18. Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Eighteen
MacGregor
I stared at the flight reservation and felt sick, but I knew it was for the best. Audrey clearly wanted to remain in the friend zone, and it became even more apparent when I went in for a goodnight kiss last night and got her cheek.
I’d go to the Christmas tree ceremony in town and then bug out before the caroling. I didn’t need to get any friendlier with her family. I’d liked them too much and knew it would only make things more difficult for Audrey.
For whatever reason, Audrey didn’t want to give this a chance, and I had to respect it. When I let myself escape to fantasyland, I’d daydream about her forgiving me, laughing, and starting over. That wasn’t in the cards, and I had to face the reality that friends were better than nothing. At least Mother Nature threw in a freak snowstorm, allowing me enough time with Audrey to tell her my version of events.
I pulled on my jacket and went to the lobby, where Audrey awaited me.
Seeing her made my entire body respond like it shouldn’t, not for a friend. She had her hair in a loose braid and wore jeans and a hokey Christmas sweatshirt with a poodle chasing a cat up a Christmas tree. I’d never seen someone look so sensational in my life. Her coat was unzipped, and she slid her hands into her pockets.
“You look festive,” I told her, pulling her in and not realizing what I’d just done.
I let go quickly and laughed, shaking my head. “Sorry. Natural reflex around you.”
Her eyes looked dreamy as she smiled and blinked away a smirk. “It must be the sweatshirt.”
“Totally.” I nodded with a grin.
“Are you a cat person or a dog?” she asked.
“If I had to choose, I’d say dog.”
“Me too.”
It looked like some formula or calculation was spinning around Audrey’s head. Was she still sizing me up or just asking as a friend?
“Snow or sun?” I asked back.
“Snow. I love seasons. It’s why I love living here. I wish we had more of a winter.”
“Wyoming has a pretty good winter… lots of snow.” I grinned, knowing I didn’t have much to lose. “You know, just throwing it out there.”
“I’ve heard that,” she joked, catching my gaze. “I’ll have to visit sometime.”
“I’d love it if you did.” I meant it with everything in my soul. “Maybe soon?”
“Not until after the holidays. It’s our busy season. Christmas and early summer, we are swamped.”
I nodded. “Well, just keep it in the back of your head. You can stay at my place. I have four guest rooms.”
“Four?”
I nodded. “Actually, four and an office. I built it thinking ahead.”
“Ahead to what?” she asked, keeping her eyes on mine.
“A family… kids one day.”
“Oh, yeah. Right.” She laughed and shook her head. “I just. It just…” She didn’t finish. Instead, she cleared her throat and glanced toward the door.
“But at the rate it’s going, they might just be guest rooms forever.”
The smile returned to Audrey’s lips, and I let out a slow breath, trying to gauge what was going through her mind. Did she regret putting me in the friend zone, or was she relieved?
“Any big plans for the weekend after I leave?”
Her cheeks immediately flushed, and I realized she might have some.
“No.” She shook her head. “I think I need some time to regroup. Think about things. My idea of a fun time obviously hasn’t been panning out for me.”
“I hope that doesn’t have to do with me.”
Her smile only widened. “Only in a good way. Ready?”
She zipped up her coat as we walked through the lobby to the door. I pushed it open for us, and she walked under my arm.
The crisp air reminded me that the snowstorm was slow to leave, but I welcomed the temperature compared to the Wyoming winters. The annual Christmas tree lighting ceremony looked like a massive event for the island. The sidewalks were filled with families and couples slowly making their way to the center of town.
The square near the park at the end of town bustled with activity. I spotted Bryce and his dog and laughed at the thought of him as a player while Bethany stood beside him, happily chatting away.
Those two seemed like a good match, but what did I know? I thought Audrey and I were perfect for one another.
“Thanks for doing this with me,” she said, glancing over at me.
“I wouldn’t miss it for the world.” I squeezed her closer and let go, so it didn’t seem like anything more than a friendly hug. “But I won’t be able to join you guys for caroling.”
Her eyes shot to mine as I pressed my lips into a thin line and shrugged. “There was a red-eye flight I managed to book tonight. Otherwise, I’d have to wait a few more days, and since…”
“No. I totally get it.” She didn’t even let me finish but nodded quickly. “I think that’s a good idea, or Jasper will forget who you are.”
I nodded. “Thanks for understanding.”
“Totally.” She patted my arm, and I wanted to stop in the sea of people, pull her into me, beg her to give us a chance, and kiss her.
I chuckled to myself and shook my head.
“What are you thinking about?” she asked, looking up at me as we slowly made our way to the square.
“How much I’m going to miss you.” I smiled. “My brothers just aren’t the same regarding company.”
She chuckled, shaking her head. “I’m sure you can find plenty of people to keep you company.”
“I haven’t so far.”
Audrey’s gaze flew to mine, but she dropped it quickly.
