Chapter 22
My gun was pressed to his forehead.
All it would take was one shot to end it all.
End this affair, end my love for him, and get revenge on the man responsible for killing my uncle.
I hesitated.
I never hesitated.
I was heartless when it came to eliminating the opposition, so why was I hesitating to end this man?
I knew why, but I couldn’t allow the heart he thawed to think for me. Whereas I thought he was a corporate boss—that turned out to be misleading. He was just as cold-hearted as I, if not worse.
Those dark eyes penetrated me as he placed the pre-rolled blunt to his lips and lit it. He settled onto the couch, pulling on it until a thick cloud of smoke entered his lungs. “If you’re going to pull it, then bang that bitch, Juicy.”
“Fuck you!” I sneered. “You knew all along, didn’t you?”
He didn’t reply right away, and instead exhaled the smoke, clouding my vision. “I did.”
I scoffed. “So, you were playing me the whole time?”
“No. I didn’t know he was your people?—”
“Bullshit! Your whole goal, whole plan, was to get me to fall for you… to knock me off my square. I was fucking stupid! I knew you weren’t shit. But I fell for you anyway.” A tear slipped from my eye.
“I never lied to you, Juice?—”
“Stop fucking calling me that!”
“A’ight. I’m not going to beg for my life if that’s what you’re aiming for me to do.
I love you… ain’t never been a doubt in my mind about that shit.
You’re my queen. My morning sun. If I could take back what happened to lessen your pain, I would.
However, life is life. Business is business.
Your uncle thought he could take something that didn’t belong to him, so that’s how the dice had been rolled, mama.
Shoot your shot, though. Just don’t miss. ”
“I won’t,” I said, clicking off my safety. “But before you die, I need to tell you one thing…” I wiped the tears from my eyes. “I poisoned your son.”
His eyes ballooned before the gun went off.
Pow!
The bullet lodged into the couch near his arm, and still, he didn’t flinch.
I missed.
On purpose, of course.
I shouldn’t have, but this fucking heart he made beat again clouded my judgment. In that split second of my hesitation, Messiah rushed me, relieving me of the gun and tossing it across the room. He tried wrapping his arms around me, but I punched him in his chest repeatedly.
And he allowed me to.
Tears clouded my vision as I continued my assault on him until he finally gripped me in a bear hug, and I broke down in his arms.
“I hate youuu!” I screamed, trying to get out of the hold he had on me—literally and figuratively.
I didn’t want to love him anymore. He took the only piece of my father I had on the outside away from me. Uncle Lamont may have put me in a bind with him stealing their product, but we all could have negotiated this. I was going to make him give that shit back or something .
“I’m sorry, baby. I promise, I am.”
I continued to cry as he held me in his arms. I could hear footsteps rushing down the hall, and Messiah halted whoever it was. I was sure it was his brothers. My back was to whoever it was while Messiah kept an arm around my shoulders and one around my waist.
“Give us a minute,” he insisted.
“Bro, you smoking crack if you think we’re about to leave you alone with her.” That was Moses.
“Her ass just lit up a whole block. Hell nah, we ain’t leaving.” That was Michael.
I didn’t speak. I was too emotional to clap back at their asses, so I remained silent as Messiah sat me down in the chair and looked at his brothers.
“I’m asking y’all to give us a minute.”
They were quiet as I looked over at them, staring at me. “Yeah, okay. But we ain’t too far away… know that,” Moses said, still staring at me.
“I ain’t going to kill him… yet,” I said with a smirk on my face.
Mike reached for his gun on his hip. “See?—”
“Leave!” Messiah roared.
They left the room as Messiah’s eyes landed on me. Before I knew it, he wrapped his hand around my neck and squeezed, lifting me from the chair. I tried to pry his hand away from my neck, but he had a strong grip on me.
“That’s the second time you shot at me and missed. You touched my son when you could have left him out of this shit. I love you, Juice, but I will kill your ass for fucking with my seed.” He let me go as I pushed him out of my face.
“What the fuck did you expect? You killed my fucking uncle?—”
“Your uncle killed his fucking self, Juice! The nigga knew what he did. He knew the consequences behind doing that shit! Same with my father. If you would’ve taken him out, that would have been on him!
I would be fucked up behind it, but it would have been his fault.
It’s the consequence of doing shit that you had no business doing. ”
“So, you’re giving me permission to kill your father?”
He looked at me like I was crazy before he looked away.
Sighing, he answered, sounding depleted.
“Is your uncle’s life worth taking another life?
After you kill my father, what good would that do for you?
Would you be okay if I had your daddy touched behind those bars?
” Anger rose inside of me as I glared at him.
“Let me know if you want to continue to beef with me or love me, Juicy.
Because we can go family member for family member, until eventually one of us behind the gun ends up dead, but I promise you will lose way more than I will.
“Just give me the word, and the only three most important people in your life will be a memory.”
“Fuck you, Messiah! You think we can continue to be together after what you’ve done? What about when you show up to the barbecues, and my aunt and cousin have to look at the man responsible for taking their husband and father away from them? You think they’ll be happy for us and sing our praises?”
“They don’t have to know a thing. I put my heart and trust in you. I let down my guard for a woman I knew very little about, and as soon as I did, the shit made me feel more alive than I’d ever been.” He stepped closer to me, lifting my chin to look him in the eyes.
