Chapter 47
CHARLIE
It’s been five days since I broke up with Troy, and I’m a complete wreck. Dad didn’t move out like I’d expected him to, but the situation at my folks’ is tense as hell. It’s gotten so bad that Tammara’s parents invited Ben to spend the week with them.
My heart is squeezed tight as I step foot into my house. Good on his word, Troy has moved out, and his absence is like a black hole in what used to be paradise to me.
Fred drove me—I couldn’t deal with Blake and his I-told-you-so stare. He sets my bags on the floor and asks, “Do you want me to bring your bed downstairs?”
“What’s the point? I still have to go to the second floor to shower and change clothes.”
“True.”
We don’t speak for a while, and the silence begins to smother me.
I sense his eyes burning a hole through my face. Without looking at him, I say, “Out with it already, Fred.”
“I know it’s not my place to mention it, but are you sure you can’t fix things with Troy? You look pitiful.”
“Gee, thanks, Captain Obvious.”
“I’m serious, Charlie. It’s not his fault that your dad is an ass—um, that he cheated.”
“I know, but it’s his fault for not telling me as soon as he found out.”
“Honestly, you can’t say you wouldn’t have kept your mouth shut as well if the situation had been reversed. You’re recovering from an accident.”
Fred’s words feel like a dagger twisting in my chest. He’s not wrong, but I can’t even think about Troy without remembering that horrible scene with his drunk mother, telling everyone about the affair.
“Can we please stop talking about Troy?”
“Okay. Well, what do you want to do?”
“I think I just want to be alone for now. Work on some school assignments.”
“Okay then. I’m off tomorrow if you want to hang out.”
I already know I won’t, but it will be easier to decline his offer tomorrow over a text message. If I say no now, he’s going to bug me until I agree to do something.
“Sounds good.”
As soon as Fred walks out the door, I’m swept under a wave of sorrow.
My chest is too tight, and I can’t get air into my lungs.
I try to watch TV, but quickly, I realize it won’t work.
The only thing showing is Troy’s picture.
The sanest thing would be to move out, if I had that option.
Everything in this house reminds me of him.
I head to my room. Maybe if I surround myself with my things, it will help. But as soon as I reach the landing, my gaze travels down the corridor to his bedroom door. I move toward it, knowing that opening that door will only make things worse. But I’m a glutton for punishment.
My eyes zero on in his bed, and a choke gets lodged in my throat.
I move toward it and then run my fingers over the mattress.
My eyes burn as they fill with tears, and yet I don’t turn around to walk away.
I lie down and bring his pillow to my nose.
I’m drowning in his scent, in his presence, but I don’t care.
Can someone die of heartbreak? Because it feels like that’s what’s happening to me. The tears come through a loud choke, and quickly, they drench Troy’s pillow. I hold on to it and don’t fight the ugly cry that wrecks me to pieces.
* * *
I wake up, bleary-eyed, not knowing where I am for a moment.
But Troy’s faint aftershave scent reaches my nose, reminding me that I slept on his bed last night.
I sit up, rubbing the sleep from my eyes.
I feel weak, hollow, but not completely destroyed as I did yesterday.
The sharp pain in my chest is still there, though.
Slowly, I get ready for another bleak day.
Thanks to the cast, it takes me an hour to get to the kitchen and fix my caffeine deprivation problem.
As I wait for it to brew, the tone of a text message draws my attention to my phone.
I left it on the kitchen counter yesterday. I’m surprised the battery didn’t die.
The name that pops on my screen makes my stomach clench tight. Ophelia hopes I’m going to visit her today. She wants to talk. There’s no need to specify the topic. I’m tempted to blow her off, but she’s always been kind to me, and in all honesty, I’m in deep need of her advice.
I reply that I’ll be there, and then I text Fred. He offered to spend time with me, so that’s what we’re doing today. His answer comes swiftly. He’s a minute from my place. It seems he wasn’t going to let me blow him off today and was already en route to kidnap me.
Exactly a minute later, he’s knocking on my door. I hop toward it to be faster. I’m getting better with the crutches, but it’s still a pain to use them.
