Chapter 7
I’m D girl
Boy this pussy is more than you can manage
I’ll take ya heart and step on it
You ain’t know that I’m a savage
“Savage Heart” by Kema P blared through my surround sound system as I let off shots at my target. I was inside my in-home gun range, letting off some steam. My week had been fucked up, and I was overstimulated about the shit that was happening around me.
It was Mother’s Day, and I was supposed to be heading to my mom’s house so we could start the festivities, but I woke up in the same mood as I’d been in yesterday.
Shooting something was the only alternative to relieve this stress.
My ass was so drunk last night I didn’t even recognize my damn self.
Hence me letting that fine-ass, strange man play me.
I couldn’t even believe myself, letting his tacky behind do that to me, and allowing him to live to tell it.
I promised myself I’d never get drunk at my club again.
I didn’t have sex with random men. I’d only had two sexual partners in my lifetime.
Ben Franklin had always been my man, and I claimed no one but him.
The fact that those few strokes his ass delivered had me stuck made me even angrier.
They were the best few strokes I’d ever felt.
I should have shot him.
I could have, but I didn’t feel like calling Mayani and Megan to come scrape his ass off my floor.
The music cut as I looked over and saw Paige sauntering my way. I was still kind of salty with her about last night, so I ignored her until she came and stood next to me.
“I’ve been calling you all morning.”
“For what?” I asked, reloading my clip.
“I had some news to share with you last night, but you were in your feelings too much to be able to receive it.”
“You’re acting like I don’t have the right to be in my feelings, P. You know Lorenzo is the only man who’s near and dear to me. What possible reason does he have not to want to see us? If we don’t have a problem with it, then why does he?”
“Uncle Lamont told you why. And I’m almost positive that when you went to see Papa Lo the other day, he told you why too.”
“His reasoning is bullshit. My own father disowning his wife and daughters is crazy work.”
“Arie, please stop. I love you, but you’re really blowing this out of proportion.
Put yourself in his shoes. Would you want your family to continue to drive upstate every month to see you for an hour?
It’s been ten years of this. Do you think he wants to keep seeing us and Mama ’Brina for a short period of time, every damn month for five more years? ”
“What’s your news, sis?” I asked, dismissing what she was saying. I didn’t care what his reasoning was or about her trying to make me see the logic.
She chuckled, then picked up the .45 on the table. “I’m getting married.” She began shooting the target next to mine. I stared at her, trying to understand what I just heard. Once she was done, I removed my earmuffs and took the gun from her.
“Say that again for me.”
She smiled. “I’m getting married.”
I frowned. “What do you mean? To who?”
“His name is Harvey, and he lives in South Carolina. I’d been meaning to tell you, but we’ve been on missions and hadn’t really had the time to sit down and kick it for real.” My eyes never left her as I processed what she just told me.
When did she start dating? Hell, when did she take anyone seriously enough to marry them? I was in a state of confusion as she began fiddling with the big-ass rock on her finger.
“P… You have to explain this to me. Since when did you date someone long enough to marry them?”
“I’ve known Harvey for over a year, sis. We would fly back and forth to see each other every other month. I love him.”
“What does he do? Does he know what you do?”
“He’s a BOS.”
“What the hell is that?”
She chuckled. “A business operation specialist. And yes, he knows exactly what I do.”
“And you trust him?”
“I trust him about as much as I trust you. He’s a great guy, and I love him. He allows me to be me, and I do the same. He’s not trying to change me, and I love that about him.”
“Why are you just now telling me about him?”
“Because, Arie… I know you. Not saying you hate men, but you only use them for one thing. I couldn’t risk you telling me that I was making a mistake if I told you I loved him too soon. I want love and want to be loved. I want a family.”
“You have family.”
“My own family, sis. Flesh of my flesh.”
I turned and took a seat on the bench behind me.
I wouldn’t even pretend that I understood where she was coming from.
It’s been fifteen years since the demise of her blood relatives.
There had been many nights when she’d wake up out of her sleep, crying audibly because she missed them.
The grief of losing them didn’t stop; she’d just learned to mask it.
Her happiness was important to me. It didn’t matter how salty I was with her at the moment; I knew I couldn’t fill that void of longing for something you couldn’t have. If marrying this guy brought her peace, then I was here for it.
She came and sat next to me, taking my hand. “I love you, Arie. You, Papa Lo, and Mama ’Brina are the only people in my life that I’d sacrifice anything for... but this, I have to do this for me.”
