10. Cutter
CUTTER
I turn the heater up and ease my truck back through town, then up toward my cabin. I can’t calm down, even with Sadie by my side. I need to warm her up and then convince her to stay with me for good. Yes, I deserve some answers, but I should have given her a chance to explain herself.
When Sadie admitted to working for Top Spot Realty, I couldn’t think straight. I had just told her about my father’s tragic death, and then I got completely blindsided by her deception. All the feelings of inadequacy and abandonment from childhood rose to the surface, clouding my judgment.
I spent a good hour and a half working on projects around my property before realizing what an idiot I had been.
Sadie couldn’t fake her love of Kung-fu movies or the story behind them.
I held her, just hours ago, while she told me about her abusive foster father.
I wasn’t the only one who shared part of their soul this morning, and I hate myself for not seeing it sooner.
The longer I mulled over our last conversation, the more obvious it became that I needed to go after her. The urgency to get to Sadie increased exponentially when the light rain turned into a dangerously heavy downpour.
Sullivan saw me tearing through town in my truck and flagged me down.
I explained the situation, and he let me know a car similar to the one I described drove by not more than fifteen minutes ago.
He must have seen the fear in my eyes, because he got in his truck and followed me onto a flooded road, no questions asked.
My cabin has never looked more inviting as it comes into view. I pull into the detached garage and hurry out of the truck to get to Sadie. She’s trembling as she holds herself together, her arms wrapped around her torso and her head tipped down so I can’t see her face.
“I’ve got you,” I say before gathering my woman in my arms. I’m reminded of the first time I carried her into my home. I’m hoping I won’t fuck it up this time.
Sadie curls up against me, tucking her head between my neck and shoulder. I practically kick the door down in my rush to get her to safety. We head straight to the bathroom, where I set her down on the counter. Sadie hasn’t spoken or even looked at me since I got her into my truck.
“Are you sure you’re not hurt?” I ask, hovering my hands above her shoulders.
She nods. I notice for the first time she’s wearing one of my old flannels.
“Is that my shirt?” I ask, hoping for any response from her. Sadie’s shoulders drop, and I realize she thinks I’m upset. “It looks better on you than it ever did on me.” I was hoping for a smile or even just eye contact, but Sadie doesn’t do either.
Oh, how our roles have reversed. It wasn’t more than a few days ago that she was chattering away while I grunted at her. Now I’m desperate for her words, even if they are angry and directed at me.
As much as I want to resolve everything right now, Sadie needs to get in a hot shower and change into dry clothes. I take a step back from my woman and help her off the sink counter, though it pains me to do so. Leaning over, I turn on the hot water, letting the steam fill the small bathroom.
“Warm up in the shower, and I’ll have clean clothes for you to put on. Then we’ll talk.” I meant for my words to comfort her, but she deflates even more. I don’t want to leave her here like this, but what choice do I have?
“I’m sorry,” Sadie whispers, her eyes turned down in shame.
“Sweetheart, no, I’m sorry. I don’t even know how to start to explain…
I lost my mind, but that’s no excuse. I…
fuck,” I ramble. I turn my back to Sadie as the familiar feeling of guilt winds its way around my heart.
“I never thought I’d meet someone like you,” I tell her, trying to wrangle my thoughts.
“You’re witty and beautiful and braver than you know.
You’re strong as hell and yet sweet and soft.
I don’t know how to handle someone so precious.
You’re perfect for me. I think that’s what made me so quick to lash out when Gabby showed up. ”
“I’m so sorry,” Sadie says again.
I shake my head no and begin pacing, trying to get out some of this anxious energy.
“I’m saying this all wrong,” I mutter. “What I mean is that I thought you were too perfect. There’s no way you would really choose me, so when I heard you might have had an ulterior motive, everything in me shut down.
It made more sense that you wanted to use me than simply wanting me for me.
” I run a hand through my wet hair as my disjointed apology is drawing to an end.
“I fucked up. I doubted you and let you leave. Hell, I kicked you out. I sent you straight into a storm, and I could have lost you…”
“Cutter,” Sadie finally says, her voice surprisingly gentle. I focus on her for the first time since turning on the shower. I’m stunned to see her naked body on display and her hand outstretched. I wrap her hand in mine, unable to believe what’s happening. “Join me?”
I nod and rip at my clothes before following her into the shower.
I position her directly under the stream and rub my hands up and down her arms to warm her up faster.
Those green eyes latch onto mine with an intensity I’m not prepared for.
She didn’t look at me the entire drive up here or when I brought her into the bathroom, but now… it’s like she can’t look away.
“I don’t deserve your forgiveness, but I’d like to start making it up to you,” I tell her. “I don’t know how, but–”
Sadie silences my nervous rambling by placing a hand over my heart. I cover it with mine, that small action speaking louder than anything I’ve said so far. She’s still here with me, listening and letting me get everything off my chest.
“I owe you an explanation, too.” I can tell she wants to look away from me, but she doesn’t. My brave goddess holds eye contact, letting me see her regret and sorrow. “I graduated from college early and needed to get out of Las Vegas, where I grew up. Remember Mr. Craig?”
I nod, barely suppressing the snarl trapped in my throat.
“He was the first of several abusive foster parents. The last couple I was with treated me like shit. On my eighteenth birthday, I woke up to my clothes and the few things I owned all packed up and sitting by the front door. I was able to make it through college thanks to government funds for foster kids, but I had to get out, you know? I had to leave. I was surrounded by so many bad memories that it was suffocating.”
