14 | Living in a dream
14 | living in a dream
CARA
The scent of buttery scrambled eggs wafted toward me as I sauntered into the kitchen, my stomach rumbling in response. Standing by the hob, William was a sight to behold in just his white boxers. The play of light and shadow on his toned back, the muscles flexing ever so slightly as he stirred the pan, was even more enticing than the dish he was preparing.
Approaching quietly, I noticed the golden-brown crust of two croissants warming in the oven and the clock overhead reading just past eight. Gently, I wrapped my arms around William’s waist, pressing my face against the warmth of his back. I sensed a momentary stillness, the briefest pause of surprise, before he looked over his shoulder, his eyes crinkling with affection.
‘Good morning,’ he said, bending to kiss my forehead.
‘Mmm, morning,’ I murmured into his skin, inhaling the heady scent of his natural odour. ‘It smells amazing.’
‘It’ll be ready in about five,’ he said, gracefully extricating himself from my embrace. As he reached for two small, crystal-clear cups, he shot me a glance, pointing to the capsule dispenser next to the Nespresso machine. ‘What colour would you like?’
‘Purple.’
The corner of his mouth curled up in an amused smile. ‘Should’ve known. That’s my go-to as well.’ He shook his head, his smile widening. It seemed our similar tastes didn’t surprise him one bit.
‘Is it?’
He chuckled. ‘At this rate, I might as well just trust my gut rather than ask.’
‘Well, from what I’ve seen, your instincts are usually spot on,’ I replied, grinning.
As he initiated the coffee machine, I asked, ‘Need a hand with anything?’
He shrugged. ‘If you’d like, you could set the table.’
Nodding, I moved toward the island and lightly tapped my knee against the middle drawer, which was fitted with a touch-sensitive mechanism. It glided open, revealing the plates. Taking out a pair, I proceeded to the drawer just above for cutlery. As I set the table, I occasionally stole affectionate glances at William, my contented smile unwavering.
The memory of last night swirled in my mind. It had been… transcendent, elevating intimacy to an uncharted level. Until last night, the subtle nuance between having sex and making love had eluded me. But William, with each tender touch and adoring gaze, had delicately unveiled the depth and beauty of this distinction. All my thoughts just vanished; I was totally immersed in the feeling, in the connection I felt with him, and in the ecstasy that washed over me – a kind of exhilarating joy that eclipsed everything else.
As I finished setting the table, I hopped onto a stool, propped my head in my palms, and just stared at him. Flashing images of last night flooded my mind – his naked body, a faint layer of sweat glistening on his powerful chest as he made sweet, exquisite love to me. My chest tingled at the thought of it – he had made love to me. He had even said it himself: ‘I feel that way every time I get to make love to you, Cara.’
Maybe I was reading too much into it – maybe he had only phrased it that way to avoid sounding crude. But the words had struck a chord with me, resonating in my heart. They had felt so sincere, and so much like an echo of my own experience.
Yet, despite how heartfelt his words had seemed, I couldn’t shake the doubt that had begun to creep into my mind. His behaviour had been so unpredictable lately, swinging between affectionate and distant. It was as if he was a different person at times, making it hard to know where I truly stood. Sometimes, I couldn’t help but worry that his feelings for me might be fading, leaving me more vulnerable than ever, because mine were only growing stronger with each passing day.
But last night felt different. I felt we had truly connected, not just physically. His touch had been tender, his words adoring and reassuring. I wanted to believe that the man who held me so lovingly last night was the real him, not the aloof stranger he occasionally turned into.
The timer on the oven jolted me from my thoughts. William turned from the hob and walked over to take out the croissants. My eyes followed his every move, noting the care he put into preparing breakfast, as if I were a guest of great importance. Surely he wouldn’t go to such lengths if he was losing interest in me, would he?
He placed the croissants on the island table, their golden crusts steaming.
‘These look amazing,’ I said, leaning closer.
William glanced at me, his expression soft. ‘Wait till you try them,’ he replied with a wink. Next, he brought over my favourite: his delicious scrambled eggs, the familiar scent mingling with the aroma of the fresh pastries.
‘Oh my God,’ I groaned, my mouth watering.
