CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Brett
Present
“How was writing the book?” Judy flips through the pages in her lap, “This is a huge accomplishment.”
I promised her I’d bring her a copy. It’s not published, it’s only a manuscript, but I thought if she can read it, she’ll understand some things about me that I don’t know how to put into words—things I’m still discovering about myself. It’s technically fiction, but there are always kernels of truth hidden between the lines. Always…
“It actually didn’t take me as long to write as I thought it would. One day, it hit me like I just needed to do it. And once I started, I just kept writing as long as the words flowed.”
“How did it feel to finish it?” Judy glances up, “How does it feel now to see your story on actual pages in front of you?”
“I already know what it feels like to finish writing a book…” I trail off with a hint of sadness, “but now it feels weird, like I’m so happy it’s done, but I’m scared of what happens next.”
“Are you afraid of what will happen when people read it?”
“Yes…” I nod apprehensively, “this is what I’ve wanted my entire life, but it comes with a price. I can’t have my dream without the nightmare. And that…” I pause, scrunching my face up in frustration.
“Is really fucked up?” Judy finishes my sentence.
“Yes!” I explode in anger. “Why do I have to deal with all this shit after the fact? Why does that motherfucker get to wreck people’s lives and just go on like nothing happened?” I shout, flipping my hand through the air. “Why does he get to forget everything? ”
“No, no, no, no…” Judy immediately drops the papers and raises one hand to stop me. Then she points her mauve fingernail straight at me, “He has not forgotten you,” her eyes bore into me from across the coffee table, “and he will never forget you.”
●●●
Episode 186: Brett Sorensen
The Spice Ghouls Pod
June 22 ? 42 min 41 sec
00:21:06
SYDNEY: So, we all know no matter how many fans you have, there will always be haters out there.
TYLER: Welcome to the club…
SYDNEY: What do you say to the people who think you’re romanticizing toxic masculinity and violence against women?
brETT: Is that because Gage’s character is supposed to be hot?
SYDNEY: I’m sure.
TYLER: And then you immediately ruin their lives when he turns out to be the villain…
(LAUGHTER)
brETT: I get it, it’s not fair. But I think it’s important to differentiate between romanticizing something and merely writing about it. Abusers romanticize themselves all the time. They don’t need help from me.
SYDNEY: Yes …
brETT: For me, it’s all about intent. I have to show you why things happened the way they did. And the truth is, they wouldn’t have happened if Gage’s character wasn’t extremely appealing at first. I’d also ask the skeptics whether they’ve met anyone who’s endured narcissistic abuse. I think society still has this image of a villain that doesn’t jive with reality. Think about it—a serial killer doesn’t get away with their crimes because they look like Freddy with knives for fingers lurking in the bushes. They get away with it because they look like everyone else, maybe even better. They’re attractive, smart, charismatic, and they can blend in with their surroundings. But it’s hard to wrap our minds around it because we don’t want to believe we can be tricked.
TYLER: Hellooo, Ted Bundy, party of one…
SYDNEY: Isn’t that what frightens people—this concept that someone close to you can be so dark and you might never know it?
brETT: And you know what’s worse? Sociopaths are notoriously good in bed.
(LAUGHTER )
SYDNEY: What?
TYLER: Seriously? Like, for real?
brETT: Fact. It goes with the charade, to draw you in.
TYLER: Are you telling me I might’ve already slept with a serial killer?
brETT: I didn’t say everyone who’s good in bed or even anyone who’s a sociopath is a serial killer!
TYLER: But how do I know ? You have seriously complicated my life now.
SYDNEY: Let it be known that Brett Sorensen has single-handedly made Tyler reevaluate her entire personal life.
TYLER: You’re one to talk…
SYDNEY: Shhh-shut it! OK, we’re devolving—back on topic. Anyway, Brett, what you’re saying makes sense because if you could just pick out who’s dangerous and who’s not, we wouldn’t be having this conversation.
brETT: Exactly. So many abusers make it their mission to create this persona that the outside world sees, and it’s so carefully crafted that no one would believe otherwise! And it’s really hard to cut them loose because, when they sense you’re about to bounce, they can just flip the switch and be your best friend, the love of your life, or the best parent in the world, because that’s what you want to see. It’s psychological warfare. And it’s dirty.
SYDNEY: I think this is a good place to segue into my next question. I’ve heard from a few listeners that say this story sounds like it was written by someone who experienced it firsthand.
brETT: Really?
TYLER: Based on a true story, one might say?
(LAUGHTER)
TYLER: Sorry, you knew what this was.
brETT: I know, I know. Well, I think a lot of people can relate to these characters, whether they’ve seen it play out with loved ones or they themselves are survivors. The names are fictitious, but the events are real. This story can be written a million times over. I’m not the first, and I certainly won’t be the last.
SYDNEY: OK, so the characters are real…what about the smut?
TYLER: The smut!
brETT: I already told you, the smut goes with the persona.
SYDNEY: So, will you name names?
brETT: Sydney, you know I can’t answer that.
(LAUGHTER)
TYLER: That’s not fair! How do you warn people?
brETT: There are many like him, his name doesn’t matter.
TYLER: OK, I have to ask, because this is fresh off the socials…I’m sure you’ve seen the picture that’s been circulating.
brETT: Which one ?
TYLER: The PDF of the restraining order. I think it’s fake because even without AI, it would take, like, five seconds to make. But people have been blowing up our comments all morning.
(SILENCE)
SYDNEY: Brett?
(SILENCE)