23 | You deserve to shine
23 | you deserve to shine
CARA
The lift hummed quietly as it ascended, the office feeling more daunting than usual on this Monday morning. Sleep had been a restless torment, plagued by bizarre nightmares of William with a procession of women, each carrying his child, while his chicken biryani was supposed to sustain us all. In the waking world, the dream’s absurdity drew a faint, humoured smile, but in the murky realm of sleep, it had been deeply unsettling. I blamed the biryani he sent with Jason. The gesture, though touching, had reinforced my sense of guilt and inner conflict, feelings that had manifested in my dreams like spectres.
As the lift doors slid open with a soft chime, I inhaled deeply, trying to shake off the lingering dread from the nightmares, and made my way to my desk. Ellie was already there, her fingers flying over the keyboard of her laptop. She glanced up as I set my bag on the floor beside my chair.
‘Morning, Cara,’ she greeted with a smile.
‘Morning.’
‘Everything all right?’ she asked, her usually bright voice softened with concern. ‘You look a bit tired.’
I sank into my chair with a sigh. ‘I am. Still working on those compliance frameworks for the merger between Elixerion Pharmaceuticals and Porter BioScience.’
She nodded sympathetically. ‘Anything I can do to help?’
I shook my head, grateful for her offer. ‘Thanks, but I think I’ve got it. Besides, you’ve definitely got enough on your plate already.’
‘Morning, ladies,’ William’s voice suddenly called from behind us. I stiffened at the sound, my stomach churning with a blend of warmth and unease. Turning my head, I saw him striding toward us, a cup of coffee in each hand. His eyes met mine, a shadow of wariness flickering within the light-blue hue.
My throat tightened as I watched him approach, each step amplifying the magnetic pull he had over me. In his impeccably tailored beige suit, he looked like a vision of perfection, and it made my heart ache. It felt as if the universe had bestowed upon me this incredible gift – this extraordinary man – only to test my worthiness with the trial of Francesca and her baby.
‘Morning, Will,’ Ellie replied, giving him a bright grin.
He stopped by my desk, setting down one of the coffees on it. ‘This is for you,’ he murmured, his eyes darting around, avoiding mine.
I tried to catch his gaze, my heart twisting. I hated seeing him behave like this – hated how anxious I made him.
‘Thanks.’
He shrugged, a faint smile touching his lips.
‘For the biryani as well,’ I added.
He froze momentarily, his eyes finally meeting mine. ‘Have you tasted it?’ he asked, a hopeful note in his voice that tore at my chest.
I shook my head. ‘No, but I’ll be having it for dinner later.’
He nodded, tucking his free hand in his pocket. ‘Well, I hope you’ll like it.’
‘I’m sure I will.’
His gaze lingered on me for a moment longer before he turned toward his office. ‘I’d better get to work,’ he said. ‘I’ll see you for lunch.’
I watched him walk away, feeling Ellie’s gaze on my profile. When I turned to look at her, she quickly averted her eyes, focusing on her laptop with feigned concentration. Her pursed lips suggested she wanted to pry, but thankfully, she held back.
With a sigh, I reached for the cup of coffee, noticing the words scribbled on the side.
The Godwin to your Wollstonecraft
My breath caught, an intense surge of tender affection threading through my veins, making my heart clench painfully. My thoughts drifted to William’s penthouse, to the moment he declared he would rise to my defence and champion my cause, even if it meant risking everything he had. It dawned on me then, with a clarity that stung, that if the roles were reversed – if I were the one potentially bringing another man’s child into our relationship – William would have stayed, just as Godwin stayed devoted to Wollstonecraft despite her child from another man.
Spontaneous tears pricked at my eyes, and my hand began to tremble. I set the cup back down, worried Ellie would notice, and leaned over to pull my laptop out of my bag. I powered it up with a shaky breath, trying to focus on the compliance frameworks. But I couldn’t. The depth of my inner conflict seemed to expand with each passing moment, the warmth of William’s message remaining at the forefront of my mind, accompanied by that never-ending sense of guilt over my hesitation.
