Epilogue #2
I blew out my breath and started walking towards the car. The guilt and self-hate that had been festering for decades bubbled up inside me, dark and toxic. Twice, I nearly veered off and headed for the stables instead. But I had to do this. Because if I felt this way, how did he feel?
Valentin looked up as I approached and frowned at my expression. “Brother?”
I swallowed and put a hand on his shoulder. “We need to talk,” I rasped.
There was some woodland near the stables, and we wandered deep into it. The sunset made the trees throw out long, black shadows, and the darkness made it easier, somehow.
I started in halting, awkward little rushes of words, scowling at the ground as I talked. I could feel the familiar weight of everything I was—Aristov, Russian, a man—trying to silence me. We don’t do this. We don’t talk about these things.
But I could see Valentin throwing quick little glances at me that looked almost hopeful. That pushed me on…and the more I spoke, the more I felt like I was wriggling free from under all that tradition. It hadn’t been protecting me; it had been trapping me.
“I never meant for it to happen,” I told Valentin. “If I could go back and bow and scrape to that bastard Svetoslav, so he didn’t rape you, I would. In a heartbeat.”
“I know that.” Valentin grabbed my arm. “Gennadiy, I don’t blame you. I never did. But–” He looked at me, his eyes full of pain, and his voice hitched. “Afterwards…”
“We never talked about it,” I said guiltily.
“I—” Valentin looked away. “I thought–”
My stomach dropped as realization hit. “No!”
“—I thought you were…disgusted with me.”
I threw my arms around him and hugged him tight. “No! Brother, no! I just felt so guilty that it happened! I never felt that about you, ever! You’re my brother, I could never…” I squeezed him even harder. All these years!
We stood like that for a long time, until the sun had sunk below the horizon and the sky had turned from copper and scarlet to deep blue.
Then we trudged back to the stables, our arms around each other’s shoulders.
Something had lifted from both of us, but more than that…
we’d opened a door that should never have been slammed shut.
We knew we could do this again if we needed to.
I could feel a space in my center, where the guilt had been, and it felt new and jarring and tender, after living with the guilt for so long. It slowly dawned on me that I could fill it with something else, now. Something good.
As we neared the stables, I saw Alison emerge from them.
She was walking with that graceful prowl, her jodhpur-clad legs pale in the light of the rising moon.
Valentin patted my back affectionately and gave me a tiny push, and I was off and running, covering the field in big, eager strides.
I grabbed Alison’s waist, and she whooped as I picked her up and whirled her around.
I knew what I wanted my future to be.
One Week Later
Alison
I groaned in ecstasy. I had a waterproof pillow positioned just-so to cushion my head on the edge of the tub, the water was hot enough to soak all the tension out of my muscles, and the bath bomb Bronwyn had given me made it smell like I was drifting through a tropical paradise full of fruit and flowers.
I’d never had a big bathtub before, and I’d never had the time to indulge in a proper bubble bath.
But one thing I had plenty of right now was time: five weeks on from leaving the FBI, I still had no idea what I was going to do with my life.
And seeing Bronwyn’s minor obsession with baths had made me curious. Now I understood.
“This is your fifteen-minute call,” murmured Gennadiy as he walked past. He looked down at my bare, gleaming shoulders and the tops of my breasts, just visible above the bubbles, and his eyes gleamed.
“I don’t have to get out yet,” I mumbled dreamily. “I can be ready in ten minutes.” I let myself sink a little lower in the tub until my lips were brushing the surface. “Maybe five bububub.”
Gennadiy smiled indulgently—he was smiling more, these days—and perched on the edge of the tub. “Five minutes might be pushing it. Not even you could get ready in five.”
That sounded like a challenge. “Wanna bet?”
He cocked his head. Are you kidding?
“Five minutes,” I insisted.
“And if you lose the bet?” he asked. He was trying to sound casual, but I could hear the lust in his voice.
“You get to tie me up,” I said immediately. And flushed.
“And if I lose the bet?”
I hadn’t thought that far ahead. “I get to tie you up. And ride your face like a horse.”
Gennadiy threw back his head and laughed, then nodded. We grinned at each other. The rivalry was still there, and it bound us together even tighter.
Ten minutes later, I erupted out of the tub, sending Gennadiy ducking for cover.
I whipped a towel over my body, pulled on a bra, and then rolled on my back on the bed, pulling hold-ups up my legs.
