8. Chapter Eight
Chapter Eight
MacGregor
I didn’t know if she wanted to hit me or throw me into the fire, so I took a few steps away from the mantel as she tossed the blanket on the couch.
Audrey’s green eyes turned stormy. “Enough playing the victim, MacGregor.”
My hands flew up, and I shook my head. “Audrey, I swear on my dog’s life that I don’t know what happened. If I knew what I did wrong, I’d admit to it and apologize profusely, but I don’t know what I did that was so bad.” I shook my head. “And you won’t accept a blind apology, so I’m kind of all out of ideas. Whatever I did to hurt you… it wasn’t my intention. I thought what we had was special and gave me—”
“Listen, it all happened eons ago. It was the first time it happened to me, so I was probably a little more sensitive to it than I am now.” She waggled her finger. “But I won’t make the same mistake twice.”
My chest tightened as her gaze fell to the window.
The storm didn’t look like it had any intention of stopping. The flakes piled higher, and the chill was starting to feel colder.
“That mistake being me,” I said softly.
“You have a dog?” she asked.
The question threw me. Out of everything I said, that was what caught her attention?
“Yeah. I have a rescue corgi mix. His name is Jasper,” I added.
I cleared my throat.
“How old is he?”
“About nine years old. We aren’t completely sure.” My eyes narrowed on her. “Why does that surprise you?”
“More like shocks me,” she said with a wry smile.
“Okay.” I whipped out my phone and scrolled to some recent photos of Jasper dressed up for Thanksgiving with my family.
“You dress him up?” Her eyes widened. “I can’t even.”
“Can’t even what?”
“You just don’t strike me as a guy who wants responsibility, let alone wants to dress up that responsibility.”
“I can’t let Jasper go around naked. It’s cold in Wyoming.”
She snickered. “How long have you had him?”
“Six years. He’s had many health issues. Pancreatitis, pneumonia…” My voice trailed off, thinking about my blond buddy. I couldn’t imagine never adopting him. “But we’ve gotten through it.”
“Where is he now?”
“One of my brothers is watching him until I get back.”
She eyed the photo and noticed my parents behind Jasper. “Are those your parents?”
I nodded. “Yup.”
“You look like your Dad.”
“Thanks. He’s a pretty amazing guy.”
She looked up at me and opened her mouth before snapping it shut.
I smiled, keeping my eyes on her, noticing a bit of amusement weave through her gaze. “What? You just thought I was the spawn of the devil or something?”
She laughed again and sighed. “I don’t know. When you dumped me, I guess I just figured—”
“I didn’t dump you.”
Even in candlelight, I could see Audrey’s cheeks flush. “No. You’re right. You technically didn’t dump me since we weren’t together.”
Audrey sat down, reached for the blanket she’d thrown off earlier, and sighed heavily. She looked deep in thought, and I wanted to know what churned through her mind.
“I hope the power comes on soon,” she said quietly.
I nodded, sitting in the chair next to the fire. “Me too.”
Her gaze lifted to mine. “I’m usually not an angry person.”
“I know.”
“It’s just seeing you brings it all up again, and I wish I could say that I’d forgotten about you, but I never have.” She shook her head and shrugged. “Which either makes me pathetic or—”
“You’re not pathetic, Audrey. You’re amazing.”
“See? Why do you say that, and why do I fall for it when it comes from your lips?”
“Because it’s true.”
The light from the flames flickered in her eyes, and we sat silently for a few minutes. Even with the fire going, the temperature in the house dropped quickly.
“Why did you do it?” she asked softly.
My stomach stirred with anxiety. We were back to this again. Two versions of events that didn’t align, and I had no idea what, in particular, she was referring to.
So, I decided to retrace my steps that night with her.
“Audrey, that night meant so much to me. We shared dreams, hopes, and what we wanted our futures to look like,” I said, letting out a breath. “And everything aligned so well. It felt wild and unpredictable. The electricity zipping between us was insane. I know we both tried not to get ahead of ourselves, even though we both felt… connected.”
Her eyes met mine, but she didn’t say a word.
“I thought what we had was special.” I sat back in the chair. “And then it was all gone in an instant. There were moments when I wondered if it even happened at all.”
She narrowed her eyes on me. “Gone in an instant? That was your choice.”
Confusion chugged through my veins as I shook my head. “My choice? I don’t get it, Audrey.”
She pulled her blanket a little tighter. “As ridiculous as it sounds, I fell for you. You made me believe you actually cared and that we would start dating to see where things went.”
“I did care. I do care, Audrey.”
“Then why’d you bail?”
I scowled, shaking my head. “I didn’t bail. You cut off contact. I assumed you regretted things.”
She stayed silent, but I saw the fury in her gaze and was utterly at a loss.
“I had never had a one-night stand before you, and you knew that. You made me think that what we shared, that connection we felt, was more about connecting emotionally. Whatever happened that night wouldn’t matter. Timing wouldn’t matter because we’d be together a week later, a month later. You tricked me into having a one-night stand with you, MacGregor. All those dreams and hopes we shared meant nothing when I turned over in the bed and you were gone.”
My breath caught as my heart hammered in my chest.
She thought I stood her up, leaving her the morning after we’d slept together.
