Chapter 4
Leaving the group home with Sakani was already surreal, but pulling up at the crib with him riding shotgun was something else.
This morning, I left home as a single man with no kids, and this afternoon, I returned a whole single dad.
So many thoughts were running through my mind, but the main one was not failing this kid.
Sakani had seen enough in his short life. When I was looking over his file, I read that he’d witnessed his mother’s boyfriend rape and kill her when he was just four years old. I couldn’t imagine that type of pain.
I was a grown man when my mother left this Earth, and I still had a tough time navigating life after that loss.
A quick look at his file told me no one took the time to help him try to figure life out after losing the most important person in it.
Sakani had been with five families and in two group homes since that day, and none of them seemed to stick.
Each house probably held its own trauma.
I didn’t want to be just another person he had to heal from.
I was nervous as hell giving him a tour around the house because I wasn’t fully unpacked yet.
Although I’d been medically retired from the army for over a year, I’d just bought a house in my hometown and was nowhere near done furnishing it.
I felt like it was still missing a few things to make it feel like a home.
“This is your room.”
I opened the door and let Sakani walk in first. He stood at the threshold for a second, like he didn’t know if he should walk in or not. I could tell he was just as nervous as I was, scared that we’d do something to fuck it all up.
“Go ahead, man. Set your stuff down.”
Sakani slowly walked in and put his bags on top of the dresser. He looked around the room but still said nothing. I was starting to think he didn’t like it. I should have decorated or bought more furniture.
“I know it’s kind of empty right now, but I wanted to leave space for you to make it your own.”
“Nah, it’s cool. I never really had my own room before.” He shrugged before picking up the shoebox off the bed and turning around to face me. “You bought me shoes?”
“Yeah, I wanted to get you some more stuff, but I didn’t know what all you needed. Do you need anything else?”
“Not really. You don’t have to buy me stuff.”
“I know. Anything I do for you, I want you to know it’s because I want to. We’re family now, and family is important to me.”
“I can’t remember the last time I had a family. I don’t even know what that feels like.”
Sakani was sitting on the bed now trying on his shoes. He half-smiled when he put them on, and they fit perfectly. He stood from the bed, walked to the other side of the room, and looked down to admire them.
“They fit?”
“Yeah, how’d you know my size?”
“It was in your file.”
His forehead creased at hearing I’d read a file on him, and I understood.
It was a feeling I was all too used to. Every soldier in the army was judged based off of a file before people got a chance to really know them.
I never liked the feeling of meeting a new commander who assumed he already knew me.
“You can’t believe everything they put in them files.”
“I didn’t plan to. I like to meet people and form my own opinion. That’s what it means to be a man.”
“Yeah, me too.”
Sakani stuck his chest out a little to let me know he caught that ‘man’ comment. The gesture didn’t make me feel any type of way though. I was happy he already saw himself as a man. That told me it wouldn’t be hard to teach him the principles that men live by.
“You hungry? I don’t have nothing to cook, but I do know somewhere we can get some good food. Plus, I have someone I want you to meet when you’re feeling up to it.”
Sakani didn’t respond right away. He just looked around the room again, like he was trying to think of what to say. I understood hitting the max number of people you wanted to meet in one day.
“We can just order pizza if you want to chill out in here. You can unpack and make yourself at home.”
“Yeah, pizza is good. I’m kind of tired.”
“Pizza it is.”
Sakani gave me another half-smile before walking back over to his bag. He pulled one thing out after another, but there wasn’t much. Still, he took his time refolding everything as he took it out.
“Hey, you know how you said you never really had a family before?”
“Yeah.”
“Well, I never had a kid before. You think we can figure this thing out together?”
“That’s cool.”
“Cool. So, if you don’t want to do something, just tell me. Unless it’s for your own good, I won’t force it. And if you need something, tell me. What’s mine is yours.”
“I got you.”
I nodded before leaving Sakani’s room and closing the door behind me.
Talking to him felt like pulling a conversation out of somebody who didn’t want to talk, but it was cool.
We had all the time in the world. My main objective was making sure he felt safe in the house he would be calling his home.
Once we reached that point, everything else would be easy.
“Yo, Stone?” Sakani opened the door before I could get too far away. “I think I do need some new clothes.”
“Say less. I already got you something for your first day of school, but we can go to the mall after I pick you up.”
“Cool.”