49 - Frankie
49
Frankie
—
For the next week, I pick up every shift available and throw myself into work.
When I’m not doing rounds in the trauma unit, I run on the treadmill in the PT wing, spill my guts to Rhett in his office, or hole up in the on-call room, reading everything I can find on Pushkin and his poems.
I’m scared to leave the hospital, even with my bodyguards. So I don’t.
I traded one prison for another, and if I don’t keep busy, I’ll curl up in the corner and sob until I break.
Leaving my entire world on that dock felt so brave.
And self-condemning.
It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. But what choice did I have?
If I stayed with Monty, it would’ve meant choosing him. If I went with Leo and Kody, it would’ve meant choosing them. Either option would’ve destroyed the fragile bond among the men I love.
My betrayal may have already done that.
I never intended to fall back in love with Monty.
So here I am, sitting on the bottom bunk in the tiny on-call room, hugging my knees to my chest, and fighting back tears for the hundredth time today.
I don’t want to be alone. But more than that, I don’t want them to be alone. I want them to be together.
So much of their lives has been taken from them. I can’t fix our cracked past. But I can learn from it and help them create a better future. I can trust that they’ll find their way back to one another.
As long as I’m not there to fuck it up.
A knock sounds on the door.
“Yeah?” I call out.
“It’s Rhett.”
“Come in.”
It’s his hospital, but he always knocks.
The door swings open, revealing my guards on the other side. They’re on a regular rotation, but still. What a tedious assignment following me around the hospital all day and night.
Rhett strides in, clutching a greasy brown bag. The unmistakable aroma of burgers and fries follows him.
My mouth salivates.
“Didn’t want you losing any more weight.” He drops the bag on the bed beside me.
“Thank you.” I dig into it. “You know, when Monty cheated on me, I stopped eating. On some fucked-up level, I was trying to vanish as a form of revenge.” I shove a handful of fries into my mouth. “I’m not that woman anymore.”
He knows all the ugly details of my life. Over the past week, I told him everything that happened from the moment I was abducted to the almost-kiss that led me here, seeking a safe place to sleep.
At first, I started spilling the tea just to see his reaction. I don’t want to suspect my only friend, but at this point, I suspect everyone.
But I haven’t sensed anything in his eyes, demeanor, or conversation to indicate malevolence.
He’s the only person in my life who hasn’t caused me pain over the past year.
“I’m losing weight because…” I chew off a huge bite of the burger. “Hospital food sucks.”
“I told you to stay at my house. I’m never home, and there’s a grocery store within walking distance.”
“Thank you, but I won’t endanger you. You’re risking your life just by talking to me.”
He glances around the cramped room. Metal bunk bed, bookshelf, desk—it reminds me of my university dorm room.
“Are your guards still checking for cameras?” he asks.
“Every day. I don’t know how the stalker monitors my activity, but since I’ve left the island, I don’t have that constant feeling of being watched.”
“Good.”
“Doesn’t lower the risk, though. I’m serious, Rhett. You shouldn’t be here.”
When I suspected Doyle’s motivations, he went missing. When I suspected Sirena, she went missing. I don’t want to suspect Rhett, and I sure as hell don’t want parts of his anatomy showing up.
I need to keep space between us for his safety.
“How long will you let this go on?” he asks.
“I’m just staying here until I figure things out.” I finish off the burger and move on to the fries.
“You married a man with more money than God, and you’re sleeping on threadbare sheets in a cold hospital. Alone. Your problems can be fixed, Frankie. But they won’t fix themselves.”
“My problems are cute little puppies in a pet shop window. I saw them and knew they were trouble. Then they licked my face and peed on my leg, and I just had to have them. I had to have all of them. I took them home, and they gained weight and became wolves and tried to kill one another. And I love them even more.”
“Those men were never cute little puppies.”
“And the cabin wasn’t a pet shop. It’s an allegory, Rhett. I’m trying to make a point.”