‘Just the way you like them,’ he said, chuckling. Then, with a warm smile, he handed me the cup of coffee he had just brewed. Our hands brushed momentarily, sending a small thrill through me.
‘Thank you,’ I murmured, my voice filled with gratitude.
‘No thanks needed,’ he replied with a grin. ‘Your joy is my reward.’
I smiled back, raising the coffee to my lips. His efforts this morning were heartwarming, but the disparity between his current attentiveness and his recent distant behaviour still gnawed at me, making it difficult to fully appreciate it.
He took a seat beside me, gesturing to the breakfast spread. ‘Dig in.’
I helped myself to some scrambled eggs and a croissant. William followed suit, loading his plate before taking a bite of his croissant. He chewed thoughtfully for a moment, then groaned with pleasure.
‘I think I’ve outdone myself this time,’ he joked.
I managed a weak smile and nodded, but my thoughts were elsewhere, replaying the inconsistencies in his recent behaviour. The heaviness in my chest must have shown on my face, as his playful expression suddenly faded. He looked at me more intently, his eyes narrowing with concern.
‘Is something the matter?’ he asked gently.
I swallowed a lump in my throat, my heart racing at the question. For a second, I considered brushing it off, but the worry in his eyes urged me to open up, and, frankly, I was eager to get some clarity. Better to face the truth now than to endure the greater pain later if his feelings didn’t match mine.
‘There’s something I’ve been meaning to talk to you about,’ I said, keeping my voice soft so as not to alarm him more than necessary.
He quickly took my hand, his grip firm as he stared at me with palpable apprehension in his eyes. ‘What’s been on your mind?’ he asked, and I could tell he was struggling to sound composed.
I hesitated, searching for the right words. ‘It’s just… you’ve been so attentive both last night and this morning, and it’s wonderful. But lately, you’ve been so distant, and I don’t know what to make of it.’
He squeezed my hand, his face twisting with guilt. ‘Cara, I am so sorry. I’ve just had a lot on my mind.’
‘Are you sure that’s why?’ I asked, forcing my voice to remain steady. What I was about to say next made my heart contract. I was so scared of what he might answer, but I needed to know. ‘Because if you’re losing interest in me, you can just tell me. I’d rather face the truth now so I can cut my losses.’
His eyes widened, his lips parting slightly. He looked horrified. ‘Is that the impression I’ve given you? That I’m losing interest?’ he asked, sounding appalled. ‘Cara, I can’t tell you how sorry I am for making you feel that way. It’s so far from the truth. I adore everything about you. Being with you is like living in a dream I never want to wake up from.’
‘Really?’ I asked, my voice high-pitched with emotion. A small, hopeful smile flickered across my lips, my eyebrows curving as I held his gaze.
‘Yes,’ he said ardently and raised my hand to kiss it repeatedly. ‘Please, forgive me. I swear I’ll do better from now on – I’ll show you exactly how much you mean to me.’
His seemed so sincere. I badly wanted to believe him.
‘Let me make it up to you,’ he said, his eyes shining with fervour. ‘Tonight. I’ll cook something delicious for us, and we’ll spend the evening together. No work, no distractions – just us.’
My heart throbbed at how beautifully he was handling this.
‘That sounds lovely,’ I said, a genuine smile spreading across my face. ‘What will you cook?’
He grinned, his thumb brushing my cheek. ‘It’ll be a surprise.’
‘Well, I’m looking forward to it.’
‘Me too.’ He leaned in and kissed my forehead. ‘Thank you for telling me about this. I’m sorry I made it necessary in the first place.’
‘It’s okay. Thank you for handling it so well,’ I replied, finally feeling reassured.
William smiled, the tension between us easing as we turned our attention back to the breakfast spread. I picked up my fork, shoving it into the scrambled eggs and taking a bite. The familiar flavour seemed even better now, as if he had truly made it with love.
A comfortable silence settled between us as we ate, the earlier worries now replaced by a sense of peace.
‘So,’ he said after a while, ‘any plans for today? Apart from this evening, of course.’
I shrugged, sipping my coffee. ‘Not really. Thought I might hit the gym later. You?’
