Chapter 12
Lennon
I sit in my car and look up at Connor’s building with mixed feelings. The first thing I feel is relief. Relief that I did it. That I met him and spoke to him without saying anything incriminating or getting myself arrested.
I did it.
Now surely, surely to fuck, I can stop this shit.
I start the ignition, but before putting my car into reverse, I grab my phone from its spot in the center console and send Havi a message.
He doesn’t smoke or drink.
Thought you might like to know.
I stare down at my screen and will the two green ticks next to my message to turn blue. I use every ounce of my focus to do it. All my strength. All my hope. So much strength and hope that the rest of the world fades away and all that’s left is the slick sheen of the screen in my hand.
Bzzzt
A dull vibration shakes me.
My phone buzzed! It actually buzzed.
It gives me such a shock I almost drop it, and like an idiot, I think it’s actually happened—Havi has messaged me back.
Of course he hasn’t.
It’s not him. It’s Connor.
Thanks for coming over. I liked you a lot. The room’s yours if you want it.
I stare at his message in disbelief, and then a few seconds later, stare at my reply in even more disbelief.
Is it because you think I’m good-looking?
Is it because you think I’m good-looking?
Jesus fucking Christ, did I actually send that? What the fuck has gotten into me?
I scramble, stabbing at my screen as I frantically try to delete the message before he reads it.
He’s nothing like Havi, though, so of course he reads it the second it gets delivered.
Maybe.
He follows that with a laughing emoji.
A fucking laughing emoji?
Do you think that’s a good reason to live with someone?
Dunno. Can you think of a better one?
It’s been a hell of a day. An emotional rollercoaster that’s left me wrung out and severely delayed. Any other day, I could think of ten better reasons easily. Maybe more.
Right now? I can’t think of one.