16. VANESSA
VANESSA
It’s futile to hold on to my grudge, to fight the hurricane of feelings that I kept bottled inside for so long. Paris was an idiot for believing my mother, but he was only thirteen. Then he lost his brother, and that viper Lydia swooped in when I couldn’t, thanks to fate fucking up my life.
Or maybe we needed the gap. How many love stories start at the cusp of teenage-hood and last more than a few months?
I don’t want to think about the past. The moment is now. I’m with Paris, and he’s kissing me like he wants to drown in me. I want to touch him everywhere, explore the hard planes of his body, feel the smoothness of his soft skin against my fingertips.
But Heather could come home at any moment, and I don’t want her to interrupt us again. Pulling back just a little, I say, “Let’s go to my room and get you out of those wet jeans.”
Paris’s heavy-lidded gaze bounces between my eyes, searching. “Are you sure?”
“Yes. More than anything in the world.”
He kisses me hard as he lifts me off the floor. My legs immediately wrap around his hips. Our mouths are fused together when he strides down the hallway.
I pull back suddenly, even though I don’t want to interrupt the toe-curling kiss. “Wait. Do you know where we’re going?”
“I was waiting for you to tell me.” He rubs the space between my eyebrows. “Get rid of this frown, beautiful. I never went exploring at that party last year, save for using the restroom.”
“How did you know what I was thinking?”
He kisses the corner of my mouth, and then whispers in my ear. “Because I know you too well.”
Desire travels down my back and curls at the base of my spine, while goose bumps prickle over my arms. “It’s the door to your left.”
Without missing a beat, Paris holds me with one arm so he can open the door. He doesn’t move farther into the room after he shuts us inside though.
“What is it?” I ask.
He turns half away and glances at the knob. “Your door doesn’t lock?”
“Sadly, no. Don’t worry. Heather never comes into my room.”
His lips split into a devilish grin. “Good. I don’t want to hold back for fear of getting caught.”
I reciprocate the smile. “Put me down? I want to get rid of these jeans.”
“As you wish.” He lowers me gently and then drops to his knees in front of me. “Let me help you.”
My breath catches when he unzips them and runs his tongue dangerously close to where I desperately want his mouth to be.
I thread my fingers through his hair and watch as he pulls the damp fabric down my hips and rolls the jeans off me.
Even though it’s tricky getting rid of wet pants, he does so easily, and this moment is so hot, I might combust on the spot just watching him.
“God, you’re beautiful,” he says, right before he kisses my sex through my panties.
Anticipation and lust are making me shake from head to toe, something Paris notices. “I can stop if you want.”
“No,” I croak. “Please don’t.”
He skims his hands up and down the sides of my legs. “Are you nervous, kitten?”
A shaky laugh bubbles up my throat, giving me away. “No.”
He narrows his heated gaze. “There’s no reason to be. Remember, it’s me.”
I blink fast as I process his words. Doesn’t he know I’m a jumble of nerves for that very reason? Or maybe he thinks my reaction is connected to my assault. If anything, I need Paris to erase every memory I have of Ryan.
“I know it’s you. I trust you.” I cup his cheek.
He turns his face and kisses my palm before looking up again. “I’ll make you feel good, gorgeous.”
“You already are.”
His smile lights up the room and makes my heart soar. This is the point of no return for me. I’m jumping off the edge and I don’t care if there’s solid ground below or not. I’ve broken the dam, now I can’t pretend anymore I’m not in love with him, always have been.
He pushes my panties aside and licks my clit with a sensuous stroke of his expert tongue, making me see stars. I hold on to his shoulders because I’m turning to putty in his hands.
With a groan, he grips my hips harder, digging his fingers into my skin.
His tongue is merciless and is quickly turning me into stardust. I buckle forward when the first wave of orgasm hits me, glad that he has a firm hold on me.
He pulls back when I’m still in the throes of it, but before I can complain, he replaces his mouth with his hand.
His thumb flicks my clit left and right while he penetrates me with two fingers.
“That’s it, kitten. Come for me.”
Nothing comes out of my mouth save for incoherent sounds. I’m breathless and boneless when the wave recedes.
I don’t realize I turned my hands into claws until I see the marks my long nails left on his shoulder. “I’m so sorry.”
Chuckling, he unfurls from his crouch. “Don’t be. I didn’t feel a thing.”
Keeping my eyes glued to his, I rub his erection through his jeans. “We have to remedy that.”