I thought back to the countless conversations I’d had with Olivia last week, dissecting the situation with Francesca from every angle. Each discussion always led to the same conclusion: William was perfect for me, and I’d regret not giving things a chance. I’d met many men, but none ignited the passion and love William did. Giving up on him because he didn’t fit an ideal seemed absurd when our connection was this strong. I couldn’t imagine loving anyone more than him. So yes, he might become a father, but was it really a deal-breaker? There were plenty of single fathers out there. Didn’t they deserve an equal chance at love? Didn’t William?
I shook my head, reminding myself this wasn’t about that. It was about me – what I wanted for myself. And I wanted William. That I knew without a doubt. But the thought of Francesca always being part of our lives was daunting. And a newborn – even if primarily William’s responsibility – would affect me too. Not to mention that becoming a stepmother might interfere with my burgeoning career – my lifelong pursuit – and I wasn’t sure I was ready to compromise it. There were just so many things that could go wrong. Cutting my losses now, before I was more invested, seemed easier.
Yet, I couldn’t ignore how strong my feelings for William were. Every time I considered walking away, the mere thought of losing him left a gaping void in my chest. He had become such an integral part of my life, and the idea of a future without him felt not just painful but utterly desolate. Olivia and I had poured over this dilemma several times, and we both agreed there was more to be gained from trying than giving up; he was worth the effort, worth the fight.
But it felt too soon to tell William this. I wanted to wait until we had the result. Right now, the situation with Francesca didn’t feel entirely real. It felt distant, not fully comprehended. The moment William had the result, everything would crystallise for me, and I’d know for sure if I could take a leap of faith. But if I told him I was leaning toward staying before we had the result, I risked reinforcing his sense of hope, only to crush it if I changed my mind.
I exhaled sharply, running a hand through my hair as if I could untangle the thoughts knotted in my mind. With a groan, I leaned forward and stared stubbornly at the glowing screen before me, willing myself to concentrate on the task at hand. There was no use in agonising over my situation with William right now – it wasn’t contributing anything constructive.
The rest of the workday passed in a blur of meetings and document reviews. The office hummed with the usual buzz of activity, colleagues moving in and out, phones ringing, and the steady tap of keyboards. When lunchtime arrived, William appeared at my desk, a tentative smile on his lips. We headed to the canteen downstairs, our conversation light, both of us carefully sidestepping the elephant in the room, just as we had all of last week.
The afternoon unfolded much the same, work providing a temporary reprieve from the emotional weight that hung over us. By the time the workday drew to a close, I felt a bit more grounded, though the underlying tension remained. As I packed up my things, I glanced over at William, who was engaged in a discussion with Nadia from the tax law department. Our eyes met briefly, and he gave a subtle nod – a silent goodbye.
§ § §
Returning home, I was greeted by the familiar sound of laughter and the unmistakable music of Mario Kart drifting from the living room. Olivia and Jason were huddled on the sofa, their faces lit up with big grins as they raced through the colourful tracks on the TV screen.
‘Hey, Cara,’ Olivia called out, looking quickly in my direction. ‘How was work?’
‘It was productive. Who’s winning?’
‘Livy is,’ Jason said amusedly. ‘Care to join?’
‘Maybe later. I’ve still got some work to finish.’
I made my way to the kitchen, my stomach rumbling with a need for the chicken biryani waiting for me in the fridge. I spooned a generous portion into a bowl and set it in the microwave to warm up. Once it was ready, I went to my bedroom, wanting to give Jason and Olivia some privacy. Settling at my desk, I opened my laptop to the compliance frameworks and put on my headphones, letting music envelop me.