“I understand that more than most,” I reassure her.
“Top Spot Realty was in a different state, and they offered to pay for me to get my real estate license in Colorado. I also had moving expenses paid for. It felt like a sign from the universe, but I should have done more research. You were right, Cindy and the other partners at the firm want to strip everything unique and special about this place. They’re only interested in making more money.
I didn’t mean to lie to you, Cutter. I was going to tell you about my job, but I hadn’t figured out the right moment.
What we shared was the realest thing I’ve ever experienced, and I hope we can get back to that place. ”
“Me, too, Sadie. I trust you. I forgive you for keeping your job a secret, and I understand why you didn’t say something sooner. I fucking love you and I want you here with me.”
“Really?” Sadie gasps.
I nod. “Can you forgive me?”
Instead of answering, Sadie trails the hand she has on my chest up until it cups the back of my neck, pulling me down for a kiss.
God, I never thought I’d have this again.
I savor every single thing about this kiss; tasting her sweetness, breathing in her scent, and swallowing down her soft whimpers.
I grab ahold of her perky ass and pull her closer.
She lifts one leg over my hip, and I hold it firmly in my grip, loving the way she's opening herself up to me.
“Sadie…” I groan into the side of her neck as I kiss my way down the slender column.
She thrusts her hips and rubs her hot pussy against my rock fucking hard cock. “Please?” she whimpers. “I need to feel you. I need…”
I pull back slightly so I can rest my forehead on hers. “What do you need, baby? I’ll give you anything. Everything.”
“I need to feel that connection again. Need to feel closer, as close as two people can be.”
“Me, too,” I tell her before kissing away all of her doubts and insecurities. My hands roam over her body, stroking, squeezing, savoring every inch.
Finally, I break our kiss and spin her around so she’s facing the back wall of the shower. Sadie takes the hint and braces herself on the wall, sticking her ass out, presenting herself to me in an act of complete trust.
“God, I’ll never get used to how gorgeous you are,” I murmur before pressing a kiss between her shoulder blades and ghosting my lips and nose down her spine.
Reaching between her legs, I dip two fingers inside her wet slit to check her readiness. Goddamn, my woman wasn’t kidding; she needs this.
“Ready for me to fill you up again, Sadie?” I ask while lazily pumping my fingers in and out of her soaking wet hole.
“God, yes, please, please…” she moans.
I stand up behind her and grip her ass, massaging her perfect cheeks and pulling them apart, exposing all of her to my hungry eyes.
I lean over and cover her, pressing my chest into her back as I reach around her with one hand.
She shivers beneath me. I bite her shoulder, cup her breast, and drive my cock into her mercilessly, letting out a feral growl as I bottom out.
She whimpers with each thrust and pushes back into me, letting me know she’s right here with me.
I skim my fingers down her torso, all the way to her pussy. Her clit is a fat little pearl, swollen and throbbing for me. She bucks against my hand as I play with it, rubbing and pinching and not letting her take a breath as I give her more, more, all of me. Everything. It’s all hers.
She twists and cries in agony, but I don’t stop. She’s mine now. Mine to please. Mine to torture. She arches in my arms as I take her apart piece by piece, letting out a desperate plea right before she breaks.
“That’s it, fucking come for me, Sadie,” I grunt, still pumping into her and teasing her nipples with one hand while rubbing her hard little clit.
“Cutter! Fuck!” Sadie gushes for me, her tight pussy spasming around my cock again and again.
I don’t let her come back down, I keep drilling her harder and faster, gripping her ass and pulling her cheeks apart.
“Fucking love watching your pussy swallow my big dick,” I grunt.
“I… c-can’t stop…c-coming…” she gasps in between each word like it’s taking up all of her concentration just to breathe.
I wrap one arm around her hips and one across her perfect breasts, holding her up as her knees give out. Sadie screams my name and pounds her fist on the wall of the shower as another orgasm is torn from her very depths. Fucking beautiful.
I’m so lost watching her get obliterated by pleasure that my climax slams into me unexpectedly. I roar as I thrust into her one last time, pressing her trembling body flush against the shower wall. I come violently, jet after jet shooting out of my dick as it swells and spasms inside her.
Stumbling back a bit, I gather Sadie up in my arms and slowly slide down to the floor of the shower, not trusting my legs at the moment. She curls up into me, still shaking and breathing heavily.
“You okay, baby?” I ask, still out of breath myself. Goddamn, that was the most intense orgasm of my entire life.
“So good,” she sighs.
I grin and nuzzle into the top of her head, letting the hot water pour over our bodies and relax our sore muscles.
“Let’s get cleaned up again, and I’ll feed you while we watch a movie.”
“Did I mention that I love you?” she asks with a giant smile on her lovely face.
“You didn’t, actually, but I was hoping you’d get there eventually.”
“I love you, Cutter,” she repeats, her tone more serious, almost reverent. “We’ve both been hurt, and we don’t trust easily. But this, right here,” she pauses to place her hand on my heart once more, “this is solid. We’re good for each other. I trust you with all of me.”
“I trust you, too, Sadie. God, I love you so fucking much.” We share a kiss that seals all of our promises and takes the air from my lungs. I’ll make sure she never regrets choosing me.