As we walked closer to the park, Christmas music from a choir boomed through the air. Vendors selling hot cocoa, kettle corn, and roasted chestnuts lined the sidewalk surrounding the towering tree.
I spotted Audrey’s family bundled in coats, hats, and gloves. Her mom sipped from a cup of cocoa before spotting Audrey and me and waving us over.
My chest tightened, hoping they wouldn’t notice anything had changed between us.
“You made it,” Amelia said, holding James while their little one stood staring at the tree.
It was hard to understand what was going on with Audrey. There were moments when I’d catch her looking at me, or her sisters would look at me in a way that told me they knew more about me than I estimated.
But if we were only friends, then why?
“The tree looks beautiful,” I told Audrey, and she nodded.
“And it’s not even lit yet.” She smiled, resting her head on my shoulder, then suddenly lifted it and looked around.
“Forget we aren’t together?” I whispered in her ear.
She smiled and let out a sigh as she rolled her eyes. “Pesky little details.”
I laughed, draping my arm over her shoulders and pulling her in gently.
Her body relaxed into mine as I tried to memorize everything about this moment.
A man stood on a platform and tapped the microphone.
“Thank you all for being here tonight as we light up Curiosity Bay.”
The crowd cheered, and Audrey’s eyes danced with excitement. She clutched my hands, and I wished with everything I had that she would change her mind.
“So cool,” she whispered.
I nodded in agreement as the man lifted his arms and started the countdown as the crowd hollered the numbers with him.
The towering tree lit up in dazzling white and red twinkle lights as the numbers teetered between one and zero.
The crowd cheered, and Audrey spun around. Her eyes danced with the same wonder I’d seen so many times before with her. Whether we were tossing snowballs at one another or trading jabs at Mae’s wedding, this mischievous delight always entranced me.
She wrapped her arms around my neck, and it took everything in me not to kiss her.
“Isn’t it beautiful?” she asked, staring into my eyes.
I nodded slowly as I felt her family watching us.
“Not as beautiful as you, Audrey,” I whispered.
A soft smile touched Audrey’s lips as she nodded. “Thank you for being you, MacGregor, and letting me be me.”
“There’s no one I’d rather you be,” I told her as she took a step back.
I swore I felt a collective and defeated sigh come from her family. I looked over at her sisters, who averted their eyes to the tree, and I took a deep breath.
“Did you tell your sisters we aren’t together?” I asked quietly.
“Yeah. It just came out at work today.” She looked at her parents. “But I don’t think they told Mom and Dad.”
I nodded, realizing how hard it would be to leave Marigold Island.
To leave Audrey Evans.
The choir started singing Joy to the World as I studied Audrey while she stared at the tree.
I could pretend she was sending mixed signals, but I knew better. She’d always been touchy-feely, flirty, kind…
“Would you like some hot cocoa before I head out?” I asked, bending toward her ear so she could hear me over the choir.
She spun around and nodded as her eyes searched mine. “Yeah. I’d love some.”
Audrey linked our arms as we walked over to the hot cocoa cart. We both ordered peppermint and quietly stood waiting for our drinks.
“I’m going to miss you,” Audrey finally said, turning toward me.
“This is harder than I thought,” I confessed as we reached for our drinks.
She nodded and took a sip. “But it’s for the best.”
I let out a deep breath and nodded. “How do you figure?”
“You deserve happiness.”
“And what if I know that’s only going to happen with you?”
She smiled and nodded, bringing her gaze to mine. “I think you only feel that because you needed closure.”
Her words felt like a million little nails to my heart.
I laughed nervously. “Seeing you again didn’t bring me any closure whatsoever. It only made me want you more.”
Her breath caught, and she glanced over at her family. “Do you want me or the version of me you’ve held onto all these years?”
A storm stirred behind her eyes, and I knew now that she was grasping at anything. A mistake was being made here tonight, and there wasn’t a thing I could do about it.
She touched my cheek and smiled. “You’re incredible, MacGregor, and I’m sorry I gave you such a hard time. I’m also sorry I jumped to such an awful conclusion many years ago.”
“Me too.”
“But my choices have gotten me here, and I just don’t think I can shake everything off in two seconds.”
I nodded and drew a deep breath, letting it out slowly. “I hope that I can change your mind someday. We have the power to make better choices that can lead to better outcomes.”
“Just promise me friendship, MacGregor.”
“You’ll have the best damn friend in me. You won’t even know where to begin.”
She chuckled, and I quickly kissed her cheek, but all it did was make me crave her more.
“I'd better get going.”
“It’s been good seeing you, MacGregor.”
“You too, Audrey.” I let out a sigh. “Fatherhood calls.”
Her eyes widened. “What?”
“Jasper. I meant Jasper.”
She chuckled and shook her head. “See? I’m telling you that I need to focus on myself. My mind always goes to the wrong assumption.”
“I can see that.” I smiled, wishing this trip had ended some other way.