Chapter 12
Fuck, what the hell is wrong with me? Why did I suddenly decide to act like an overprotective big brother?
Driving back, the truck’s engine hums softly, a counterpoint to the turmoil churning inside me. Tonight was supposed to be about unwinding, yet here I am, knotted up over Gracie. Seeing those guys at the wine tasting, all of them checking her out in that black dress, stirred something in me I can’t quite place.
When did she become so beautiful? It’s not like she wasn’t always pretty, but tonight, she seemed to shine differently. And this dress she’s wearing… I’m sure I’ve seen her in it before, so why is she capturing my attention now?
I shake my head, trying to dislodge these thoughts. This is Gracie, my best friend since forever.
I decided a change of scenery might do us both some good, so I head towards an open field near the lake by my cabin. It’s quiet there, peaceful. The kind of place where you can forget the rest of the world exists.
“We’re here,” I announce as I park, cutting the engine. The sudden silence feels heavy, filled with all the things we haven’t said tonight.
Gracie, a little buzzed and more relaxed than she’s been all evening, smiles at me. “This is perfect, Connor.”
We hop into the bed of the truck with our legs dangling off the edge, wrapping ourselves in the blanket I keep stashed for chilly nights. The lake reflects the moon, a silver sheen that makes everything feel a bit magical.
Leaning back, Gracie rests her head on my shoulder, her hair tickling my neck. The smell of her strawberry shampoo makes me smile and I breathe out a sigh.
“Did you ever notice how the stars seem to shine brighter out here?” she asks, her voice tinged with that lightness that only comes from a good evening.
“Yeah, I guess they do,” I reply, looking up. In truth, I’ve never paid much attention, but with her head on my shoulder, everything feels different, more intense.
“They always seem brighter when you’re home,” she says with a smile to her voice and my heart fucking jumps into my throat. “I’m glad you’re back, Connor… and I’m sorry… sorry things didn’t work out with Ava. I know you liked her a lot.”
I clench my jaw. “It was doomed from the start, though, I just kept that from you,” I say and her head whips up.
Her head snaps up, and she narrows her eyes at me. “What? Why would you hide that from me?” She asks, and I shrug.
“Because I didn’t always want to put my problems on you, Tink. Shit between Ava and me started going downhill right after your mom’s funeral,” I admit with a sigh. “She didn’t want me to come back here because she had something planned, but you were more important than some dinner party where I would be a show pony.”
Gracie bites her bottom lip and looks down. “I’m sorry, Con. I didn’t mean to make you choose between me and her,” she says with a sniff that hits me right in the heart.
“Hey, don’t you dare,” I find myself saying, the words more a growl than anything. My hand moves almost of its own accord, reaching out to gently coax her chin upwards, ensuring her gaze locks with mine.
“You needed me, Gracie. More than any of those so-called friends with their high-society nonsense. Don’t you get it? I’d always choose you, every single time, over any of that superficial crap.”
Her eyes, wide and searching, flick up to mine, then, almost without realizing, drift down to my lips. It’s a fleeting moment, but it’s charged with something electric. Acting on impulse, my thumb brushes lightly across her lower lip, but the sharp intake of breath from her shatters the tension like glass.
What the hell was I about to let happen?!
I clear my throat, then, on a whim, I ask, “You know all about my ambitions with the band and you pushed me to pursue them, but I’ve noticed that you never really talked about yours.”
She’s quiet for a moment, then she peers up at me with those green eyes that always seem to see right through me, her cheeks flushed from the wine or the question, I can’t tell.
“I don’t know, Connor. I feel too guilty just thinking about it...” she says, looking away.
I frown, puzzled by her response. “Guilty? Why would dreaming make you feel guilty?”
She lets out a sigh, still avoiding my eyes. “Because... it’s silly, but I’ve always wanted to see the world, you know? Travel to all those places we’ve only read about and write books about them. But...” Her voice trails off, laden with a weight I can sense but not fully understand.
“But what?” I prompt, wanting her to trust me with her thoughts, her fears.
She shakes her head, her bottom lip quivering slightly. “But it feels like betraying my mom’s memory. She loved that place, and after she... after the accident, I just can’t bring myself to even think about leaving.”
I notice the tremble in her voice, the way she wraps her arms around herself, as if bracing against a cold only she can feel.
“Tink, your mom would’ve wanted you to follow your dreams. Staying stuck because you feel guilty isn’t what she would’ve wished for you.”
She nods, but her eyes are glistening with unshed tears. “It’s just, I feel responsible for what happened to her, Connor. Leaving feels like… wrong.”
My heart aches for her, carrying the weight of guilt for something beyond her control. “Gracie, that accident wasn’t your fault. And honoring your mom doesn’t mean you have to give up on your own life.”
I wrap my arm around her, pulling her closer. “Your dreams matter too, Tink. Maybe there’s a way to see the world and still hold on to the bookstore. You’re the most resourceful person I know. If anyone can figure it out, it’s you.”
She finally meets my gaze, her eyes shimmering with unshed tears. “You think so?”
“I know so,” I say firmly, my hand finding hers, giving it a reassuring squeeze. “And I’ll be here, every step of the way, cheering you on.”
She offers a small smile, a glimmer of hope in her eyes that warms me from the inside out. “Thanks, Connor. That... that means a lot.”
As the conversation flows, I start noticing small things about her I’ve never paid attention to before—the way her fingers trail over her arm, the gentle way she brushes her hair behind her ear when she’s nervous, and the passion in her voice when she describes the places she wants to visit.
“You can’t let guilt hold you back, Tink. The world’s out there, waiting for you to write about it. And the bookstore... it’s a part of you, but it’s not all of you. You’re more than just a bookstore owner.”
I move closer, an instinctive need to comfort her. “You’ll never leave her behind, not even if you had to leave here for a short time. She’ll always be a part of you, no matter where you go or what you do.”
Gracie rests her head on my shoulder, a silent acknowledgment of my words. “I want to believe that, I really do. But it’s too soon.”
We sit in silence for a while, each lost in our thoughts. I have to make her see that she’s important as well; her mom would never have wanted this for her. In all my years of knowing Rose Willow, this is not what she would want her daughter to do.
“Promise me something,” I say, breaking the silence.
She looks up, curiosity in her eyes. “What’s that?”
“Promise me you’ll at least think about chasing your dreams. The bookstore will always be a part of you, but it shouldn’t be your anchor.”
She nods, a determined spark lighting her eyes. “I promise, Connor. And... thank you.”
As we pack up to head back, I can’t shake the feeling that tonight was a turning point for both of us. For Gracie, in acknowledging her dreams, and for me, in realizing just how much I want to see her achieve them.