Chapter 34
Charlie had kissed Elias exactly twice before: once in his bed while he was made of shadow, and once at homecoming, when she’d wanted to distract him from how she was prying for information.
The first kiss had been desperate, furious, and dangerous.
Her body had felt like it was lifted from the earth, tossed about in the wind, and the wind had been fire and fury and longing.
She hadn’t fought to stay on the ground, but she’d known that, when her toes touched the dirt again, she would regret the flight.
The second had been an act. She’d be lying if she said that no part of her had wanted to kiss Elias that night, but desire wasn’t the real reason she’d put her lips to his. She’d kissed him as a diversion, an attempt to replace suspicion with lust.
Their third kiss was nothing like the first two.
Their third kiss was soft. Sweet. A tentative question, a brush of skin on skin with scattering bubbles and a thin layer of water between. It was intentional, an admittance of the strange thing that ran between them, even if she couldn’t quite name what that was.
And they fit. They fit so well. His mouth molded perfectly to hers, as if they’d been made to be together, two halves of one whole.
When her lips first touched his, Elias froze.
His back tensed. His arms and legs went rigid.
Charlie laid one hand gently on the back of his neck and knotted the other in his floating hair.
He seemed stunned into stillness. He seemed, briefly, like someone who wasn’t sure whether they were awake or in a dream.
She increased the pressure of the kiss just slightly—searching but certain, both a question and an answer. She wanted to touch every part of him. Their bodies were floating upward. Rising slowly, like comets climbing the night sky.
They were halfway to the surface when Elias seemed to realize that this was not a dream.
One hand found her face. The other stayed at her lower back, but increased its pressure, pulling her flush to his chest. Their bodies were weightless in the water.
His lips moved on hers, hungry, desperate.
He wanted this. He wanted her. And the knowledge of that, the confirmation that her hunger was not one-sided …
it was like a thousand cannons firing in her stomach. Setting her entire body ablaze.
Their heads broke the surface of the water, and they broke apart only for long enough to take one deep breath before crushing their mouths back together.
Elias kept Charlie clutched to his chest. His hands were somehow both gentle and possessive at once.
He didn’t want the kiss to end. She didn’t, either.
In that moment, she could think of nothing worse than for there to be space between them.
Charlie felt like she was thirteen again, being kissed for the first time in her life.
The newness was overwhelming. The pounding of her heart, as if it were about to implode.
The buzzing in her toes. The knot of her insides, somehow both smooth and warm as peanut butter and tighter than a rubber band.
She wanted to be even closer to him. She wanted to climb into his body, to wrap herself in his skin, to see what the world looked like from his eyes …
Elias pulled away first. His hands stayed on Charlie’s cheeks as their eyes fluttered open, blinking away droplets of water.
He had pulled away just an inch, only enough that they could finally inhale and exhale in long, ragged breaths—but still so close that Charlie could make out every fractured line weaving through the pools of brilliant green.
“Forest,” he said, voice hoarse. “Now.”
She didn’t need him to say it twice. She nodded without looking away. His left hand slid down her cheek, whispering along the side of her body until it found her palm. His fingers twined with hers as he pulled her gently toward shore.
Charlie didn’t care that it was impractical to swim holding hands.
She didn’t care that the entire school was probably watching them.
She could think only about the current running from his fingers into hers, as if she were holding on to an electric fence instead of a human being, as if her whole body had become a live wire.
When they made it to shore, Elias dropped her hand. He raised one eyebrow, tilting his head toward the trees. She nodded that he should go first, that she would follow. Not a word was exchanged, but they understood each other all the same.
As he slipped off, Charlie took several deep breaths, trying to steady her pounding heart. She knew it wouldn’t work. An army of fireflies were whirling through her stomach, tickling her center, lighting her up from within. There was no calming herself down now.
From beside her feet came a familiar squeak.
Shit, she thought. I forgot about Henry.
She looked down at her v?tte, who was staring up at her and projecting colors of confusion into her mind. “Hey, buddy,” she said, crouching down next to him. Her clothes were sopping wet, dripping onto the sand. “I’m going to go into the forest for a bit. Okay?”