As I took a bite of the biryani, the explosion of flavours astonished me, my eyes widening with delight. The rich blend of spices and tender chicken was far better than I had anticipated. I paused, savouring the taste, and felt a sudden urge to tell William. Reaching for my phone, I quickly typed out a text: This biryani is incredible, Will! Best I’ve ever had. Thank you so much x
Moments later, my phone vibrated with a reply from him: Glad you liked it x
A smile tugged at my lips as I set the phone aside and turned my attention back to my work, the time slipping by unnoticed until the opening of my bedroom door broke my concentration. Jason poked his head in, an ornate, elegantly wrapped box in his hands. It was a deep, luxurious blue, tied with a silver ribbon that shimmered under the light. Olivia stood just behind Jason, peering past his shoulder with a blend of curiosity and excitement lighting up her features.
‘Sorry to interrupt,’ Jason said, ‘but this arrived for you just now.’ He carefully tilted the box, showing it off.
I frowned, puzzled. I wasn’t expecting any deliveries. ‘From who?’
‘From Will.’
‘From Will?’ I echoed, my frown deepening. What was he up to? He hadn’t mentioned anything about this.
Jason and Olivia exchanged a look before walking in and setting the box on my desk. My fingers brushed against the surface of it, the rich texture promising something special inside.
‘Go on,’ Olivia urged, her eyes twinkling with anticipation. ‘Open it!’
With a mix of intrigue and excitement, I untied the ribbon and lifted the lid. Inside, nestled atop red tissue paper, was a small bone-coloured card. I reached for it, my heart pounding with curiosity.
Dear Cara,
For the woman who brings colour to my world, a dress to match your vibrant spirit and smooth grace.
Wear it on Friday and dazzle us all.
You deserve to shine, always.
Yours,
William
Swallowing hard, I set the card aside, the words echoing in my mind as I carefully removed the tissue paper. My breath hitched as maroon satin came into view, gleaming softly under the light. I reached in and lifted the dress from the box, standing up to let it cascade toward the floor.
Olivia gasped, her eyes wide with admiration. ‘Cara, it’s gorgeous.’
It was. The design was elegant, the craftsmanship exquisite – it was clear that this dress had not come cheap. A pang of discomfort entered my chest at the thought of William spending so much on me. My first instinct was to reject it, to tell him it was too much, but I dismissed the thought almost as quickly as it came. William had gifted me this dress not to burden me but to show how much he cared, and I ought to appreciate that.
‘This is so romantic,’ Olivia said with a sigh, sounding smitten.
I met her eyes, a faint smile of amusement on my lips. ‘I guess we won’t have to go dress shopping on Thursday.’
‘Looks like it. You should try it on, though, just to be sure he got your size right.’
I nodded, the dress shimmering as I moved, its beauty undeniable. I couldn’t help but feel a jumble of emotions – gratitude, love, and that lingering sense of guilt.
‘I’ll do it now,’ I murmured, giving them a look that told them to wait outside. They left the room, allowing me some privacy.
Feeling a flutter of nerves, I slipped out of my work clothes and into the dress, the satin cool against my skin. I caught my reflection in the mirror and froze.
I’d never felt more beautiful.
The maroon fabric hugged my curves perfectly, the cut and fit impeccable. I turned slightly, watching the dress move with me, the satin flowing like water. My cheeks flushed at the thought of William correctly guessing my size; he’d clearly studied my body as though it were a treasure map.
‘Okay, I’m dressed,’ I called out, smoothing my hands down my hips.
The door opened, the sound of gasps reaching my ears. Olivia’s face lit up with awe, while Jason’s jaw dropped.
‘Cara, oh my God!’ Olivia exclaimed, her hands coming together under her chin. ‘You look absolutely devastating. You’re going to steal the whole show at the gala!’
‘Will’s outdone himself,’ Jason said, folding his arms and nodding appreciatively, his eyes running up and down my figure several times over.
I felt my blush deepen, my smile widening into a bright grin. ‘Thanks, guys.’