“Tell me you don’t want this with me. Tell me that you don’t love me and want a life with me, and I’ll give you that. The shit will hurt me, and I’ll probably grieve you for a while, but I’ll respect whatever decision you make. I love you, Juice. Never forget that shit.”
Tears flowed down my cheeks as he placed a soft kiss on my lips. “Stay with me, baby.”
I stared at him before I backed away from his warmth. His eyes bore into mine, pleading with me to stay, but my feelings were in a topsy-turvy whirlwind. I wanted to stay, but my feet and feelings wouldn’t allow me to.
I continued backing up until I reached the door and walked out it… for good.
I leaned against the car, wearing shades to block the heated sun, as I waited for Paige to emerge from the airport.
It had been a week since everything had gone down between Messiah and me, and I had been an emotional wreck.
I hadn’t told my mother about the pregnancy, and I honestly didn’t think I wanted to.
I was still debating whether to keep it or not, so I thought it best to not say anything.
I knew how bad my mother wanted grandchildren, but I just couldn’t see myself birthing a child from a man who had my family murdered.
Although this baby was made out of love, I still felt as if it would be wrong to stay tied to him after what he’d done.
We hadn’t spoken since I walked out on him.
He hadn’t tried to reach out, but he did continue to send gifts to the house, which I would hand over to Mooney to keep or throw away.
Even though we hadn’t talked, I still had Mayani and Megan following him to make sure he hadn’t moved on.
That was going to guarantee his death sentence.
I know. I was being toxic, but oh well. He wasn’t giving that dick to anyone else as long as I was around.
I felt lost, and I knew I just needed my bestie.
She was the only one who could bring some clarity to my clouded world.
As the crowd began to appear from behind the sliding doors, a soft smile graced my lips seeing Paige walk out in her sundress, skin sun-kissed and glowing.
When she saw me, she smiled wider and hurried over to me. “Sissyyyy! I missed you so much!” she exclaimed, wrapping her arms around me.
I hugged her back tightly as the bitch-ass tears surfaced. I was tired of fucking crying. This shit was insane. She pulled away from me. Her smile began to fade, and the look of confusion replaced it. She pulled the shades from my face.
“Oh, Arie…” She pulled me back into her arms, and my cries became audible. I’m sure I looked like hell. She let me cry on her shoulder for a good thirty seconds before she released me. “Come on. You can tell me what’s wrong on the way to my house.”
She grabbed her luggage and opened the passenger door for me to climb inside.
After putting her luggage in the back, she got inside the car and drove off.
We arrived at her house forty minutes later as I lay across her bed, watching her unpack.
I didn’t want to talk in the car, so I waited until we got to her place to tell her all the shit that went down over the last two weeks she’d been gone.
So many emotions crossed her face once I finished my saga that I knew she felt the same way I did.
“Shit, Arie. Like… I totally get why you’re conflicted, but what is your heart telling you?”
“I ain’t listening to my heart right now. That motherfucka betrayed me too.”
She giggled. “Well, your heart has its own mind. You can’t control it when it knows what it wants.”
“Can you just kill me? I don’t want to feel like this anymore.”
“Stop being dramatic?—”
“I’m pregnant!” I blurted out.
Paige stared at me before a smile drew up on her face, and she wrapped her arms around me. “Oh em geeeee! I’m going to be an auntie! Ah!” She clapped excitedly.
“Whoa! Slow down. I can’t keep this baby, Paige.”
“Why the hell not? Arie, do not punish this baby because of him!”
“What the hell am I going to do with a kid? I don’t know how to be someone’s mother.”
“I’m sorry, where the hell they selling the handbooks at to teach you how to be a mother? Papa Lo and Mama ’Brina raised you, and you turned out to be okay.”
I rolled my eyes. “Oh, so teach my child how to shoot and be savage is how I’m supposed to raise them?”
“No. Making sure they are cared for, fed, and given love is all you need to do. You don’t have to raise them how you were raised. Show them a different way… a different path.”
“I don’t know, P. Me and the father ain’t on that type of time anymore. I would need a lot of help.”
“What the hell are me and Mama to you? Chopped suey?”
I fell back on the bed, looking up at the ceiling.
Paige took my silence as a cue to continue. “You really don’t want to give him another chance?”
“I don’t know… He had Lamont killed. Even if Aunt Eva and Lena don’t ever know, I will. It’ll bother me too much.”
“Don’t let it, Arieana. I love Uncle Lamont, too, and I’m going to miss him, but he did something foolish.
It was his consequence. It’s not on you, and I keep telling you that.
It’s unfortunate that Messiah had to be involved, but it’s just the way it had to be.
I’m sure with time things will work out for the better. ”
“I really don’t like your logic, sis.”
“You ain’t gotta like it. Furthermore, I’ll be officially moving to SC next month. We’ll be closing on the house soon.”
Sadness washed over me again. My friend was leaving me. I didn’t want her to go, but I knew I couldn’t hold on to her forever.
“You should come with me… if you want.”
“What?”
“You heard me. Maybe a new scenery would do you some good. Gain some clarity and do some self-reflecting.”
“I don’t want to impose on the newlyweds.”
“Girl, I showed you pictures of the house. There is more than enough room for you. You can stay in the guest house. Harvey doesn’t mind at all, and I’ll make sure he keeps his mouth closed.”
I thought about it for all of ten seconds before I agreed. “You know what? I think I will take you up on your offer.”
“Yayyy! I love you, sis,” she said, hugging me again.
“I love you too.”