17. VANESSA
VANESSA
I wake up with someone kissing my shoulder.
At first, I’m think I’m dreaming, but then the last vestiges of sleep ebb away.
The solid chest pressed against my back reminds me this isn’t a dream.
I slept with Paris, and he ended up spending the night.
I wait for apprehension to hit me. He’s my first love and heartbreak, and I’ve been wrestling with my feelings—lust, longing, and fear—for a while.
But the anxiety doesn’t come, maybe because, not satisfied with kissing me, he runs his fingers down my stomach.
Letting out a sigh, I snuggle closer. “Hmm, I could get used to waking up like this.”
“Me too.” He bites my shoulder gently as his fingers glide between my legs, finding my folds already slick with desire.
He slides down the bed and turns me on my back at the same time. The sheet is partially covering us, and before he disappears underneath it, he locks his heated gaze with mine, making it difficult to breath.
“Have I told you how glorious you look in the morning?” he asks and places an open-mouth kiss below my belly button.
I shiver. “No, and it’d be a lie anyway.”
“Not from where I am. Now let’s find out if you taste as sweet as last night.”
He moves farther south, disappearing from view. Instead of peppering a trail of kisses down my belly, he slides his warm tongue all the way to my center and, when he gets to my clit, he licks my bundle of nerves nice and slow.
I twist my fingers around the sheet beneath me, arching my back as a desperate moan escapes my lips. “Oh, Paris. Yes .”
He alternates between licking and sucking my clit into his mouth.
My toes are already curling, and he’s only just begun.
This proves that last night’s performance wasn’t a fluke.
He’s not only a feast for the eyes, he’s also a god in bed.
In less than a minute, he has me panting.
He nudges my legs farther part, and then flattens his palm on my pubic bone and eats my pussy as if it’s the best thing he’s ever had.
I can already feel the telltale signs that an orgasm isn’t far.
My nipples are as hard as little pebbles.
Closing my eyes, I play with them, heightening my pleasure.
The hinges of my bedroom door creak loudly a second before Heather says, “Hey, have you… oh my god.”
My eyes fly open, and I’d have jumped into a sitting position if Paris wasn’t between my legs. “Heather! What the hell!”
“Sorry! I didn’t know you made up with Ryan.” She begins to back away, but then Paris’s head pops from under the sheet.
“She did not make up with that asshole,” he growls.
If I wasn’t dying of mortification, I’d take pleasure in Heather’s reaction. Her eyes bug out of her skull cartoon style. Then she squints. “I knew there was something going on between you two.”
“Get out!” I toss my pillow at her.
She finally does, shutting the door. I close my eyes and pinch my nose. “Kill me now.”
“And you said she would never barge in here.” He laughs.
I open my eyes and glare. “This has never happened before. Maybe she knew you were here and wanted to catch us.”
Paris folds his arms over my tummy and rests his chin on top of them. “My truck is parked right out front.”
“Ugh! One more reason to kill her.”
“Do you want to do that after I get you off?” He wiggles his eyebrows up and down.
I don’t know if I should laugh or yell. “No. She killed the mood.” I push him off me and get up.
“Yeah, I should get going anyway. I don’t want to be a witness to murder. That could hinder my chances of getting into a good med school.”
“You’re making fun of me, and I don’t appreciate it.” I grab a pair of clean undies from the chest of drawers and put them on hastily.
Paris finds his jeans and wrinkles his nose. “Damn. I should have hung these in the bathroom to dry.”
Remorse dampens my anger a little. “Crap. I totally forgot about it too. Are they still super wet?”
“Damp, but hell, nothing for it now.”
He gets dressed and I simply watch. Never mind that I’m still wearing only a pair of panties.
He notices, and with a sexy smile, walks over. “I think that maybe you do want me to finish what I started.” He circles my waist with his strong arms.
“The issue is that I’ll want more, and we’re out of condoms.”
He twists his face into an exaggerated frown. “True. I’ll stop by the drugstore later. We won’t want for condoms, kitten.”
And here comes the dreaded morning-after talk.
“About that… what exactly are we doing?”
He grows serious and it’s not an act now. “Honestly, I wasn’t planning on jumping into another serious relationship.”