He nodded, looking thoughtful. ‘Fancy going to the gym together?’
‘Sure. Yours or mine?’
‘Mine, if that’s all right with you.’
I nodded. ‘Sounds good. Shall I meet you there, then? I’ll have to nip home first.’
He shook his head. ‘I’ll drive you to yours, and then we can head there together.’
‘All right.’
As we finished our breakfast and cleared the table, William looked at me, his expression shifting slightly. ‘By the way, there’s something I’ve been meaning to ask you.’
‘Oh?’ I said, curious.
‘Yeah. Remember that charity gala which I’ve got to attend?’
I closed the dishwasher. ‘Er, yes?’
‘Well, Alex is going, and so are Andy and Chloe. I’d really like it if you came as my plus one.’
I blinked, a tad surprised by the invitation. For some reason, I hadn’t expected this, and I wasn’t sure how I felt about it. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to be his plus one – far from it. But the idea of attending an event with so many influential and important people was daunting. I worried I wouldn’t fit in, that I’d feel out of place amidst the glamour and sophistication.
I swallowed, trying to find the right words. ‘I appreciate it, but to be honest, I’ve never really fancied the idea of prestigious balls. I don’t belong there.’
William frowned, revealing his disappointment. ‘Cara, please. I’d really appreciate your company. I’ll be suffering enough already, and your presence would make it tolerable.’
I remembered something important then. ‘But going to an event like that could draw attention to what’s going on between us, Will. People from our social circle will be there – word could spread to the office. Is it really worth that risk?’
He snorted. ‘We’ll just introduce you as my mentee. Besides, it will be an excellent chance for you to network.’
I studied him for a beat, still hesitant. It was true that attending could open some important doors for me, but would the benefits outweigh the potential gossip? Maybe they would. And if we were careful, we could avoid drawing too much attention.
I sighed, feeling a mix of anxiety and resolve. ‘If I agree to this, you’ve got to promise you won’t touch me intimately where others might see us. These people are part of John and Daphné’s circle, and I’m really worried that word could get back to them, or the office.’
He wrapped his hand around the nape of my neck, pulling me close. ‘It’s a deal,’ he said, planting a hard kiss on my lips. ‘Thank you.’
§ § §
William parked the car outside my flat. I glanced out the window, my gaze drawn to the beautiful London plane trees next to the building. Their branches, adorned with vivid green leaves, formed a canopy that glistened faintly under the overcast sky. As my eyes drifted toward my flat, I couldn’t help but wonder what state I would find it in. Hopefully, Jason had tidied up some of the mess after the bash he had held there last night.
‘I’ll just wait here,’ William said.
I nodded. ‘I won’t be long.’ Stepping out, I hurried into the building. As I reached the front door to my flat, I was careful to open it as quietly as I could. Jason was likely still asleep, and I didn’t want to wake him.
Once inside, I immediately noticed a pair shoes in the hall – Olivia’s white trainers. Had she crashed here? If she had, I was bound to find her in my bed in about a minute. I tiptoed toward my room, determined to move as stealthily as possible to avoid waking her. But when I opened the door, I found it empty.
Puzzled, I glanced back at the hall. Could Olivia have been so drunk that she had forgotten her shoes? Perhaps she had brought a pair of heels for the party and therefore left these behind.
Shrugging off the mystery for now, I turned my attention to getting ready for the gym. I quickly changed my clothes, then packed my bag. As I walked into the kitchen to fetch my water bottle, a subtle noise caught my attention. I paused, straining to hear. Faint moans – sexual moans – were coming from Jason’s room.
I froze in disbelief. My thoughts swirled, trying to process what I was hearing. The moans grew a little louder, confirming that I wasn’t imagining things. Jason definitely had a woman in his room.
But who? He hadn’t mentioned being interested in anyone to me. Was it a one-night stand? That was so unlike him. We’d lived together for months now, and as far as I was aware, he hadn’t slept with anyone during that time.
I stood there for a moment, battling the urge to sneak up to his bedroom door to hear better, maybe even recognise the voice behind the moans. Curiosity gnawed at me, but I hesitated, knowing it was none of my business. I racked my brain, trying to piece together any clues I might have missed.
