Chapter 15
Tears pour down my cheeks as I watch the coffins being carried in.
Travis sings softly, and a light rain drizzles over the cemetery.
Three coffins, three of our family, three of Chief’s brothers gone.
I feel a hand tighten around mine—it’s my mom.
We wear simple black dresses; I’ve pulled on dark sunglasses.
Around us, thirty or more bikers are lined up, heads bowed, their shining bikes a testament to the bond they share.
“To our men, our brothers, our family—may you rest in peace. Drink all the beer you can and enjoy all those beautiful women in heaven,” Chief calls, as they line the coffins up to be lowered into the ground.
The funerals were so sad, and hard to watch, but coming here and seeing them being lowered into the ground is a whole new level of shock and pain.
All the men raise their hands and cheer.
My eyes find Chief—he’s red-eyed, staring at the coffins.
I know he blames himself. Never mind whose fault it was; he’s the President, and those were his men.
My mom steps away, choking on a sob. I bow my head in a silent prayer.
Chief eventually walks over and pulls me into his arms.
“You take your momma home, ok?”
I pull back. “I will. Are you okay?”
“I’ll be alright. We’ll be home later.”
I force a weak smile. Jasmine comes over and stands beside me, taking my hand. I squeeze hers. Chief strokes my cheek, then Jasmine’s. “My girls take care, won’t ya? I’ll be home later.”
We both nod. I slip away to see Travis before we leave.
“You staying?” I ask him.
He nods, his face impassive. “Yeah, I will go ride with them.”
I lean in, kissing him.
We haven’t spoken about the Janice situation again, other than him telling me she was okay.
I didn’t ask any more questions, I just can’t focus on that right now, not with the funerals and Chief getting out of the hospital.
It has been enough to take in, without adding anything else.
I have received another letter from whoever the fuck is obsessed with Travis since I have been home, and the more I think about it, the more I start to wonder if it’s Janice.
Right now, I can’t think about it.
We make our way home, and just as I am about to prepare a coffee for Mom and Reagan, my phone rings. An unfamiliar number. I swipe to answer.
“Hello?”
“Hi, Violet? It’s Amber’s grandma Dolores, we met a while back. I hope you don’t mind, I got your number from Bill, he said you weren’t home when I stopped in. I just wanted to see how Travis has been doing? I see he is clean, and passing all his checks, and Amber has been asking about him...”
“Hi,” I respond, still shocked she is calling. “I don’t mind at all. He has been doing really well. I know he misses her a lot.”
“Look, we got off on the wrong foot, I was quite rude. I know I am over the top, but Amber is all I have. I just...”
“It’s okay,” I say, my voice gentle. “You are protecting what you love, I respect that.”
“I don’t think badly about your club, for what it’s worth. It just triggered me. After losing my daughter, I wanted to blame everyone else for her choices, but in the end they were just that...hers.”
“Nobody is judging you for protecting what you love,” I tell her. “I admire it, to be honest.”
She goes silent for a minute. “Amber loves Travis, and the last thing I want to do is take that from her, or him. So, I was thinking it might be time to arrange a visit. I have been advised they are to be supervised for now, but it can be anyone I choose. I think it’s important she sees him.”
My heart swells. “I know it would mean the world to him, especially right now. When were you thinking?”
“Well, if you don’t mind being there for the supervised part, we can meet at his place this afternoon?”
“Really?” I say, my voice filling with excitement.
“Sure, if you think he is up for it?”
“I think he will love it.”
“Great,” she says. “I will drop her off at three, and pick her up at five?”
“That is perfect. We will see you then.”
I hang up with a smile on my face, a spark of light in all this darkness.
With a new burst of energy, I do some cleaning at Chief’s house before I go home, to make sure he has everything he needs tonight without worry. Halfway through, Jasmine arrives, smiling as she walks up the front steps.
“Girl, do you ever stop cleaning?”
I laugh. “I’m just nervous cleaning, actually.”
“Why are you nervous cleaning?”
“Amber’s grandma is bringing her over to Travis this afternoon for their first visit in months.”
Jasmine smiles. “Oh, that’s so good. Amber’s adorable.”
“You know her?”
“Yeah, when Travis used to have her, I met her a few times. A real little cutie.”
I swallow, rubbing my arms. “What if she hates me?”
Jasmine steps closer, taking my arms and squeezing them. “No way. She will love you. She is such a sweetie, and I know you will love her, too.”
“I hope so,” I whisper. “I should go and make sure Trav’s house is tidy before she gets here.”
Jasmine squeezes again before letting go. “You’ve got this.”
I hope so.
I head back to Travis’s place and clean up, and before I know it, it is three o’clock.
