her blue eyes sparkled with excitement as she nodded vigorously. “Oh yes! We went to so many stores, and Grandma bought me the prettiest doll!”
Well, Taylor sure adapted fast. I could only hope her mother would too. If nothing else, we could team up and wear her down.
Taylor tugged at my hand, pulling me toward the pile of bags. “Come see, come see!”
I laughed, allowing myself to be led by the enthusiastic five-year-old. From the corner of my eye, I caught Nora’s amused smile as she watched us. She looked radiant, her cheeks flushed from the cold, her brown eyes dancing with happiness. It warmed my heart to see her so relaxed and carefree.
Taylor rummaged through one of the bags, her little tongue poking out in concentration. Finally, with a triumphant “Aha!”, she pulled out a beautiful doll in a frilly blue dress. The doll had long, dark hair and pretty green eyes.
“Isn’t she beautiful?” Taylor asked, holding the doll up for my inspection. “Grandma said she looks just like me!”
I knelt down to get a better look, pretending to study the doll intently. Clearly, both my mother and Taylor missed the entire part of them having different hair and eye color, but if it made her happy…
“She sure is pretty, but I think you’re even prettier,” I said, tapping her nose gently.
Taylor giggled, hugging the doll close to her chest. Her eyes widened with excitement. “Oh! And guess what else? I got to sit on Santa’s lap at the store!”
“You did?” I gasped in mock surprise. “Was he the real Santa?”
She nodded solemnly. “Oh yes, he had a real beard and everything. I told him what I wanted for Christmas, but it’s a secret!” She put her finger to her lips, shushing dramatically.
I couldn’t help but chuckle at her antics. “Well, I’m sure if you’ve been a good girl, Santa will bring you exactly what you asked for.”
As Taylor continued to chatter about her adventure with Santa, I glanced Nora and Mom. They were busy sorting through the bags, occasionally holding up an item for the other to admire. I loved seeing them get along so well. Turning to my dad, I noticed he was watching my mom. Nothing new. His gaze seemed to always follow her, even all these years later. They’d been together nearly thirty years now.
Mom came over to hug me and whispered in my ear. “You know, I always thought you’d be like the others and wait until your thirties to snatch up some eighteen- or nineteen-year-old. I think I’m proud you found someone only two years younger than you.”
Shit. I hadn’t even gotten around to asking Nora her age, but it looked like Mom had beat me to it. “Thanks.”
She leaned in a little closer and lowered her voice even more. “Did she tell you about Taylor’s dad?”
“No. Why?”
Mom leaned back, her eyes holding both sadness and a hint of anger. “Ask her. You need to know.”
Well, fuck. I’d thought Rex was the worst of Nora’s issues. Now I worried something truly awful had happened to her. Looked like we’d be having a long talk once Taylor went to bed tonight.
* * *
Nora
It had taken forever to bathe Taylor and get her calmed down enough to go to sleep. I felt worn out as I collapsed onto the couch next to Dawson. He’d seemed a bit off since I’d returned from shopping with his mom.
“Everything okay?” I asked.
“I guess talking to Mom and Dad today made me realize there’s still a lot we don’t know about each other.”
“Like what?”
“Well… first off, you’ve mentioned having ex-boyfriends other than Rex. I’ve dated off and on since I was in high school, but it was never anything serious. Not until you.”
I smiled a little. “I like hearing that. Makes me feel extra special.”
“You are, but there’s something I need to ask, and I’m worried it’s going to upset you.”
I went still, knowing where this was going. “It’s about Taylor, isn’t it?”
He nodded. “Yeah. You never talk about her dad, other than to say he’s not in the picture. Taylor’s never brought him up. I think I need to know, Nora. Are we going to have another Rex situation on our hands in the future? Is he dead? In jail? It’s clear he’s not part of your lives, so I’m not worried he’ll show up and suddenly want to play daddy.”
I sighed. It didn’t surprise me he wanted to know. In all honesty, I’d wanted to tell him a few times but had worried how he’d react. I’d opened up to his mom a bit, but even she didn’t know my entire past.