Olivia walked over, bending to get a better look at the details. ‘I have to say, Will’s got excellent taste.’
‘He does,’ I agreed.
‘It’s showing just the right amount of skin, and that bare back cut is to die for. I’m not sure you could have picked a better dress yourself.’
‘Me neither.’
Jason sighed, scratching the back of his head. ‘Man’s really setting the bar bloody high,’ he murmured, casting a glance at Olivia.
She looked over at him, her lips twisting in a humoured smile. ‘Worried you’ll be outshined?’
He chuckled and gripped his hips, shaking his head. ‘No, I can keep up – easily.’
‘Did you know about this?’ I asked Jason, tilting my head.
‘No, I didn’t have a clue. We talked about the gala last night, but—’ Suddenly he frowned, his nose wrinkling. ‘Actually, that reminds me – there’s something you should know.’
I went rigid, bracing myself for whatever he was about to say.
Jason’s gaze was unwavering, unusually serious. ‘Last night, he said he thought you might not want to go to the gala anymore because of everything that’s happened.’ His jaw tensed as he watched me. ‘I hate to say this, because I know you’re already struggling, but he’s really worried, Cara. He’s been trying to give you space, but it’s tearing him up inside. I can tell.’
A wave of acute remorse hit me, making me feel nauseous. My behaviour since the revelation – demanding space as I weighed my options – had evidently resulted in unintended consequences. I never meant for William to spiral into despair, to think I was pulling away.
‘Fuck.’ My face scrunched up. ‘I’ve been so caught up in my own confusion and fears, I didn’t realise how much it was affecting him.’
Jason nodded, his eyes filled with empathy. ‘I know things are complicated right now, but maybe you should talk to him. Let him know what you’re thinking – that you’re not pulling away, you’re just… considering. He needs to be reminded.’
I sighed, my shoulders sinking under the weight of my contrition. ‘Yeah. I’ll talk to him.’
Jason gave a faint smile ‘Good.’
Olivia looked thoughtful, her arms folded as she watched me. ‘Jase, could you leave us alone for a minute?’
‘Sure.’ He stepped out, closing the door behind him.
I let out a frustrated breath, my thoughts a chaotic storm as I sank onto the bed. Olivia took a seat beside me, putting her hand over mine on my lap.
‘Listen,’ she said softly. ‘I agree with Jason – you and William should talk. But Cara… don’t feel pressured to tell him you’re inclined to stay.’
‘What do I tell him, then?’ I asked, my voice tinged with desperation as I met her eyes. ‘How can I reassure him?’
‘Just tell him you heard from Jason that he’s been worried about the gala and all that, and then apologise for giving him that impression. Remind him you’re still here, that your feelings for him haven’t changed. If I were you, I’d spend some quality time with him. Kiss and cuddle. I think that’s what he needs right now.’
I stared at her, momentarily impressed by her constructive advice. Though her relationship with Colin had failed, the experience had evidently granted her a nuanced understanding of how to tackle matters like this. I was immensely grateful she could share that invaluable insight with me now, helping me navigate this tricky situation.
‘You’re right,’ I said, nodding. ‘It didn’t even occur to me that I can reassure him without outright addressing the baby situation.’
She chuckled. ‘You live and you learn.’
‘Yeah. Thank you – seriously.’ I tightened my grip on her hand. ‘I don’t know what I’d do without you.’
‘You’d probably say things you shouldn’t.’
I pursed my lips. ‘Probably.’
Chuckling, she stood up. ‘I’ll be right outside if you need me.’ She walked out, closing the door between us.
Taking a deep breath, I went to my desk and picked up my phone, dialling William’s number. It rang once, twice, before his voice came through, warm but laced with tension.
‘Cara?’
‘Hi, Will,’ I greeted, my voice surprisingly steady. ‘Guess what I’m wearing.’
He was quiet for a beat. ‘Something red? Ideally nothing.’
My lips twisted with amusement. ‘Something red and resplendent, yes.’