“I get it, P. But a whole year of hiding him from me is crazy work. I know I don’t give a fuck about these niggas, but I would never project my shit onto you. You’re my sister, and we tell each other everything. I’m low-key offended that you’d think of me that way.”
“Don’t be. I just wanted him to myself for a while.” She smiled at me as I shook my head. “Can I get a smile, a congratulations… something?”
“Congratulations, Paige. I’m happy for you.”
“Bitch, no you ain’t.”
We both laughed.
“No, for real, P. I am happy for you. You deserve happiness and to have your own family. There is nothing I wouldn’t want more for you. I need to meet this nigga, though.”
“You will. He heads back to S.C. tonight, so I invited him to the Mother’s Day brunch to meet you and Mama ’Brina.”
“Wait. How does that work? Is he moving back here once y’all are married?”
Ignoring my question, she said, “Come on. We gotta get to this brunch. We’ll talk more later.” She stood and headed out of my shed.
I shook my head and stood, too, heading out behind her. I had to shake myself from this funk I was in, or it wouldn’t be good for anyone around me today.
We pulled up to my mother’s home thirty minutes later. The banner, the flowers, the balloons, and the balloon arch were over-the-top, but I expected nothing less from Sabrina Logan.
A few cars lined the curb, indicating she had invited some guests.
I mentally prepared myself to deal with the extra personalities because I wanted and needed my mother happy today.
We got out and grabbed her gifts from the back seat, then made our way through the gates to the backyard.
There were tables set with floral centerpieces, nameplates, and fine China.
There was a chef on the grill and a DJ playing her favorite Sade song, “Sweetest Taboo.”
Looking around, I noticed my Aunt Eva, my cousin Lena, my mom’s best friend, Shantè, and her two daughters, Olivia and Raquel. A few of my mother’s old colleagues from the hospital were also in attendance with their daughters.
“My babies are finally here,” my mom said, coming from around the table. She looked radiant in her floral sundress, with her hair pulled away from her face. My mom was a baddie indeed. I had no clue why my father would want to give her up.
“Hey, Mama ’Brina. Happy Mother’s Day,” Paige said, handing her a gift and hugging her.
“Aww, thank you, my precious baby.”
“Happy Mother’s Day, beautiful.” I kissed her cheek and handed over the bag and flowers in my hand.
“Thank you, my sweet angel.” She kissed my cheek.
“Sweet? Angel? Mama ’Brina, I hate to break it to you, but ain’t nothing sweet or angelic about this child,” Paige countered while laughing.
“Well, she’s sweet to me.”
“Let her know, Mommy.”
“Come on, we were just about to start the games,” she stated while nodding toward the tables that were filling up with guests.
“Games?” I asked.
“Yes. You thought we were just going to sit here and look at each other all day?”
“I mean... yeah,” I replied, making Paige snicker.
Moms laughed and shook her head, motioning for us to follow her. Paige and I went around the tables to greet everyone. I kissed my Aunt Eva on the cheek and hugged Lena before taking a seat next to my mother.
After about twenty minutes, I started to loosen up and enjoy myself. I didn’t want to bring my sour mood to my mother on a special day like this, so I sucked it up and played the games she had planned.
While we finished playing “How Well Do You Know Your Mother,” my mom paused, eyes going to the entrance of the gate.
“Who is that?” she asked over the microphone.
Our eyes went to the gate, seeing a tall, sexy, chocolate-ass nigga standing there with flowers and bags in his hand.
Paige stood with a smile. “That’s my date. Excuse me.”
She excused herself from the table as my mom looked down at me. I shrugged while we watched Paige wrap her arms around his neck, and he wrapped his around her waist, then kissed her deeply.
“Well, now! This is a first,” my mom declared.
“Okay, Auntie! Paige done found her a fine, tall glass of chocolate milk.” Lena hyped while we watched them walk over to the table.
“Family. This is Harvey... my fiancé.”
“Say what?” my mom asked, surprised.
Paige blushed—literally fucking blushed.
“Yes… my fiancé. Harvey, this is my bonus mom, Sabrina, my Aunt Eva, my cousin Lena, and this…” she said, looking at me. “This is my sister, Arie. AP for short.”
“Ladies. It’s a pleasure to meet you all. Paige has told me a lot about y’all.”
“Yet she told us nothing about you,” I pointed out.
“Arie,” Paige reprimanded.
I lifted my hands in mock surrender.