“I get it.” He steps toward the door. “Stay as long as you want, but you and I both know you’re safer with them.” He pauses with his hand on the knob. “One of them is in the hospital as we speak.”
I sigh. They’ve been showing up every day since I left. Monty pops in to double and triple-check my security. Kody’s appearances are more stealthy. I never see him, but I know he’s stalking me from the shadows. Leo always rolls in like a storm, vibrating with rage and ready to fight.
“Which one?” I ask.
“The Norse god of thunder.”
I groan.
When Leo crashed into the trauma unit two days ago, he was aggressive, demanding, and refused to leave without me. I know he and Kody are staying in Kody’s apartment at the distillery. I watch them through the tracking app on my phone only because I’m desperate to know if they’re reconciling with Monty. Or getting help. Or doing anything to improve their situation.
Leaving them wasn’t enough.
I must stay gone.
And that’s where my big brave plan crashes and burns.
I’m so fucking lonely, scared, and sick with guilt. My eyes leak constantly, my remorse so strong they can scent it across the Sound. I ache everywhere—my teeth, my throat, my chest. God, the constricting pain in my chest makes it so hard to breathe. Every stab, every rib-cracking heartbeat urges me to go to them.
But who would I run to? Which one would I choose?
I can’t. I won’t do it.
I must train my heart to be the door, not the mat. Change the locks on it. Don’t let them in unless they show up together, united.
I can do this. I have a room just my size. A head full of memories. A mind like a sharpie that draws thick, bold lines. A heart like a four-person bed, big enough to hold all of us. Except it has a hole in it the size of the Arctic, and it’s cold. So fucking cold.
But I can do this. I must.
“I’ll handle it.” Standing, I brush the crumbs off my scrubs.
“He’s injured.”
“Injured how?” My breath sputters. “What happened?”
“Bar fight. He has a deep cut on his head and refuses to let anyone treat him. He’s demanding that you do it.”
“Where is he?”
“Exam room three.” He opens the door. “Good luck.”
“Thanks.” Pulse racing, I follow him out and hurry to the ER.
Leo sits on the hospital bed, his intense gaze locking onto mine. I close the curtain, and the tension between us crackles, spitting static across my skin.
Blood trickles down his face from a deep gash along his hairline. He looks ferocious. Brutally beautiful.
Goosebumps spread across my flesh, awakening my senses.
He holds out his hand.
If I take it, he’ll yank me between those powerful thighs and kiss me until I beg for his cock.
I’m not stupid.
“Frankie,” he rumbles, low and demanding. “Come here.”
“You need medical attention.” I turn toward the supply cart.
“I need you,” he snaps, frustration boiling over. “Just you.”
“Lie down so I can clean that wound.”
He obeys, lying back on the table with a wince. I gather the necessary supplies, my hands shaking as I approach him.
“Tell me what happened.” I gently clean the wound, working quickly and efficiently despite the turmoil inside me.
His eyes burn, a pair of multicolored blades, tracking my every move. “I went to a bar.”
“Kody’s?”
“No.”
“And?”
“The women wouldn’t leave me in peace. So I voiced my thoughts about it.”
“You did the growly thing and scared them?”
“Sure. Whatever. Some of the guys didn’t like that. They struck first, and I needed to blow off some steam.”
“Is this gash from a beer bottle?” I finish cleaning the area.
“Yeah.”
“What condition are they in?”
“Worse than me. And drunk.”
“How are you not in jail?”
“Self-defense. Six against one. The cops let me walk.”
“Are you hurt anywhere else?”
“No.”
Six men attacked him? And he only has one cut?
Fuck.
As I prepare to give him a local anesthetic, he grips my arm.
“No numbing,” he says. “I need to feel this.”
“Why?”
“Need to feel your hands on me.”
My chest squeezes and cracks.
With blurry, wet vision, I focus on the task. Neither of us speaks while I stitch the deep cut. But his eyes never leave mine. Not once.