Disappointment floods through me. I should be on the same page—I just got out of a relationship. But it’s Paris, and I’m in love with him.
“Yeah, same.” I try to pull away, but he holds me against him.
“You didn’t let me finish. It wasn’t the plan, because I never thought you’d give me the time of the day.”
“Oh.”
He traces my hairline with the tips of his fingers. “I won’t lose you again, babe.”
My heart overflows with emotion, and if I’m not careful, I might blurt out the truth and surely scare the crap out of him. Who says the L word after one hookup? Crazy people. I don’t want him to think I’m from the same psycho town as Lydia.
“What are you saying, Paris? Do you want to date me?”
“I do.” He kisses my neck, making my eyes flutter. “But I think we should keep things on the down low for now.”
I pull back and look him in the eye. “Why?”
Letting out a sigh, he steps back, releasing me. I miss the contact immediately. “Well, there’s the issue of our families. I want to date you without the drama.”
I cross my arms. “We can’t avoid our parents forever. But it’s more than that, isn’t it?”
He pinches his lips together, and his eyes look hella guilty now. “Yeah, there’s the Lydia factor. We are one hundred percent over, at least on my part, but you saw her on the quad. She’s clearly not ready to let me go. And after what you told me about the stolen poem….”
“What? You don’t believe she did that?”
“That’s not what I’m saying at all. I believe you. But knowing what she did… it just proves that she isn’t a stable person.”
“That’s too fucking bad. Paris, you can’t make life decisions around her moods.”
His expression is pained, which makes me want to scream.
“I know. I’m trying to spare you.”
“I don’t need your protection. I can handle any shade she throws my way. Don’t use her as an excuse to keep this quiet because you’re afraid to hurt Lydia’s precious feelings.”
“I don’t care about her feelings.” Rubbing his jaw, he glances away. “I think I’ve already fucked this up. I should go.”
My stomach drops through the earth. That’s it? He’s just going to walk away because I don’t agree with his idiotic thought process?
“Yeah, I guess you should.”
“I’ll call you later.”
I almost say don’t bother , but that would be childish. I end up not saying a word, but I don’t miss the fact that he walks out of my room without kissing me goodbye.
I turn away from the door as tears gather in my eyes. I knew this was too good to be true. I trusted Paris, and he once again smashed my heart to pieces.
Ugh. I’m so fucking stupid. Maybe I shouldn’t have lost my temper so quickly and tried to see it from his side.
The door opens again, and I’m ready to tell Heather to get lost, but arms hug me from behind, and Paris’s mouth kisses my shoulder.
“I’m sorry, kitten. I’m an idiot.”
The anger swirling in my chest is quickly replaced by relief. He came back, and I can’t help melting into his body. “Yes, you are.”
“You’re right. I can’t keep my happiness on hold because other people are miserable, or in her case, insane.” He turns me around in his arms. “I want to be with you.”
I search his eyes and find nothing but honesty in them.
It makes me feel guilty that I was quick to judge his motivation.
If I’d been in his shoes and found out my ex had been lying to me for years, I’d go nuclear on his ass.
But Paris isn’t like me. Raging jealousy made me react that way.
I don’t want Lydia taking up any more space in his mind than she already did.
I have to trust him, or this will never work.
“I want to be with you too. And maybe it wouldn’t be the end of world if we don’t broadcast that we’re together yet. I’m not saying that to spare Lydia—I actually want her to rot in hell. But it’d be nice to get to know you without the world intruding.”
“Are you saying you want to date me in secret?”
I shrug. “Why not? It could be fun sneaking around. And major bonus points for avoiding parental drama.”
“Yeah, but can Heather keep a secret?” He arches an eyebrow.
“Oh, I’ve been saving up dirt on her for a long time. She’ll keep mine if I keep hers.”
“Now I’m curious.”
“If I tell you, then I’ll lose my bargaining chip.”
He cradles my face between his hands and claims my lips. This should be a see-you-later kiss, not the fire-starter kind. I’m regretting not letting him finish his tongue play after Heather barged in.
As if reading my mind, he says, “Sit on my face, kitten.”
“What about you?”
He bites my earlobe softly, then whispers in my ear, “Oh, don’t worry, I’m gonna enjoy myself thoroughly.”