I jumped up, grabbed a dress, and pulled it over my head while my feet felt their way into my heels.
I leaned forward over the mirror, grabbed some lipstick, and carefully applied it, then brushed a touch of blusher on my cheeks. “Done,” I said breathlessly.
“Four minutes and fifty-eight seconds,” Gennadiy said doubtfully. “But it doesn’t count.”
“Why not?”
“You’re not wearing panties.”
“A choice,” I said breezily. “Not an oversight.”
His eyes locked on my groin, and he cursed under his breath. “You do this deliberately,” he growled. “You know I want you so much, I’ll let you get away with anything.”
I smirked and offered him my arm. He sighed good-naturedly, and we walked arm in arm to the door.
Every time I stepped out into the hallway and saw the line of polished wood doors and the long, scarlet carpet stretching the length of the east wing, I still had a wobbly second where I felt like I was in a movie.
I wasn’t sure I’d ever get used to living like this.
I still got flummoxed every time Melina, the maid, curtsied to me, and I still kept asking, unsuccessfully, if she wanted help making the beds.
But…honestly? Throwing my clothes in a laundry basket and then finding them back in my closet, washed and pressed, and hanging on hangers? Kind of magical.
As we walked downstairs, Gennadiy was rubbing my ass through the thin fabric of my dress, delighting in my lack of underwear.
I hope it’s a short meeting. Wearing dresses still felt new and strange.
I still mostly wore jeans in public, but I was gradually building up my confidence and showing my legs more.
Downstairs, the Aristovs were gathering.
We ran into Mikhail and his dogs first, and we spent a happy few minutes giving ear scratches and being batted by fluffy, excited tails.
Then Valentin appeared. Like Gennadiy, he seemed a little lighter since the two of them had talked.
I looked at the necklace he wore, the silver bird catching the light.
Who was Ruslana? And was he ever going to be able to let go of her and heal that broken heart?
Bronwyn and Radimir arrived just as we were moving through to the dining room.
I was still coming to terms with how Caroline had betrayed me, but just as I’d lost one friend, I’d made a new one.
Bronwyn and I were getting to be close: both of us were new to all this, and she was helping me to navigate both the Bratva and the lifestyle that went with it.
She’d made me an appointment with her personal stylist to help me dress the part but, just as importantly, we’d had some deep conversations over coffee at her bookstore.
As Radimir and Gennadiy marched ahead, I pulled her aside. “How’d it go? Did you have the talk?”
Bronwyn nodded. “I told him I wasn’t ready, after the poisoning. I told him I’m just not sure it’s safe to bring a child into our world.”
“How’d he take it?” I asked.
She smiled. “He said, Krasavitsa, take all the time you need. I’ll wait forever.” Her smile became sad. “I just hope I can get past this. I want to make him happy.”
“You already do,” I told her firmly, and gave her a hug.
We took our seats in the dining room. Radimir was with Bronwyn at the head of the table, the king and queen.
Gennadiy and I were at the far end, Mikhail on one side with his dogs, and Valentin on the other.
I felt a big, warm swell of emotion. After years of searching, I’d finally found the family I’d always wanted.
Then, as one, they all turned and looked at me. Wait, what? What’s going on?
Radimir leaned forward. “We called this meeting to discuss something with you.”
I gaped, utterly thrown. I’d thought it was just a standard family meeting. I glanced at Gennadiy, and he gave me a reassuring nod. “O…kay,” I managed.
Radimir took a deep breath. “When we first met, I didn’t hide what I thought about an FBI agent so close to our family. But I have come to trust you. Without you, I doubt we’d all be sitting here today.”
I nodded hesitantly. I had no idea where this was going.
Radimir put his elbows on the table and clasped his fist in his other hand. “Grushin was operating right under our noses. He was blackmailing Yakov; he had control of the head of the gaming board, the DA, senior people at the banks…and we had no idea. It took you to uncover all that.”
“What we’re saying,” said Gennadiy, “is that maybe…” he looked around at his family, “maybe the bad guys need cops too.”
“There are always people, within our organization and outside it, trying to steal from us,” said Mikhail. “Or run their own schemes without our knowledge. Or even plan a coup. We would like you…to stop them.”
I looked around at them, dumbfounded.
“You are already part of our family,” said Radimir. “This is different. We are offering you a job.”
“I’ve needed someone to share the load with for years,” said Gennadiy. “I’ve never found anyone I can fully trust…until now.”