‘Resplendent,’ he echoed, chuckling. ‘I’m glad you like it.’
‘I love it. Thank you. It was completely unnecessary, of course, but I appreciate it.’
‘You know I’ll grab any chance to spoil you. I’m looking forward to seeing you in it.’
‘Yes, hopefully you’ll be dazzled,’ I replied, referencing what he had written on the card.
He laughed again, and the sound was exhilarating. I hadn’t heard him laugh nearly enough lately.
‘Anyway,’ I murmured, scratching my temple. ‘I was wondering whether I could come over.’
‘You’d like to come over?’ he asked, his shock clear from his tone. It hit me hard, guilt flickering – had I really pushed him so far away?
‘Yeah,’ I said, barely able to keep my sadness from seeping into my voice.
‘Sure, of course.’
‘Great. I’ll be there in about an hour.’
‘Are you spending the night?’
‘If it’s not too much trouble.’
‘Of course not,’ he said firmly. ‘See you in a bit, then.’
‘Yeah.’
He rang off. A slight frown lingered on my face as I slipped out of the dress and carefully hung it in the wardrobe. I changed into the T-shirt William had given me the morning after we first met. It was a deliberate choice; I hoped that when William saw it, he’d perceive it as a reassurance of my continued devotion. I paired it with loose denim shorts, the outfit perfect for the relaxed evening I had in mind.
Grabbing my bag, I packed my laptop and other essentials. With one last glance around the room, I slung the bag over my shoulder and headed out.
§ § §
My heart pounded as I made my way to William’s flat, the familiar route filling me with both excitement and trepidation. By the time I reached the vestibule, I had rehearsed my words countless times, hoping to strike the right balance of reassurance and honesty.
When the front door finally opened, my breath caught in my throat. William’s bright blue eyes met mine, their usual warmth shadowed by a hint of anxiety. He looked effortlessly stunning in a fitted charcoal-grey shirt that hugged his broad shoulders and muscular chest, while dark trousers complemented his lean, powerful legs. His hair, still slightly damp from a shower, framed his face in soft waves. The sight of him, so perfectly put together, sent a jolt of longing through me. In that instant, all the carefully rehearsed words evaporated from my mind, leaving me scrambling for how to begin.
‘Hi,’ he said softly, his eyes lingering on my T-shirt for a moment.
‘Hi,’ I replied, stepping inside.
A faint smile played on his lips as he took my bag from my shoulder, ever the gentleman. I stared at those lips, mustering up the courage to close the distance and kiss him. We’d shared so few of them lately that the act felt foreign, almost forbidden. The space I had demanded loomed like a barrier between us, making every touch, every display of affection, feel awkward and clumsy. I realised then, with a pang of regret, that I had built this wall, and now I was desperate to tear it down.
As William shifted slightly, looking like he was about to move away, I acted on impulse; I gripped his shirt and kissed him. He stiffened, caught by surprise, but then he softened, a sigh escaping his lips as he brought his arm around me, drawing me flush against his chest. His fingers traced a gentle path along my spine, as if relearning the contours of my body. I melted into him, my hands clutching the fabric of his shirt, holding on like he was my lifeline. I kissed him harder, a wordless apology.
When we finally pulled apart, his eyes searched mine, the shadow of uncertainty still lingering but now mingled with relief. ‘Cara,’ he murmured, his voice a soft caress. ‘You have no idea how much I needed that.’
I nodded, unable to find the words to express my feelings. Instead, I let my actions speak, pressing another kiss to his lips, this one softer, more tender. It was a start – a tentative step toward mending what had been broken.
He groaned against my mouth, his smile interfering. ‘I was beginning to wonder if I’d imagined how good this feels.’
‘I’m sorry,’ I said, kissing him over and over.
‘Don’t be. Your kisses are worth the wait.’
I eased back and cupped his jaw, staring at him with remorse.