Travis finishes soon and I want it to be a surprise when he comes in.
A car arrives a few minutes later, and I am sick with nerves.
What if she doesn’t want to leave her with me to wait?
What if Amber doesn’t want to get out of the car?
What if she hates me? God, I might vomit.
I drag my hands over my jeans, pacing behind the screen door as the car parks.
I hear a little girl’s voice, and my heart kicks up a notch.
Amber climbs out first and the first thing I notice is her long, golden hair and cute pink dress.
She has a bear clamped under her tiny elbow.
Her grandma emerges next, coming around to the front of the car.
I step out and walk down the stairs, knees wobbling. “Hi,” I smile, trying to keep my voice calm and not too over the top.
Amber hangs back, peeking from behind her grandma’s legs. Same eyes as Travis. I almost choke on the familiarity, my heart swelling. Jasmine is right, she is a beautiful little girl.
“She’s a little shy today,” her grandma calls, smiling.
A difference from the last time I saw her.
I wonder what changed.
“I’m Violet,” I say to Amber, kneeling so I am at her eye level. “I’m your daddy’s friend. I have to ask, is that your Barbie house inside? Because I have been eyeing it off since I got here.”
She tips her head and asks in a soft voice, “Which Barbie house? Is it a new one, or the old one?”
“Hmm, you know, I think it’s a new one, because it’s very pink and has a slide for the dolls.”
She looks up at her grandma, then steps out. “It has a slide?”
“Two,” I say, nodding.
“Can we see?”
“Of course, come on.”
She stretches out her hand and takes mine. I smile at her grandma, and she nods, seemingly relieved. “I’ll be back at five. If there’s any problem, just give me a call. Be a good girl for Daddy, Amber. I will see you soon.”
“Bye Grandma!” Amber calls.
Inside, I show Amber the Barbie house. She sits cross-legged. “This one is so cool.”
“It is cool,” I say, sitting beside her. “When I was little, I used to love Barbies.”
“I love Barbies,” she sings. “Can we play?”
I snort. “Well, obviously, I have been waiting!”
“Can you be Doctor Barbie?” she asks.
“Yes, I absolutely do.”
She hands me a Barbie in a white doctor’s coat. “You just have to make sure Barbie gets to the hospital. And then you have to give her a candy. That’s how doctors work, you know?”
“Got it!”
Amber dramatically thrusts the doll at the house. “Oh no, help. I have a broken leg.”
“Oh no,” I cry, rushing my roll over. “Hurry, we need the hospital.”
We play for ten straight minutes with some serious dramatics. I have actually lost track of the time when the door opens, and Travis steps in. We both spin around.
“Sunshine?” he whispers, pausing, his face scrunching with emotion.
My heart.
Amber whirls around, face lighting up.
“Daddy!”
She launches up and runs towards him. He lifts her, spinning her around, kisses peppering her cheeks. She wraps her tiny arms around his neck. My chest tightens, he’s missed her so much and seeing them like this is quite possibly the most beautiful thing I have ever seen.
Travis turns to me, his eyes glassy. “You did this?”
“Well, not really,” I shrug, my voice thick. “Her grandma called and asked. I thought it would be a nice surprise.”
“Thank you,” he says, voice thick. “This is the best gift ever.”
“She needs you as much as you need her,” I murmur, smiling at Amber.
“What do you say we hit the beach?” he turns to Amber, grinning.
“Yay!” she squeals. “I love the beach. Violet, will you come?”
“I wouldn’t miss it.”
“Do you still have swimmers here, Daddy?” Amber asks.
“Yep.”
“Yay!” She squeals and dashes off.
Travis walks over and pulls me close. “Of all the things you could do for me, this—” He presses his forehead to mine. “Will never be forgotten.”
“I would do anything for you.”
He kisses me long and soft. His hands slide over my back, lips tracing mine until I’m breathless. He pulls back and brushes a thumb over my swollen lip.
“Later,” he whispers. “I’m gonna fuck you so slowly...”
“Let’s go!” Amber cries, rushing around the corner.
I laugh. “Beach time!”
Hand in hand with Travis and Amber, we head to the beach. We swim, build sandcastles, and laugh until our bellies ache. Amber snuggles beside me as the sun dips low. Travis watches, smiling brighter than I’ve ever seen.
“How many kids do you want, Mischief?” he asks as she drifts off to sleep against me.
“Oh, ten, at least,” I tease.
“You know you have to marry me first.”
I beam. “Obviously.”
“And then we’ll have heaps of babies.”
“Well, maybe not heaps...”
He laughs, then takes my hand and kisses it. “What you did today will never leave me.”