“Morning, sunshine,” he greets me with a broad smile.
“Why are you so cheerful? Isn’t it too early for you?”
“Yep, but I need to bring an extra dose of good vibes to counter your foul mood.”
“I haven’t had coffee yet.” I hop back to the kitchen.
“I brought treats.” He follows me.
“Good.”
“What are we doing today?” He sets the treats bag on the counter.
“I have to visit Ophelia at Golden Oaks.” I grab two mugs from the cupboard, purposely giving my back to him. I’m sure he’ll have an opinion about it.
“Do you think visiting his grandmother is a good idea?”
I sigh, turning around. “No. But I owe her an explanation. I broke Troy’s heart.”
“Hmm. Okay.”
Fred doesn’t press further, allowing me to have breakfast in peace. I have to force the doughnut down, though because my appetite is gone. The knots in my stomach are taking away all the joy of eating.
We keep the conversation light on the way to Golden Oaks. Fred monopolizes most of it. But by the time he parks in front of the building, I’m a ball of nerves.
“Here we are,” he says. “Do you want me to go in with you?”
“No, it’s better if I talk to her alone.”
He covers my hand with his. “It’s going to be okay, Charlie.”
I nod, and then get out of the car.
Cheyenne is behind the reception desk this morning, and I wish she weren’t here. She hasn’t seen me since the accident. Plus, she knows me well and immediately notices I’m a hot mess.
“Honey, is everything okay?” she asks.
“No, not really. But hopefully, it will be better after my visit. Is Ophelia in her apartment?”
“Yes, she’s expecting you.”
“Okay, thanks.”
Ophelia’s apartment is an efficient unit with a small kitchen, a living room, a balcony facing the gardens, and a master suite. Once, I asked her if she missed her spacious house, but she said she’d rather live in a small place and have good company than live in a mausoleum alone.
The front door is open, so I call her name as I walk in.
“I’m outside, Charlie,” she replies.
I cross the living room, finding her sitting on a chair with a blanket over her lap and a mug of tea between her hands.
“Hi,” I say.
She turns to me with a tight smile on her face. “Would you like some tea? The water in the kettle is still hot.”
“No, I’m good, thanks.” I pull up a chair.
There’s a moment of silence when Ophelia just stares at me, making me uncomfortable.
“Where are Jack and Louis?” I ask.
“Probably out, pestering someone. How have you been, dear?”
I shrug. “I’ve been better.”
“Dreadful thing, what happened with your folks.” She shakes her head. “Elaine’s never had much of a moral compass.”
“She didn’t sin alone,” I reply bitterly.
“No, but that showdown was all her. She’s always been like that, creating drama and placing the blame on others instead of owning up to her mistakes.”
Ophelia’s comment makes me think about what Troy told me. “Did she really blame Troy for Robbie’s death?”
Her eyes cloud, and her mouth becomes a flat line.
“Yes. She and Jonathan both did. I tried to tell Troy it wasn’t true.
He wasn’t supposed to be looking after Robbie.
He was a kid, for crying out loud, and Robbie had his floaties on.
Elaine and Jonathan got distracted at the party and didn’t notice that he had somehow gotten rid of them.
I was the one who found Robbie, drowned in the pool.
” She closes her eyes and shudders. “It was awful.”
“Troy vehemently believes he’s guilty.”
She shakes her head. “I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve told him the truth.”
My eyes fill with tears again, and there are too many to keep contained. I wipe off the ones that roll down my cheeks.
“You must think I’m a terrible person to have ended things with him.”
Ophelia gives me a pitiful glance. “Oh dear. I don’t think that at all. I can read in your eyes how much this separation is costing you.”
I drop my gaze to my lap. “I miss him so, so much. But it feels like a betrayal to my mother if I’m together with him. It’s stupid.”
“No, it’s not. You’re a good daughter, but remember, you can’t keep your happiness on hold because someone close to you is miserable. Life is too short for that kind of nonsense.”
Sagging my shoulders forward, I let out a heavy exhale. “I know. I just need more time.”