Finished, I set the supplies aside. Then I give him what he really came here for.
I place my hands on the sharp edges of his face and slide them to his ears, his neck, and into his hair. Bending, I drag my nose along his and nuzzle him.
He loosens a rough exhale and wraps a muscled arm around me, hauling me onto the bed, right on top of his prone body.
So much for changing the locks on my heart.
Relaxing my weight, I rest my head on his shoulder and breathe in his manly garage and cedar scent.
When he says nothing, I go first.
“I’m sorry.”
He waits, his silence uncharacteristically patient.
“I touched Monty’s chest, his stomach, and he kissed me. I didn’t kiss him back. I didn’t push him away, either. I didn’t stop him.”
“You wanted to kiss him.”
“Yes, but not without you. I don’t want him without you, and I don’t want to exclude him.” My throat burns. “In a perfect world, all four of us are together.”
“That’s your perfect world.”
“How is it not yours? You have a relationship with him. It’s not like your bond with Kody, but it can be. It can be whatever you let it be. I’ve seen the love among the three of you. I’m not asking you to share me with someone you despise. If you replay the past five months you’ve spent with him, is there any part you hated? Does he make you miserable? He put a roof over your head, helped you pursue your dreams, bought you yachts and motorcycles, and—”
“I know, Frankie.” His jaw flexes against my head. “I fucking know. I owe him everything, but I will not give you up as payment.”
“No one is asking you to do that.”
“He is. Maybe not as payment, but that’s what he wants.”
“Change his mind.”
He barks an incredulous laugh.
“Have you seen him?” I ask. “Talked to him?”
“We talk over text.”
“About?”
“Your safety. The investigation. The search for the cabin.”
The guards keep me updated on that. There’s been no progress. No contact from my stalker or The Ghost. With Sirena’s disappearance, the scouting mission in the Arctic has been put on hold.
“I’m sorry for what I said that night.” He turns his head, pressing a kiss to my brow. “I know you haven’t been fucking around with him. I know what we walked in on was an unintentional moment. Your hands were at your sides. Your back was to the wall. Your lips were closed. You weren’t pursuing him. He was pursuing you.”
“Don’t villainize him. He never forced me, and I wanted to kiss him back.”
“I know. He loves you. Who can blame him?”
I lift my head, my eyes achy with tears as I search his face.
“I’m lost without you, Frankie.”
“And I’m lost without you. At least you have Kody. Monty’s completely alone.”
“So are you.”
My mouth trembles. I don’t want to cry. I need to be strong. Strong enough to support them through this.
But I’m not strong enough to stop his lips from lifting to mine. Not with his hand cradling my skull so lovingly.
It’s not a kiss. There’s no movement, no deepening. I hold still, giving him the same response I gave Monty. Just a touch of lips. An intimate moment of affection. A breath of love.
Then I pull back.
His hands fall away, and I feel an instant, harrowing sense of loss.
I want him closer. Of course I do. The tension in my thighs and the tightening in my core signal a unified craving, demanding I give in.
That’s a problem.
I made a decision. I won’t choose between them, and I won’t waver.
Steeling my spine, I climb off the bed and meet his eyes.
He’s breathless, angry, and staring back at me. “This isn’t forever.”
Forever without him?
The thought buckles my knees.
I grip the bed for support. “Family is forever. Find your way back to Monty. Talk to someone about your childhood abuse. Then come back to me.”
“Those are your terms?”
“Yes.”
His neck stiffens, and he looks away.
“Promise me, Leo. Promise me you’ll take care of one another.”
“I’ll try.” Standing, he leans in and presses a gentle kiss on my forehead.
I close my eyes, letting myself feel the depth of his love.
Too soon, he pulls away and walks out, leaving me standing alone in the empty room with a hollow ache in my chest and a lump in my throat.
Then I climb onto the bed, curl up in a ball, and cry.