‘You could melt an iceberg with that look,’ he said, smiling crookedly.
‘Well, you do bring out my warmer side.’
‘Oh, I know – it brings quite the blaze now and then,’ he replied, poking my nose. ‘Can I get you anything? Tea? Wine? A bucket of ice to cool down?’
I chuckled. ‘I’ll have a glass of wine if you will.’
He nodded, glancing away as he raised my bag slightly. ‘I’ll just put this in my wardrobe.’
‘Thanks.’
He vanished into his bedroom, leaving me alone with the memories that crowded the room. The conversation I’d had with Francesca whispered at the back of my mind, a spectre I had no desire to face. I clenched my teeth, a silent vow echoing in my mind. I wouldn’t let her shadow darken this moment.
William reappeared briefly, striding toward his kitchen and then disappearing inside. He returned with two glasses of red, offering me one with a winsome smile. ‘Should we head upstairs?’
‘Sure.’ I accepted the glass, feeling the warmth of his hand as I wrapped my free one around his. He tightened his grip, his smile widening a fraction.
As we made our way up the stairs, my lips parted at the sight that greeted us. The lamps weren’t lit, allowing the city lights to pour in like liquid silver, bathing the room in a soft, almost magical glow. London’s skyline stretched out before us, a sprawling tapestry of glittering and shadowed silhouettes. It was as if we had stepped into another world, one where the chaos of reality faded away, making the moment feel all the more intimate and infinitely precious.
William gently guided me further into the room, his features illuminated by the ambient glow. Every detail of his face was clear – the strong contours of his jaw, the graceful arch of his cheekbones, the straight bridge of his nose. In this light, he looked ethereal, like a figure out of a dream. The sheer view of him right then sent a pulse of electric heat through my body.
‘Could we turn the lights off downstairs?’ I asked, glancing back at the staircase. ‘The ambient light is really nice.’
William smiled softly, letting go of my hand and reaching into his pocket for his phone. A few taps later, the light downstairs dimmed and vanished, leaving us in the serene embrace of the city’s luminescence.
‘Perfect,’ I said, a grin spreading across my face as I looked back at him.
He gestured toward a light-grey, modern chaise longue facing the floor-to-ceiling windows. It had a wide cushioned seat, seemingly designed for a couple to lounge on comfortably. Small black tables stood on either side, perfect for placing our wine. We reclined onto it together, the city’s lights reflecting in our glasses.
‘What do you say to some music?’ he asked.
‘Sure. Something soothing, though.’
He pulled out his phone again, fingers moving swiftly across the screen until Lana Del Rey’s velvety voice reached my ears. The sound drifted from hidden speakers around us, her song weaving through the air like a gentle lullaby.
‘Excellent choice,’ I said, releasing a contented sigh.
William tucked his phone away and wrapped his arm over my shoulders, pulling me closer to his side. The warmth of his body seeped into mine, spreading through me like a soothing balm. I snuggled even closer, inhaling the heady mix of his cologne and natural scent, a combination that felt like home. How I had missed this – the intimacy, the effortless way we fit together, the comfort of his touch. Now that it was here, I never wanted to let go.
We surrendered to a tranquil silence, my eyes wandering over the breathtaking cityscape.
‘With a view like this, I’m surprised you’re looking for a new flat,’ I said after a while, taking a sip of wine.
‘Well, I’m not in a hurry. I won’t move until I find a flat with a view that can compete with this.’
I nodded, momentarily overwhelmed by the fact that he could afford to be so discerning.
‘Though,’ he murmured, ‘the most beautiful view is undoubtedly right beside me.’
I smiled coyly, my cheeks heating at his compliment.
‘I can’t wait to see you in that red dress,’ he said, leaning closer until his lips brushed across the shell of my ear. ‘I keep imagining how stunning you’ll look dancing in it at the gala. The dress will flow and shimmer with your every move, turning you into poetry in motion. All eyes will be on you.’