Then, like a penny dropping, I remembered Olivia’s trainers in the hall.
Could it be her?
The idea seemed absurd. Olivia and Jason?
My eyes widened as I considered how much time they had spent together lately – Jason helping her out with job applications, Olivia lingering to hang out with him after I had gone to bed, the stories they had shared of each other on social media. More moments flashed through my mind: their late-night laughter as they watched films together, their whispered conversations, the way they seemed so comfortable around each other.
I blinked, staring blankly in the direction of Jason’s bedroom door. The idea was almost too surreal to accept, yet the pieces seemed to fit. But wouldn’t they have been more careful if it was truly Olivia in there? Or had they simply not expected me back so early? Maybe they just didn’t care whether I found out.
The moans from Jason’s room grew louder then, more intense. My heart pounded in my chest, intrigue rooting me in place even though I knew I should respect their privacy and leave.
Then, clear as day, I heard Olivia’s voice cry out in ecstasy, unmistakable and irrefutable.
Shock washed over me, a crimson heat flooding my cheeks. There was no denying it now. My two best friends were sleeping together, and I hadn’t had the faintest idea.
What was I supposed to do now? Confront them? Wait for them to come clean on their own?
As I struggled to comprehend the situation, another thought popped into my mind: did William know about this? Or was he just as clueless as I had been?
So many questions, so few answers. But I reminded myself that this wasn’t the time to probe into it. In fact, I wasn’t sure there was a right time at all. After all, this wasn’t about me. They were my best friends, yes, but that didn’t mean they owed me any transparency on this matter. No, I would let them tell me in their own time – if they ever wanted to. While I desperately wanted to know what was going on, I couldn’t be so selfish as to put my own curiosity above their right to privacy. With that in mind, I resolved to leave unnoticed.
As I headed to the hall and quietly put on my shoes, everything felt bizarre, as if I were trapped in a strange dream. My thoughts were a whirlwind of confusion – I couldn’t focus on a single one. It was as though I were moving in a trance. But just as I was about to walk out, the door to Jason’s room opened. My head snapped around at once, my hand lingering on the doorknob.
Olivia stepped out, completely naked, her blonde hair tousled. I immediately shut my eyes, embarrassment prickling my cheeks. While I had occasionally seen her naked before, the current circumstances made me feel like a voyeur.
Suddenly, she yelped, and I surmised from the sound that she had spotted me.
‘Sorry!’ I called out, still keeping my eyes tightly shut.
‘Cara!’ she exclaimed, mortified.
‘Cara?’ Jason echoed, his tone loaded with confusion.
‘I’m so sorry!’ I shouted again, wincing.
‘Wait, Cara ? How – why are you here?’ Jason asked, his question laced with shock and panic, clearly struggling to process my unexpected presence.
‘She lives here, Jason,’ Olivia barked back, sounding further away now. Perhaps she had returned to Jason’s bedroom to find something to cover up with, but since I couldn’t be sure, I kept my eyes closed.
‘I…’ I swallowed hard, trying to gather my thoughts. ‘I didn’t mean to intrude. I was just leaving. Will and I are going to the gym.’
‘Cara, wait,’ Olivia urged, sounding closer again. ‘You can open your eyes. I’m sorry you had to see that.’
I slowly opened one eye and saw Olivia standing in the corridor, now wearing one of Jason’s red T-shirts. On her short, voluptuous figure, it looked more like a dress, the fabric draping loosely around her curves.
‘Did you…’ Her eyebrows twitched. ‘Did you hear…?’
‘I did.’
She flushed a deep shade of pink, her arms crossing over her ample chest. ‘Sorry about that. We didn’t expect you’d be home so soon.’
Behind her, I could hear Jason moving around in his room, the rustling of clothes and muffled footsteps adding to the tension. A moment later, he appeared in the doorway, dressed in grey joggers. His hair was dishevelled, eyes wide with surprise.
‘Cat’s out of the bag, then,’ he said, his voice carrying a mix of amusement and acceptance.
I pressed my lips together, my mouth forming a strange smile.