“I got pregnant with Taylor when I was fifteen.” He tensed next to me. “Hey, it’s not what you think. It was consensual.”
“Jesus, Nora. You were a kid! How the fuck can be it considered consensual when you weren’t even old enough to drive?”
Not an uncommon reaction. “We were both fifteen, me and her dad. We’d been friends for a while, and Donovan was struggling to fit in.”
“Sex was the answer?” he asked.
“Yes and no.” It was only partly my story to tell. “Donovan wasn’t sure if he liked girls or boys.”
The anger slowly deflated from Dawson and he sagged against the couch cushions. “Oh. So you and he…”
“Yeah. We decided to try sex to help him figure things out, and I was honestly curious. I’d read a few romances, and sex seemed fun and exciting. It wasn’t. It was painful, messy, and over super fast.”
“And the verdict?” Dawson asked.
“He said it was okay, but that he’d had to think of the boy in class he thought was cute in order to get hard. That pretty much said everything. I told him if I’d known that ahead of time, I could have told him he was gay without sleeping with him.”
Dawson snorted. “No joke. I take it you didn’t use a condom?”
“We did, but he’d gotten it from the bathroom drawer in his parents’ room. Apparently it had expired. We didn’t even know about expiration dates on condoms. For that matter, we barely figured out how to get it on.”
Dawson bit his lip. “Sorry, I’m not laughing, but… you have to admit that part’s a little funny. So what happened to Donovan? Even if he’s gay, shouldn’t he want to be part of Taylor’s life? What made him run out on you?”
“When our parents found out, they had similar reactions. Mine yelled about him taking advantage of me, his said I’d seduced him. Of course, Donovan told them that wasn’t possible since he was gay, which just made everything so much worse.” I closed my eyes a moment, remembering that day clearly. “His parents packed up everything they had within three days and were gone. Since he never contacted me again, I figured he wasn’t interested in our child. After that, my parents threw me out.”
“But… I mean, how did you manage with a baby on the way?”
“A friend’s mom let me stay with them until I finished school. Afterward, I got a job and moved out. And that’s when the cycle of shitty boyfriends started. As for Donovan, his boyfriend got in touch me a few years ago.”
“And?” he asked. “What happened?”
My throat felt tight and I blinked back tears. “Donovan had confessed everything to him, told him he had a baby he’d never seen before. But it was too late.”
“He’s gone then?” Dawson asked softly.
“Yeah. He’d been in a car accident and held on for about two days before he passed away. The boyfriend managed to track me down somehow and wanted to let me know Donovan had thought about me and Taylor in his final moments. I told him about her, and how sorry I was to hear about Donovan. We cried on the phone together.”
Dawson put his arm around my shoulders and pulled me closer to his side. “I’m so sorry, baby. Has Taylor ever asked about him? Does she know who he is or anything?”
I shook my head. Sure, she’d asked me a few times why she didn’t have a dad like everyone else, but after the third time, she’d stopped and acted like she’d just never had one. I wondered if she told her friends she hatched from an egg, got dropped off by a stork, or was grown in a cabbage patch. We hadn’t really discussed it again, even though I probably should have.
“Sorry to dampen the mood,” I said. “We really did have a good day with your parents.”
He kissed my temple. “I’m glad. Mom seems to like you. Dad too, for that matter. And I wouldn’t have brought up such a sad topic, but Mom hinted that I should ask about it. I worried something awful happened, like…”
Ah. He’d worried I’d been raped like the women he’d mentioned to me before, when he’d told me about the Dixie Reapers helping people. I could see where his mom’s insistence that we talk about Taylor’s dad might have made him think such a thing.
“Well, if Taylor needs to tell anyone about her dad, she can tell them he’s a fireman.”
I looked up at him. “Are you serious?”
He nodded. “Yeah. You’re mine now, Nora. Which means Taylor and the baby are too. If she’s going to call my mom Grandma, why can’t she call me Dad? Or is it too soon?”
“I’ll talk to her about it. Thank you, Dawson. I seem to be telling you that a lot.”
He leaned down to kiss me softly. “So stop thanking me. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you, Nora. For all three of you. From now on, we’re family.”