He groans, then captures my face between his hands and kisses me while I tease him through his clothes. It’s not enough though.
I pull back and whisper against his lips, “Watch me.”
It’s my turn to kneel before him, a veritable Greek god, and help his cock out of its briefs. I drop my jaw when I see his size. Paris is big everywhere . Before he takes my hesitation the wrong way, I wrap my fingers around the base, and lick its length from bottom to top.
“Oh my God, Vanessa.” His fingers snake through my hair.
Loving how he says my name like he’s dying a little, I bring the soft tip into my mouth and spend a moment playing with the sensitive skin.
His grip in my hair increases. He has a thick strand twisted in his fist, and the little bit of pain spurs me on.
I swallow his entire length until it hits the back of my throat.
I’ve never deep throated anyone before, but I’ll do anything to drive Paris wild.
“Oh yeah, babe. Just like that.” He begins to move his hips, an early attempt to fuck my mouth.
I want to him to do it, but not yet. I’m having too much fun exploring, learning what he likes. I pull back just enough to keep my lips around the head while I work him with my hand. My fingers glide up and down easily, and he seems to grow larger with each stroke.
“I want all the way in your filthy mouth again, kitten,” he says in a voice that’s tight with need.
I suck him again, loving his taste, the feel of his cock against my tongue.
“That’s it, babe. Suck me harder.”
He thrusts his hips forward, and this time, I do let him take control. His grunts of pleasure and his dirty mouth are making my clit throb again. I might come just from listening to him.
He’s rough and demanding, but I can take it. I can take all of him. He’s pulling my hair harder now, and I don’t think he realizes it yet, but it feels so damn good.
“Fuck! I’m gonna come.”
He tries to pull out, but I grab his butt cheeks and keep him where he is.
His cock throbs against my tongue as his release fills my mouth.
I drink it all, and when it’s all gone, I’m sad there isn’t more.
He goes perfectly still for a moment, and the grip he has on my hair lessens.
I ease back, releasing him with a wet pop, and let my knees fold until I’m sitting on the balls of my feet.
His expression is soft as he looks at me, but it changes in a flash to something close to remorse. He drops into a crouch in front of me and asks, “Did I hurt you, babe?”
“Uh, what? No.”
He watches me closely. “Are you sure?”
I nod. “Yeah. I never knew you had such a dirty mouth.”
His lips twitch as if he can’t decide if he should smile or continue to worry. “I never talked like that before, but with you…” He picks up a lock of my hair and lets it run through his fingers. “You drive me crazy, kitten.”
Pure elation spreads through my chest. I’m insanely happy that his ex never got to see this side of him.
“I want more of you, Paris.” I get back on my feet, pulling him with me.
He quirks an eyebrow. “How much more?”
Making sure I don’t put any weight on my right foot, I rise on my tiptoes and kiss his jaw. “Everything.”
He slants his lips over mine, kissing me hard and fast before stepping back. He yanks his jeans and underwear all the way down and then steps out of them. He makes a motion in my direction, but I raise my hand, halting him.
“Hold on for just a second. Let me take a moment to appreciate the view.”
He gives me a crooked smile. “Fine, but only if you get rid of that.” He points at my bra.
“I suppose that’s fair.” I reach behind my back and release the clasp.
I don’t break eye contact as I lower each strap individually and finally let the bra fall at my feet.
Paris’s Adam’s apple bobs up and down as he swallows hard. “Damn it. You’re breathtaking.”
I drop my gaze to his ripped chest and abs and try to make out all the ink he has there. “So are you. When did you start getting those?”
“Two years after Cory died.” He touches a spot on his left pec. “I got this one for him.”
I look closer so I can read the quote. My heart lurches in my chest when I recognize the words. It’s a quote from the poem I wrote him. In the darkness, I shall remember how your gaze brightened everything.
“I… I didn’t think you cared about that.”
He frowns. “Do you know where this is from?”
His question takes me aback. “Of course I do. I wrote it.”
He stares at me without blinking, without breathing. “ You wrote it?” He gets the words out as if he’s having a hard time processing them.
“Yes. I wrote you a letter, and the poem. I stuck the envelope in your mailbox the day after Cory died.”
Paris’s face becomes paler. He shuffles back until he sits on the edge of my mattress, holding his head in his hands. “I can’t believe this.”
“Can’t believe what?”
He looks up. “Lydia gave me that poem. She said she wrote it.”
My stomach clenches painfully. And then comes the rage. “That lying bitch . She must have stolen the letter and copied the poem.”