I COME?
Charlie had to smother a laugh.
“No, bud,” she said. “Not this time.”
WHY NOT?
“Because I need you here to keep watch over everyone in case Rattatosk shows up. Got it?”
Henry nodded vigorously, before he spun around and waddled away.
Charlie stood, her heart thumping wildly. She looked over at the trees, spotting a slice of pale skin and dark hair disappearing into the shadows. He would go far enough into the forest that no one could see or hear them. If she didn’t want to lose him, she’d have to follow now.
She took off at a run.
As she sprinted up the sand, a smile broke out on her face.
This was what Charlie was meant to do. How she was meant to live.
No more rigid rules and secret desire. She had finally let go of her vice grip on the stone of life, finally let herself be swept down the rushing river.
She hurtled over a log and slipped into the trees.
Elias picked up his speed, weaving through the trunks, leading them farther and farther into the forest. She didn’t care.
She knew he wasn’t going to hurt her. She knew it the same way that she knew Henry was safe down on the beach—could feel it in her bones, like instinct, like muscle.
At last, maybe a half mile from the party, Elias came to a stop. They were in a small clearing lit by moonlight.
Charlie skidded to a halt behind him.
Slowly, so slowly, Elias turned around to face her. For a long moment, they just stared at each other. A squirrel darted up a tree. A will-o’-the-wisp swung its lamp one clearing over. An owl hooted in the distance.
“Admit it,” she said suddenly.
She hadn’t known the words were going to come out, but now she wanted to hear him say it, needed to.
Elias tilted his head. “Admit what?”
“Your emotions.” Her chest rose and fell. Gods she was nervous. It felt as if everything was riding on this moment. On what happened next. “They’re back. You can feel again.”
Elias’s face, which had been unusually open all night, shuttered at once: brows dropping, eyes flattening, lips pressing into a tight line. His head dropped and he started to turn away. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Don’t.” She reached out and grabbed his wrist, yanking him back to face her.
She knew she didn’t need to be delicate—not with him.
His eyes flew back to hers, widening with surprise at the ferocity of her response.
“Don’t pretend the last few days have meant nothing to you.
That you aren’t different now. Don’t pretend that when you look at me, you feel nothing, not even—”
Elias lunged.
His hands grabbed her face. His lips crashed into hers, claiming her mouth in a heady mixture of skin and desire.
Her response was immediate, arms shooting up and twining around his neck and the back of his head.
She threw one leg up and over Elias’s hips, pulling him in as close as she could.
He groaned, a small sound of surprise and pleasure that filled her with immense satisfaction.
But the surprise didn’t last long. He dove eagerly back into the kiss, deepening it, exploring her mouth with his.
His hands released her face, dropping to her thighs and pulling her up and around him.
Once he had a firm grip on her body, he started to move, backing her up into the nearest tree. The bark dug into her wet clothes.
“Fine,” he said at last, breaking away just enough to speak against her mouth. His voice was low and scratchy. “You’re right. I can feel again. Why do you need to hear me say it?”
“Because I do.” Her hands slid down his spine and back up again, sending a shiver through his warm body. “Because I need to know that I can trust you. That you’re really here with me.”
He exhaled, his breath ghosting along her jaw. Instead of answering immediately, his head angled down, lips pressing a soft kiss to her collarbone. Her head fell backward, eyes fluttering shut.
“I’m here with you, Charlie,” he whispered against her skin. “I’m here, and I’m not leaving anytime soon.”
He kissed the base of her neck, then a bit higher, then higher still. His last words were spoken against the skin between her neck and jaw. “I’m yours to command for however long you’ll have me.”
A sound like a strangled groan came from the back of her throat.
She was starving for him. She would stay in this clearing all night if she could.
“Charlie?”
Abigail’s voice yanked Charlie from her lust-filled high like a tooth being pulled without anything to numb the pain.
She unlocked her legs and shoved Elias away so quickly you’d think his skin was made of hot coals.
Her body dropped roughly to the ground, causing her to stumble and nearly twist her ankle.
She wiped her lips with the back of her hand, as if it would somehow hide the evidence of what she’d done.