I blinked in surprise, my heart missing a beat. ‘Dancing?’
The breath of his chuckle fanned my ear, sending a shiver down my spine. ‘Yes.’
I leaned slightly away, facing him. ‘I didn’t know there would be dancing.’ I’d only done partner dancing once before, years ago. Panic bubbled up as I imagined myself stumbling through a formal dance. ‘I’m not sure I can do that,’ I said, my pulse beginning to race.
William’s arm tightened around me, his voice soothing. ‘It’s just dancing, Cara. Nothing to worry about. We’ll have fun.’
‘Fun?’ I shook my head, feeling the anxiety rise. ‘I’m sure the others will have loads of fun – when I mess up over and over.’
William smiled, his eyes sparkling with affection. ‘You won’t. And even if you do, we’ll laugh it off. It’s not about perfection. It’s about enjoying the moment.’
I bit my lip, still unsure, even though the idea of dancing with William made my heart flutter. ‘I’m really not con fident about this. I’m not exactly keen on being a laughing stock.’
He cupped my face gently, his thumb brushing my cheek. ‘I won’t let that happen. I’ll guide you through it. Just follow my lead and trust me.’
‘I can manage the trusting. The following, on the other hand…’
‘Then how about a dance right now?’ he suggested, taking my glass from my hand and setting it on the table. ‘Just a little practice, to ease you into it.’
‘Now? I hardly think we’ll be dancing to slow tunes like this one.’
He climbed out of the chaise longue. ‘It’s just to get an idea. Better to start slow. You’ve got to learn to walk before you can run.’ He extended his hand to me, a crooked smile on his face. ‘Cara, may I have this dance with you?’
I blushed, my whole face growing unbearably hot. For a moment, I could only stare at him. Then, a small smile bent my lips, and I took his hand. ‘Fine. I can’t believe I’m doing this.’
Grinning widely, he led me to the centre of the room. Once we reached the open space, he pulled out his phone and tapped the screen a few times. The sleek, modern fireplace flickered to life, casting a golden glow around the room. The warm light danced across William’s features, making him look even more ethereal.
‘Now, let’s start with your hands,’ he said, keeping my right in his left. ‘Your left hand goes on my upper arm, right beneath my shoulder,’ he instructed, guiding it to rest there. ‘And I’ll put my right hand on your back.’
His touch was gentle but assured, his hand resting on my left shoulder blade. The warmth of his palm seeped through the fabric of my T-shirt, accelerating the speed of my already racing heart.
‘Now, for your left elbow,’ he continued, his tone patient. ‘Keep it slightly raised and firm, but not too stiff. It will help us move with more control.’
He demonstrated by adjusting my arm, his fingers brushing against my skin, sending sparks of pure desire through my veins.
‘Good,’ he murmured, his eyes meeting mine with a smile. ‘Now, just follow my lead. We’ll take it slow.’
Lana Del Rey’s soothing voice continued weaving through the air, providing a gentle, rhythmic backdrop to our dance. William raised our linked hands and began to move, guiding me with grace and confidence, each step perfectly synchronised with the music.
‘See? You’re doing great,’ he said, his voice a soothing melody in itself. ‘Just feel the music and trust me to lead.’
I focused on his eyes, trying not to look down at our feet as I strove to match his movements. Slowly, the panic that had bubbled up earlier began to dissipate, replaced by a sense of confidence and connection. The world outside faded away as we swayed to the slow tempo of the song, lost in the moment, the music, and each other.
‘I’m glad you came over, Cara,’ he said after a while, his gaze burning with an intensity that made my chest ache.
‘Me too.’ I swallowed hard. ‘I’ve missed this – missed you.’
‘I’ve missed you, too.’ He pulled me against him, his hand slipping to the small of my back as he adjusted our stance into a more intimate dance. ‘More than you know,’ he said, his voice a hushed caress that wrapped around my heart.
