4. VANESSA
PARIS
I swallow the retort that bubbles up my throat as I watch Vanessa steer her teammate away from us.
Her long dark hair is pulled back into a high ponytail, and it sways back and forth in a hypnotic way.
I should look away, but I can’t. She’s always had that power over me.
I don’t know who I’m more angry at right now—Vanessa or myself.
I should aim my annoyance at Lydia, but she’s out of control like that because I let her get away with shit.
Her antics are getting old and making it much harder to remember why I put up with them in the first place.
“I can’t believe you let that bitch talk to us like that,” Lydia complains.
“What did you want me to do? Curse at them, start a fight? You’re the one who caused the drama.” I turn around and head for the cafeteria’s exit.
I sense several pairs of eyes staring at us. As usual, Lydia created a circus, and I’m once again the clown in her show.
“She had her hands all over you. I’m sick and tired of bimbos coming on to you.”
I push the door open with excessive force and increase my pace. Lydia has to run to keep up with me.
“She tripped. I just happened to be in her way,” I grit out.
“Whatever. I don’t buy it.”
I stop suddenly and whirl around. We’re now in the middle of the quad, and there are fewer people around. “You need to stop with this nonsense, Lydia.”
Her doe eyes widen and become brighter. Damn it. Here come the waterworks.
“I can’t stop it. Every girl on campus wants to take you away from me. No cares that you have a girlfriend. How do you think that makes me feel?”
“I can’t help what other people do. I’m with you, and you need to trust me. I never give you any reason to be jealous.”
The tears roll down her cheeks. Any other time, I’d pull her into a hug and console her.
But I’m finally beginning to see her behavior as pure manipulation.
Still, I hesitate. There’s a part of me that fears her over-the-top reaction is out of her control.
I remember that horrible day when I found Cory unresponsive. My stomach twists into painful knots.
Lydia wipes her tears with a jerky swipe of her fingers and then gives her back to me. Her entire body is shaking.
Hell.
I walk over and pull her back to my chest. “Please don’t cry.”
“I can’t help it. I’ve been under so much stress. Do you know how hard it is to get into a good medical program?”
“Uh, I’m pre-med too, remember?” I turn her around in my arms and tuck a loose strand of hair behind her ear.
Her expression softens, and then she rises on her tiptoes and presses her lips to mine.
There was a time when her kisses would spread warmth through my chest. Now, my heart constricts painfully. I know it’s over, but how do I tell her when she’s already spiraling?
Cory’s death might not have been my fault, but if I end things with Lydia now and she does something drastic, I’ll never forgive myself.