Olivia stared at me, her brown eyes filled with guilt and concern. ‘Cara, I was going to tell you – I swear,’ she said, her tone pleading for understanding. ‘But I didn’t even get the chance because last night was the first time anything happened.’
My brows shot upward. ‘Oh.’
I looked between them, searching for clues about what this might mean. Was it just a one-night stand, or was this the beginning of something more serious?
‘I hadn’t even realised you liked each other that way,’ I said after a beat, but it wasn’t completely true. I had always known that Olivia found Jason attractive. I just never imagined it ran this deep.
As I thought back, it suddenly hit me – maybe that was why she had been drawn to William when we first met him at Disrepute. He resembled Jason.
‘To be fair,’ Jason laughed, ‘we only just realised it ourselves, so it’s not like you’re behind on the news.’
‘Apparently,’ Olivia grinned proudly, ‘Jason’s fancied me for ages, but since I was with Colin, he didn’t want to make a move.’
I looked at Jason, gaping. ‘Is that true?’
His features crinkled with obvious contrition. ‘Yes.’
It felt like someone had pulled the rug from under my feet. I hadn’t suspected this at all. ‘How come you never told me?’
He ran a hand through his hair, the other gesturing toward me. ‘Honestly, it just didn’t feel right. She’s your best friend, and I was worried it would make you uncomfortable. I didn’t want you to feel awkward or think about it every time you were around the two of us.’
I could understand that. ‘Right,’ I said, nodding faintly. ‘That makes sense.’
‘Are you cross with me?’ he asked, his tone tinged with worry.
‘No, of course not,’ I said firmly. ‘Given everything that’s happened with William, I’m hardly in a position to judge.’
There was a brief pause as they absorbed my words, then they burst into laughter, and the sound was infectious. Soon enough, I was laughing with them.
Catching my breath, I remembered William was waiting for me. ‘Okay, listen,’ I said, still smiling. ‘Will’s downstairs, so we can talk more about this later.’
‘Yeah.’ Jason smiled and wrapped his arm around Olivia’s shoulders. My heart throbbed at the sight. No matter how strange this was, there was no denying they looked adorable together.
‘I’ll be here when you get back,’ Olivia said.
‘Good.’ I adjusted the strap of my bag on my shoulder. ‘See you then.’
‘Tell Will I said hi,’ Jason added.
I paused, looking between them. ‘Can I tell him about this?’
‘I expect you to,’ Jason replied, smirking. ‘But let me know how he reacts.’
I nodded. ‘Of course. He’s probably going to choke.’
Their chuckles echoed behind me as I walked out and shut the door, descending the stairs in a daze. When I reached the car, William looked up from his phone, his brows knitting together as he saw my face.
‘Everything all right?’ he asked.
I slid into the passenger seat and closed the door. ‘You won’t believe what just happened,’ I said, my voice filled with disbelief.
His frown deepened. ‘Tell me.’
‘I just walked in on Jason and Olivia having sex.’
William’s jaw dropped. ‘What?’
‘Yeah.’ I shook my head in incredulity.
William looked blankly out the windscreen. ‘Wow. So he actually managed it.’
‘Managed it?’ I echoed, bewildered.
His gaze turned to me, a faint apology swimming within the light-blue hue. I gaped, realisation dawning.
‘You knew that he fancied her?’
His face contorted briefly. ‘He told me a couple of months ago.’
I stared at him, a little surprised. He was clearly good at keeping secrets. I hadn’t sensed a thing.
‘I would have told you,’ he murmured, ‘but he’s my brother, Cara.’
‘Yeah, don’t worry. I get it.’ I nodded. ‘I’m just surprised – at all of it.’
He chuckled. ‘I can imagine.’ He put his hand on my thigh, squeezing it. ‘Did they seem happy?’
‘Very.’ I grinned. ‘Apparently, Jason’s fancied her for ages?’
‘Yeah. But he wanted to wait with making a move until he felt sure she was over her ex. He’s not interested in being a rebound.’
‘Wise.’
‘Yeah.’ William started the engine, backing out of the parking space. ‘Ready for the gym, then?’
‘Yes, but let’s avoid any gymnastics like theirs.’
A low, sexy laugh drifted out of his mouth. ‘No promises. ’