I held his gaze, my features twisting with guilt. ‘Will, I really am sorry. I’ve just needed space to think, to process everything, and I didn’t realise how much it was affecting you.’ I put my hand on his cheek, running my thumb across it. ‘But I’m still here. My feelings for you haven’t changed.’
A soft sigh of relief escaped him, and I could almost feel the tension easing from his shoulders. He said nothing, just leaned in, his lips capturing mine in a kiss that was both tender and fervent, pouring all his emotions into that single, breathtaking moment. The kiss deepened, and I clung to him, feeling the depth of his love in every gentle movement. His hands roamed down my back, sliding under my T-shirt and then up again, caressing my bare skin.
He broke the kiss, his forehead resting against mine, our breaths mingling in the charged air. ‘Cara,’ he said quietly, his voice trembling with desire and suffering.
My fingers traced the line of his jaw, feeling the tension there. ‘I’m here,’ I breathed, my voice a mere whisper, heavy with emotion.
His lips found mine again, slow and deliberate, as if savouring every second. He bent slightly, his hands sliding down to grasp my thighs, lifting me effortlessly against him. The room seemed to melt away as he carried me to the sofa in front of the fireplace, the flickering light casting shadows that danced around us. Gently, he lay me down, his body covering mine. My hands moved of their own accord, exploring the contours of his shoulders, his back, feeling the strength of his muscles.
His kisses grew more intense, his fingers trailing down my sides. Finding the hem of my T-shirt, he lifted it slowly, reverently. I raised my arms, allowing him to pull it over my head. But as the fabric left my skin, a sliver of doubt crept in.
Was this wise? Was it fair to William to let things go further when everything was still so uncertain?
I felt a pang of guilt as I gazed up at him, his eyes dark with longing and vulnerability. He deserved honesty, clarity, not a fleeting moment that might blur the lines of our complicated situation.
When he was about to lean in again, his hand sliding up my bare torso, I gently caught his wrist.
‘William,’ I said, my voice unsteady. ‘Is this … wise?’
His jaw clenched and he paused, his gaze searching mine. ‘Yes,’ he said resolutely. ‘I want to savour this moment with you, to cherish you in a way I might not be able to …’ He trailed off and grimaced, his hand cupping my cheek. ‘It’s just … us, here and now. Before the world might tear us apart.’
His words struck a chord deep within me, easing some of the doubt that had clouded my mind. This moment was ours, isolated from the uncertainties of the future.
I nodded slowly, my heart pounding as I reached for his shirt and slowly unbuttoned it, revealing the expanse of his chest. I pushed the fabric from his shoulders, and he shrugged out of it, letting it fall to the floor. As he leaned in to kiss me again, I let myself be swept away by the passion of the moment, choosing to live in the now, if only for tonight.
Piece by piece, we shed our remaining clothes, driven by the urgency of our need. When I finally lay entirely exposed beneath him, he lowered his lips to my collarbone, tracing a path of fire across it. His fingers brushed against my skin, sending electric sparks wherever they roamed. I arched into him, every nerve ending alive with sensation, craving more of his touch, his closeness. He moved with patience, his hands and lips worshipping every inch of me.
The intensity between us grew with every caress, every kiss, our breaths mingling in a symphony of desire. When we finally came together, the connection between us deepened, the physical merging with the emotional as we finally found our release in each other’s arms.
We lay there afterward, wrapped in the warmth of each other. I traced lazy patterns on his chest, feeling the steady rise and fall of his breath.
‘No matter your decision, I’ll always be grateful for you,’ William said then, his eyes reflecting the fire’s light and something deeper, something absolute.
My breath hitched, my chest filling with the weight of his words. I reached up and stroked his cheek, my fingers shaking as I fought to stay composed, the tide of emotions threatening to overwhelm me. William leaned in, capturing my lips in another kiss, his arms tightening around me as if he could never let go. And I knew, feeling the truth of it deep in my bones, that this was where I belonged .