Dread filled every cell in my body.
The color drained from my face as I bent my head, sliding my fingers through my hair. The blood rushed through my ears when I realized everything was a colossal misunderstanding.
I raised my head, her eyes studying me as I slowly shook my head.
“You used me, MacGregor. But it was my fault. I was the fool who wanted to believe in love at first sight, pretend like I could find my forever after one conversation…” Her voice trailed off, and she turned to face the fireplace. “I know better now, and meeting you told me everything I needed to know about the dating world.”
“Audrey, I’m so sorry. I don’t even know where to begin.”
Her gaze flashed back to mine. “Why are you acting like this is some big revelation? Some huge surprise you never saw coming?”
I licked my lips and nodded. “Because it is.”
She stood, and the blanket dropped off her as she made her way to the kitchen using only the soft glow of the candles.
Audrey propped her hands on the counter and brought her gaze to mine. “You’re going to sit in my house after I invited you in out of the storm when you had nowhere to go and lie straight to my face.” She bit her bottom lip and shook her head. “Fool me once and all that. I’m calling my brother to take him up on the offer to have you stay at his place.”
Surprise darted through me. “He offered that?”
She nodded and reached for her phone.
“I understand.” My hands steepled in front of me as my elbows remained propped on my knees. “Audrey, everything we spoke about that night, all those feelings… it was real.”
“Real?” Her brows jetted into her forehead. “You really are a player.”
“Audrey, I’m not a player. I fell for you that night. It was like a whirlwind. I didn’t want to believe it. I didn’t even believe our feelings could be true, but when you started kissing me, I couldn’t understand how I’d been this blessed. We had everything in common. We love family. We both want big families. You understood that I might have to look after my brother one day, and you were and are the only woman who understood what that truly meant. We spoke for nine hours straight. Even on the way up to your room, we were like giddy teenagers talking about how crazy our connection was. I still daydream about it today and know I’ll never find it again.”
I remember the look in her eyes when she found out about my younger brother and the special attention he needed growing up. I always knew that I’d look after him when my parents passed. My other brothers would pitch in, too, but I always had the strongest connection with him. She never missed a beat and made me feel whole about the situation.
“Then why’d you bail on me?”
I could hear the pain in her voice, and I wasn’t going to stay on the other side of the room to explain. I couldn’t. It killed me to think that all these years later, she thought I’d left her.
She watched me stand and slowly approach her in the kitchen. She straightened and kept her hand on her phone as the candles on the counter flickered.
“I remember every single thing you told me that night. We started in the bar a little before six and wound up in your room after they shut down at two in the morning.”
“You don’t have to tell me what I already know.” She clenched her jaw and drew a deep breath.
“One thing you told me was that you loved white chocolate mochas with raspberry.”
She frowned. “What does that have to do with anything?”
“Everything.”
Audrey’s frown only deepened.
My heart pounded behind my rib cage as my eyes stayed locked on hers. “I woke up early and lay in bed that morning as you curled into me. Your head was tucked under my arm, and I held you so closely, praying that this truly was it.” I smiled, remembering back to that morning before everything went wrong. “I remember specifically looking at the coffee machine and thinking that wouldn’t cut it after the night before. Your favorite drink popped into my head.”
She froze, and I wondered if, for the first time, she knew where this was headed.
“So, I snuck out, walked a few blocks to a café, and ordered your mocha. When I returned, you were gone. I knocked first, and there was no answer, but I’d hoped you were just in the shower or something. I still had one of your room keys I’d grabbed from the table on the way out, so I let myself in.”
Audrey’s features remained expressionless.
“I called out for you. I checked the shower, under the bed, and behind the curtains. I probably looked like a crazy person, but you had disappeared. It was clear as day. Suitcase, purse, everything was just gone. I panicked and ran down the hall, took the elevator to the lobby, and looked crazed when I got to the lobby. The guy told me you’d just checked out and pointed toward the sidewalk. I ran after you, but you had left.”
“I—” She closed her mouth and shook her head. “I can’t… I don’t believe it.”
“You don’t have to believe it.” I shrugged, feeling her gaze locked on me. “But that is my truth.”
“Then why did you leave the money on the table?”
My eyes widened. “Money on the table? That was for housekeeping. Remember how we joked about making the room a mess because things would be so wild? I threw cash down as a joke.”
“I didn’t see you do that,” she whispered, shaking her head slowly. “I didn’t see that.”
Dread filled me when I realized what she’d thought all those years. That I could, would … pay her.
Her eyes met mine, and she let out a breathless hiccup as her hand moved to her chest.
“I haven’t stopped thinking about you, Audrey. Even after all these years, you are the one woman I always dreamed about and wondered what could have been had we not rushed things.”
She nodded slowly. “We couldn’t help ourselves. The attraction was so strong. The connection.”
“Yeah. It was intense and beautiful and then just… gone.” I shook my head. “I knew you’d never done a one-night stand. I figured you regretted it and wanted to forget about me and us and everything in between. Once I saw that you blocked all social media, I knew I’d better stop.”
Audrey’s gaze stayed on mine, and even with only the flicker of the candle, tears lined her eyelids. She shook her head and studied me in silence, and I wished more than anything that she’d let me make it okay.